Griffin's Speech Evaluation

Griffin had his first appointment with his new SLP and it went quite well, she is so animated and fun and I am looking forward to the summer when she gets to see him again. There's a waiting list so it won't be until about June until they will see each other again. Anyhow, he did great, responding to her questions l. His receptive language/auditory comprehension is at 4 yrs. 3 months, his expressive speech is at 3 yrs. 9 months, and his articulation of sounds is at 3 yrs. 11 months. I think that he is actually doing better than what these scores reflect but it was just a test and he was distracted by her toys and kept wanting to play with the LaLa and Barney toys so he wasn't as focused as he could have been.

I am not feeling like writing much today so I am going to make this a short post. I will write again soon. I am about to switch over to the new blogger and I am so afraid that everything is going to disappear, like my blogroll because someone told me that it would. If something happens then you can find me at Griffin and Autism .

I hope that the link works and if everything goes awry then I will see you on my new blog and be weeping for the loss of my old blog. I found that I still cannot comment on your blogs and I am certainly missing that, I even tried to use the Griffin and Autism account and it didn't work still. I don't know what's up.

Amy from Colorado, I have been having problems with my e-mail account, I have Incredimail and it's not working properly. You can send the e-mail to griffinblaise@yahoo.com and I will get your e-mail there. If you don't mind, leave me a comment and let me know that you have sent it, that way I will know to check my mail. If anyone else would like to send me an e-mail feel free to write me, I would love to hear from you and open the lines of communication. Thanks for writing Amy, I look forward to hearing from you.

I Cannot Comment on Your Blogs

For some bizarre reason I cannot comment on your blogs because the word verification is not working properly and there simply is not any letters there. It is a bummer to me because I so enjoy reading your blogs and leaving comments so that you know that I have been there. Has anyone else had this problem? Do you know what I should do to remedy this situation? Please let me know if you know of something that I can do.

Otherwise, things are going very well around here. Griffin has been really polite as of late and using his manners all the time. He will use Please, Thank You, and Excuse Me appropriately in every instance. When he burps he says "Excuse me", if he wants you to back away and give him his space he will say "Excuse me" or "Please, move away". I am very proud of him and impressed that he is using such good manners, he even uses sign language to go with his words.

Thank You All

I cannot thank you enough for your kind words of encouragement, they surely helped me a great deal.....more than I can express. It never fails that when I am feeling low and need help, when my depression has got me down and I can't seem to get up my blogger friends always come through for me and for that I am eternally grateful. Your words of advice and your wonderful suggestions have definitely gotten me up and feeling better about myself and about being a good mother. I have made such dear and precious friends here through this blog and met some new ones recently who have been so supportive and I believe that if not for that support there would be times that I could not have gotten up and feeling better about myself. Yes, you all have that kind of power to help me "heal" my psyche and get through my bipolar moments. It is a wicked affliction and I often wish that I did not have it but I do, it is part of me, and there's not much I can do except take my medication and live with the residual symptoms that remain. My previous post was essentially a cry for help and now that I read it it sounds so sad and pitiful which is how I was feeling I guess but that was then and this is now and I wouldn't be in this place had you all not helped me.

I now realize that the move was a good thing for Griffin and eventually it will be a good thing for me too, I just need more time to adjust that's all. I do have some good news, my medicaid was approved and my application for public assistance came through for me (it's not much but every little bit helps). Now all I need to do is get a new lawyer in this area to represent me for my social security disability hearing and sit and wait for them to have the darn thing. Social security has bypassed their deadline as of August of 2006 but of course it makes no difference to them that they passed their deadline for my hearing. There's no need for me to rant about it, all I need to do is to be positive and do what I must to take care of business.

I Need Your Help

This is a new site that I discovered called CafeMom and here is an article that the moderator wrote entitled Happy To Have A Spectrum Kid it is inspiring and encouraging and so are the replies to the article.
Griffin is seen here with my Mom goofing off and being a ham for the camera, I have noticed that lately he has been doing that more and more.

I don't know what it is but lately I have felt like I am not a good mother to Griffin. Maybe my depression is not as good as I thought it was, I thought that since moving from Anchorage that I was doing better but I guess that I was wrong. Sure, I miss Alaska and all my friends, I miss the people, the city, the magnificent scenery, I miss my privacy and my independence but I don't miss the isolation of that apartment in the freezing temperatures and darkness of winter. What to do? I am taking my medications the way I should and my parents are helping out with Griffin. I get out of the house nearly every day but at the same time I cannot seem to shake this feeling that I have that I'm not a good mother and that Griffin is better off here than he was in Anchorage because I wasn't a good mother to him then or now. Griffin has been thriving here and talking a lot, hardly having any meltdowns in fact he is acting more like an NT child more than ever. What is it that I was doing wrong in Anchorage? I talked to my friend Sue about a situation that happened here with my parents which I won't go into out of respect for them but Sue told me that I WAS A GOOD MOTHER! She told me that I was a good mother in Anchorage and that I am still a good mother. She asked me why all of a sudden that I was doubting myself when I was doing fine in Alaska. I couldn't answer her and I still have no answers. It's like a sadness that has overcome me and it only seems to be getting worse. I wish that I had a therapist here, if only I could find out about whether or not my medicaid was approved but it has been over a month and still no word. I miss my therapist in Anchorage, she was so awesome and I will never ever have someone like her ever again. My thoughts have been so dark lately and I wonder about "what if" all the time such as "what if something happens to me then how would Griffin feel, would he miss me?" things like that. I realize that I am pouring my heart out here but I just don't know what to do and I need some support from my blogger friends. I wish that I could hear someone tell me on a regular basis that I am a good mother, someone who is close to me, ya know? What a big difference that would make to just hear those words. Don't we all want to hear them? Am I just a strange one who needs reassurance and validation all the time? I am wondering if any of you have felt the way that I have. Have you ever had dark thoughts about what would happen if you were to die and if your child would even miss you or not? I think that Griffin would miss me but not really bad which breaks my heart but at the same time it would be good because it would mean that he was his usual happy camper self that I always want him to be. Now I am just rambling on and on. Is there anyone out there who has some words of wisdom? Do you think that you could help me? Please!

Sandbox Fun

I am happy to report that Griffin is once again using the potty as he once did, he has even told me that he needs to go and walks into the bathroom on his own. I think that being sick just threw him off and he just needed time to get back into the swing of things. Here Griffin is pictured playing in the sandbox with his cousin and boy oh boy did he have a blast. I think that it was the very first time that he has actually played in a sandbox. He thoroughly enjoyed rolling around in it and putting the sand in his hair, I just let him do as he pleased and have fun not worrying about how dirty he got. Griffin did actually interact with his little cousin who is about 2 years old, he seems to really enjoy the company of children who are younger and smaller than himself for some reason. Granted the interaction was brief at best and it mostly involved him taking turns and sharing toys but anyhow it was great to see that he even had the least bit of interest in her at all.

I am also pleased to report that I got my medicine that I so desperately needed for my Bipolar Disorder through the P.P.A.(Partnership of Prescription Assistance). I had not written about it in the blog but I was running out of my medicine which costs $500.00 a month and had actually been taking it every other day instead of every day as I was supposed to because I was running so low on them but I called the PPA and they came through for me!!! Now I can feel like myself again, my medicated self, and be stable emotionally/mentally and not have to worry about flying off the handle or weeping uncontrollably whenever someone happens to mention something that touches a nerve. I am so grateful for the 3-4 month supply that they sent to me, just think how much money those meds are worth!!! It was actually the drug company who sent me the meds........Bristol-Meyer Squibb but it's about time that the drug companies finally give back to the consumers and not just robbing them blind over medications!!! I am not a big fan of the pharmaceutical industry even though I will be stuck taking their meds for the rest of my life but I won't go into it right now. It just makes me angry and there's not a thing that I can do about it either!

Need Help With Toilet Training Tips

Griffin has been mouthing non-food objects again and putting his fingers in his mouth and writing on windows & mirrors with his saliva (YUCK!), it's no wonder that he keeps getting sick. I try to sanitize his hands as often as I can especially when we go out in public but I can't keep up. I know that it means that he needs more oral stimulation like a spin toothbrush and a Nuk brush too and I guess that I'll be going out to get one in order to help him stop doing these things. Since Griffin got sick recently he has stopped using the toilet almost completely and I don't know how to get him to start using it again. He had been going consistently with a little bit of encouragement getting to the bathroom but once in front of the toilet he would go willingly. Now he has to be practically dragged to the bathroom and once in front of the toilet he refuses to even push his pants down to urinate. He also needs to a great deal of encouragement to get to the bathroom when he needs to have a BM and often goes in his pullups/diaper. I have tried using a reward system where he got a jelly bean or m&m after using the toilet but it stopped working because he totally lost interest in eating them. I don't know of a reward that he likes better than those, he has no interest in stickers either. Of course I give him lots of praise when he goes but he doesn't really seem to care whether I do or not. Who has some suggestions? I would love to hear some ideas that you might have, I'm getting desperate because he has regressed so badly and I feel like we are at square one, even worse than square one because at least at square one he liked jelly beans! Oh and he doesn't seem to be bothered by the feeling of a wet pullup either so that's not a factor. He has some "big boy" underpants but he is not in the least bit interested in wearing them so I don't know how to motivate the little guy.

