Acceptance of Autism and Support of the Individual

I just love this picture of Griffin with his "pet" penguin all bundled up with a blanket, the cutest part was when he was hugging, snuggling, and kissing it with such care and affection. As time goes on I have found that Griffin becomes more and more affectionate and demonstrates a great deal of imagination and he has developed such a wonderful sense of humor. Griffin loves to tell jokes that he has made up, often times I do not understand what he is saying but of course I play along anyhow eagerly awaiting his burst of laughter that always comes with his "punch line".

Here is the link to the article below that I discovered in my e-mail inbox, I found it to be enlightening and insightful. I always enjoy and take note when I read articles about autism written by an adult with autism. This article is all about acceptance and support of the individual with autism, I hope that when you read this that you end up feeling like your loved one with autism has a great deal to contribute to his/her community in some form or another and gives your life richness and joy just by being himself/herself. I hope that this article is beneficial to you and your family in some small yet significant way.



Ari Ne'eman
President
The Autistic Self Advocacy Network
1101 15th Street, NW Suite 1212
Washington, DC 20005
http://www.autisticadvocacy.org
info@autisticadvocacy.org
732.763.5530

IACC Testimony:

Members of the Committee,

Thank you for this opportunity to give comment on the IACC’s important work. My name is Ari Ne’eman and I am here today in my capacity as the President of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), a volunteer non-profit organization run by and for adults and youth on the autism spectrum. ASAN works to promote the autistic culture movement and other opportunities for individuals on the autism spectrum to interact with each other as well as work to improve the representation of the autistic community in public policy deliberations about autism and disability affairs.

I would like to take this time to reiterate and elaborate upon the comments I made at the last IACC meeting, encouraging this committee to re-orient its research agenda in a fashion that will comply with the perspectives and goals of the community of individuals on the autism spectrum. The first step towards this is to follow up on the appointment of Stephen Shore and add additional autistic representatives to the IACC and its workgroups. The concept of “Nothing About Us, Without Us” is a long time pillar of the disability rights movement and it should be respected in autism policymaking, just as it would be with the drafting of policy aimed at any other minority group.

In addition, we encourage this committee to focus its research towards measures that will improve the opportunities for communication and quality of life for autistic individuals, by funding research into Augmentative and Assistive Communication (AAC) technology, early education and service-delivery methods in areas of employment, independent living, housing and other important spheres for autistic individuals everywhere. I’m concerned by the fact that the autistic people, family members and others who make up ASAN’s international membership continue to face skepticism about the very existence of autistic adults. The media portrays the autism spectrum as something new only existing amongst children. Yet, the adult population continues to lack needed support and awareness. State vocational rehabilitation agencies and other aspects of the developmental disability service-delivery infrastructure are ill-informed about the needs of adults on the spectrum. Furthermore, there is a pressing need for more research on how to best serve both adults and youth on the autism spectrum in fields like educational methodologies, restraint reduction, positive behavioral supports and other areas that take practical steps to improve access, inclusion and respect for our community.

I was diagnosed on the autism spectrum at age 12, and I have been fortunate enough to benefit from a family that has been accepting of my differences and supportive of the educational services that have helped me develop. Unfortunately, not all children on the spectrum are receiving that acceptance and support. The current culture of despair and intolerance promoted by groups like Autism Speaks and Generation Rescue does not contribute to positive outcomes for autistic individuals. Statements that devalue autistic life, like those made unapologetically in the fundraising video Autism Every Day by IACC member and Autism Speaks Executive Vice President Alison Tepper Singer, do not benefit people on the spectrum and contribute to an environment of stigma and fear. Ms. Singer’s comments, where she states she considered driving her daughter off the George Washington Bridge, refraining "only because of…the fact that I have another child," are of great concern, particularly given the murder of an autistic child by her mother a mere four days after her statement. The inaccurate and incomplete picture of the autism spectrum that Autism Speaks has chosen to promote for fundraising purposes contributes to the environment that makes these atrocities possible. That is why the autistic community continues to be concerned by Ms. Singer’s presence on this Committee and the message her selection sends to people on the spectrum, our families and our supporters. You cannot help us by demonizing our neurology and stigmatizing our very existence.

Genetic research promoting a prenatal test for the autism spectrum is also of grave concern. It should be noted that Dr. Joseph Buxbaum, an Autism Speaks-funded researcher, believes that a prenatal test for the autism spectrum could exist as early as 2015 – in fact, genetic testing for some types of the autism spectrum is already available. There is significant evidence that such tests will and are leading to the use of selective abortion to engage in eugenics against the developmentally disabled. It should be noted that approximately 90% of fetuses that test positive for Down Syndrome are aborted. While a prenatal test for the autism spectrum is significantly more complex to develop, once it is in existence the current climate of fear makes a similar result likely. While we do not hold an opinion on the abortion debate in general, we are deeply concerned by any effort to eliminate a particular kind of individual from the gene pool solely on the basis of neurology. Taxpayer funds should not be going to eugenics.

I consider it a grave human rights concern that many autistic individuals continue to be unable to communicate because the assistive communication technology and educational methodology research that could help many more adults and children convey their needs is being ignored in favor of eugenically oriented genetic research aimed at finding a “cure” for a natural and legitimate part of human genetic diversity. The autism spectrum is not a recent epidemic but a neurological condition that has always existed, but is only now being diagnosed at incidence rates that approach accuracy.
The autism spectrum often comes with significant disabilities that require substantial support. However, rather than trying to eliminate us, we can and should be taking steps to mitigate those disabilities while empowering the strengths that we possess and respecting our legitimate place in the spectrum of human diversity. We encourage this Committee to take the first steps towards shifting the main buzzword about autism from “cure” to “communication” and ultimately, to moving the dialogue about the autism spectrum to one of acceptance, inclusion and, above all, respect.

Thank you for your time. As always, “Nothing About Us, Without Us.”

HBO Movie Online

http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/autism/video/

I was so inspired by this movie and greatly appreciated that it featured children from all over the spectrum and didn't focus on what they could not do but instead showed the gifts that each and every one had. I am sure that it took a great deal of hard work to put it all together but I found it to be reassuring and comforting to know that other parents go through the same intense emotions that I do and that we all share the same fears for our children's future.

If you do nothing else today please watch this film to the end and I feel certain that you will have a great big smile on your face and your heart will feel that much bigger and you may end up with a few tears in your eyes. I don't know how long HBO will make this film available online so watch it now and do not hesitate or put it off until another time, films like this simply do not come along often.

Griffin is feeling waaaaay better and has his happy camper smile and laughter going again and I am so very happy. For some reason he woke up at 2:00 a.m. and couldn't or wouldn't go back to sleep. I did my very best to stay awake but the medicine that I take for sleep made it exceptionally difficult to not doze off, I struggled to remain alert and to be aware of what was going on, Griffin always stays in the bedroom with me when he gets up like this and he is constantly attempting to rouse me and get me to wake up enough to carry on conversation with him. I finally got up for good at 5:00 and was able to get Griffin to snuggle with me and we watched the Sprout channel, he kept telling me jokes, and we ate some cereal together. Literally all day long Griffin showed no signs whatsoever of being fatigued and went to sleep tonight at about 8:30. We had a wonderful day even without going outside of the house, it was just a lazy day with lots of laughter and snuggling (which is my all time favorite thing to do with him). I am so very fortunate that he is affectionate and I hope that for us that never changes.

If it doesn't rain this weekend then I plan to take Griffin to the park or parking lot of his school so that he can ride his bike and get some much needed exercise........for both of us. Have a beautiful weekend and don't forget to watch the movie, in fact, watch it with your loved ones and send the link to everyone you know whether they understand autism or not they will get a glimpse into what you experience in your life both alone and with your child and even with your partner/spouse.

NO, NO, NO.........Not Strep AGAIN!

