I Miss Reading Your Blogs and Writing In Mine

I used to have so many people who seemed to enjoy reading my blog and keep track of his progress and accomplishments but not so much anymore, I do believe that it is for two reasons: I have been slack in keeping the blog updated and I haven't been reading anyone else's blog lately. It is understandable that it would happen that way so I am not surprised but miss all my blogging buddies. There has been a lot going on with me personally and I have been dealing with it in therapy and with my doctor and that takes up most of my time just trying to deal with it day to day. So, I apologize to my dear friends who do keep reading and leaving comments to let me know that you are still around and that there is always support for me and Griffin.

Griffin is doing absolutely fabulous!!!!!!!!!!! He has exceeded his goals in speech in fact, his speech path. told me that she is going to call me next week to go over some new goals. Griffin is easily meeting his goals in his special needs classroom and still surprising us all with his exceptionally incredible talents and skills. I will have to take a photo of the paper that he did today in his after school program with his teacher, she was smiling ear to ear when she showed me what he had accomplished all on his own. It is truly extraordinary indeed, I cannot wait to get a pic of it to show everyone and brag about his wonderful work!

Today Griffin went to swimming and he was doing exceptionally well there also. He floated on his back for 18 seconds without any help whatsoever. His O.T. was thrilled with him and so was I and I do believe that he was pretty proud of himself too. Griffin loves the water and he doesn't even get upset or scared when he accidentally goes underwater. Perhaps one day he will be a swimmer and continue to love the water.

I don't like the fact that I haven't been posting but there are so many other things going on that it just isn't a priority anymore, not that it isn't interesting or anything because I love to write about what Griffin and I do each week so I will make an attempt to keep it updated at least once a week so that you will all know that we are okay. I do hope to read your blogs again too, it is just so overwhelming sometimes, I am sure that there are those of you who can relate to that. I have been going to the gym each day/morning while Griffin is in school for about an hour but I need to go more often since I have yet to lose any weight so far.

We are going next week to Wisconsin to see our friend Amy and Noah and we are so excited. I do hope that Griffin is okay with the flights and the layovers that we are going to have. I will be taking his DVD player and some brand new DVDs hopefully it will be something that he is interested in and it will keep him busy for awhile.

Take care everyone and I hope to see you soon on your blogs but if I don't please don't feel that I have forgotten you at all!

My Trip To Alaska/Griffin's Latest Success

I went to Anchorage to testify in a murder trial and ended up staying there for a week, it was quite a stressful time for me because I had to be away from my sweet little guy, boy did I miss him! Even though it was nice to see my friends again and all my old haunts it is not something that I wish to do again because being a participant in a murder trial is not fun whatsoever. I did get to hang out with the crew from CBS 48 Hours and do an interview, did an interview with the Anchorage Daily News and most recently with People Magazine. I will let you know when the 48 Hours show comes on in January so you can see the twisted/stranger than fiction sort of trial that it has been. It was a cold case and actually happened over 10 years ago so I had to rely on my journals and my original statement with the state troopers to jog my memory with all details, it was such an unhealthy time in my life when I used to hang out with the defendant and actually considered to be a close friend for some time but ended the relationship a few months before the murder occurred. I know that you would probably like to know the details of what happened but I am so tired of writing and talking about it I am hoping that you can catch the story in People Magazine to fill in the blanks. If you are so curious that you don't want to wait to hear all about it then leave me a comment with your e-mail address (if I don't already have it) and I will be glad to explain it to you individually. Suffice it to say that it was a grueling event and it is so good to be here with Griffin and to snuggle up to him and get big hugs from him. Dateline NBC kept bugging me to do an interview but I decided that doing one show is enough and I just want it to be over and become part of my past. I am sure that the Dateline NBC crew are wonderful people but revisiting that part of my life is not something that I really want to do, I believe that the woman on trial is without a doubt guilty of the murder of my close friend and she should pay for her playing a part in this cold blooded murder back in 1996.

On to more pleasant news in which I am absolutely thrilled about........Griffin is finally potty trained and even staying dry all through the night!!!!!!!!!!! He was so very happy to see me at the airport last weekend and I was even more happy to see him and to put my arms around him, to get big hugs and lots of kisses, it's what I live for! I will post some more pictures in the near future, it's just that I am still disorganized and getting my life back on track. I hope to visit your blogs soon so that I can catch up on what has been going on with all my special friends. Hugs to everyone and I hope that you are all well and enjoying the change in the season, I know that I am!