Fun Depot

Last Saturday we celebrated Griffin's birthday by going to Fun Depot in North Carolina and he seemed to have a really good time. The place was packed and noisy but it didn't seem to phase him at all until the very end when he became restless and started to do the limp noodle bit. It was quite understandable that he would eventually become overwhelmed but he had lasted a few hours playing and running around just as a typical kiddo would. My sister's daughter was there and we got a picture of Griffin kissing her on the cheek unfortunately it was a pic taken in the portrait booth and I cannot share it with you but just the same it was an awesome picture. I am thrilled that he gave her a peck on the cheek because it was an interaction, I mean he actually touched her and in an affectionate manner too. Once Griffin started to show signs of fatigue and of being overwhelmed we went straight home and he zonked out before his meds even had time to kick in, must have been exhausted. All in all it was a great day and I am so grateful that my family was there to share such a special experience with us. I really think that Griffin has enjoyed being around the family, he seems to love the attention and affection. Even though things are not quite the same, the school is not as good, and the services, money and resources are not as good, I am still glad that we are here. Anchorage was good for many things this is true but there's nothing like having family and loving support which we did not have there. I do miss my friends considerably but I don't miss the endless days of darkness, frigid temperatures (that kept us inside all the time), and the tons of snow.......well, I do kind of miss the snow but not shoveling it and having to drive in it! Everything is a trade off and there's got to be a balance in life so instead of complaining about what I don't have I will just be grateful for what we do have and just love life in spite of it all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRIFFIN!!!!!

January 31st Griffin will be 5 years old!!! Happy Happy Birthday to my big boy, I love you so very much!!!! As I reflect I think of how he has grown and developed over these years and it seems like such a long long time ago that he was being diagnosed at age 15 months with autism but at the same time it seems like just yesterday that he was being such a goofy little baby and making me laugh just as he still does. I have read about how parents mourn for the child who once was NT before being diagnosed but I don't feel that way and never have. I just see that little guy as being the same one that I have right now. It's just that he has progressed and digressed in certain areas just as a NT child would but in different ways. There are ups and downs in our lives/his life just as in any family. I don't believe that I am looking at the world through rose colored glasses either, I think that I am just loving life and living in the moment, and accepting Griffin for who he is and throwing all the expectations out the window. Griffin brings so much joy to my life and to those who are near him, he truly touches their hearts with his infectious laugh and brilliant smile. Every day I am grateful for all that he is, I have the whole package.....autism and all so why not be grateful for him because it's not gonna change (or is it?) and if it does then I will love and accept that Griffin also. Sure there are times when I just want to throw my hands up in the air and curse his autism but often times it isn't the autism that is to blame, it's just Griffin being a child. There are times when it is the autism and I can blame it but at the same time it's never an excuse for trying to separate "IT" from him....they are one and the same and I must accept that. My beautiful child has autism and I celebrate who he is and love him unconditionally autism and all. For some of you it may be a different story but isn't that what life is all about anyhow? Even for parents, children, families who are considered NT? We all have our own challenges/struggles to deal with from day to day and isn't it our PERSPECTIVE that makes all the difference in the world? Some of you may HATE autism but how can you hate what is part of your child? Because the two cannot be separated. Perhaps I need to be enlightened by you in order to understand how you feel. I want to understand because I know that you love your children too, just as much as I love my child. My point is that we are all living different life experiences no matter what type of child we have, it is all a great big puzzle and at the same time it is a lovely mess. Life is a mystery to me and I'm not sure that I want all the answers especially if there's no solution (That statement no doubt has ruffled some feathers). I am an optimist but sometimes to a fault but I have have been inspired by my child's joyful disposition and I believe that if I follow his lead then he will take me places that I had only dreamed of finding. For in the end, it is he who is the teacher. He has been put upon this earth to show me the meaning of life and what love is all about. I gave birth to a brilliant and loving soul who has heart is bigger than anyone I have ever known and I cannot wait to see which way he leads me and all the precious moments that I am so privileged to share with him. We have one more blessed year and many an obstacle that we have overcome and for a child with autism who isn't supposed to like change.........he certainly has shown me that change is good and at times it is destined to be. With all my love and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you Griffin for all that you have shown me and taught me along the way!!!!!!!!!

Visit Tina's Blog

ELMOS SING ALONG GUESING GAME is what it reads, this is Griffin's fantastic spelling with only one minor mistake so I think that he is doing a wonderful job. There's not much to report so this is going to be a really brief post. Please visit my friend Tina's blog AutismSchmatism
and read about her son who is sick and in the hospital, say a prayer for them and that he heals/recovers from his illness quickly. He is only 6 years old and they don't even know what is going on with him. Tina is a very dear friend of ours and so are her son's Chance and Jayce. Tina has her hands full with taking care of Chance and Jayce being in the hospital so sick. It breaks my heart that he is so ill and so very unhappy. Let's give Tina some support by leaving her a comment and letting her know that you are thinking of her.

Griffin Had His O.T. Eval Today

Today we met Lauren, Griffin's new O.T. and it was an upside down session. He did not want to listen and do what she asked of him at all. As I quietly observed I wondered if the presence of myself and my Mom was making a difference so I asked her if she preferred for us to leave the room and she said that it was up to me and that I knew Griffin best. So, instead she left the room with him and I could hear him playing and laughing in the distance. He wouldn't put his shoes on for her nor for me or for my Mom. I began to think that perhaps it was because everything was so new and he may have felt overwhelmed or maybe he was just pushing buttons and seeing how much he could get by with......who knows? He was restless and acting very silly and I know for sure that he can do all the things that she asked of him but he flatly refused to do anything she asked especially when she asked. Lauren did recommend that Griffin have O.T. once a week for about 30-45 minutes. We would do it more often but there is a waiting list apparently and I guess that we are lucky to even get that much. Now I've got to get a referral from his new pediatrician for Speech and Language therapy. I do have some new pics of Griffin but I just haven't uploaded them to my computer yet........LOL What a lazy arse I am!!!

Change Is Inevitible and ABA Welcome

Griffin just got over some kind of stomach flu that has been going around the area and boy was it vicious. He was sick with vomiting for several days and it was all we could do to keep him hydrated but he is better now and back to his happy camper self again. He has been hanging out with Nana (my Mom) and having a ball and still talking up a storm. I have decided that I should just trust Griffin's new teacher and her methods even though they are new and strange to me. I have spoken with a key person who thinks that the new classroom and the ABA will be good for him, this person knows Griffin very well and I trust her opinion. So maybe I just need to open up my mind and see how it works, I really don't think that Griffin is being abused in this new classroom so why not give it a try? I truly think that it could actually be beneficial for him. If necessary I will request another I.E.P. meeting and have things changed around. I think that part of my concern was that Griffin was being over disciplined for his behavior and now since speaking to this individual I believe that it's not the case at all. After speaking in detail again to Griffin's new teacher I feel more at ease with what she is planning to do with him and with the ABA method. I guess that I also need to do some research on ABA and become more familiar with it and that way I will be much less afraid of it. For all these years Griffin has been taught through the TEACCH method and it has worked so wonderfully for him and I was afraid that changing would not be good for him but now I have opened up my mind and realized that he is growing and with that growth comes progress which is in turn a product of change. Griffin is unusual in that he doesn't seem to mind change at all unlike so many individuals with autism who prefer sameness. He does well with the lack of structure and routine but I guess that the structure of ABA will still do him some good. It is good that he can adapt to the change of the new environment, people, and classroom but as it was pointed out to me, he is going to try and push some buttons to see how far he can go with his new teachers so it only makes sense that there are methods in place that help him and them to deal with his behaviors and to keep them in check so they don't get out of hand. I don't want my child to be out of control at this age and most certainly not at any age especially as he grows older and larger. Here's hoping that it all goes well and that this strange and new situation grows on me and helps Griffin to grow up.