I just found out yesterday that Griffin has strep once again!! I didn't even know that he was sick because he never complained once about his throat or anything else hurting whatsoever. I was taking him to see the doctor because he has sleep apnea and he snores quite loudly seeming to not have quality sleep at all, also he has been having behavior issues at school which I now know is most likely because he was feeling so bad. Just to err on the side of caution, I asked for a referral to a ENT so that we can find out if he is having any problems with his adnoids/tonsils because he has been snoring for around a year or so and his sleep apnea is getting worse with time. It may be that he is going to school tired since he may not be getting quality sleep. Between Griffin having strep and also having ear problems I am beginning to think that if the doctor (ENT) recommends that he have his tonsils or adnoids out that it might be best because I hate for him to keep on taking antibiotics besides, it is nearly impossible to get him to take his meds because it is so challenging to get the medicine in food without him tasting it. Each time that he has gotten a bacterial infection he absolutely refused to take his medicine and he ended up having to get the Rosephin shots which is not a good thing because I don't want him to compromise his immune system and have drug resistant bacteria. I am and never have been a big fan of antibiotics in the first place but I truly doubt that I could get him to take the herbs that I take for infection.

Griffin has been talking a lot more at home but a good bit of it is difficult to understand and something really cool that he has been doing is that he loves to tell jokes that he has made up all on his own. Often he will start laughing before he gets out his punch line........he is so adorable. Lately I have noticed that Griffin is using words to describe how he feels and he is using the words appropriately to express himself which is quite significant for him. Even though he is having behavior issues at school he has been doing pretty well at home and out in public with only a few meltdowns per month.........what a great relief!

My sweet and loving little guy still wants a kitty because he misses our kitty that we had in Alaska "Pisgah" who now lives with my dear friend who still resides there. Almost daily he asks if we can go to the animal shelter to get a kitty and it breaks my heart to have to tell him that we cannot (because my dad won't allow it) but that maybe in the future we can do that. He is such an affectionate little guy and I count my blessings each and everyday.

Have a great day everyone!

OMG, I Had Such An Awesome Time But.........

Just a quick entry to let everyone know that I had an awesome time in Seattle with my very special friends but at the same time I am absolutely elated that I am back home with my special little guy who I missed tremendously.

Everything is going well although Griffin said his ear is popping and I just hope that it doesn't mean that he is about to have another ear infection. He was exceptionally mellow yesterday during speech and OT and also this morning so I am concerned that he is not feeling well.

I haven't transferred the pics from my trip yet but as soon as I do I will post them so you can see a bit of what we did and see how much fun we were having.

I will write again soon, I hope that you all are doing well and having a great day!

Off To See Queensryche Live In Concert!!!!!!!!

I am so excited about going to see my dear friends and going to see Queensryche in concert and the brunch that we are attending the day of the concert where we get to see the band and schmooze with them for a few hours getting pictures and autographs too. I am going to attempt to talk to Geoff Tate the lead singer, about considering doing a concert or some kind of charity event for autism. I am going to the brunch prepared with a few relevant facts so that I can say a lot in a short period of time. Wish me luck on that one.

I will be traveling all across the country, about 3000.00 miles just to get to where I am going no matter how long the flight it will NOT be nearly as bad as the trip from Alaska was. I am going to miss my precious little guy, life will NOT be as wonderful and filled with his smiles and laughter each day.................don't know how I will handle it myself but I am trying to be positive about it all. I will surely miss his infectious laugh and contagious smile each day but for me to do this is a really big thing since it is for my pleasure and I do feel guilty for leaving him. This is the only time that I have taken a trip all on my own without it being "necessary" such as the trip to Alaska for the trial. Mom and dad have both given me their blessings for going and let me know that they are both doing perfectly fine.........healthwise, and that it will not be a problem for either of them. I would not even consider going if not for their blessings and reassurance that all is well with them and that Griffin will be cared for with no difficulties. Mom is a very strong woman who loves Griffin dearly and she does far better with him during meltdowns and she can talk him out of any given situation and get him to listen to her every time. It is that "Nana" magic I guess.

If mom or dad feels that I need to come back they have let me know in no uncertain terms that they will call me immediately to let me know that I need to come home. They both are confident that that will not be the case at all so I will leave with the trust and respect of their judgment and sound decisions as adults with sound minds to make such choices for themselves and for Griffin.

Love you guys, you know who you are.....my special friends. Hugs to you and yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please keep me in your thoughts and send lots of positive vibes my way so that I can fully enjoy my trip. I could sure use your support in this matter. Also keep Griffin, mom, and dad in your thoughts and send them positive vibes too...............especially Griffin because this change may well effect him and cause him to have meltdowns and I certainly do not want him to feel lost without me. I will be calling him several times a day to let him know how long I will be gone, mom can help him to mark off the days on the calender, and let him know how much I love him.

Please feel free to leave your comments, questions, and advice concerning this trip but I am leaving on the 26th so I need to hear from you right away. Thanks for all of you who are so near and dear to my heart, those of you who have mine and Griffin's best interest in mind and who also have us in your heart. Hugs to my special friends from both of us.

It's a Beautiful Day

I tried several times to upload an image to this entry but for some reason it is not working properly, this is the first time that it has ever happened so I don't know how to fix it.

Griffin is doing great and getting back into his usual routine, there's been no whining and he has learned to be nice and use his manners in order to get what he wants. I am so happy that it seems to be wearing off and he is improving how he copes with uncomfortable situations. I am still going to make an appointment with the child behavior expert for future reference so if it or some other behavior rears its ugly head then I will be prepared and have the tools that I need to deal with it.

Griffin is doing what he did in Anchorage during the winter, he is wanting to stay inside all day and it is still difficult to get him out of the house to go play, to go shopping, or just to go for a walk. It is very isolating and it concerns me that he is not motivated to do something different. I must confess that I have been guilty of isolating myself especially during the wintertime in Alaska due to weather conditions and the degree of difficulty in dealing with how much trouble it was to get dressed and clean off the car and ultimately dealing with driving in dangerous conditions. Since being in the south I have not isolated myself and I usually make great effort to get Griffin active and at least going for a ride in the car for awhile, I love driving my Volvo and it is so nice to get out of the house for awhile.

Today and for the past few days, the weather is sunny and warm (in the 60's) and it is just perfect for going to the playground so that is my goal for the day...............to go run, swing, and play and maybe feeding the ducks and geese.

I have been taking a new medicine for Fibromyalgia and it has helped me to have much more energy but I still have quite a bit of pain, can't remember if I have mentioned that or not so sorry if I am repeating myself. I will ask my doctor if we can increase the dosage a bit to see if it helps me more.

Have a wonderful day!

Whining and Not Being a Good Listener

Griffin is having a hard time today and I cannot get him out of the house to go out to play. I have been getting frustrated with him because he is being so whiny and it is driving me nuts! So he isn't just throwing tantrums but also putting on the tears and yelling at me and giving me orders. I have tried every approach that I know and nothing is working. I have tried the time out approach, being firm and taking away his toys and computer time, being gentle and explaining things to him and giving him a time limit before it is time to go and NONE of these worked. I am at my wits end and sure could use some support, some suggestions at this point in time.

I have even offered to take him to one of his favorite stores just to look around and he said yes once but after that it didn't interest him at all. Please help with any suggestions you might have. I am so very eager to speak to the child behavior expert soon so that I can learn some techniques other than what I have tried.

I woke up at 3:00, 5:00, and at 6:00 this morning and I cannot figure out why I keep waking up. There are times when I get up and eat or do something and when I wake in the morning I find things open or moved that I do not remember doing at all! I once woke up and left the water running in the sink.....thank goodness the drain was open so it didn't get all over the floor. My therapist tells me that it is quite common amongst PTSD survivors to not be aware of what they are doing in the middle of the night, she told me that it has to do with the disassociation that the survivors experience during waking and sleeping hours. All I know is that I have got to stop eating late into the night or I am going to have to buy a whole bunch of new pants.

