It's Time to Go

I'm feeling so overwhelmed because I have so much to do and I just don't know how I am going to get it all done in time. It sure would be nice if I had some help! I don't even have time to sit here and compose an entry. Gotta run, Griffin will soon be here and then we've got to go to speech. I am shipping my computer tomorrow so I doubt that I will have time to write again before we leave so GOODBYE EVERYONE for now and see you when we get to South Carolina. Stay well my friends and love & hugs to you all! Wish us a safe journey and NO meltdowns.

Happy Friday

Well, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving and we are truly blessed with dear friends who really care about us. I hope that all of you had a great time as well. Griffin played both alone and somewhat with other children. He has this propensity towards playing with little kiddos, those much smaller than he and when he is near them he totally interacts with them face to face. It is so darn cute to watch. He will bend over in an attempt to get down to their size, look them straight in the face, and begin talking to them and often trying to hug them as well. I think that I can safely say that he is "playing" with them when attempting to do this and I believe that I can also say that this is progress as far as socialization goes.

Sorry for not having any pictures of Griffin, I think that the last one that I took was of Griffin in the snow out on our deck however, I don't have anymore because I have not been taking photos with the digital camera. I hope to remember it before we leave and take some unforgettable pics of Alaska and my little precious kiddo.

That's all for now folks, have a happy Friday and a wonderful weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!~ Unknown

Just Waiting

I'm just waiting now until it's time to do the last minute packing and cleaning. Griffin is doing well, no more signs of him knowing that something is up. He's been acting quite himself, the happy little camper that he is, and still showing signs of great progress. Today he is a bit hyper but I am glad that he is active and playing well on his own because we are staying inside all day due to the freezing cold temps. It's a good thing that there's not much to do because I am feeling really unmotivated today. I should be doing something productive but instead I am going to catch up on reading/commenting on all your blogs. I have missed reading what's going on in your lives and with your kiddos. Lately, I have been feeling anxious and stressed out over this move especially the closer it gets to the 2nd day of December. I worry too much, I'm sure but I can't help but wonder if I will get my stuff done in time and have my apartment cleaned out in time to get my deposit back. That's $700.00 I could certainly use as I will have no income once we are in South Carolina. I worry too that Griffin is going to have a major meltdown once we are on the airplane and I won't have any help unless complete strangers help me like last flight we had back in April when we went to go visit my family. We shall see I suppose, I can only hope for the best and be prepared for the worst, that's my philosophy anyways. As I mentioned before, it is exceptionally cold here and clear/sunny which is always conducive to a good mood but not so easy on the body since the clear skies make it even colder. We haven't had any fresh snow for weeks now and I would like to see some nice new powder before we leave so that I could get some great pictures and because it tends to be warmer when it snows.

Griffin is Beginning to Notice

Griffin is beginning to show signs of not understanding what is going on even though I have explained it to him I still don't think that he gets it. This morning he woke up disoriented and crying. He couldn't figure out what it was exactly that he wanted even though he was trying to tell me, I just couldn't understand him. It finally passed and he got over it and eventually was his happy little self again but I can't help but to think that he did that because of all the changes around the apartment. For the most part our routine is the same and he seems to be doing okay at school at least as far as I know, Kathleen hasn't written anything to me to indicate that he is having any trouble there. This afternoon he seems to be fine too playing on his own, laughing, and talking as usual.

It is so very cold here, presently it is 12 degrees with a wind chill factor of -5 but because of the wind it feels much colder than that actually. My apartment's heat is not working right and it won't heat up beyond 70 degrees which sounds like it is fine but my hands are very cold and so are Griffin's. I have the thermostat turned up past 80 degrees but it won't budge. I am concerned that the colder it gets outside the colder it is going to get in here. I told the landlord and all he could say was that the apartment needs more insulation (which he is going to take care of after we leave) and that 70 degrees is not so bad so in other words, he isn't going to do anything about it. He also stated that the heater wasn't working hard enough to pump out the necessary warmth that would be necessary to heat the apartment. I don't have a space heater nor do I think it is wise to go out and purchase one when we are about to leave. So, I think that I am going to ask him if he has one that I can borrow.

As far as the packing goes I have packed up all that I can for now of all the stuff that we are not using presently and the ARC/thrift store is picking up the donations tomorrow thank goodness. I am so ready for all this stuff to be out of here and not be piled up in the kitchen floor and in the closet. I am ready to clean up and get the last minute stuff packed up and sent.

That's all for now folks, I am going to attempt to get some of your blogs read tonight so hopefully I can catch up on what is going on with you all.

So Much To Do!