Griffin is Talking Much More

I knew that we would miss Kathleen and sure enough we miss her really bad. I miss her in more ways than just one. Not only was she an excellent teacher but a great friend and advocate for Griffin. Pictured here is Kathleen reading a book "Oh The Places You Will Go" by Dr. Suess (My all time favorite Dr. Suess book) while I am crying and trying to take a photo. I haven't given the new teacher a chance yet but I am trying to do my best to get to know her and her teaching methods. I plan to go in there and observe her and Griffin to see how things are going. I put a note in Griffin's backpack this morning to her asking how he is doing and some concerns of mine but she did not respond. I am hoping to keep the lines of communication open with her and discuss what is going on with Griffin if not on a daily basis at least on a weekly basis. It is imparitive that I keep up with how he is doing, how he is progressing, and how his behavior is. I got upset the other day because I had discovered that the bus driver was talking on her cell phone while driving the bus. This greatly concerned me so I called transportation and talked to the supervisor of the bus drivers who pretty much made excuses for the driver and didn't even care that it was going on. She said that it was her personal cell phone and that the aide couldn't answer it because of that fact. I was becoming really quite frustrated at this point and decided to go over her head on the matter so I called the district office and spoke with a man there. This guy basically laughed in my face when I asked him if he agreed with me that it was a safety issue, he told me that he wasn't going to comment on that at this time. He did, however state that it was their policy for the drivers to NOT use the cell phone while driving the buses. So, now I guess that the morning bus driver is not too thrilled with me since she is the one that I reported even though I doubt that anything has changed except for her attitude towards me (and hopefully not towards Griffin). One day soon I am going to call the bus driver again and see if she is on the cell phone while driving the bus and if she is then I guess that I will have to go over the head of the guy at the district office and see what happens from there. Otherwise, Griffin is doing great and I am too. Griffin's speech has really taken off and he has been talking up a storm and everything that he is saying meaningful and has a purpose. I am so proud of him and he seems to be proud of himself too. He gleams with pride whenever he accomplishes a sentence or two and gets his point across. Griffin's communication has become easier to hear and understand and I attribute that to being around my parents and hearing more people talk all the time as opposed to the time he spent at home alone with me and I didn't talk that much. Things are definitely looking up for us in many ways. Life here is not without its drawbacks that's for sure but I am doing my best to remain positive and hopeful that everything will turn out for the best.

All is Well

Here my Mom and Griffin are eating pumpkin pie, Mom called it a "pie party", in case you notice, Griffin has a pair of goggles on top of his head. I have spoken with the assistant principal and the teacher of the school Griffin is to attend to resolve some of the issues that I had with the program. I feel better now that I have talked to them and have been assured that they would follow my guidelines and respect my wishes as I had described in the IEP meeting. There will be no use of the Rifton chair for any other purpose than to help my child have a place to sit still and be organized. I am going to go in and observe early on and see exactly how Griffin reacts to the use of this chair. I am going to see how well Griffin does in a thirty minute circle time too because I think that it is just too long for him. I have decided to give it a try and see how it goes because Griffin does need to socialize even if it is only for 2.5 hours a day. There is no other classroom available to him at this age, the school system here does not accomidate 4 yr. olds in an all day setting. Griffin must wait until next school year in order to be able to go to an all day program which really really stinks! He deserves so much more and I am sure that he would do a lot better in a longer program but I knew that there would be a price to pay for moving and sure enough I am not surprised at all. What I can do is to check into other private programs/schools that might support what it is that Griffin needs. I called to get private Speech Therapy but there is a long waiting list and I don't think that there will be an opening anytime soon (he will be getting speech at the school). At least he will get O.T. and soon so that is something to get excited about. It is raining here and is in the mid 60's so it is a warm rain which I absolutely love and it is around -3 in Anchorage right now so I am not missing it too much right now even though there is tons of snow and I know that it is absolutely gorgeous which I do miss.

Have A Happy New Year

With the approaching new year I think back of this time last year and wow what a huge difference and what a long way we have come. I have much to be grateful for and one of those many things is my mental health. Since moving down to South Carolina I have noticed a big difference in my well being and the lack of a feeling of depression. I don't know if anyone remembers but this time last year I was just coming out of the mental health crisis center in Anchorage and I had to leave Griffin with Kathleen for a week and it was such a painful and empty feeling that I thought that I would never get through BUT, I made it through and here I am. There are many things that I miss about Anchorage and one of those things is having my own space and the independence that I don't have here (yet) but it is but a small price to pay for having my mental health back (though never fully restored...lol) and having help with Griffin. Since my last entry I have found out that the medicaid down here does in fact pay for OT for Griffin. I am so thrilled! He has an appointment for the 15th for an hour eval. I am keeping in touch with Gayle, Griffin's previous OT in Anchorage, and we are going to compare notes once he is up and running with his new OT. Just in case there is someone reading this who doesn't know what OT means, it is Occupational Therapist or Occupational Therapy and if you have a child with autism I highly recommend seeing one because it has made a world of difference for Griffin. I don't know yet if the OT here does swimming or not but I am eager to find out what is in store. My time on the computer is still quite limited and I have been really quite busy but I have been thinking of you, all my blogger friends, and hope to get by your blogs soon to see what is up with you and to say "Hi" and to let you know that I still care and am interested in what is going on in your lives. I wish you all a very happy new year and may you have great success in all that you do. May you be surrounded by those who love you and whom you love and have a safe and wonderful New Year's Eve. Oh, I forgot to mention that the photo above is of my niece Hayley with Griffin, he really seems to like her and seems to enjoy all the attention that he gets from her as she loves to snuggle up with him and give him lots of hugs. Thank you to all of you with whom Griffin has had contact and those of you who have helped us in the past year because we wouldn't be where we are today, doing so well, if not for you. We love you all very much and miss the ones who are far away in Anchorage. It makes sad to think about all that we left behind in Anchorage but now is the time to live in the moment and appreciate all that it has to offer, never to forget those we love and miss but to be strong and look forward to the bright and promising future. Hugs to you all and Happy Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Holidays

Griffin was thrilled to get his Big Bird, a present from our dear friend in Alaska, Glenn. He seemed to not be able to grasp the concept of Christmas but did understand the concept of giving gifts because he was spending a lot of time wrapping up presents (which were his toys) in tissue and tape to give to NaNa and PaPa with a bow on top of course. Griffin did really well with the chaos going on in the house, he did do some stimming but only briefly though. The weather is rainy and has been for the past few days and this damp cold is more difficult to tolerate than the dry cold of Alaska. It is hard to understand, I'm sure, if one has not felt the difference but even when it was in the single digits in Alaska I could stand it better than the damp 40's here in SC. I hope that all of you are having happy holidays no matter what holiday you celebrate/observe I hope that you days are full of love and laughter. We are enjoying being with our family, it sure is nice after having been all alone in Alaska for 16 years, well not totally alone, we did have some friends there indeed but for the most part Griffin and I have spent most of our time there alone/all by ourselves. I don't know how I made it by myself for 4 1/2 years raising Griffin by myself especially now that I have the loving support of my parents/family here. Hugs to you all and a very happy holiday!

Griffin went to the doctor yesterday because he needed a new prescription for his Clonidine. I had my concerns about the medication that I had presented to him such as: Does Clonidine, being a medication for high blood pressure, lower Griffin's otherwise normal blood pressure? The doctor answered with: Clonidine does not lower "normal" blood pressure only "high" blood pressure. That was a big relief. I asked him about Griffin waking up in the middle of the night despite him having taken the .2mg of Clonidine and having zonked out. He told me that the medication only lasts 4-6 hours and then wears off (that is when Griffin wakes up). So, it is up to me at that point as to whether or not I want to give him more meds to get back to sleep. Usually if it is around 5 a.m. or so I will just tough it out and stay up with him and not give him more meds but if it is earlier than that I will give him more meds in order to help him get back to sleep. We also discussed the fact that Griffin might be having night terrors and the doctor explained to me that he is in a transition between stages of sleep and they are hard to awaken and very difficult to console because they are still asleep and do not hear or see you. Then Griffin got 3 shots: DTAP, Polio, and the 2nd Chicken Pox vaccinations. I feel so bad giving him his vaccinations but he cannot school without them at least as far as I know that is the law but I was wondering if there is anyone who has stopped giving vaccinations due to the possible thimerisol in the vaccine. My sister has not given her child any vaccines at all and her daughter is 2 years old but I am afraid to not give Griffin his required vaccines even though some of the illnesses are pretty much non-existent anymore. I would love to hear what you have to say about what your opinion is about vaccines/thimerisol and whether or not you think that they are necessary and can my child attend school without these vaccines. I need to do some research and find out whether or not he can go to school without them. Othewise, Griffin is doing great and the toilet training is coming along wonderfully. He uses the toilet by himself now and will even go when I ask him if he needs to. I usually tell him that it is time to go "potty" but he now knows very well whether or not he really has to go, so asking him if he needs to go and leading him into the bathroom he will then decide if he truly needs to go or not. Of course he still has times when he is too involved to take out time to go to the toilet but that is not so often anymore. Just in case I don't write again soon then I wish you all a happy and joyous holiday, may you and yours have lots of smiles and laughter and be surrounded by those you love the most.