Ta ta for now, don't forget to laugh whenever the opportunity presents itself!

I Almost Lost My Child Today

I have never been so scared as I was today during Griffin's swimming session, I actually saw my child struggling for his life after he wandered from his OT and ended up in the deep water. I was terrified as I watched his head go under the water as he desperately tried to keep it up. His OT was searching for some toys to play with at the edge of the pool and had instructed Griffin to stay by her side but instead he walked to the deep water without her noticing and I didn't see him until it was nearly too late for him. I stood up and went to the edge of the pool while the OT was trying to visually locate him but she couldn't see him because his head was underwater. I got her attention and pointed to where he was and she immediately went to rescue him. What really pisses me off is that the lifeguard did nothing even though he was right there in front of her. I later complained to the CEO of the YMCA and he said that he would look into the matter.

After we had gotten home I received a call from the supervisor of aquatics and she told me that the lifeguard had done nothing wrong and that she was watching Griffin as he was submerged and struggling for his life of course she didn't admit that the lifeguard could have gone into the pool after him as soon as she saw him go underwater. I almost dove into the water myself as it seemed to me that nobody was doing anything to help him. The supervisor had said that the lifeguard knew that the OT had been helping Griffin work on going underwater so she didn't panic.............What the hell? I responded by reminding them that Griffin was working on that WITH his OT present and not by himself..............Boy did that ever piss me off!!!!!!!!!!! I reminded them that he is only 6 years old and not able to swim on his own and that was the very reason for him to have an OT in the first frickin place!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the reasons that it is so scary for me is that Griffin has no fear of anything and that is the very reason that he wandered off into the deep water and still after the incident he was laughing and smiling through the whole thing. I do not believe that he learned anything from it at all. I most certainly did, that is for sure!!!!!! I will be watching him like a hawk from now on. I know that his OT was scared as well and that it will not happen again. I just wish that the lifeguard and her supervisor had been more responsible and admitted that there could have been something done to help him, I no longer trust them to dive in and help him so I guess that I will have only myself to do something about helping him.

It reminds me of how well I have to watch him around cars because he simply has no fear of traffic and all the dangers of being around cars in parking lots and otherwise. This is why I have a handicapped placard in our car so that I can park close to the stores with less chances of spending much time around the vehicles and less chance of him running off and getting away from me. If your child is a runner then I highly recommend that you get a placard because it does help to manage how much your child exposed to vehicles and it simply just makes more sense.

I went to Griffin's Valentine's party at school and I enjoyed walking around and taking pictures of the children as they sat and ate their goodies and talked to me. Griffin was so happy to see me and he kept acknowledging me and giving me hugs and kisses. I have some pictures that I took that I want to put on the blog but it is getting very late and I must go to bed. There are some great pictures of Griffin that I would love for you to see but it is just going to have to wait until later. Come back soon to visit so that you can see the awesome pictures that I will have posted.

Griffin's Behavior

Griffin came home with a report from his teacher that he was being rude to his peers and stomping and whining all day. I believe that he is still upset about the changes in his routine and because mom and dad are not at home still. I am trying to find a child psychologist or behavior expert so that we can nip this in the bud.

My dad may be home today which would be great so that Griffin can get back into his usual routine and he won't be missing his Nana anymore. He has been having a really hard time with transitions and has a meltdown when we are going anywhere other than home, he even has meltdowns when we go to his favorite places to eat such as McDonald's or Wendy's. I have been trying to help him by explaining things to him but it was all in vain.

Griffin has been really bossy at home and demanding so I am constantly reminding him of his manners and trying to help him ask for what he wants rather than him telling me what to do. It is strange for me now to not have help from my mom in dealing with his undesirable behaviors, it's as if we were back in Anchorage again. It is a reminder for me that I appreciate all the help that I have been getting from my mom since we have lived here. Griffin is too big now to manage so it is only possible to talk to him and it is not possible to pick him up off the floor as he is having a meltdown anymore so I must use my noggin more than ever before in helping him to manage and regulate himself in any given situation.

Time to go to the hospital and see what's going on with my dad, I sure do hope that he gets to come home today for several reasons but it will be nice for mom to be home too because it will really help Griffin regulate his life/actions/and words.

Since I last wrote Griffin has improved significantly and was actually able to go to swimming on the 7th and did an awesome job at being a good listener. He put his face underwater and didn't come up coughing so that was a new milepost for him as far as swimming goes. He had to get 2 shots of Rosephen and was a brave little trooper, he had no fear when we pulled up to the doctor's office because he was focused on watching the local PBS TV station (ETV) and he didn't start to cry until we had to hold him down to get his injection. Soon after the shot he had stopped crying and went on with other things and seemed fine. That is until we got to the school, he became very upset and had a meltdown, his teacher had to come outside the school and get Griffin to go inside............and he did without crying or struggling. I believe that a lot of the reasons for him having meltdowns lately is because he is not in his regular routine and because he wasn't feeling well, he has made a great improvement and has coped with the changes exceptionally well considering all the circumstances.

My dad is doing way better than before, he is eating solid foods, moving around a bit, and speaking much more clearly. I am trying out a new medication (Lyrica) for my fibromyalgia and so far it seems to be helping a lot with the fatigue and with the pain I have all over my body.

I am trying to help Griffin find some semblance of order and routine in his day(s) by letting him stay home for quite awhile so that he can enjoy his down time activities. I will take him to the playground/park to play for awhile since it is so warm and sunny outside even though he is complacent with staying inside right now. I have been cleaning all day and he has been really laid back and happy with what's going on now, I will have to use the McDonald's card in order to get him out of the house because all the other suggestions are not working with him right now.

Hope that you all are well and having a great weekend. Thanks for stopping by to find out what's going on with us, feel free to leave me a comment to let me know that you care for us, it makes me happy to see comments in my inbox.............something to look forward to each day.

Things Are Going Much Better Today

I only have a little while to let you know what's going on with everyone. They took the tube out and my dad is breathing on his own and he still has a great deal of infection and is trying to cough it up, his breathing is labored but at least he is doing it on his own. While I was there today he did open his eyes a few times but it seemed that he wasn't able to focus on our faces, he was just staring out into space. They also took him off of most of the pain meds which I do not understand because he has peripheral neuropathy and as a result has excruciating pain in his feet all the time.

We got a portable cd player and put earphones on him playing his favorite cd's and I am not sure if he enjoys it or not but perhaps he does, it's worth a try. Griffin is doing better today because he went to the doctor yesterday and got a shot of Rosephen and needs to take 5 more days of oral antibiotics because after all this time he still has infection in his ears and congestion in his chest. I let him sleep in this morning because he really needed to rest to help his body heal. He got an award today at school for most improved in science and social studies!!!!! We are all so very proud of him.

I need to go so I can get him to speech and OT so I will try to write again tonight to let you all know how my dad is doing and what's going on with Griffin and me.

A Really Rough Weekend

I am so totally exhausted and so is Griffin because we spent the whole weekend at the hospital where my dad is in CCU (cardiac care unit) he has staph in his whole body but worse in his kidneys, lungs, and his heart. They have rendered him unconscious and intubated him because he wasn't breathing on his own for a couple of days but apparently he is doing better today so they may take the tube out and see if he can breathe on his own.

Griffin has not handled the major changes in the past few days for several reasons but primarily because he is still quite sick and his tolerance is very low. I called the doctor on call but they told me to wait until tomorrow to bring him in to his regular doctor, I didn't agree but who else am I to call? Even though we were there at the hospital I didn't feel like making him sit in the waiting room in the ER to see a doctor and be exposed to even more sickness and germs.