I just can't believe how much stuff I have got to pack, throw away, and to donate, it is so overwhelming! This apartment looks like a cyclone has been through here. I have sent already 8 boxes and still have 7 boxes to go. That doesn't include the stuff that's left for the last minute such as toys, clothes, and Griffin's VHS tapes that I plan to send. Talk about expensive, it's a good thing that I have enough money to send this stuff or I would have to donate things that mean a great deal to me. I have been asked by several different people if Griffin has noticed that things are different, if he realizes that we are moving or not. As far as I can tell he is clueless and is acting just as he usually does. I plan on explaining it to him just in case he can understand the concept but I think that as well as I know Griffin he will not react to things being different until it is time to get on the airplane then I believe he will definitely show signs of protest and have a meltdown. I truly hope that he does not get upset and feel overwhelmed, I have a book of PECS that Kathleen made for him for traveling on an airplane from our last trip that should help him to adjust. It is my hope that he will be calm and relaxed because I plan on giving him the Clonidine to help him sleep. We are scheduled to leave in the wee hours of the morning and have our first layover where I hope to be able to meet our friends who we have never met before in person, only through the internet and through phone calls. I am so excited to get to meet them finally. Well, it is time to get back to packing and cleaning, I will keep you updated and let you know what is going on when I am not too busy packing and stuff. I may not have time to stop by your blogs, sorry, but I plan to catch up once we are in SC.

Griffin In The Snow

This picture is for Big Brother. He wanted to see the snow in Alaska so here is Griffin in the snow out on our deck. I will be taking more pictures before we leave because as much as I hate driving in it I sure am going to miss the snow. Maybe we will make a snowman for you Big Brother. How would you like that?

Nothing going on really, just being a hermit as usual in the winter and getting my packing done, throwing away a lot, and have tons of stuff to donate. I do have a funny story to share about something that Griffin said at school, Kathleen told me about it yesterday. She said that they have been taking their lunches from the lunchroom and into the classroom to eat and that the milk is taken away from the children at the beginning of the meal so that the kids don't fill up on milk before they have a chance to eat. So, the kids were walking into the classroom with their meals/milk and Griffin looked up at Ed (the teacher's aide) and declared, "Why don't you take my milk, Ed!" and Ed replied, "Well, I think I will Griffin thank you!" so Griffin said, "No problem". For Griffin to use language like that is amazing, that's what makes it so funny. He just seems so mature when he talks like that and I am so proud of him.

Griffin is doing very well, his vocabulary has expanded over the last few weeks and he is beginning to ask questions such as: What are you doing? Why not? and What's that? This is great progress for him and I am very proud that he has made such improvement lately.

I am, on the otherhand, kind of a mess during the day when there is so much to do. There are things to pack, throw away, and donate. There are errands to run, places to go and phone calls to make. I just feel so overwhelmed even though I have a list that I check off as I go I still wonder how the heck I am going to get everything done in time for the move. I am hoping to be out of here by December 1st but somehow a month just doesn't seem like long enough to get all these things done. Does anyone know how I feel? Have you had to move in a short period of time and felt overwhelmed? I would love to hear from you and read your stories about moving, it would be a most pleasant distraction and a great source of support for me.

We got our first snow today, not much just a dusting of snow, and I look forward to getting a huge load of it before we have to leave because I am going to miss it. We won't be seeing any snow in S.C. that's for sure but there may be a teensy bit of it in N.C. when I go up to visit my brother and sister there. Unlike southcental Alaska (Anchorage) the snow is very wet in N.C. when they do get it and it is bitter cold because of the moisture in the air but here in Alaska it is quite dry and when it gets way down on the thermometer it doesn't feel so cold. Of course there are people who would beg to differ but for me it is easily tolerated with just a sweater and a jacket.

Tagged!

1.Things that scare me
-Griffin being hurt/taken by someone
-Falling into water while in a car
-Griffin getting loose from me and running into traffic

2.People who make me laugh
-Griffin
-Mom
-Dad

3.Things I hate the most
-People chewing with their mouths open
-Exhaust fumes
-Being depressed

4.Things I don't understand
-Lack of compassion
-How someone could harm a child
-Griffin's babble

5.Things I am doing right now
-Watching the dog and cat play together
-Listening to the news
-Missing Griffin, he just got on the bus, but enjoying the peacefulness.