My Complaints About the IEP Meeting

As you may know already if you have read this blog for very long, I am a HUGE fan of the TEACCH method because it has worked for Griffin for as long as he has been in school which will be 2 years now. I realize that ABA works wonderfully for many of your children and that there are HUGE fans of ABA out there. That is just great for all of you but for Griffin he has become accustomed to TEACCH and thrived with it and I just do not think that he would do well with ABA or at least not as I understand it. This new teacher that is supposed to be his educator is only trained in ABA and has no clue as to what TEACCH is nor does she have a clue that it is totally inappropriate to tell a child that he is a "good boy" as apposed to telling him that he did a "good job". This is all just the surface of what is bothering me. She told me that she was very proud of the fact that she does exactly the same things every single day, day in and day out. I do know my child well enough to know that that simply would not work for him. He would be bored out of his mind if he had to only do the same things, that he already knows, over and over again. Not only that but then she tells me that they have circle time for THIRTY minutes!!!! That is absolutely outrageous and even Kathleen said that it was way too long for Griffin. Then she said in an almost gleeful manner when I asked her what method she used for behavior management she said that they used redirection first (she didn't say that they tried it more than once) then they,the children, are made to sit in a Rifton chair and held down if necessary. I was totally dumbfounded!As she turns to me and asked me if that was okay with me. I found it so appauling that I was speechless, then I found the words and protested and replied that NO it was not okay with me. On top of everything else, the class is only 2.5 hours long and they do not have gym nor do they go outside to play so I just don't see how there can be time for him to socialize. Griffin is used to being challenged and if he is not challenged then he is bored and then he will act out and be "disciplined" and then boy oh boy, will I ever be an exceptionally upset parent then. Perhaps to some of you this does not seem like much of a problem but I am really upset with the IEP meeting and I am going to demand another one and this time I am going to have an advocate there with me from the Austism Society of SC. And yes I did know when we moved down here that the schools would be "poor" at best and that the teachers here wouldn't have anything close to the education and intellegence or the experience that Mrs. Kathleen has in Anchorage, Alaska. She was trully a blessing indeed. There is more to it than I have mentioned but I just get so darn upset then I can hardly type and will have to continue on later. I am seriously considering finding a private school for him until after he turns 5, or rather until the end of the school year and then get him ready for kindergarten. He has been working at Kindergarten level in Kathleen's class, working on tasks individually, and he has shown signs of interacting with his peers in his classroom and outside of it. I need to go now and go to sleep. I thank you all ahead of time for all your support. Please let me know, from those of you with lots of experience, how you think that this might turn out and what I might be able to do about what I consider to be "inappropriate education" and do you agree with the individuals who told me that restraining a child is illegal unless there is some kind of behavior plan in place or something like that? It is all so overwhelming for me and the darn IEP meeting consisted of talk about other people and somebody's colonoscopy, I was beginning to wonder what the heck I was doing there and was it just some kind of social event for them. The one positive thing that I can say is that the director of special needs from the district office seemed really really nice and the teacher seemed to have lots of enthusiasm but most of all the speech path. was the only one whom I found to be totally professional and focused on my child and what is best for him. I will continue later because I didn't even mention anything about the goals, or the lack thereof. Love to you all , thanks and I hope to have time to visit your blogs soon because I miss you terribly and I've got to get an e-mail to Tina and the Boys too. I haven't forgotten you guys.

Just a Quick Entry, Then I Will Cry

I am sooooooo upset that I could cry for a couple of reasons, one being that I just downloaded my pictures from Anchorage and our trip and all the people that we left behind and only to find out that they were not retained in my computer like they usually are so now I have forever lost those images and it just makes me want to cry!!!!!!! The second reason and the most important reason that I want to cry (really bad) is that my worst nightmare of Griffin's education pretty much has come true. I can't go into it right now because I am so upset, so upset in fact that I don't even want to talk about it. Let's just say that it is a good thing that it is Christmas/holiday vacation for the schools down here otherwise the teacher and the administration would be getting an earfull from me about what their idea of an appropriate education is for my child. I just knew that it would be the farthest from Kathleen and that I would never ever be so lucky as to have such a wonderful, intellegent, kind, and considerate teacher such as her but for sure I didn't think that it would be THIS bad. I know that you are probably eager to hear what happened in Griffin's IEP meeting but unfortunately I just can't do it right now and will have to come back to it. I think that I am going to do some crying now and get it out of my system. Otherwise, we are both doing great. Happy Holidays!

Griffin has adjusted great, interacting quite well with my parents, family, and complete strangers. Although it is not even close to the low temperatures of Anchorage it is still quite chilly here sometimes in the teens. Griffin pays no mind to the chill in the air and I think that it is exhilirating and refreshing so we have no complaints. Nothing can compare to sub-zero temps like we had in Alaska so it is nearly tropical here, I do miss the snow though in a way. It is nice to be able to move around freely without having to worry about road conditions though. It is a bittersweet situation because there are good and bad points to each place. I have been kind of helping my parents out with remodeling their house, helping my dad put down the hardwood floors. We finally received all the packages that I had shipped all except my computer that is. So, not only am I staying busy but I still have little time on this laptop and am still waiting for my computer to arrive. We went shopping with my family yesterday in Asheville, NC for Griffin's school clothes and I am going to go and register him for school today. I didn't get the IEP in the boxes that were shipped until last Friday so we are just now able to do that. I am reluctant about putting him into this new classroom because I am not sure about the teacher or her ciriculum, nobody could possibly compare to the awesome talents and skills that Kathleen possesses. I know that Griffin is very intellegent and will do well no matter where he is or what he is doing but I wish for him to love his new teacher just as he has loved Kathleen and for us to become good friends too. Am I wishing for the moon here? Do I expect/desire too much? Is it unrealistic to hope to have a similar situation as we had in Anchorage at Nunaka Valley School? Kathleen, if you are reading this we miss you terribly and thank you again for all that you have done for us, we love you dearly. I am still waiting for the Dept. of Social Services to get in gear and get Griffin's medicaid up and running so that we can begin Speech again, I would say OT also but I found out that in SC medicaid doesn't cover OT unfortunately. Well, it is time to make sometimg for Griffin's breakfast so I need to get going. I will hopefully get my computer before Thursday so that I can send some e-mail and read and comment on blogs again but until then I won't be online for long but I wish you all well and I hope to make another entry soon/before the holidays that is. Take care all of you

We Are Here

This is just a short post to let everyone know that we are here in South Carolina and doing well. Griffin did do very well on the airplane(s) and in fact did not have a meltdown. He has been enjoying himself here at my parent's home. I can't stay online for very long right now because I am tying up the phone line but I will be back soon to post a new entry and give some details of what's going on down here. Love to all my friends and big hugs especially to Tina and the Boys. I haven't had a chance to check my e-mail or to send any out because I don't have my computer yet and my time on this computer is very limited but I will get to it soon.

It's Time to Go

I'm feeling so overwhelmed because I have so much to do and I just don't know how I am going to get it all done in time. It sure would be nice if I had some help! I don't even have time to sit here and compose an entry. Gotta run, Griffin will soon be here and then we've got to go to speech. I am shipping my computer tomorrow so I doubt that I will have time to write again before we leave so GOODBYE EVERYONE for now and see you when we get to South Carolina. Stay well my friends and love & hugs to you all! Wish us a safe journey and NO meltdowns.

Happy Friday

Well, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving and we are truly blessed with dear friends who really care about us. I hope that all of you had a great time as well. Griffin played both alone and somewhat with other children. He has this propensity towards playing with little kiddos, those much smaller than he and when he is near them he totally interacts with them face to face. It is so darn cute to watch. He will bend over in an attempt to get down to their size, look them straight in the face, and begin talking to them and often trying to hug them as well. I think that I can safely say that he is "playing" with them when attempting to do this and I believe that I can also say that this is progress as far as socialization goes.

Sorry for not having any pictures of Griffin, I think that the last one that I took was of Griffin in the snow out on our deck however, I don't have anymore because I have not been taking photos with the digital camera. I hope to remember it before we leave and take some unforgettable pics of Alaska and my little precious kiddo.

That's all for now folks, have a happy Friday and a wonderful weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!~ Unknown

Just Waiting

I'm just waiting now until it's time to do the last minute packing and cleaning. Griffin is doing well, no more signs of him knowing that something is up. He's been acting quite himself, the happy little camper that he is, and still showing signs of great progress. Today he is a bit hyper but I am glad that he is active and playing well on his own because we are staying inside all day due to the freezing cold temps. It's a good thing that there's not much to do because I am feeling really unmotivated today. I should be doing something productive but instead I am going to catch up on reading/commenting on all your blogs. I have missed reading what's going on in your lives and with your kiddos. Lately, I have been feeling anxious and stressed out over this move especially the closer it gets to the 2nd day of December. I worry too much, I'm sure but I can't help but wonder if I will get my stuff done in time and have my apartment cleaned out in time to get my deposit back. That's $700.00 I could certainly use as I will have no income once we are in South Carolina. I worry too that Griffin is going to have a major meltdown once we are on the airplane and I won't have any help unless complete strangers help me like last flight we had back in April when we went to go visit my family. We shall see I suppose, I can only hope for the best and be prepared for the worst, that's my philosophy anyways. As I mentioned before, it is exceptionally cold here and clear/sunny which is always conducive to a good mood but not so easy on the body since the clear skies make it even colder. We haven't had any fresh snow for weeks now and I would like to see some nice new powder before we leave so that I could get some great pictures and because it tends to be warmer when it snows.