I asked the nurse about exposure to the staph but she didn't give me much information so I am going to strongly encourage Griffin's doctor to draw some blood and make sure that he doesn't have it as well. My dad has been very sick for weeks because he refused to go to the doctor and in that time I do not remember what kind of close contact they have had so I am very concerned. My mom is still very sick and has been for a couple of weeks so I am worried about her too, she has been coughing up blood but will not leave my father's side. I understand why she won't leave my dad because if it were my child I would be the same way that my mom is with my dad. They have been together 45 years and that is quite the strong bond. My mom is a very nurturing mother and wife, she loves to bake treats for the people in her everyday life such as the staff at the pharmacy or her doctor and others who help her in sometimes just small ways. They say that people forget what you say and how you act but what leaves the most lasting impression is how you made them feel and mom makes people feel warm and fuzzy because she is such a giving person. I just hope that my dad gets come home soon so that we all can rest easy and get some semblance of order back in our lives. My dad and I are really close and I am having a hard time processing all this.

Tonight, I had to buy a brand new DVD player for Griffin because his old one broke and boy did that ever set off a meltdown. He loves that thing so much and it is a big part of his free time activities so it is worth the cost. I can return the old one because I got an extended warranty with it.

I am so glad that we are at home where it is nice and quiet and will get to sleep in our own beds. Griffin really missed my mom tonight at bed time because she usually snuggles with him too, he told her over the phone that he missed her and loved her and that she needs to come to the bed to snuggle with him. He didn't understand that she was not going to be here even though I explained it to him. We will be so glad when they are back home.

I will keep you updated, got to get Griffin to bed where we will snuggle and zonk out!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD GRIFFIN!

I took Griffin to school this morning and on the way there he kept asking me to stay home and wrap presents, I felt kind of bad for him although I believe that being at school is the best outlet for him because he has been so bored at home. By the time we actually got into the school and walked to his classroom he was fine and had a great big smile on his face.

I will write again later and add some new pics for his birthday to let you know how it went and if he goes to swimming or not. For the record and for future reference I want Griffin to know that this is and has been for 6 years the most wonderful day of my entire life, the day he was born. Thank you Griffin for being in my life and making it rich and so full of joy. Thank you for teaching me something new each day and for bringing laughter into my life like nothing else has ever done for me. You are and always will be my most favorite guy in the whole universe! I love you, my little "Pumpkin Pie".

Griffin Is Still Sick But Doing Much Better Today

Here is a picture of my little happy camper before he got really really sick. I took Griffin to the doctor last Friday and found out that he had a double ear infection along with a terrible cough and a runny nose. The doctor prescribed antibiotics (Omnicef) which I have had to open up the capsule and try to hide it in some food (ice cream & chocolate syrup) once a day and today he is finally starting to feel better. The reason that I didn't take him to the doctor sooner is because he didn't complain until the pain got so severe that he apparently couldn't stand it anymore. Griffin has such a high tolerance to pain he won't let me know until he is just miserable. For several days he didn't even want to leave the house which is highly unusual for him but he did get some much needed rest to help him heal faster. Finally yesterday he asked to go to McDonalds for a Happy Meal and with lots of encouragement he did finish most of his food. I was just glad that he was feeling well enough to leave the house.

I picked up some homework from his teacher yesterday and when I showed Griffin he was happy about it, he loves to do homework. This morning his nose isn't running and he is not coughing nearly as much as yesterday and his eye is doing better, I had thought that he had pink eye yesterday morning and got some drops for it but today he didn't wake up with a crusty eye so maybe it wasn't pink eye or the one application of drops made a difference. The doctor told me that after the first application of drops (24 hours later) he will be able to be exposed to others and not be contagious anymore.

Tomorrow is Griffin's big 6th birthday! I had wanted to arrange a party for him but since he and my mom are both sick I guess that his birthday celebration will be postponed until a later date. I will be so happy if he is even better tomorrow so that he can go to school and go swimming tomorrow afternoon. Griffin seems to grasp the concept of what his birthday means and that he will get presents and that he will be 6 years old so that is cool. I bought cake mix, sprinkles, and candy letters so that he can decorate his own cake either this afternoon or tomorrow, I will take some pictures of his masterpiece (baking and decorating project).

I just remembered that Griffin was supposed to have his evaluation at school to determine where he really is academically and otherwise behaviorally and socially but he has missed it since he cannot attend school right now. I guess that I will call and re-schedule it. even though he has missed school, he has maintained a mellow and affectionate disposition and has done well not to over exert himself which is great because to me that means that he is aware that his body needs rest and mellow/low key activities.

I will update the blog tomorrow and let you know how well Griffin is doing and whether or not he gets to go to school and to swimming. Hope that everyone has a wonderful day!

Let Me Know What You Think About This Article

Hopkins Team Identifies Autism Susceptibility Gene

WEBWIRE – Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Researchers at Johns Hopkins have identified a common genetic alteration that appears to be associated with autism only when inherited by sons from their mother. The CNTNAP2 gene, also identified by two other groups publishing jointly in the January issue of The American Journal of Human Genetics, is one of the strongest common genetic links to autism susceptibility found to date.

“While there probably are other, yet unidentified gene variants that also contribute to autism susceptibility, our data clearly show that CNTNAP2 is associated with an increased risk and an excellent entry into further study for understanding autism,” says Aravinda Chakravarti, Ph.D., professor of medicine, pediatrics and molecular biology and genetics and member of the McKusick-Nathans Institute of Genetic Medicine at Hopkins.

Using samples collected by the National Institute of Mental Health Autism Genetics Initiative, the Hopkins team analyzed genetic material from 72 families, each having two or three affected children who were diagnosed before 36 months of age by the most stringent clinical classification of autism disorder.

“We initially limited ourselves to the samples with the strictest definition of autism to minimize any heterogeneity, hoping that if the effects were subtle, they would still stand out,” says Dan Arking, Ph.D., an assistant professor at the McKusick-Nathans Institute. “Using a broader definition of autism, we were then able to replicate the initial finding in one of the largest-ever group of autism samples.”

Autism spectrum disorder includes a set of poorly understood developmental disorders that vary in severity and symptoms, but all include impaired social interaction and language development and restricted and repetitive behavior and interests.

The Hopkins team focused on one region on chromosome 7 that previously had been flagged as a possible link to faulty language acquisition in autism families.

Using genome-wide analysis, the team first analyzed DNA from 292 individuals, including 148 affected offspring. They compared single nucleotide polymorphisms, or SNPs, the differences in single chemical’s building blocks of the DNA at the same point across many people. They found that autistic individuals tend to inherit the DNA letter T from their parents much more often than expected by chance at one particular place on the chromosome.

To validate their finding, the team then repeated their approach with a separate group of samples consisting of 1,295 parent-child trios. They again found an overrepresentation of T, confirming that inheritance of the T genetic variant is associated with increased risk of developing autism.

The T genetic variant is found in the middle of the CNTNAP2 gene, short for contactin-associated protein-like 2, which codes for a protein that’s thought to mediate cell communication in the nervous system.

The researchers then looked at the same data to see if there were differences in which parent the T allele is inherited from and the gender of the child. They found that autistic individuals are more likely to get the T allele from mothers than fathers, and more likely to be boys than girls.

“We know that boys are four times as likely as girls to be autistic,” says Chakravarti. “And now we have some intriguing evidence suggesting that the gene may show a parent-of-origin effect.”

The research was funded by the National Institutes of Health.

Authors on the paper are Dan Arking, David Cutler, Tanya Teslovich, Kristen West, Morna Ikeda, Alexis Rea, Moltu Guy, Shin Lin and Chakravarti of Hopkins, and Camille Brune and Edwin Cook Jr. of the Institute for Juvenile Research at the University of Illinois, Chicago.

On the Web:

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/geneticmedicine/About/index.html

http://www.ajhg.org/

Griffin's Artwork and How I am Doing Today

Here is a picture of Griffin's artwork and it's of his current most favorite character Spongebob. I think that it is a pretty good likeness of him, goodness knows that he should know all the details since he sees it all the time and owns practically everything Spongebob. Anyhow, he seems to be quite proud of himself and his picture. The other pic is Griffin on the playground schmoozing up to the camera........again.