6.Things I want to do before I die
-To own at least one horse
-Make sure that Griffin is set for life
-Grow very old

7.Things I can do
-Multi-task
-Paint
-Sculpt

8.Ways to describe my personality
-Considerate
-Loving
-Flexible

9.Things I can't do
-Listen to someone talk to me while the t.v. is on
-Sing
-Eat pork, I'm allergic to it

10.Things I think that you should listen to
-The crickets on a summer's night
-Elderly people
-Your children

11.Things you should never listen to
-Gossip
-Negative self-talk
-Propaganda

12.Things I'd like to learn
-How to write a book
-More foreign languages
-More and more about Griffin & autism

13.Favorite foods
-Anything/everything Greek
-My mom's potato salad
-Godiva ice cream

14.Beverages I drink regularly
-Water
-Coffee
-Red wine

15.Shows I watched as a kid
-The Flintstones
-The Brady Bunch
-Starsky and Hutch

16.Persons I am tagging to do this meme
-Tina
-Christina
-Melissa H.

Top 10 Terrific Traits of Autistic People

If you're sick of hearing about all the "deficits" challenging people on the autism spectrum, join the club! But for every down side to autism, there seems to be a positive -- an unusual trait that rarely appears among the "typical" community, but shines out among autistic folk. These plusses are well worth celebrating.

1) Autistic People Rarely Lie
We all claim to value the truth, but almost all of us tell little white lies. All, that is, except people on the autism spectrum. To them, truth is truth -- and a good word from a person on the spectrum is the real deal.
2) People on the Autism Spectrum Live in the Moment
How often do typical people fail to notice what's in front of their eyes because they're distracted by social cues or random chitchat? People on the autism spectrum truely attend to the sensory input that surrounds them. Many have achieved the ideal of mindfulness.
3) People with Autism Rarely Judge Others
Who's fatter? Richer? Smarter? For people on the autism spectrum, these distinctions hold much less importance than for typical folks. In fact, people on the spectrum often see through such surface appearances to discover the real person.
4) Autistic People are Passionate
Of course, not all autistic people are alike. But many are truly passionate about the things, ideas and people in their lives. How many "typical" people can say the same?
5) People with Autism Are Not Tied to Social Expectations
If you've ever bought a car, played a game or joined a club to fit in, you know how hard it is to be true to yourself. But for people with autism, social expectations can be honestly irrelevant. What matters is true liking, interest and passion -- not keeping up with the Joneses.
6) People with Autism Have Terrific Memories
How often do typical people forget directions, or fail to take note of colors, names, and other details? People on the autism spectrum are often much more tuned in to details. They may have a much better memory than their typical peers for all kind of critical details.
7) Autistic People Are Less Materialistic
Of course, this is not universally true -- but in general, people with autism are far less concerned with outward appearance than their typical peers. As a result, they worry less about brand names, hairstyles and other expensive but unimportant externals than most people do.
8) Autistic People Play Fewer Head Games
Who was that woman, and why were you looking at her? I know I TOLD you I didn't mind if you went out, but why did you believe me? Most autistic people don't play games like these -- and they assume that you won't either. It's a refreshing and wonderful change from the Peyton Place emotional roller coaster that mars too many typical relationships!
9) Autistic People Have Fewer Hidden Agendas
Most of the time, if a person on the autism spectrum tells you what he wants -- he is telling you what he wants. No need to beat around the bush, second guess, and hope you're reading between the lines!
10) People with Autism Open New Doors for Neurotypicals
For some of us neurotypicals, having an autistic person in our lives has had a profound positive impact on our perceptions, beliefs and expectations. For me, at least, being the mom of a son on the autism spectrum has released me from a lifetime of "should" -- and offered me a new world of "is."
By: Lisa Jo Rudy

Today Was A Good Day

Just a short post to let you know that today was a good day, the sun was shining and I came into some money that I didn't expect to get and now I can buy the S.A.D. light that I so desperately need. Griffin is doing great as well and I think that he senses when I am feeling better because he seems so much happier. Maybe it's just my perception of the situation that comes into play but I could swear that he was squirrelly today because mommy was in such a great mood. He didn't do much in speech today because he had a hard time focusing but hey, he is allowed to have his off days too and I am just grateful that he is such a happy kiddo most all the time. I notice that when I am depressed and having a bad day that he tends to act out a bit more but if I talk to him and keep my wits about me then he will straighten up. Anyhow, I wanted to thank all of you for your great support and all your kind words, it helps me even more than you could ever know. There's a rough road ahead of me and I know that I can get through it because of you! I love you guys! Take care, and have a great day!