It Has Been Awhile Since My Last Post

I have been such a slacker lately and haven't posted on the blog nor have I been reading other blogs which really stinks because it gives me such a great feeling to stay in touch with my blogger friends and to keep up with what's going on. I just recently found out that the reason that I am so unmotivated and feel like hell, can't sleep at night and having a hard time staying awake during the day is because my depression has snuck up on me again and the meds that I was taking stopped working for me. My psychiatrist changed my meds around and put me on Risperdal. I know that there are several kiddos on it for behavior issues and I didn't realize that it was also used for Bipolar Disorder also. I have been on it for about 2 weeks and it hasn't helped yet which is really quite frustrating because I was doing so well before this depression started to get the best of me. I think that perhaps I may be one of the lucky ones in that it hasn't caused my appetite to increase so far and I am thrilled with that. I have been going to the gym to workout and it just wipes me out for days even though I am taking it easy and some days I only walk on the treadmill it stills kicks my butt and it takes me a couple of days to recover from only 15 - 20 minute walk. I am hanging in there with a positive perspective and with hopes of feeling better real soon.

I posted some time ago , right after we had moved to S.C., about Griffin's bus driver using her personal cell phone while she was driving and how unhappy I was about it and how I made phone calls to everyone I could possibly get in touch with about this. The response that I got was that it wasn't part of their policy to allow that to happen but nothing was ever done about it. Back then I didn't have a car so I had no choice but to let him ride the bus but now that I have a car I do not plan on letting Griffin ever ride the bus again because I am concerned about his safety. The reason why I mentioned this is because a reporter/anchor for a television station a few hours away from here contacted me through this blog. She is doing a story on the dangers of bus drivers talking on cell phones while driving and asked me if I would like to do an interview about it. I was happy to be interviewed and to help her take the information that she has gathered to the state legislators in order to make it illegal for bus drivers to use their cell phones while driving our children. I hope that the interview made some difference and will help to spread the word that it is going on and create awareness throughout the state. She had informed me that there are only 13 states where it is actually illegal. I was not surprised that this state was not one of them. South Carolina is so concerned about people having alcohol on Sundays and people missing church on Sundays because they might want to go shopping it is absurd! How can it be that such issues are far more important than the safety of our children. I am not going to spend too much time writing about this but I will keep the blog updated as the story is aired and once I learn more from her about how it is going at the state level. I also need to get to bed but first I want to brag about my wonderful little guy.

Griffin is doing awesome at school and at home and in his therapies (Speech, O.T., and in his swimming). His speech and language are progressing at an amazing rate and his handwriting and spelling is phenomenal. I am so proud of his progress and to top it all off he seems to really enjoy learning and even doing his homework. His teacher is wonderful and ever so organized and really seems to love what she is doing. Griffin is once again a happy camper as he used to be when he was in Anchorage. He has come a long way and has adjusted to this environment quite well and is having far fewer meltdowns than when we first got here. I will do my best to stay on top of things and to let you all know what's going on with us.

A Brilliant Artist

This is Griffin's most recent piece, it is Ernie and Elmo swimming in the bath tub as he has described it to me. Griffin didn't forget the details of what it takes to make each one unique like Ernie's striped shirt and Elmo's eyes on the top of his head. I think that it is a great artistic endeavor. He never ceases to amaze me.

So, Griffin is doing very well in school and loves going and often does not want to leave at the end of the day. His teacher told me that he is doing so well with his potty training that she believes that he is ready to wear big boy underwear during the day at school. I am thrilled with this news of course but if only he would do the same for me at home. She said that he was even asking to use the potty! At home he flatly refuses to go to the bathroom most all the time. I have a great deal of support and some ideas that might just prove to work out after all, I will keep you updated as things transpire.

I go out every day to run errands or to go shopping in my wonderful car which I am so very grateful for, I feel so blessed with all the gifts that I have received through the power of positive thinking and believing that I will get all that I wish for as long as I believe. This is what I have found to be true because I have learned so much through The Secret, I just recently listened to the audio book and it left me feeling empowered and inspired to go after all that I want and need. I have already received much of what I have wished for which makes me even more confident that the rest is on its way, it's just a matter of time.