I had to go to Urgent Care yesterday due to the pain that had spread all over my lower back and down into my hips. I waited 3 hours but it was okay I guess because everyone was so very nice to me. I was very impressed by the staff and especially the doctor himself......he was a very laid back and casual sort of guy. He prescribed me some new meds to try and apparently by the way I feel today, they are working wonderfully. I guess that part of it is that I probably passed the stones because it seems like the most logical scenario. We do know for sure that there was blood and bacteria present so he gave me meds for that and valium to help me and my muscles relax and try to help the pain.

Regardless of the time I had to wait I was impressed with the level of care and kindness that I had the opportunity to experience there. Anyhow, I am moving freely today and I hope to take Griffin to the playground and to the arcade later this evening.

Hugs to all of you, thanks for your comments and showing me that you care

He Is Such A Cutie Pie, Can't Help But To Love Him

I love this gorgeous little guy so much I can hardly stand it! No matter what kind of mood I am in he always makes me smile, even when I feel grumpy like I have for the past few days. I just went to the doctor with pain in my lower right side of my back and it was so severe that it felt just like my labor pains. The doctor thinks that it is kidney stones so I am going to have some images made on Friday morning at the hospital and I sure hope that they can tell what is going on because no matter what position I am in I am in excruciating pain and nothing brings relief. The kicker is that I cannot take any kind of pain killers or Ibuprofen because they make me horribly manic so I have to tough it out until they find out what's going on. Wish me luck and that I have a speedy recovery, I could use all the luck in the world right now. If I do not post again soon you will know what is going on with me. Lots of love to all my friends and hugs too.

PLEASE READ: This is so disturbing but we must be aware of this stark reality

Mom Confesses She Killed Autistic Child

2 days ago

PEKIN, Ill. (AP) — A woman accused of killing her autistic daughter testified Friday that she attempted to suffocate the 3-year-old with a pillow three days before she succeeded with a plastic garbage bag.

Karen McCarron said she couldn't go through with it using the pillow. When prosecutor Kevin Johnson asked her how long she held the bag over the toddler's head soon after, she replied about two minutes — until little Katie stopped struggling.

In a videotaped confession played in court Thursday, McCarron said she began having thoughts of hurting her daughter a year before the May 2006 slaying but put them out of her mind. On the day of the killing, though, the thoughts were stronger than ever.

"They were so intense," McCarron said.

McCarron, 39, has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to murder, obstructing justice and concealment of a homicidal death. She was found mentally fit to stand trial, but a medical expert hired by her attorneys has said she was insane at the time of the killing.

The trial resumes Monday.

McCarron, a former pathologist, testified she felt responsible for Katie's autism because she allowed the child to get vaccinated.

It "brought me a great deal of guilt," she said.

McCarron told investigators in the confession taped two days after Katie was killed that she wrapped the white plastic bag around the child's head as Katie played with toys on the floor at the home of McCarron's mother in Peoria.

The child had scratch marks on her head and bite marks were found inside her mouth and on the bag as she apparently tried to free herself, according to other testimony.

The confession was taped while McCarron was hospitalized after attempting suicide, investigators said. Wearing a hospital gown, she appears sitting on a bed next to her husband, Paul McCarron.

Karen McCarron said she killed her child hoping to "fix her" and give her peace in heaven.

"Maybe I could fix her this way, and in heaven she would be complete," she said on the tape.

Karen McCarron said on the videotape that she took her daughter's body back to her own house and put her in bed. She then went to the store, bought ice cream and returned to her mother's home to get the garbage bag because, "if things get bad, their house would be searched."

Interviewers asked McCarron if she knew what she did was criminally wrong.

"I have enough education to know that," she answered.

McCarron told police she felt like a failure because of the child's autism and was sad and hurt because the child couldn't interact with her very well.

"I loved Katie very much, but I hated the autism so, so much," McCarron said. "I hated what it was doing to her. ... I just wanted autism out of my life."

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Copyright © 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.


For more stories about this horrid and all too common, sickening situation please take a moment to read and practice awareness and not turn a blind eye to what's really going on around us. I believe that autistic individuals are a blessing in so many ways and I do not understand how people are so mentally ill and do not reach out for help to avoid murdering a totally innocent child/adult just because of the autism and their lack of love and understanding for them. I count my blessings every moment of the day for being so privileged to be Griffin's mother, he has taught me so many things in my life, far more than I have taught him.

Griffin's Re-eval Meeting

As you can see here, Griffin is quite the ham when it comes to taking pictures, he lights up and shows his inner beauty and his happy little self beaming with glee.

Yesterday I attended a meeting about Griffin's progress and his re-evaluation which is held every three years and my oh my how he has changed. His teacher and speech path. had nothing but positive things to report and they are excited about his progress just in the past year. With the help of the SC Autism Society's advocate we all decided to increase the time that he spends with the kindergarten class (regular ed.) while they are working on math skills. I believe that because he is so high functioning that it is best to increase his inclusion time so that he will have the opportunity to polish up his socialization skills and his communication skills as well. The math part is going to be the easiest task since he has surpassed their grade level. His teacher believes that he is ready to sit in a classroom with a lot of structure and that he is capable of keeping still and organized during this period. I am so excited for him because I feel that he is just going to take off and make progress by leaps and bounds. It was a relatively short meeting because there were no issues to address, his behavior has improved markedly and he is compliant, following the rules, and being a good listener. Griffin simply loves to learn and he is still more than willing to do his homework each evening...........sometimes even asking to do it before he is even reminded.

At home Griffin's behavior has changed as well and his happy and mellow attitude is so refreshing because a year ago around this time he was still struggling with meltdowns because he was just getting used to his new environment and all new people in his life. Now Griffin is so settled and comfortable with everything around him and believe me I am so very grateful for all that he is and what he has become. Fortunately, Griffin still likes to snuggle and show affection and I sure do hope that he never loses that because it brings so much joy to my life. Griffin is showing a stronger desire to do things independently and he seems quite proud of his accomplishments too.

I got a new computer and I am so happy! Griffin is using my old computer and he loves it, his old computer was just that.........OLD! Now he can use a nicer one and play his pbskids.org games and visit his favorite show's web sites such as Nickelodeon, Sprout and so on. Well, I am going to play with my new computer and see what it can do and then maybe send out some e-mail. Hope that everyone is having a wonderful day and that you all find some joy in living for today.

No Resolutions Here

I simply do not make resolutions each year because I believe that one is only fooling oneself to think that they are going to stick, in a word..........resolutions only set us up for disappointment. Don't get me wrong, I believe that it is healthy and helpful to have aspirations and hopes of becoming or doing something that is healthy and beneficial to one's own self but within reason and no so lofty. An example is that each year I aspire to be a better mommy than I was the previous year, to learn more by listening to Griffin, and to live a healthier lifestyle than ever before and for the most part I have been able to do all these things in moderation of course, I am certainly not going to win any awards for these changes that I have made and by no means will I be proclaimed to be mommy of the year, that's for sure. Each day (not year) I wish to become more productive and creative and to always be grateful for everything in my life because all of it serves a purpose whether it is minute or tremendous, it all has a significant place in the whole scheme of things.

With that said, I shall move on and get Griffin out of the house for awhile and let him play on the playground for a bit while the weather is nice. I hope for all of you to continue with your hopes and aspirations not just for the year but day by day, moment by moment in moderation and with love for thyself. I wish for you to be surrounded by love and that you receive plenty of affection from those you care for the most. May you see yourself in the eyes of a stranger and not judge them by their appearances but instead find love within your heart to understand their point of view. I know that I am certainly going to work on these things myself day by day I wish to be a loving human being for all of humankind.