Depression Had Kicked IN

If you look closely you can see the snow on the mountain tops and it is just a matter of time before it gets down here. We have had so much rain and gloom that it has kicked in my depression early this year. On top of that, it is getting really dark earlier and earlier. I wake up and it's dark and that is depressing! My ANP (Advanced Nurse Practioner) told me that I am not a candidate for anti-depressants because of all the undesirable reactions/side effects that I have had in the past. So this year I am winging it and I am on my own with my depression. She recommended that I get a S.A.D. light but the darn things are just too expensive, I simply cannot afford one right now. So, wish me luck and cross your fingers for me that I don't end up in the Crisis Treatment Center like I did last year. I just can't wait to move gosh darnit! I sure do wish that I would hear something from Social Security soon. It is way past the deadline for a hearing but who knows, they do things in their own time not when ya want it or need it to happen. For those of you who may not have read my previous posts, I applied for SSDI and am awaiting a hearing and we're fast approaching the 2 year mark. I just want to be near my family and to feel happy again and I am NOT looking forward to seeing the snow. It rained all frickin' summer and now it is already in the low to mid 40's and will be freezing very soon. If it seems like I am complaining then you would have guessed it correctly because I feel like hell and I desperately want to feel good again. I wish you all a great day and hopefully the sun is shining where you are. Sorry for the gloomy mood I wish that I could just switch it off :(

Swimming for the First Time

This is a picture of Griffin petting the little piglets at the Alaska State Fair's petting zoo. I think that he had a grand time on that day, I will be showing more photos in the next few posts. Griffin had swimming on Friday at OT and on Saturday's swim lesson at one of our local high schools. Both times he did a great job going under the water and jumping into the pool with no fear whatsoever. At OT he actually "swam" for the very first time all by himself. It's true that he was just treading water but he did it without any kind of assistance, no floatation device or anything! Gayle let go of him and he smiled and paddled his legs and arms like crazy trying desperately to keep his head above water and he did and I am so very proud of him. Griffin has been getting hyper after swimming lately and I cannot figure out why. It is unusual for him to become so full of energy in the evening and one would think that he would be tired after swimming but it seems to invigorate him. Does anyone have any idea why this might happen? Along with the extra energy that he has he also misbehaves by getting into everything and driving mommy bonkers. As a rule Griffin is a mellow sort of guy who typically behaves and plays nicely on his own but when he is "energized" he bounces off the walls and leaves no stone unturned, always looking for something to get into. I welcome any ideas or comments that you might have about why this might happen and what I might try to do to help him through it. Have a great day all of you and thanks for your comments!!!!

Occupational Therapy with Gayle

Griffin loves his numbers so much that he has had to fall asleep with them. Today was OT with Gayle and I think that Griffin had a blast. First, there was movement where Griffin went down a slide on a scooterboard 5 times then he got to play a Teletubbie's floor game followed by a snack of one fuzzy peach. Finally there was the crafts where Griffin got to put paint all over his forearm in order to paint a tree trunk and then all over his hands to make the leaves, now with this he really had a good time........there was paint everywhere, hee hee. The really nice part is that Griffin seemed to listen to Gayle really well and mostly because she has a way of talking to him that helps him to understand and comply. So, Gayle, you are our hero and we love you very much. Thank you for helping Griffin to progress so nicely with each and every session. Oh yes and what else is really cool is that Gayle continued with the WH questions and asked Griffin some WHY questions like, "Why do you have a mouth (ears, eyes, nose, etc.....)?" and he answered most of them but the important part is that she is continuing on with what the SLP is working on because she had read it on the blog. Hugs to you Gayle!!!!!!

WH questions

This is really simple but a big deal to me.......When the SLP was asking Griffin WH questions he was doing okay especially on the What and Who but the When and Why questions were much more challenging. What impressed me the most is the one Why question that he did answer, "Why do butterflies have wings?" he promptly replied, "So they can fly!" I am just thrilled with that!!! Yes it was only one Why question and answer but he met the challenge head on and conquered it! YEAH Griffin, you're my little champ!

Results of my sleep study/Dick and Jane

As it turns out the hypersomnia (excessive daytime sleepiness) that I have is the results of my medication, the doc said that I am taking way too much (twice the recommended dosage) because the sleep study showed that I am getting adequet sleep and do not have obstructive sleep apnea. The nap study showed that I am indeed excessively sleepy during the day because it took me only an average of 6 minutes to go to sleep/nap. So, I will go to see my ANP on Tuesday and adjust my medication and see if we can nip this stuff in the bud.