Griffin is Beginning to Notice

Griffin is beginning to show signs of not understanding what is going on even though I have explained it to him I still don't think that he gets it. This morning he woke up disoriented and crying. He couldn't figure out what it was exactly that he wanted even though he was trying to tell me, I just couldn't understand him. It finally passed and he got over it and eventually was his happy little self again but I can't help but to think that he did that because of all the changes around the apartment. For the most part our routine is the same and he seems to be doing okay at school at least as far as I know, Kathleen hasn't written anything to me to indicate that he is having any trouble there. This afternoon he seems to be fine too playing on his own, laughing, and talking as usual.

It is so very cold here, presently it is 12 degrees with a wind chill factor of -5 but because of the wind it feels much colder than that actually. My apartment's heat is not working right and it won't heat up beyond 70 degrees which sounds like it is fine but my hands are very cold and so are Griffin's. I have the thermostat turned up past 80 degrees but it won't budge. I am concerned that the colder it gets outside the colder it is going to get in here. I told the landlord and all he could say was that the apartment needs more insulation (which he is going to take care of after we leave) and that 70 degrees is not so bad so in other words, he isn't going to do anything about it. He also stated that the heater wasn't working hard enough to pump out the necessary warmth that would be necessary to heat the apartment. I don't have a space heater nor do I think it is wise to go out and purchase one when we are about to leave. So, I think that I am going to ask him if he has one that I can borrow.

As far as the packing goes I have packed up all that I can for now of all the stuff that we are not using presently and the ARC/thrift store is picking up the donations tomorrow thank goodness. I am so ready for all this stuff to be out of here and not be piled up in the kitchen floor and in the closet. I am ready to clean up and get the last minute stuff packed up and sent.

That's all for now folks, I am going to attempt to get some of your blogs read tonight so hopefully I can catch up on what is going on with you all.

So Much To Do!

I just can't believe how much stuff I have got to pack, throw away, and to donate, it is so overwhelming! This apartment looks like a cyclone has been through here. I have sent already 8 boxes and still have 7 boxes to go. That doesn't include the stuff that's left for the last minute such as toys, clothes, and Griffin's VHS tapes that I plan to send. Talk about expensive, it's a good thing that I have enough money to send this stuff or I would have to donate things that mean a great deal to me. I have been asked by several different people if Griffin has noticed that things are different, if he realizes that we are moving or not. As far as I can tell he is clueless and is acting just as he usually does. I plan on explaining it to him just in case he can understand the concept but I think that as well as I know Griffin he will not react to things being different until it is time to get on the airplane then I believe he will definitely show signs of protest and have a meltdown. I truly hope that he does not get upset and feel overwhelmed, I have a book of PECS that Kathleen made for him for traveling on an airplane from our last trip that should help him to adjust. It is my hope that he will be calm and relaxed because I plan on giving him the Clonidine to help him sleep. We are scheduled to leave in the wee hours of the morning and have our first layover where I hope to be able to meet our friends who we have never met before in person, only through the internet and through phone calls. I am so excited to get to meet them finally. Well, it is time to get back to packing and cleaning, I will keep you updated and let you know what is going on when I am not too busy packing and stuff. I may not have time to stop by your blogs, sorry, but I plan to catch up once we are in SC.

Griffin In The Snow

This picture is for Big Brother. He wanted to see the snow in Alaska so here is Griffin in the snow out on our deck. I will be taking more pictures before we leave because as much as I hate driving in it I sure am going to miss the snow. Maybe we will make a snowman for you Big Brother. How would you like that?

Nothing going on really, just being a hermit as usual in the winter and getting my packing done, throwing away a lot, and have tons of stuff to donate. I do have a funny story to share about something that Griffin said at school, Kathleen told me about it yesterday. She said that they have been taking their lunches from the lunchroom and into the classroom to eat and that the milk is taken away from the children at the beginning of the meal so that the kids don't fill up on milk before they have a chance to eat. So, the kids were walking into the classroom with their meals/milk and Griffin looked up at Ed (the teacher's aide) and declared, "Why don't you take my milk, Ed!" and Ed replied, "Well, I think I will Griffin thank you!" so Griffin said, "No problem". For Griffin to use language like that is amazing, that's what makes it so funny. He just seems so mature when he talks like that and I am so proud of him.

Griffin is doing very well, his vocabulary has expanded over the last few weeks and he is beginning to ask questions such as: What are you doing? Why not? and What's that? This is great progress for him and I am very proud that he has made such improvement lately.

I am, on the otherhand, kind of a mess during the day when there is so much to do. There are things to pack, throw away, and donate. There are errands to run, places to go and phone calls to make. I just feel so overwhelmed even though I have a list that I check off as I go I still wonder how the heck I am going to get everything done in time for the move. I am hoping to be out of here by December 1st but somehow a month just doesn't seem like long enough to get all these things done. Does anyone know how I feel? Have you had to move in a short period of time and felt overwhelmed? I would love to hear from you and read your stories about moving, it would be a most pleasant distraction and a great source of support for me.

We got our first snow today, not much just a dusting of snow, and I look forward to getting a huge load of it before we have to leave because I am going to miss it. We won't be seeing any snow in S.C. that's for sure but there may be a teensy bit of it in N.C. when I go up to visit my brother and sister there. Unlike southcental Alaska (Anchorage) the snow is very wet in N.C. when they do get it and it is bitter cold because of the moisture in the air but here in Alaska it is quite dry and when it gets way down on the thermometer it doesn't feel so cold. Of course there are people who would beg to differ but for me it is easily tolerated with just a sweater and a jacket.

Tagged!

1.Things that scare me
-Griffin being hurt/taken by someone
-Falling into water while in a car
-Griffin getting loose from me and running into traffic

2.People who make me laugh
-Griffin
-Mom
-Dad

3.Things I hate the most
-People chewing with their mouths open
-Exhaust fumes
-Being depressed

4.Things I don't understand
-Lack of compassion
-How someone could harm a child
-Griffin's babble

5.Things I am doing right now
-Watching the dog and cat play together
-Listening to the news
-Missing Griffin, he just got on the bus, but enjoying the peacefulness.

6.Things I want to do before I die
-To own at least one horse
-Make sure that Griffin is set for life
-Grow very old

7.Things I can do
-Multi-task
-Paint
-Sculpt

8.Ways to describe my personality
-Considerate
-Loving
-Flexible

9.Things I can't do
-Listen to someone talk to me while the t.v. is on
-Sing
-Eat pork, I'm allergic to it

10.Things I think that you should listen to
-The crickets on a summer's night
-Elderly people
-Your children

11.Things you should never listen to
-Gossip
-Negative self-talk
-Propaganda

12.Things I'd like to learn
-How to write a book
-More foreign languages
-More and more about Griffin & autism

13.Favorite foods
-Anything/everything Greek
-My mom's potato salad
-Godiva ice cream

14.Beverages I drink regularly
-Water
-Coffee
-Red wine

15.Shows I watched as a kid
-The Flintstones
-The Brady Bunch
-Starsky and Hutch

16.Persons I am tagging to do this meme
-Tina
-Christina
-Melissa H.

Top 10 Terrific Traits of Autistic People

If you're sick of hearing about all the "deficits" challenging people on the autism spectrum, join the club! But for every down side to autism, there seems to be a positive -- an unusual trait that rarely appears among the "typical" community, but shines out among autistic folk. These plusses are well worth celebrating.