Griffin Is Making Great Progress Each And Every Day

As you can see Griffin is having a great time sharing with his cousin, he has come such a long way since last year when he came into contact with her, he would not share or have positive interactions with her. Now he is not only playing with her but he is exchanging conversation tidbits with her. She is 3 years old so her language is somewhat limited but they seemed to do well together in spite of having short exchanges in communication. Every little bit is such great progress in my mind, it thrills me to see him show interest in carrying on with another child.

My sister and her family came to visit from North Carolina most of the day and it was a really good visit, it is always nice to see them. Last weekend my mom, Griffin, and I went to see my nephew wrestle, he is in high school, and I was amazed with how well Griffin handled being in the loud gymnasium. Griffin just sat there with his headphones on while he watched a DVD occasionally climbing on the bleachers. Later we went to eat and he sat there so nicely and ate pizza (his absolute favorite) so I think that he had a pretty good day all in all. I just love watching my little boy mature and become more aware of the people around him and engaging in conversation so much better than he was a year ago.

There's not much else to report except that Griffin is having a great winter break so far, we are going to the playground regularly and to feed the ducks and geese which he loves. I hope to post again before the new year but just in case I don't get around to it then I would like to wish everyone a perfectly wonderful and Happy New Year, may you all be safe and feel loved as we transition into 2008. Lots of love and hugs to all of you!

This Time Last Year In Anchorage

My oh my how things have changed in just one year, here is a picture of Griffin at our apartment in Anchorage about a year ago..........look at all the beautiful snow. Griffin was never a huge fan of snow partly because he wouldn't leave his mittens on his hands so they of course got quite cold and I suppose that it would have been more fun if we could have made a snowman but the snow was always too powdery/dry for that. Powdery snow is good for driving, shoveling, and it is more beautiful than slushy snow but it just doesn't work for creating masterpieces, not unless some water was added by some means. The snow sculptures that we had downtown worked out wonderfully but I swear that they must have used some kind of means to keep them together. This time last year (winter of 2006) we were in Anchorage until December 2nd and then moved to S.C. and Griffin took quite awhile to make the transition but has come a long way since then. There are a couple of things that Griffin misses in Anchorage, first he misses his kitty "Pisgah" and asks for him almost every single day and he doesn't understand why we cannot have a kitty (because my dad said that it would shed everywhere, like he would have to be the one to clean it all up..............right dad!). It makes me sad that he cannot have a cat here and I often entertain the idea of going to the shelter to pet the kitties but I am concerned that it might bring on a meltdown if he is teased into thinking that he might get to take one home. What do you guys think? The other one that he seems to miss is Kathleen, he loves to look at the photo album and the pictures of them together in the classroom.

Gone are the days of thinking about snow and worrying about sub-zero temps and looming darkness throughout the winter. It is so nice to be able to have more freedom of movement and regular day/night hours in a 24 hour period.

Griffin has been eating really well the past few weeks, granted it is still the same foods over and over, but nonetheless he is still eating more food more frequently. He isn't getting fat by any means but I suppose that he is going through a growth spurt and getting taller.

It is time to get up from here and do something else, I will do my best to write more often and keep you updated on what's going on here. I hope that you all are enjoying this winter break and I hope that the kids are not bouncing off the walls, so far Griffin is doing fine but it has only been a couple of days so far. I wish for you all to be surrounded by those you love and feel pure joy in your everyday life. If you want to check out what we were doing this time last year here is the link.

Hugs to all of you!

My Favorite Picture

This is my new favorite most recent photo of Griffin, it really captures his personality which is practically perpetual smiling and laughing. There's not much to add right now, we are doing very well and life is good/running smoothly.

Griffin is reading at second grade level without hesitation and that is such wonderful news. I spoke with his speech path. and she told me that she is helping to improve his social skills and conversation with his peers, he is showing great progress in this area. I will know more about what he's been doing in school when we meet next Thursday to set some new goals for him. I observed Griffin in his session with his private speech path. and he did a great job reading a book and answering questions about what he had just read. He also read the "I Spy" book and really seemed to enjoy finding the objects in the pictures.

I hope for you my friends that you are having a stress free holiday season, this is the key to enjoying life in general as I see it. It is time to go pick up my gorgeous little guy from school, have a wonderful weekend.............Hugs to you all!

My Perspective Of The "Holidays"

Here is a picture of Griffin in his swimming therapy which is on Thursdays, he is still doing really great with it and seems to thoroughly enjoy his time in the pool.

I suppose that most of you are gearing up for the holidays, I am not however because I am agnostic so it will just be another day for me although I do allow Griffin to enjoy this time of year because he is a child and I believe that when he gets older he can decide what he wants to do with his spirituality and religious choices. I am not offended by religious holidays since I am a spiritual being it's just that it is really something that is very private for me and personal. I am offended by how commercialized Christmas and major holidays have become and I am a bit of a rebel when it comes to spending money on "stuff" for any given holiday just because society supports these celebrations sometimes spending such a great deal of money that it leaves them in the red for the rest of the year. Holidays, especially Christmas, can and does create a great deal of stress for family members, friends, and partners/spouses alike and I just believe that it is far better to give a gift from the heart for no particular reason throughout the year to show that you really care and that you are truly a thoughtful and generous human being.

Even though I tell everyone to not get presents for me I do give them permission to buy stuff for my little guy, this will only be his second Christmas celebration and I think that he is getting to the point of understanding what it is all about as far as the exchanging of gifts. I got him a really special gift which I am certain that he will enjoy, it is the V-Flash (by V-Tech) with 2 cds to go with it, one is Shrek and the other is Spongebob...........he is going to be so thrilled to have this item and I can't wait for him to use it. I believe that it will be challenging for him therefore it will hold his attention longer and at the same time it will be educational.

I have spoken to Griffin's teacher about doing ABA at home and she said that she believes that it will be too much for him and I agree. The thought had entered my mind as a friend of mine is doing it for her child but her child is not as high functioning as Griffin. A very dear friend of mine who has worked with Griffin since he was little bitty told me that Griffin needs down time when he is at home and that is why we have not done it in the past and now that I think of it, I am sure that it is still true. Griffin loves doing his homework and I am just going to leave it at that.

I hope that you guys are all doing well, I hope to receive comments from you or to get an e-mail as I will do my best to keep you updated on what is going on with us. Lots of hugs to you, my dear friends!

Urgent Lead Alert, Have You Got A Weighted "Lead" Blanket For Your Child?

From AutismOne.org

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

URGENT - LEAD ALERT
IF YOU HAVE PURCHASED OR RECEIVED A WEIGHTED OR LEAD BLANKET FOR YOUR CHILD YOU MUST READ THIS

Parent Lois Smith, whose daughter was poisoned previously by an alleged “therapy” vest – which turned out to be a lead dental vest treated with antimony – has given us the following information of great concern.

On October 18, Lois was talking to a doctor at a hospital in Chicago about flame retardant and applications to medical devices. She followed up with calls to dental vest distributors to ask about flame retardant being used on a vest with foam backing. This led to Lois being led to the only company anyone knew of that made dental shielding vests with a foam backing (the type of vest that poisoned her daughter) Shielding International of Madras, Oregon. The woman who answered the phone asked why Lois wanted this information. Lois told her that she had a 5-year old daughter who had been diagnosed as autistic and, before Lois could continue, the woman said, “Oh, you have an autistic, then you want a leaded blanket.” Lois replied, “No, ma’am, I do not want a leaded blanket. You actually sell autistic children leaded blankets?” To which the woman replied, “Yep, for that weighted therapy.” Lois asked her if she was concerned about poisoning them. The woman said, “No,” that autistics do not eat them. Lois explained that it was her understanding that 67% of autistic children suffer from PICA and that they would indeed eat these and that her daughter had been poisoned by eating the foam on the backing of a vest. The woman replied, “You do not want to get the foam when you order this, you want to get a material covering.” Lois again said that she did not want to order a lead blanket; she just wanted the information on the foam component of the vests. The woman gave her the number of the foam supplier.