The weather has been pretty good lately and not so unbearably hot and humid so that makes each day much easier to tolerate, or it could be that I am becoming more acclimated.

Griffin's First Day of School

Griffin went to his new classroom yesterday and he seemed to be right at home there, he followed directions and was a good listener just like a big boy. He is growing up so fast and really showing signs of being more mature and acting more his age. Griffin has developed some new skills over the summer through his EI (Early Interventionist) such as taking turns and waiting patiently, he has learned some new Spanish words, and he has been focusing much better with the work that he has been asked to do.

Today I took him into the classroom and he went straight away to his desk and sat down in his chair. I almost cried partly because he is growing up so fast and partly because I am so very proud of him. The other day just out of the blue Griffin said the pledge of allegiance out loud to mom and me, he did such an awesome job pronouncing each and ever word correctly. So I asked him to do it for his teacher and everyone was amazed that he did so well, we all praised him and I think that he was pretty proud of himself too.

Griffin and I are really enjoying our new car, every chance I get we go for a ride and I like being able to go places while he is in school, it's much easier to shop alone. I do miss him lots while he is gone to a full day of school but at the same time I love the peace and quiet and taking things at my own pace. I am truly grateful for all that we have and I will continue to give thanks to the universe for listening to me and answering my wishes.

Griffin had speech and O.T. yesterday after school and he seemed to be very happy to go and his therapists seemed quite proud of him also. He is such an amazing child and I give thanks every day that I am so blessed to call him my own, I feel so privileged to have him in my life. Not a day passes that he hasn't taught me something new has made me a better person and a much wiser mommy and for this I am also grateful. Life is good and I feel more and more capable of overcoming the obstacles that have created challenges in my life. Griffin has been overcoming his obstacles/challenges so then why can't I?

My New Volvo S70 SE

I am such a happy camper because I finally got my dream car, this is the first car that I have ever purchased all on my own! What a great feeling it is to sit in my new car and to know that it is mine and it is paid for. I am referring to it as a "new" car because it is new to me but it is actually a 2000 model S70 SE so it is fully loaded and I got an awesome deal. It only had 68,000 miles on it and is in immaculate condition. It just goes to show that if you wish hard enough and never have doubts, never giving up, everyone can have what they dream about it just takes patience. I am so very grateful that I was able to purchase this vehicle because Griffin and I need to have some freedom of movement, some independence, and the ability to do all of our errands and such without relying on my mom to take us.

Griffin is doing great he has been acting much more mature for his age and cooperating with my mom and me and he is having fewer meltdowns. He has really come a long way since we moved down here from Alaska. We are still working on the toilet training, I am hoping that once he gets back to school and has a regular routine that he will be more willing to use the toilet.

It is really hot here, it was well over 100 degrees yesterday and super humid (which I hate the most) it is supposed to be in the 100's again today. Got to go for now . Be back again soon.

Good News About My Eyes

The new medicine that I am taking seems to be working really well, so far I haven't had any problems with my eyes!!!! Yipee!!!!!!!! That means that I can start looking for a car to buy, I am so thrilled! The only side effects that the Cogentin has is that it gives me dry mouth and has decreased my appetite which is awesome since I have been trying to lose weight.

Griffin has swimming today and his E.I. came to our house yesterday and she said that Griffin did a great job and that he was very focused and a good listener. Griffin seems to be paying more attention lately and acting so much more mature, he has been really mellow too. My little guy is growing up so fast! School will start on the 22nd and I hope that he will be very happy at his new school.

I am trying to keep up with catching up and on reading your blogs, Griffin has been using the computer a lot lately even though he has one of his own so I haven't been on the computer much. I also have been quite spacey when I am like that I cannot focus on anything because my mind keeps going elsewhere and I totally lose track of what I was doing or saying. I don't like it all but since it is because of my PTSD then there's not much I can do about it.

Well, Griffin just used his manners and asked if he could use this computer so I am going to go make something for him to eat. Have a wonderful day to all my friends out there.

The Greenville Zoo

Yesterday we went to the zoo with my sister-in-law, my niece, and nephew and I think that Griffin had a great time. At one point he got mixed up in a group of children and we stood back to see what he would do and he kept trying to hold hands with the children and give them hugs, I thought that it was adorable and great because he was reaching out to them and interact but I had to tell him to come over to me since the children didn't like it. What an awesome breakthrough for him to want to interact with them, I am just thrilled about it.