1) Autistic People Rarely Lie
We all claim to value the truth, but almost all of us tell little white lies. All, that is, except people on the autism spectrum. To them, truth is truth -- and a good word from a person on the spectrum is the real deal.
2) People on the Autism Spectrum Live in the Moment
How often do typical people fail to notice what's in front of their eyes because they're distracted by social cues or random chitchat? People on the autism spectrum truely attend to the sensory input that surrounds them. Many have achieved the ideal of mindfulness.
3) People with Autism Rarely Judge Others
Who's fatter? Richer? Smarter? For people on the autism spectrum, these distinctions hold much less importance than for typical folks. In fact, people on the spectrum often see through such surface appearances to discover the real person.
4) Autistic People are Passionate
Of course, not all autistic people are alike. But many are truly passionate about the things, ideas and people in their lives. How many "typical" people can say the same?
5) People with Autism Are Not Tied to Social Expectations
If you've ever bought a car, played a game or joined a club to fit in, you know how hard it is to be true to yourself. But for people with autism, social expectations can be honestly irrelevant. What matters is true liking, interest and passion -- not keeping up with the Joneses.
6) People with Autism Have Terrific Memories
How often do typical people forget directions, or fail to take note of colors, names, and other details? People on the autism spectrum are often much more tuned in to details. They may have a much better memory than their typical peers for all kind of critical details.
7) Autistic People Are Less Materialistic
Of course, this is not universally true -- but in general, people with autism are far less concerned with outward appearance than their typical peers. As a result, they worry less about brand names, hairstyles and other expensive but unimportant externals than most people do.
8) Autistic People Play Fewer Head Games
Who was that woman, and why were you looking at her? I know I TOLD you I didn't mind if you went out, but why did you believe me? Most autistic people don't play games like these -- and they assume that you won't either. It's a refreshing and wonderful change from the Peyton Place emotional roller coaster that mars too many typical relationships!
9) Autistic People Have Fewer Hidden Agendas
Most of the time, if a person on the autism spectrum tells you what he wants -- he is telling you what he wants. No need to beat around the bush, second guess, and hope you're reading between the lines!
10) People with Autism Open New Doors for Neurotypicals
For some of us neurotypicals, having an autistic person in our lives has had a profound positive impact on our perceptions, beliefs and expectations. For me, at least, being the mom of a son on the autism spectrum has released me from a lifetime of "should" -- and offered me a new world of "is."
By: Lisa Jo Rudy

Today Was A Good Day

Just a short post to let you know that today was a good day, the sun was shining and I came into some money that I didn't expect to get and now I can buy the S.A.D. light that I so desperately need. Griffin is doing great as well and I think that he senses when I am feeling better because he seems so much happier. Maybe it's just my perception of the situation that comes into play but I could swear that he was squirrelly today because mommy was in such a great mood. He didn't do much in speech today because he had a hard time focusing but hey, he is allowed to have his off days too and I am just grateful that he is such a happy kiddo most all the time. I notice that when I am depressed and having a bad day that he tends to act out a bit more but if I talk to him and keep my wits about me then he will straighten up. Anyhow, I wanted to thank all of you for your great support and all your kind words, it helps me even more than you could ever know. There's a rough road ahead of me and I know that I can get through it because of you! I love you guys! Take care, and have a great day!

Depression Had Kicked IN

If you look closely you can see the snow on the mountain tops and it is just a matter of time before it gets down here. We have had so much rain and gloom that it has kicked in my depression early this year. On top of that, it is getting really dark earlier and earlier. I wake up and it's dark and that is depressing! My ANP (Advanced Nurse Practioner) told me that I am not a candidate for anti-depressants because of all the undesirable reactions/side effects that I have had in the past. So this year I am winging it and I am on my own with my depression. She recommended that I get a S.A.D. light but the darn things are just too expensive, I simply cannot afford one right now. So, wish me luck and cross your fingers for me that I don't end up in the Crisis Treatment Center like I did last year. I just can't wait to move gosh darnit! I sure do wish that I would hear something from Social Security soon. It is way past the deadline for a hearing but who knows, they do things in their own time not when ya want it or need it to happen. For those of you who may not have read my previous posts, I applied for SSDI and am awaiting a hearing and we're fast approaching the 2 year mark. I just want to be near my family and to feel happy again and I am NOT looking forward to seeing the snow. It rained all frickin' summer and now it is already in the low to mid 40's and will be freezing very soon. If it seems like I am complaining then you would have guessed it correctly because I feel like hell and I desperately want to feel good again. I wish you all a great day and hopefully the sun is shining where you are. Sorry for the gloomy mood I wish that I could just switch it off :(

Swimming for the First Time

This is a picture of Griffin petting the little piglets at the Alaska State Fair's petting zoo. I think that he had a grand time on that day, I will be showing more photos in the next few posts. Griffin had swimming on Friday at OT and on Saturday's swim lesson at one of our local high schools. Both times he did a great job going under the water and jumping into the pool with no fear whatsoever. At OT he actually "swam" for the very first time all by himself. It's true that he was just treading water but he did it without any kind of assistance, no floatation device or anything! Gayle let go of him and he smiled and paddled his legs and arms like crazy trying desperately to keep his head above water and he did and I am so very proud of him. Griffin has been getting hyper after swimming lately and I cannot figure out why. It is unusual for him to become so full of energy in the evening and one would think that he would be tired after swimming but it seems to invigorate him. Does anyone have any idea why this might happen? Along with the extra energy that he has he also misbehaves by getting into everything and driving mommy bonkers. As a rule Griffin is a mellow sort of guy who typically behaves and plays nicely on his own but when he is "energized" he bounces off the walls and leaves no stone unturned, always looking for something to get into. I welcome any ideas or comments that you might have about why this might happen and what I might try to do to help him through it. Have a great day all of you and thanks for your comments!!!!

Occupational Therapy with Gayle

Griffin loves his numbers so much that he has had to fall asleep with them. Today was OT with Gayle and I think that Griffin had a blast. First, there was movement where Griffin went down a slide on a scooterboard 5 times then he got to play a Teletubbie's floor game followed by a snack of one fuzzy peach. Finally there was the crafts where Griffin got to put paint all over his forearm in order to paint a tree trunk and then all over his hands to make the leaves, now with this he really had a good time........there was paint everywhere, hee hee. The really nice part is that Griffin seemed to listen to Gayle really well and mostly because she has a way of talking to him that helps him to understand and comply. So, Gayle, you are our hero and we love you very much. Thank you for helping Griffin to progress so nicely with each and every session. Oh yes and what else is really cool is that Gayle continued with the WH questions and asked Griffin some WHY questions like, "Why do you have a mouth (ears, eyes, nose, etc.....)?" and he answered most of them but the important part is that she is continuing on with what the SLP is working on because she had read it on the blog. Hugs to you Gayle!!!!!!

WH questions

This is really simple but a big deal to me.......When the SLP was asking Griffin WH questions he was doing okay especially on the What and Who but the When and Why questions were much more challenging. What impressed me the most is the one Why question that he did answer, "Why do butterflies have wings?" he promptly replied, "So they can fly!" I am just thrilled with that!!! Yes it was only one Why question and answer but he met the challenge head on and conquered it! YEAH Griffin, you're my little champ!

Results of my sleep study/Dick and Jane

As it turns out the hypersomnia (excessive daytime sleepiness) that I have is the results of my medication, the doc said that I am taking way too much (twice the recommended dosage) because the sleep study showed that I am getting adequet sleep and do not have obstructive sleep apnea. The nap study showed that I am indeed excessively sleepy during the day because it took me only an average of 6 minutes to go to sleep/nap. So, I will go to see my ANP on Tuesday and adjust my medication and see if we can nip this stuff in the bud.

While we were shopping I picked up a Dick and Jane book to see if Griffin could read it and sure enough he was reading it like a pro, no real surprise there but he read it with such fluency now, THAT surprised me! I couldn't decide whether I should get it or not but finally figured that if he read it with such ease then he would likely get bored with it so I didn't get it. Besides, I am not sure that he was understanding what he was reading which is equally as important as the reading is. Maybe I will look for something that is a bit more challenging and has more meaning to it that is relevant to his life/living. I believe that a book that talks about practical everyday stuff would have more meaning than "Help Jane Help, Help, Help." Some of the pharses were relevant to his life but in general it wasn't. If anyone has a suggestion of a book or books that would be useful and have relevant words in it I would greatly appreciate it. I am thinking about just writing a book with words about his day to day life and throwing in some really challenging words here and there.

Take care my friends and hope that you have a splendid day!!!!

I just got back from my sleep study and haven't found out anything yet. I have an appointment on Thursday with the doctor to find out the results. I will keep you posted. It was really weird because I had to take a nap every two hours during the day and I was still dozing off while sitting in the chair watching television. It's quite perplexing so, we shall see how it goes. Hope that everyone has a great weekend and I'll try to keep the blog current and let you know what's going on. Griffin is doing great. He has been saying "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome" almost all the time now, it's so cute.

Going in for a Sleep Study

I am going in tomorrow night to have a sleep study done because I have been having excessive daytime sleepiness for months now maybe even years but my memory is so poor that I don't even remember how long it's been. Whenever I read no matter how alert I am I still fall asleep. I don't mean that I fall asleep and then take a nap, it's like I fall asleep for just a few seconds and then wake up and then it just keeps happening over and over. When I sit for a period of time and even when I am talking to someone it happens then too. I hope that it makes sense how I explained it. Anyhow, it is potentially dangerous because it has happened when I was driving too so I am finally having this sleep study done to determine if I have Narcolepsy or not. I hope that I don't because the only treatment for it is essentially "speed" or amphetimines whatever you want to call them. I can't take those kinds of meds because I am bipolar and it would only enhance my mania. Hopefully it is just a side effect of my medication but there is the possiblity that I have Narcolepsy because my aunt was just diagnosed with it but I don't know if it is hereditary or not. The only time that it doesn't happen is when I am standing up but otherwise I get sleepy as if someone has just tranquilized me and I am fighting it off. So wish me luck with that. Griffin is doing great and just completed his testing in speech. Both Lisa and I were amazed at his receptive language and how well he answered open ended questions. I sure will miss him while I am at the sleep study because it will be one night and a full day on Friday but it has to be done before we move because I don't know if medicaid will cover something like that in South Carolina. Still no word on my disability hearing, just waiting it out.