Lois was sickened by the possibility that children were being poisoned by these blankets, and the next day her 17-year old son offered his birthday money to help buy one of the lead blankets, which cost hundreds of dollars. Lois called back the company and told the woman she had changed her mind. The woman said, “Oh, that’s great, honey, what color would you like it in?” After the discussion about color Lois asked about ordering a lap pad, and then Lois explained there were times when she felt that more weight was needed, so she’d like to order an extra long so that she could fold the item in half and get double the weight. Lois was stunned when the woman said this was a great idea, due to the fact that the first rule of lead shielding is that you CANNOT fold it. Lois was directed to the representative for her state to finalize the order. Lois called them. They asked her what color she wanted. Lois gave them the dimensions and said she intended to fold it. The order was placed for a 5-year old little autistic girl to receive a leaded blanket with a hot pink material covering.

The private company that had previously identified the vest in Lois’s home that had poisoned her daughter tested the outside of the package containing the lead blanket with an XRF (X-ray fluorescence) machine. The inspector was astonished at how high the readings came back and stated that there was an extremely high level of lead in whatever was in the package. Subsequently, a lead inspector for the State of Michigan opened the package and tested the blanket inside, getting higher readings. He also dust-wiped for surface lead. The inspector said that with all of the recalls for lead poisoning items, that this was a “lead death” item, and that it would be like a giant “Hershey Bar” to autistic – or even neurotypical children – due to the fact that it has a sweet flavor and that if the outside was compromised a child would have access to massive amounts of lead.

Lois has made the observation that the stitching was done right through the lead. She observes that if pets get a hold of this, it will be further compromised by claws and teeth. Lois wonders if an autistic child who has suffered from seizures goes to the emergency room with seizures from a massive poisoning, will they suspect lead?

And today, the test results of the dust wipes are in. The outside of the blanket is lethal. According to the inspector from the State if Michigan, a child could die from licking the outside of the blanket.

If your child has been exposed to this type of blanket, take precautions, package it, and remove it from the living space of the interior of your home.

Autism One Radio is planning on airing an interview with Lois Smith, the videotape of the initial inspection of the blanket, and test results as they become available at www.autismone.org/radio. Our thanks to Lois Smith for her continued efforts to protect children.

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What Is In Our Future? Are We Losing Our Rights Only To Be Bullied By The Government?

PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE! Maryland: Forced Vaccination for children or else, jail time and fines. This is so scary I can hardly find words to describe my outrage! If you read anything today you've got to read this NOW, especially if you have a child in school or expect your child to ever go to school, it is a very sad commentary of what our government is doing to infringe on our constitutional/human rights to not vaccinate our children. What can we do to protect our rights? Does this mean that homeschooling is the only way to exercise our right to not vaccinate our kids?

http://www.nvic.org/JailMD.htm

My Very Special Guy

Today Griffin's classroom had a presentation of their skills and talents during a very special pre-Thanksgiving feast and provided the food that they had prepared with some help for the parents/relatives of each child. It was so nice that each child exerted a lot of effort in order to show what they had learned. Griffin was a superstar when it was his turn, he read two sentences with wonderful articulation and loud enough for everyone to hear. He was so proud of himself because he kept taking a bow as everyone applauded. I had a perpetual smile on my face and snapped many pictures of all the happy kiddos and their parents.

Griffin just looks like such a big boy in this picture and lately it is becoming harder and harder to get him to snuggle with me but I manage to get short/temporary snuggles here and there which I am ever so grateful for no doubt. I have to face it, he is growing up and things are going to change with time. I have noticed that he is wanting to be more independent and to have privacy while using the bathroom which is a great sign of growth and it makes me very proud of him. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining but it is bittersweet this growing up thing and in some ways it breaks my heart and in others I am very excited for him.

It has become so much easier lately when we go out in public he is so well behaved and doesn't have any meltdowns for whatever reason and boy does that make life so much easier and much more simple. I actually wait to go shopping at certain stores that I know he will enjoy going to with me. I think that part of it is because I am more patient with him and I tend to spend more time explaining things to him and giving him more credit for understanding what I am telling him. Griffin is a progressive young guy who is raising the bar on how a nearly 6 year old must conduct himself when out in public and even when he is at home. I have moved my buttons around and he does not push them as much as he used to. I will take credit for part of it but most of it is because I am taking the Risperdal, it has helped me change in so many wonderful ways and created a loving, tolerant, patient, affectionate, tender, and attentive mommy.

I am still going to the gym every day but so far there have been no positive results, I have been careful what I eat and spend 30 minutes - an hour on the elyptical equipment but it is all in vain I suppose. At least I haven't gained any more weight, I am staying exactly where I have been and I would love to get back down to the size I was before taking the Risperdal gosh darnit! I wonder how hard and long I will have to work out to keep from gaining weight after the holidays!!!! OMG, it might just be an uphill battle, we shall see I suppose.

Nothing else to report, the weather is absolutely gorgeous and mild and I am still enjoying it! Hugs to you all, leave me a comment if you have a moment to spare, I would love to hear from you and to know that you were here. Happy Holidays!

Griffin's Gingerbread House

Here he is doing an excellent job of decorating his gingerbread house all by himself. It was so great because he didn't even try to eat any of the candy, he totally understood what the purpose of the candy was and did not need to be reminded of it. It was a great exercise in patience and a great opportunity to be creative and enjoy the outcome of his efforts. He was so proud of himself and seemed to be so happy with the finished product, it is tempting to buy another one so he can use his creativity again but he will get to work on another one at school when he and his classmates work on the ones that I bought for the class.

I sat and observed Griffin in his speech and O.T. sessions on Tuesday and he did quite well. In speech he was asked to answer "how" questions and to list the "first, next, and last" with each task pictured on the card. He did struggle a bit with most of them but his speech path. was very good at helping him to answer the questions and keeping him from becoming frustrated. In O.T. he first played in the room with a slide, swing, and a huge pad to jump into, then they worked on his handwriting and he is really doing much better while holding his pencil correctly, slowly but surely his handwriting is improving with the proper grasp. What is most important to me is that he looks forward to going each week because it is pleasant for him and I do believe that a happy camper is one who learns the most and gets the biggest benefit out of his education.

Ta Ta for now! Guess that I should get up from here and be productive somehow. Hope that all of you are very well and having a great week. Hugs to you, my blogging friends, thanks for stopping by!

Griffin's Progress Report

Griffin is doing so well in school and with his private speech and O.T., here he is at O.T. working on his handwriting and as you can see he is a happy little guy. His O.T. sessions have been absolutely wonderful and he is making incredible progress. Griffin's report card reflects how well he is doing in school and how much he is enjoying doing his homework. Pretty soon I believe that he will surpass all the goals that he has had for this period in school. His report card is as follows:

ELA (reading and writing) - A
Math - A
Science - A
Social Studies - B+

Griffin's teacher has reported that he is showing progress academically and behaviorally, he is attending and staying on task much more than previously in the nine weeks. Way to go buddy! He is really growing up and has a great propensity for learning which makes mommy so very proud of him.

Just yesterday at swimming Griffin showed progress as well, he floated on his back unassisted for several minutes and held his breath for a few seconds as he went underwater, keeping his mouth closed which was a great achievement because he usually smiles and laughs so much that he would inadvertently get choked on the water he aspirated. Griffin is kicking really well in the water and exerting a lot of energy but he needs to work on moving his legs from the hip and not just from his knees so we are going to practice walking backwards to develop the muscles and the use of his entire leg rather than just the lower part of his legs. His O.T. was really excited about his progress yesterday and I believe that Griffin was feeling pretty proud of himself too.