I went to the doctor and he told me that I do have a side effect from one of my meds, Abilify, that causes one's eyes to have spasms like mine have been doing so he prescribed Cogentin which is specific to side effects of the medication. I will know in a couple of weeks if it is working or not and I will keep you posted.

I hope that you all are having a great weekend, I have my 43rd birthday coming up tomorrow and it is also my dad's birthday which is pretty neat so it will be a great day of quiet/peaceful celebration.

Our Outing For The Day

Griffin and I went to this place called Callaham's Orchard with our friend Sam today and Griffin had a great time feeding the animals as you can see, here he is feeding a goat. After we fed the goats, turkey, and sheep we had homemade ice cream. It was a wonderful day and the weather was perfect. As soon as we finished there Griffin made it clear that he wanted to go home so we did but we took the long way and Sam was nice enough to drive us since I don't think that it is safe for me to drive yet because of my eye problem. I forgot to mention that Griffin, for some bizarre reason, was most attracted to the turkey, he kept trying to hug it and loved to pet it ever so gently but the owner came by and warned us that the turkey may try to peck Griffin so I had to re-direct him and he did okay with it.

Got to go before my eyes screw up but I will try to post more often. We are going to N.C. tomorrow and I will do my best to post about that tomorrow evening........hopefully. Hugs to all my friends and I hope that you had a great weekend.

Problems With My Eyes

Hi everyone! I just wanted to let you all know that you haven't seen me visiting your blogs lately or posting frequently because I have been having problems with my eyes and haven't been on the computer much. I apparently have what is called Oculogyration where my eyes roll back into my head and I cannot make them look forward/straight ahead no matter what I do and the only way that I can make it stop is to go to sleep. Being at the computer often triggers this problem and it is very frustrating because once it starts then I am doomed and cannot finish reading or writing and must go straight to bed. I must let you know that I miss you all and what has been going on with you but hopefully soon I will find out what is causing this problem and get it straightened out. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on the 27th and I feel sure that he will give me a referral to a neurologist who will help me figure out if it is my meds causing this problem or if it is stress related or what.

I am going to attempt to write a bit more and I apologize to The Bishop's Wife and to Kristi for not posting my meme. I was tagged and am supposed to post 8 things about myself but it will have to wait for the moment until my eyes will cooperate with me long enough to do it.

I love you all and hope that you are all doing very well, please know that you are still my friends and I still care very much about you. Please take care and I will do my best to stay in touch

Chuck E. Cheese's

Most kids are so thrilled to play at Chuck E. Cheese's all day long or however long their parents can stand to let them stay but not my little guy, he was perfectly content to sit and just watch all the goings on all around him. Griffin played in the tunnels twice and then just seemed to like just walking around looking at everyone, he didn't appear to be overwhelmed or anything just not interested in playing the games or riding the rides. When it was time to eat he had his favorite, pepperoni pizza and then was perfectly willing to go when we told him it was time to leave. To each their own and as long as he was happy that is all that matters.

Thank you all for your support and kind words, it helps me a lot in so many ways. I still have the anxiety and am working on working it out but it is tough when it is an everyday thing and almost always present. I am slowly but surely getting around to reading your blogs again so don't be shocked when you see that Lora has left a comment.....lol. I miss keeping up with all that you have been doing and how you and your families are doing, hope to see you soon.

What Griffin Needs

Griffin is doing great but is in desperate need of some structure in his life, I must say that I am not the world's best at routine and structure in any given day. My dear child needs what I am not able to give him right now and I just hate it. He has a mommy right now who is full of anxiety and does well to take care of herself much less provide a stringent routine for Griffin to follow.

I don't know exactly what is causing my anxiety nor can I tell what the triggers are but all I do know is that it is ruling my life and my doctor will not prescribe anything for it so I must deal with it on my own somehow. Because of this stuff that I am going through I haven't felt like sitting down at the computer much therefore I haven't been writing in the blog or reading blogs and I hate that also but feel kind of helpless right now to do anything about it. I am not a nervous mess but it's just this feeling that I have that I can't seem to shake. I know that it has to do with my P.T.S.D. and my therapist is doing her best to help me out.