Spelling Like Nobody's Business

Griffin has been spelling like crazy and here he has spelled "Stomp, (The name of the show which I think was on Broadway), Sesame Stret DVD and vedeo" then he spelled "Entertainment" on a sheet of paper he wrote, "Barney Can you sing that song?" complete with the question mark. I'm so proud of my little genius.......What else can I say?

We Are Moving

I have thought about it long and hard and finally come to the conclusion that we are in fact going to move to South Carolina to be with my family. It was not an easy decision to make because Griffin is getting some of the best education that he could possibly have in the nation here. Kathleen has been such an awesome teacher and I just know that wherever we go that nothing will compare to what she has done for him. I could be wrong, and I hope that I am, but it's just a feeling that I have. Nevertheless, what's most important at this point in time is that we are close to our family and have the support that is so desperately needed. I don't want a repeat of last December when I had to go to the Crisis Treatment Center because my depression had gotten so bad. My mental health is tantamount to his education because I have to take care of myself before I can be a good mother to Griffin. As much as I love Alaska, and it will be a sad day indeed, I must leave here because the weather and the lack of sunlight in the winter just gets me down too bad. Not that it is going to be all peachy keen to move to SC because it's not my ideal climate either. The summers will be exceptionally difficult for me because of the heat and the humidity but at least it won't trigger my depression. With age Griffin is becoming more and more difficult to deal with and I am increasingly having a hard time caring for him in the manner in which he needs to be. Because of his meltdowns and doing the limp noodle and refusing to leave the apartment it is not just a source of frustration but a major obstacle in our daily routine. It seems as though I am trying to justify our leaving and this is not my intention because I feel like, in my heart and soul, this is truly the best decision for not just me but also for Griffin in the long and short term. Between my parents and I we can supplement his schooling with homework and hopefully with private OT and Speech. I don't know how good the medicaid system is down there but I am hoping that it will be comparable although I have heard that it is not even. It will be at least 2-3 months before we will be able to move so that I have plenty of time to get things organized and send items down there ahead of time. Also I am waiting for my disability hearing for Social Security and I don't know if it will be favorable or not but either way we are moving. Griffin will adjust quite easily and quickly I believe because he did so well when we went down there in April for a visit. I'm following my intuition on this and I have a good feeling about it.

Problems with Blogger and Page Loading

I am afraid that something is wrong with my blog and my page loading properly. This entry is a test to see if I can get my page to load properly. Leave me a comment on whether or not you were able to get the page to load. Thanks for helping me out. Maybe I have too many photos because I only have 138 entries and the limit is 999 so I don't understand what the problem is. Thanks again for leaving me a comment and hope you have a great day.

Pictures of Griffin

Griffin had a great first day of school according to Kathleen (his teacher) and mommy had a great day too. It certainly helped that the sun was out all day and that we had NO RAIN!!! Here are some really great pictures of Griffin, I especially like them because they are black and white. I like the one on the bottom because it shows Griffin's goofy side being a ham for the camera and the top one I am particularly proud of because it just turned out great. Photography is a hobby of mine and having a great subject such as Griffin sure makes it easier to get some really good pics. That's all for now, hope everyone is having a splendid day.

A Picture of Me

My dear friend Tina had once mentioned that she wondered what I looked like so here you go Tina, a picture of me. This is me in Greece, I have no makeup on so you get what I really look like all natural. It's the only picture of me that I have that I am halfway happy with that shows the real me. Sure, I have pictures of me with makeup on looking a might better than this but since you are all my friends then I felt that I should be myself and show you my likeness unadulterated. So, for all of you who are reading this consider yourself tagged and let's see a picture of you. C'mon, it will be fun to do.

Griffin had OT on Wednesday and had a major meltdown throughout most of the session but once it was over he was fine. His behavior has been stellar here at home especially since it has been raining for so long and we have had to stay indoors to play. Of course we go out to take Abby but Griffin has to sit in the car while I walk her around the car at the park so that's no fun for him. Considering the amount of time that we have had to spend indoors he has been a happy little camper and playing beautifully with his toys, spelling with his magnetic letters and blocks, writing and drawing on his chalkboard, and of course singing and dancing to the music. Stephanie (the respite provider) has stayed with Griffin some for me and I have been able to run about and do some errands, thank goodness. Thank you Stephanie. School begins on Monday and as much as I have enjoyed spending time with him I do so look forward to having time to myself on a regular basis. Not only that but I am always very happy for him to have time away from me and in a different learning environment with lots of new stim each day.

Hope you are having a great day! Thanks for reading our blog and sharing in our day to day life, I'll be by to see you and visit your blog as soon as I can.

Things have been getting better lately for us. I tried the techniques that all my dear friends had recommended and they all worked!!!! I tried the bribery with the tiny M&M's which worked well because I would give him them immediately after he accomplished what I had told him to do for example putting on his shoes and jacket and going out the door. I would give him one with the completion of each task and he liked that of course and I did too because it made things go so smoothly. When he did the limp noodle bit I told him that I would drag him or he could walk and he still laid there on the floor so I dragged him out the door but the next challenge is getting him down a flight of stairs. So, I just waited until he at least sat on the top step and helped him to slide down on his rump. This did become quite tricky because at times he would manuver such that it would throw me off balance and I almost fell down the stairs. So, we are working on that part. I tried making a game out of it but he was already in meltdown mode and didn't want to laugh and play at that moment. The dragging worked great even though he made it look like I was torturing him horribly or like he was being a spoiled brat having a fit over something and let me tell you, that is how I felt. I felt like my child was being a brat and I nearly cried because I felt like I was being manipulated like a marionette. A puppet on a string is what it feels like lately and I must gain control over these situations. I also tried the : you do ___ and then you get____. I tried the: you do____ and you get to go to____ and it didn't work quite as well as I would have liked. I told him that if went out the door and to the car then we could go to (one of his favorite stores ie...Wal-Mart or Fred Meyers) but maybe my timing was off but he didn't respond to that as well. Funny thing is that it works for his teacher at school, of course. That is exactly what she recommended that I do when he does the limp noodle bit. Maybe he just knows that he can push my buttons and mommy will nearly cry and eventually attempt to carry him out the door. It's as though he gets some enjoyment out of me carrying him out the door and waiting for him to get down the stairs and then dragging him to the car. My higher thinking tells me that he is not enjoying any part of it any more than I am. I believe that this situation is a work in progress and I know that I have got to teach him that mommy's buttons are not going to be pushed and that he cannot manipulate me anymore! That said, I am going to continue to work on ME because I am the teacher and it is up to me to do what is best for him and for ME.
I greatly appreciate all the suggestions and I will continue to listen to them and to you, my friends, because that's what this whole blog thing is for me a network of friends helping one another.
As far as the sleeping goes, I started him back on the melatonin and it is helping him sleep through the night but I still give him the 1/2 Clonidine because the doctor told me that the Clonidine is supposed to be safer than anything else but I can't help but wonder that if it is so darn safe then why isn't it an over-the-counter drug like Benadryl. I should have asked him that but didn't think of it at the time. I am going to call him tomorrow and ask him or ask my pharmacist. Oh, by the way, the Calm Child did help to calm him down but didn't seem to help him sleep through the night. I will keep them on hand for days when he is feeling overwhelmed and perhaps a bit too energetic and bouncing off the walls.

Sleep Difficulty and Not Leaving the Apartment

I have decided that I would just take a break from giving Griffin the melatonin for about a week and see what happens when we start it back. I have been told that it should help make a difference. I went to the local health foods store and talked to the owner and she was quite helpful in that she recommended this tablet called Calm Child that has a mixture of several different herbs and vitamins/minerals in it to promote calmness (is that a word?). Anyhow, it does seem to help calm him before bed though it doesn't knock him out or rather help him to get sleepy. I have been enjoying some respite as Stephanie has been coming each evening and watching Griffin for me. I haven't done anything that great but it is just nice to have some alone time and peace and quiet outside the home. Griffin went to swimming yesterday and did a great job. I was just grateful that I got him out of the apartment because I have had some difficulty in getting him to leave the apartment lately. He does the limp noodle and he is too big for me to be able to pick him up and move him so for 2 days in a row he didn't leave the apartment. I have tried everything literally and could not get him to cooperate. I would appreciate any suggestions because maybe you can think of something that I haven't tried. I was able to get him out of the apartment this morning to go to my therapy session. It seems that it is easy to get him out of here if it is first thing in the morning before he is engaged in play but once he is into something I can just about forget trying to take him out of the apartment. I hope that this trend will end soon and that I can get him intersted in the reinforcers that I used to use that once worked. Tomorrow we have speech in the morning and OT in the afternoon so I am pretty sure that I can get him out in the morning and once we are out I will just stay out until it is time for OT. I will keep you posted.