While we were shopping I picked up a Dick and Jane book to see if Griffin could read it and sure enough he was reading it like a pro, no real surprise there but he read it with such fluency now, THAT surprised me! I couldn't decide whether I should get it or not but finally figured that if he read it with such ease then he would likely get bored with it so I didn't get it. Besides, I am not sure that he was understanding what he was reading which is equally as important as the reading is. Maybe I will look for something that is a bit more challenging and has more meaning to it that is relevant to his life/living. I believe that a book that talks about practical everyday stuff would have more meaning than "Help Jane Help, Help, Help." Some of the pharses were relevant to his life but in general it wasn't. If anyone has a suggestion of a book or books that would be useful and have relevant words in it I would greatly appreciate it. I am thinking about just writing a book with words about his day to day life and throwing in some really challenging words here and there.

Take care my friends and hope that you have a splendid day!!!!

I just got back from my sleep study and haven't found out anything yet. I have an appointment on Thursday with the doctor to find out the results. I will keep you posted. It was really weird because I had to take a nap every two hours during the day and I was still dozing off while sitting in the chair watching television. It's quite perplexing so, we shall see how it goes. Hope that everyone has a great weekend and I'll try to keep the blog current and let you know what's going on. Griffin is doing great. He has been saying "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome" almost all the time now, it's so cute.

Going in for a Sleep Study

I am going in tomorrow night to have a sleep study done because I have been having excessive daytime sleepiness for months now maybe even years but my memory is so poor that I don't even remember how long it's been. Whenever I read no matter how alert I am I still fall asleep. I don't mean that I fall asleep and then take a nap, it's like I fall asleep for just a few seconds and then wake up and then it just keeps happening over and over. When I sit for a period of time and even when I am talking to someone it happens then too. I hope that it makes sense how I explained it. Anyhow, it is potentially dangerous because it has happened when I was driving too so I am finally having this sleep study done to determine if I have Narcolepsy or not. I hope that I don't because the only treatment for it is essentially "speed" or amphetimines whatever you want to call them. I can't take those kinds of meds because I am bipolar and it would only enhance my mania. Hopefully it is just a side effect of my medication but there is the possiblity that I have Narcolepsy because my aunt was just diagnosed with it but I don't know if it is hereditary or not. The only time that it doesn't happen is when I am standing up but otherwise I get sleepy as if someone has just tranquilized me and I am fighting it off. So wish me luck with that. Griffin is doing great and just completed his testing in speech. Both Lisa and I were amazed at his receptive language and how well he answered open ended questions. I sure will miss him while I am at the sleep study because it will be one night and a full day on Friday but it has to be done before we move because I don't know if medicaid will cover something like that in South Carolina. Still no word on my disability hearing, just waiting it out.

Spelling Like Nobody's Business

Griffin has been spelling like crazy and here he has spelled "Stomp, (The name of the show which I think was on Broadway), Sesame Stret DVD and vedeo" then he spelled "Entertainment" on a sheet of paper he wrote, "Barney Can you sing that song?" complete with the question mark. I'm so proud of my little genius.......What else can I say?

We Are Moving

I have thought about it long and hard and finally come to the conclusion that we are in fact going to move to South Carolina to be with my family. It was not an easy decision to make because Griffin is getting some of the best education that he could possibly have in the nation here. Kathleen has been such an awesome teacher and I just know that wherever we go that nothing will compare to what she has done for him. I could be wrong, and I hope that I am, but it's just a feeling that I have. Nevertheless, what's most important at this point in time is that we are close to our family and have the support that is so desperately needed. I don't want a repeat of last December when I had to go to the Crisis Treatment Center because my depression had gotten so bad. My mental health is tantamount to his education because I have to take care of myself before I can be a good mother to Griffin. As much as I love Alaska, and it will be a sad day indeed, I must leave here because the weather and the lack of sunlight in the winter just gets me down too bad. Not that it is going to be all peachy keen to move to SC because it's not my ideal climate either. The summers will be exceptionally difficult for me because of the heat and the humidity but at least it won't trigger my depression. With age Griffin is becoming more and more difficult to deal with and I am increasingly having a hard time caring for him in the manner in which he needs to be. Because of his meltdowns and doing the limp noodle and refusing to leave the apartment it is not just a source of frustration but a major obstacle in our daily routine. It seems as though I am trying to justify our leaving and this is not my intention because I feel like, in my heart and soul, this is truly the best decision for not just me but also for Griffin in the long and short term. Between my parents and I we can supplement his schooling with homework and hopefully with private OT and Speech. I don't know how good the medicaid system is down there but I am hoping that it will be comparable although I have heard that it is not even. It will be at least 2-3 months before we will be able to move so that I have plenty of time to get things organized and send items down there ahead of time. Also I am waiting for my disability hearing for Social Security and I don't know if it will be favorable or not but either way we are moving. Griffin will adjust quite easily and quickly I believe because he did so well when we went down there in April for a visit. I'm following my intuition on this and I have a good feeling about it.