In the meantime, Griffin has speech, O.T., his Early Interventionist, and swimming each week and outside of that he seems to still be learning and playing just fine but I just wish that I could provide more for him and give him what he needs.

On A Hot Afternoon

Griffin had a great time with his cousin playing in the pool, it was really hot in N.C. when we went to visit and I think that he had a blast. Not much else to report, I haven't felt much like writing in the blog and haven't had the time to read blogs..........so I apologize that I am behind on both. Hope that all of you are doing well, the summer is going great for us, it is just reeeaaally hot here and humid but that's okay, we are adjusting to it. I will try to post again soon and let you all know more about what is going on with us. Love and hugs to all of you, my friends.

Happy Father's Day

It's been awhile since my last entry, certainly not because there hasn't been anything going on but mostly because I just haven't felt inclined to do so. Even though I am not depressed anymore I still have some issues with motivation and with getting things done that I need to or usually want to do, I am working on it though. I am pleased to report that I am a very happy camper, much like my sweet lil guy, and that things are looking up in my life and I look forward to each day and appreciate living in the moment once again.

Griffin has been doing wonderfully, he has been having quite the busy summer so far with speech/social group, OT, swim therapy, and his weekly session with Ms. A here at the house. Each therapist has reported that Griffin is paying really good attention and being a good listener, he responds well to their requests and seems to be enjoying the activities that he is participating in. Ms. K the OT who instructs him in swimming has had glowing reports of Griffin's progress and an added bonus is that she works him so hard doing exercises in the water that he is so tired and mellow when he is done. I say that it is a bonus because, as I mentioned before, he used to be overstimulated after his swimming in Anchorage and would be wired for sound but Ms. K knows how to get him to really work hard and it wipes him out.

In the social group which he attends each Monday, Griffin has been working really well with his peers and cooperating with his Speech Path. Ms. T. There are 4 boys in all and she puts 2 together to work as a team and so far Griffin has made excellent progress in this area. His OT and I are working on helping Griffin to hold his writing and eating utensils properly but otherwise he is doing really well in OT especially with cutting and coloring within the lines.

It's Father's Day and Griffin's father is still nowhere to be found but that's okay because we have done well without him thus far, for almost 6 years, so we can make it just fine without his help although it would be nice if he was in Griffin's life and it would be nice if he even met Griffin and knew what an awesome little guy he is. It seems that Griffin is not even aware of not having a father around and I guess that is a blessing in disguise because I wouldn't ever wish on him to feel left out or neglected because his father is not around. Even though Griffin's father has been so irresponsible and has never been in Griffin's life I would never speak ill of him because he is Griffin's dad and it doesn't make him a bad person for being irresponsible. You may not agree with me but this is simply the best way that I have to cope with raising my child on my own and it works much better than bitterness and resentment! When I was with Griffin's dad he was a sweet, kind, and generous man and this is how I choose to remember him and I have no regrets whatsoever.

N.C., Play Date, and Medications

Our trip to N.C. was great, I bought a new bike for myself, Griffin played with his little cousin, and we got to visit with my sister and her family and my brother and his family. It is always so nice to visit N.C. it is so beautiful there and it is nice to see my family. Griffin seemed much more comfortable playing with his little cousin "E" this time whereas last time he didn't seem to really want to interact with her. They played on the teeter toter and in E's tent/tunnel laughing together the entire time. I didn't get any pics this time unfortunately because I forgot to take my camera in from the truck.

Griffin had a play date with his little friend "C" and once again he seemed much more comfortable playing and interacting with him more so than the previous visit. C kept wanting to wrestle with Griffin, it was so cute and I think that Griffin enjoyed having the deep pressure of C lying on top of him because he was laughing so hard. This time Griffin wasn't so fixated on petting the cats and just spent a short amount of time with them.

I had an individual comment on my last post about so-called miracle cures and I want to make it clear that I do not believe in such things. I wish for everyone to know that I trust that Griffin will take the path that he is meant to take and that if that means that he recovers from autism then great but if he does not then I am fully prepared for that as well. I am not a proponent of miracle cures for autism and do not promote the use of them because I think that it is a recipe for disaster and disappointment. Griffin is awesome exactly as he is and if he doesn't change then I will be fine with that and I accept him and his autism with open arms. He is the joy of my life and he is perfectly wonderful just being Griffin..........the happy little camper that he is!