Mommy's Feeling Much Better!

I was feeling so bad last week that I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to feel good again, didn't even think that it was possible. After talking with my ANP we had decided that to lower my nighttime meds (Seroquel) by 100 mg. should help me out quite a bit with my excessive daytime sleepiness and after several days it has helped me tremendously!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am very pleased to report that I am feeling much better, refreshed, and my mood is way better than before. No more feeling weird or like I am on drugs, just feeling "normal" with more patience and a happy attitude to boot. Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement they helped me through a rough spot and made life much more bearable for me.
Saturday I got to have some much needed "alone time" and that helped me out as well because Kathleen kept Griffin for me for 7 hours. Thank you so much Kathleen, you were a life saver for me and I don't know what I would have done without you.
On Sunday Griffin was full of energy and did very well all during the day but come evening he was still full of it and had a real hard time settling down. I couldn't get him to cooperate with me in taking Abby out for her evening walk nor could I get him to calm down enough to get sleepy and ready for bed. It seems lately that the melatonin has not been helping much at all so I skipped it and gave him the Clonidine instead. Well, he ended up fighting it pretty hard and he stayed up until almost midnight and my nerves were a wreck. I have got to do some research and find out if I can use more than 5 mg. of the melatonin so that I don't have to give him the Clonidine anymore because I hate giving him drugs. Does anyone know if it is safe to give a 4 year old more than 5 mg. of melatonin? Everyone, have a great and blessed day!

Mommy's not doing so well

Here's Griffin and Pisgah just hangin out together, Griffin is being kind of goofy for the camera. Lately he has been doing fairly well but I on the other hand have been doing , well...........kind of weird. I have been taking my medications for my Bipolar Disorder but they haven't been working that well for me. One of the two meds has been causing me to just feel really really strange. I feel like I am over-medicated. I have been told by numerous individuals that my movements are really really slow and that I talk slow too in fact, I do everything slow and that there is a stiffness about my movement too. I go to see my ANP on Friday the 11th so we shall see what she says about what to do about these darn medications. I have to have the daytime meds to keep my moods stable and I need the nighttime meds to help me to sleep otherwise I will become a manic insomniac who is on a constant roller coaster ride. If I don't have my meds I simply cannot take care of Griffin because I am such a mess. Even with the meds lately with the way I 've been feeling, it is a struggle to take care of him day in and day out now that he is out of school. I get no kind of break whatsoever. My respite provider, Stephanie, has not been available. I am going to call Kathleen and see if she will be able to help me out just for a short while so that I can have a break. The weather is still quite mild with the temperatures in the 60's and we have had quite a bit of rain this summer. We were still able to go to the playground for awhile today and play.

It's That Time of Year Again

I think that most parents could find this most useful in dealing with/navigating the school system not only for special education kiddos but for all other children as well. It is rather long but the information and suggestions are quite invaluable. Perhaps some of it may only apply to NT kiddos and their parents, but I think that it is well worth a read


Strategies for Effective Engagement with School Officials 1. Listen. Tune in to what your child says about the quality of his teachers. Children are often accurate. Schools that serve poor, Latino and Black children have a disproportionate number of unqualified teachers. If your child has unqualified teachers, fight to have his classes or school changed. Your engagement with school officials begins with your child. 2. Praise, honor and support good teachers. Tell and show them how much you appreciate what they are doing for your child. 3. Seek support. Do not suffer in silence. Find other parents who have experienced what you are going through. They may be able to help you resolve your issues. 3. Plan for meetings with school personnel. Never meet with them alone. Bring people, your pastor, friends, and family members. There is strength in numbers. 4. Deliberate. Take a reasonable amount of time to think about any school-related decisions. Do not allow school officials to pressure you into making rash decisions. Confer with family, clergy or parent/child advocates. 5. Attend and participate in school-related activities. Share your opinion.Volunteer. The staff should know you as a concerned and involved parent. When they know and respect you, they are more likely to know and respect your child. Likewise, when your child knows you are involved, he is more likely to behave and perform well. Things You Should Expect from the School System: 1. Request a copy of your child's school records. You have a right to any material in her official file. This is extremely important. You need to know what is being documented about your child - and in some cases what may be said about you, as a parent. Read the contents of the file with your child. 2. Visit your child's class during school hours. Give at least one days notice. You must avoid disruption. You should not attempt to speak with the teacher during this visit. Ask for a tour of the school. Your purpose is to observe the lesson, class and school climate. 3. Schedule appointments to meet with your child's teachers. Do not wait until the bi-annual parent-teacher conferences. Prepare specific questions before the meeting. Meetings may be scheduled for after regular school hours. This may allow for meaningful discussions and fewer interruptions. 4. Volunteer to work in the parent office. Each school should have at least one office dedicated to parents. Parent friendly schools will have Parent Reception or Resource Centers that are accessible during and after the regular school day. 5. Ensure school personnel are able to contact you. It is your responsibility to inform them when your contact information changes.You should not place this responsibility on your child. 6. Meet with appropriate school personnel to deal with concerns.Decide if it is necessary to meet the principal in order to get your matter resolved.Though the principal should be accessible to parents, it may not be possible to meet her immediately. You may expedite the resolution if you target the person who will ultimately be able to help you directly. 7. Attend workshops for parents. Parent friendly schools offer them regularly. These may include: Computer training, reading, writing, math, music, art, and others. 8. Attend school assembly programs that honor children. You may need to take a day or a few hours off from work. Programs may also be held on weekends and evenings. You should attend with your child even if she is not being honored. It may serve as a motivation for you and her while simultaneously showing support for other children and families.
Parents, Know Your Business 1. Meet with your child at the beginning of each school year. Discuss what he is expected to learn in and out of school. 2. Monitor your child's development. Do not rely on school tests to define your child's level of intelligence. Focus on whether he is acquiring life skills? How would he respond to unanticipated occurrences? Do you see and hear him thinking? 3. Seek help for your child through local libraries, community organizations, churches and non-traditional institutions. Consider peer tutoring as an option. It is an overlooked effective strategy. 4. Schedule meaningful activities for your child. These may include family trips to the park, museum, library, neighborhood walks, and volunteering at a local food pantry or shelter. Idle time for an active child is asking for trouble. Keep your child busy. Keep him physically, mentally and culturally engaged. 5. Stay active in your child's life. Children with active parents are less likely to be abused by school personnel. Child predators try to avoid the kind of attention involved parents bring. 6. Train your child to think. This does not happen in traditional schools.They train your child to pass tests. They train your child to conform. The school system discourages differences and independence. Children within dependent spirits generally do not function well in school without involved parents. Children who learn differently are often labeled and neglected. They are punished or despirited by a system that mandates uniformity and conformity. 7. Make certain your child's educational needs are met. Be a squeaky wheel.School officials do not expect you to be persistent. Call, write and visit daily if necessary. If the system labels or harms your child, make them pay for it. Seek legal counsel and take them to court. Charge them with educational neglect, deprivation and malfeasance.
Conclusion A tidal wave begins with a ripple. You serve as a ripple in your child's life. Join with other ripples (including committed and concerned school personnel) and make waves. When parents, community and school personnel are on the same page, working together, children thrive.
Bernard Gassaway is the former principal of Beach Channel High Schooland senior superintendent of alternative schools and programs for NewYork City and homeschool father. August 2006

On the way to swimming

Griffin had his last day of ESY(extended school year) yesterday and now the challenge begins. I must find ways to keep him occupied and keep my sanity too. An example of how tough it can be to keep him occupied and happy in a constructive way would be the example of what happened on Wednesday on the way to swimming. We passed by Best Buy where the week before we had gone in to look at some headphones but ended up buying a dvd for him. So, of course he remembered and instead of wanting to go swimming he all of a sudden wanted to go into the store to get a movie. He had a major meltdown, I had to practically drag him down into the dressing room and it took what seemed like forever for Gayle and me to get him undressed and put his swim diaper on. Gayle finally got him into the pool and he was still crying. I left for awhile to take Abby for a walk and when I returned he seemed to be enjoying himself but not to the fullest because he was still crying off and on. He didn't stop crying until we were headed toward the upstairs of the club and he was all better when we got to the vending machine where he announced that he wanted some Cheetos. I got Griffin the Cheetos and he had already forgotten all about Best Buy and getting a movie. We went home and he was fine for the rest of the day. Next week I am going to take a different route to the pool, one where he cannot see Best Buy on the way there. Whew, what a frustrating day that was! Take care my friends and I hope that all is well with you.