When I went to pick Griffin up from his after school program he was interacting with his little friend, who is a few years older, they were hugging each other and saying good-bye. It was such an adorable sight to see them together and patting each other's back. I look forward to seeing Griffin interacting with other kids more and more with each day. A few days ago Griffin and I were in K-Mart and I saw that they had gingerbread house kits and I called his teacher and asked if she would like some for the classroom to work on together and she gleefully replied that she thought that the kids would love that so I bought four of them for the classroom and one for Griffin to do at home. I can't wait to be there with the kids as they work on putting them together, I plan to take lots of pictures because it should be a really fun project for them.

The weather has been really cool and pleasant and I am enjoying seeing all the different colors of autumn and I just love wearing my sweaters again. There wasn't much of an autumn in Anchorage usually the gold leaves of the birch trees would last maybe a week and then it was winter so this is a refreshing change for me as I was in Alaska this time last year. Next month will be a year since we moved and boy has the time passed by quickly and what a difference there is in Griffin since our move.

I have lots of e-mail to catch up on so I guess it is time to get to it so that my friends don't think that I have forgotten about them, my motivation has been quite low still and I am making a gallant effort to stay focused and to stay on task today while I am here at the computer.

Our Trip To Wisconsin

Griffin and I went to Wisconsin to visit our friends Amy, Luke, and Noah and we had a wonderful time! Griffin got to help Amy make cupcakes and as you can see he was thrilled with it and seemed quite proud of himself. We all went to the pumpkin farm and Griffin really enjoyed riding the pony, eating caramel popcorn, and going on a hay ride. We also went swimming in the indoor pool at the hotel and of course he loved that because swimming is most definitely one of his favorite activities. The best news of all is that Griffin and Noah played together, talked to one another, and shared with each other just as if they were two best friends who have known each other for years. Griffin did a great job of communication and initiating conversation with Noah who is 11 years old and also has autism. At times one might have believed that they were just two NT kiddos carrying on with the business of being social. I was thoroughly impressed with how well Griffin followed along with Noah as they went trick or treating door to door in the neighborhood with a constant smile upon his gorgeous little face.
By the way, the pictures, as you may have noticed, are not in order because I never seem to be able to get them in the place where I wish to insert them into the paragraph (oh well).

Griffin was a champ at the airports and on the plane, he traveled just like a pro! I had requested to have a wheelchair waiting for us at our destination in order to have help and so that Griffin didn't have to walk such a long distance. It sure did make the whole trip so much easier and much more pleasant, I highly recommend using a wheelchair for those kiddos who have difficulty in airports. Griffin was quite calm and relaxed on the airplane because he had his DVD player and a plethora of DVDs in tow. It was such a great relief for him to act like such a big boy during the entire trip and I must say that I will eagerly travel with him again if the opportunity ever presents itself because he has most definitely proven himself to be a great listener!

While in Wisconsin I found the article in the November edition of "People" magazine that has my name in it about the trial that I had gone to in Anchorage, I had done an interview with them over the phone. Before going to Wisconsin I flew to Manhattan (NYC) alone to be interviewed by "Inside Edition" but I don't know when it will air, I need to call them to find out. It is a trial that got lots and lots of press throughout the world and I wouldn't be surprised if it is made into a "made for TV" movie it certainly has all the makings for it. Incidentally, for those of you who are familiar with it, the defendant was found guilty of first degree murder!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so thrilled that the jury saw the truth and that my dearly departed friend's family may feel that justice has been served.

I will post some more pics of my beautiful child Griffin Blaise soon, thanks for reading my blog and sharing in the joy of all his great accomplishments. I just got his progress report and I will post about that as soon as I can, I haven't completely read it yet but will get right to it today. Take care my dear friends, hugs and smiles to all of you! Hope you have a wonderful day & weekend.

I Miss Reading Your Blogs and Writing In Mine

I used to have so many people who seemed to enjoy reading my blog and keep track of his progress and accomplishments but not so much anymore, I do believe that it is for two reasons: I have been slack in keeping the blog updated and I haven't been reading anyone else's blog lately. It is understandable that it would happen that way so I am not surprised but miss all my blogging buddies. There has been a lot going on with me personally and I have been dealing with it in therapy and with my doctor and that takes up most of my time just trying to deal with it day to day. So, I apologize to my dear friends who do keep reading and leaving comments to let me know that you are still around and that there is always support for me and Griffin.

Griffin is doing absolutely fabulous!!!!!!!!!!! He has exceeded his goals in speech in fact, his speech path. told me that she is going to call me next week to go over some new goals. Griffin is easily meeting his goals in his special needs classroom and still surprising us all with his exceptionally incredible talents and skills. I will have to take a photo of the paper that he did today in his after school program with his teacher, she was smiling ear to ear when she showed me what he had accomplished all on his own. It is truly extraordinary indeed, I cannot wait to get a pic of it to show everyone and brag about his wonderful work!

Today Griffin went to swimming and he was doing exceptionally well there also. He floated on his back for 18 seconds without any help whatsoever. His O.T. was thrilled with him and so was I and I do believe that he was pretty proud of himself too. Griffin loves the water and he doesn't even get upset or scared when he accidentally goes underwater. Perhaps one day he will be a swimmer and continue to love the water.

I don't like the fact that I haven't been posting but there are so many other things going on that it just isn't a priority anymore, not that it isn't interesting or anything because I love to write about what Griffin and I do each week so I will make an attempt to keep it updated at least once a week so that you will all know that we are okay. I do hope to read your blogs again too, it is just so overwhelming sometimes, I am sure that there are those of you who can relate to that. I have been going to the gym each day/morning while Griffin is in school for about an hour but I need to go more often since I have yet to lose any weight so far.

We are going next week to Wisconsin to see our friend Amy and Noah and we are so excited. I do hope that Griffin is okay with the flights and the layovers that we are going to have. I will be taking his DVD player and some brand new DVDs hopefully it will be something that he is interested in and it will keep him busy for awhile.

Take care everyone and I hope to see you soon on your blogs but if I don't please don't feel that I have forgotten you at all!

My Trip To Alaska/Griffin's Latest Success

I went to Anchorage to testify in a murder trial and ended up staying there for a week, it was quite a stressful time for me because I had to be away from my sweet little guy, boy did I miss him! Even though it was nice to see my friends again and all my old haunts it is not something that I wish to do again because being a participant in a murder trial is not fun whatsoever. I did get to hang out with the crew from CBS 48 Hours and do an interview, did an interview with the Anchorage Daily News and most recently with People Magazine. I will let you know when the 48 Hours show comes on in January so you can see the twisted/stranger than fiction sort of trial that it has been. It was a cold case and actually happened over 10 years ago so I had to rely on my journals and my original statement with the state troopers to jog my memory with all details, it was such an unhealthy time in my life when I used to hang out with the defendant and actually considered to be a close friend for some time but ended the relationship a few months before the murder occurred. I know that you would probably like to know the details of what happened but I am so tired of writing and talking about it I am hoping that you can catch the story in People Magazine to fill in the blanks. If you are so curious that you don't want to wait to hear all about it then leave me a comment with your e-mail address (if I don't already have it) and I will be glad to explain it to you individually. Suffice it to say that it was a grueling event and it is so good to be here with Griffin and to snuggle up to him and get big hugs from him. Dateline NBC kept bugging me to do an interview but I decided that doing one show is enough and I just want it to be over and become part of my past. I am sure that the Dateline NBC crew are wonderful people but revisiting that part of my life is not something that I really want to do, I believe that the woman on trial is without a doubt guilty of the murder of my close friend and she should pay for her playing a part in this cold blooded murder back in 1996.

On to more pleasant news in which I am absolutely thrilled about........Griffin is finally potty trained and even staying dry all through the night!!!!!!!!!!! He was so very happy to see me at the airport last weekend and I was even more happy to see him and to put my arms around him, to get big hugs and lots of kisses, it's what I live for! I will post some more pictures in the near future, it's just that I am still disorganized and getting my life back on track. I hope to visit your blogs soon so that I can catch up on what has been going on with all my special friends. Hugs to everyone and I hope that you are all well and enjoying the change in the season, I know that I am!