My friend in Wisconsin has just tried a drug(on her son Noah) that is experimental for the use in autism, it is called Namenda and has been used typically for dementia in Alzhiemer patients (I know that I didn't spell that right). Anyhow, she has had great results with her son Noah who is 10 years old and autistic. I was just wondering if anyone else has tried it or heard of it. I am not planning on using it for Griffin because he will not take pills and besides it has to be used with a mood stabilizer and he does not need one of those. Apparently Noah has shown signs of being more verbal, being much more social, and outgoing since starting the medication.

I also would like to know if anyone has had any experience with the drug Mirtazapine which is used for sleep in children with sleep disorders. Griffin is not so unusual in that he has a huge problem with insomnia and I have been giving him Clonidine which is typically used in adults for high blood pressure but they found that it causes sleepiness as a side effect so it is also used for that in children. I don't feel comfortable giving him hypertension meds even though the doctor said that it will not lower his blood pressure but I am not sure if I want to try him on the Mirtazapine which is specifically used just for sleep, I hate giving him anything at all but I have to have my sleep in order to function and to keep my moods stable besides I take Seroquel for sleep because I also have a huge problem with insomnia as well and cannot stay up with him at night. I am just curious if anyone has used this medication and if there have been any ill side effects from it.

Hope that you all are doing well and having a great day! Many hugs to all of you, thanks for reading our blog!

Going to N.C. and Some Really Good News!

We are doing great! Griffin had his first swim session with Ms. K and boy did she make him work hard! He loved it so much and is really at home in the water and has no fear which can be good but scary at the same time. Ms. K said that her main focus is on having him learn safety, to learn to go to the edge at all times just in case there is a situation in which he gets in trouble. Griffin seems to be learning to swim quite well, nowhere near doing it by himself but he's getting the hang of it anyhow. For the first time ever he was tired after swimming instead of being wired and over-stimulated like he used to be in Anchorage. Ms. K really got him to exercise and worked him hard for a good 45 minutes but he was smiling the entire time. I don't have pictures yet but as soon as I get them put on disc I will post them.

We are going to North Carolina today to see my sister and her daughter who just loves Griffin, she loves trying to play with him as he is still not really that interested in playing with her yet. We do good if he is takes turns and shares with her, we've been working hard on that, he's been having some difficulty with that.

I got some good news a couple of weeks ago, I was approved for my Social Security disability!!!! I am so grateful for that, it will be so nice to have some extra money to get the things that we need. I will now be able to get a car so we will have the freedom to move around and go out and about on our own. I have been relying on my Mom to take us everywhere and now that is finally going to change!!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!

Change is such a good thing and I always welcome it and am now able to adjust to it much more easily especially since I now have a positive outlook on life and know that I will get all that I want and need.

It's getting quite hot and humid here and it makes me miss the summer weather in Anchorage because it is so perfectly wonderful and comfortable there, so green and pristine there, I just love it! Guess that's all for now, be back again soon to let ya know how our trip to N.C. goes.

Ten Things That I Am Grateful For

1. Griffin and I are both very healthy
2. I am close to my family
3. Griffin is progressing every day
4. Griffin is on medicaid therefore all his therapies are paid for
5. Griffin tells me that he loves me.
6. I have friends who care about me/us.
7. Griffin teaches me something new every day
8. Griffin makes me laugh and that I am laughing again after a very long time.
9. I have medications that help me to not be depressed anymore.
10. I am loved and happy with who I am.

I believe that by being grateful for all that I have puts me in a place that facilitates health, wealth, and happiness. I believe that by following my bliss that the money will follow, it also makes me a better mommy to Griffin. I know that this may seem hokey to some of you but if you had been depressed for years and was never able to laugh or feel joy in your life then you would be eternally grateful for all the little things in your life too. I have noticed that when I write a post that is positive that I get fewer comments, almost none as it were but if I write something about being depressed or if I am down on myself that I have an overwhelming response. Why is that do you suppose? It doesn't really matter because I am going to be positive and grateful regardless. Complaining is not productive or conducive to getting out of a rut that I've been in for so very long. Griffin teaches me and now I am more receptive than ever to his lessons and I feel very blessed. Even though I don't get many comments on my positive posts I do hope that people are still reading them and maybe taking something away with them that they can use for themselves.

I can't say that I am grateful that Griffin has autism but I am grateful for the gifts that he has and for sharing in those gifts that invoke joy in my life and inspire me to always do better.

The Secret

Sometimes when we forget what to do in our lives to make it better and more positive we need to be reminded and I am grateful to my sister for reminding me through giving me a wonderful gift. She gave to me a priceless gift in DVD form called "The Secret". Since watching this I have decided that I am going to make some major changes in my life and stop the doubt and negative thinking that is keeping me in a rut and keeping me from succeeding in life. I know that the law of attraction is real and that it works because I used to put it to use to make all my wishes come true and for a period in my life I did have everything that I had wished for, it is just a shame that at some point I lost track of it and forgot what really worked for me. If you haven't seen "The Secret" or read it then I HIGHLY recommend that you do! It will change your life in so many ways, or rather.........it will help YOU to change your life in so many ways. I am so excited about once again having all that I wish for and I know that it WILL happen to me because if I send out the energy, thoughts, and effort into the universe then it WILL come back to me. I am banishing the depression, I am going to have more money, I will have more friends, I will attract health, wealth, and happiness and then some!

So, plan on reading a blog that is upbeat and positive from now on and no more crying out for help because of self doubt and negativity. I am showing that I am grateful for all that I have now and will not take it all for granted anymore. If you think that it is unrealistic to be so positive then for sure you should consider watching this film because it is so simple and easy. Think about all the things in your life that upsets you or that you might be complaining about and how much you would like to change it. That's what I have done and I am going to create my own destiny, follow my bliss and I will get all that I wish for.

I am NOT going to take my beautiful child Griffin for granted or all the gifts that he has to offer me that I have been overlooking. There is so much that he can teach me about life and about myself and I have been overlooking it because of my depression. Now that the Zoloft is working for me it is facilitating my healing. I now know that I can heal completely from my affliction of negativity and have all that my heart desires. I hope that you will consider changing your life through reading or watching "The Secret" because I care about you as a fellow human being and I know that there is enough abundance in the universe to go around so why not take advantage of it?

Hopefully this post has evoked some thought and consideration because it is so worth it to try and YOU are so worth it to do this for yourself, go ahead and give yourself a gift that keeps on giving. Follow your bliss and the money will follow, I plan on writing my book and I now know that by following my bliss that I will have the money that I desire. Mark my words, I will have my own house, a brand new car, a horse and all the money that I need to live comfortably with my perfectly healthy child Griffin and we will stay safe and be happy surrounded by love. These are but a few of the things that I wish for and if you feel so inclined write a post about all the things that you are grateful for and all the things that you desire. I would love to know that the positive vibes are contagious and/or that you have in fact seen "The Secret" and that you are going to make major changes in your life.

Griffin is doing great! We went to his first play date ever with one of his former classmates named C and this little guy was such a joy. He was so much like Griffin it is amazing, a happy fella who loves numbers and letters just like Griffin. They did interact with one another a few times, C wanted to wrestle with Griffin and they were both laughing so hard. It was so cool to watch and I look forward to their next play date, it is very encouraging to see them actually play together. We had gone to their house and since it was a new environment for Griffin he did lots of wandering around checking things out but his favorite part was the two kitties which he loves so very much, he spent quite a bit of time trying to pet them. I am grateful to his mom, E for letting us come over to play and I hope that we meet again real soon. It was so nice to be able to have another adult to talk to who understands all that I experience with Griffin. We have a lot in common and I anticipate having a great long lasting friendship. I admire E for not only taking care of her two children but also attending school, something that I intend on doing also I want to.........no, I am going to take some college courses in creative writing so that I can write my book. Thanks E for being an inspiration to me and for being a friend also.

That's all folks! Hope you are inspired by my words of encouragement and that you decide to make some changes in your life. Let me know what you think, leave me a comment or write a post about it. Take care my friends and may all your wishes come true!!!!!!!!!!

The Fire Station and Our Visit to N.C.

Griffin is seen here with the fireman and the fire hose, he really enjoyed watching the water spray over the street and sitting in the fire engine and helicopter. We then drove an hour and a half to N.C. to visit my brother and his family and Griffin got to see all the special bears that were handcrafted and on display on the main street, unfortunately I didn't get a picture of that but he enjoyed it and seeing my niece and nephew who always play with him. They try to wear him out but it is always to no avail, there's no way that you could possibly wear out Griffin.

We then traveled another hour to visit my sister and her family, it was my other niece's 20th birthday and we were due to go to a party for her later on that day (Saturday). First we stopped at my sister's house where Griffin kept chasing the cats, there were 3 of them, and only one of them would let him pet him. Seth is a sweet and lovable kitty who likes to play and Griffin just got a kick out of it. I got some really good pics with my other camera which I will publish soon. Griffin played with his little cousin, she is 2.5 yrs. old and he did quite well actually. He didn't push or shove her out of his way, he still needs to work on the sharing bit but at least he wasn't pushy or forceful about it. He was really quite mellow the whole time we were at their house, he did laugh a lot when on the see saw-go-round with his cousin. Even though he was too heavy for her he figured out how to balance it out so that it would go up and down by pushing with his feet.

I knew that the party would be a challenge and I thought that we were prepared for it by bringing his Doodle Pad (which he loves and can play with for hours it seems) but it was not enough to distract him from the many people who were there and all the energy in the room. It was a party of about 15 people with 2 little girls age 2 yrs old and a lot of commotion going on. In the beginning he did sit and eat some taquitos (I know I didn't spell that right) and it wasn't until he saw the cake/cupcakes that he became unwound and started the meltdown. Well, the only problem was that the Moms didn't want the girls to have a cupcake yet so it wasn't that I didn't want him to have one at the moment so my Mom and I secretly carried one outside and sat down at a table and let him eat a cupcake. He was quite a happy little guy then and calmed down momentarily while out of the room with all the people. Once we were back in there he got wound up again and started going bonkers and bouncing off the walls. He played with his cousin's little toy computer but not for long. He soon became bored and was running around and spinning in circles amongst the curtains. Griffin wouldn't listen to any of us as we attempted to talk to him and get down to his level etc..... so then I knew that the only thing that was going to work was to take him outside again to the truck this time.

I strapped him in the car seat and we sat in the truck until my Mom and sister came out with my meal that I didn't get a chance to eat and some extra cupcakes to take home. So we only waited about 30 minutes in the truck but we still had to drive back to the town where my brother lives to his house to get a gift that he was giving to my Mom for Mother's Day, a weeping cherry tree that she had wanted for years. Anyhow, the kids played with Griffin again this time running around in the yard by this time it was dark and the mosquitoes were biting, the crickets were singing, and the sound of laughter filled the air. It was then about 8:30 p..m. and we finally got on the road once again. Now we had started out at the fire station around 10:00 a.m. and here it was right at Griffin's bedtime and he showed no sign of fatigue whatsoever. He sang on the way home and drank water (his favorite beverage) and ate Pringles (his favorite snack) which he only gets while in the truck.

We finally arrived home at 10:15 p.m. and I immediately gave him his meds for sleep, the Clonidine, and within about 45 minutes he was out but he didn't go down easily he kept fighting the fatigue the entire time. Next time we go on a road trip like that I will take his medicine with us so that he can stay on schedule and get to sleep on time. I don't know what I could have done differently at the party other than remove him from the situation and from being so over-stimulated. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions of what I could have done differently I would appreciate it.

Thank you ahead of time for your comments. I had a relaxing Mother's Day and I hope that yours was as well. Hugs to all my friends who always comment and support me, especially those of you who send me e-mail.

Happy Mother's Day To You

I think that my Zoloft is working well for me and I am feeling much better lately.......YEAH! Griffin is doing great and being his adorable self as usual. Tonight when my Mom got him out of the tub and was combing his hair he said, "Nana, I gotta fix my hair for the girls" and then gave a laugh and of course we laughed with him. Tomorrow we go to North Carolina to visit my sister and her family, it's my niece's birthday celebration so that should be fun. There's just not much to talk about right now that's why I haven't posted. Everything is going well for us and I should have more to talk about after this weekend. I don't know what we are doing on Mother's Day but it will be nice to be with my Mother because I haven't spent a Mother's Day with her for many many years. I hope that all of you, my blogging friends, have a wonderful Mother's Day! May it be even more special than last year and much more memorable as well.