Griffin's IEP/Transition Meeting

I was so impressed with how smoothly the meeting went, everyone was so professional and organized. Finally, an IEP meeting that went as well as the ones did in Anchorage. A woman from the South Carolina Autism Society went there to help me out and I am so glad that she did, she asked some very important questions that I wouldn't have thought of like a summer program within the community for Griffin. It just so happened that the speech path. knew of a summer program at one of the nearby churches, don't know if it is for special needs children or not but they're getting the information to me soon. Here is just a little bit of what is on his IEP:

Academic Achievement:
Speech: According to speech sample and therapist observation, Griffin can correctly produce all age appropriate speech sounds.He has made some improvements in using correct voicing; however, he still needs to work on producing audible speech in conversation. His language has also improved, but he still has difficulty answering wh questions and initiating conversation. He also needs to work on decreasing echolalia and making choices.
Cognitive: Griffin can name and give the sounds of 26 letters of the alphabet, he can read simple words, he can give the name of 4 coins, can count rote to 49, he is emerging in simple sequencing.
Motor: Griffin can write numbers 1-19, draw recognizable pictures, write his full name and cut shapes out with scissors.
Language:Griffin is emerging in sequencing, tells definition of concrete sounds, rhyming simple words and tells use of senses.

All in all it was one of the best IEP meetings that I have attended for Griffin and I am looking forward to him going to his new classroom in August. His new teacher Ms. H is such an awesome teacher, she is so sweet and always smiling when I see her. Here's the really good news...........Griffin will be mainstreamed for part of the day to attend library, regular PE, art, and computer class with the kindergarten classroom. I am so thrilled that he is finally going to go into a regular ed. class for at least part of the day in the beginning and depending on how well he does he will also attend the classroom as time goes on. Everyone there agreed that he is quite the little genius and that it will be a task to challenge him daily. He only needs one time to see a task executed to complete it himself but on the other side of the coin, his weakness is that he likes to say "NO" quite often and that he has a hard time making choices like on the smart board or when it comes to having too many to choose from. He needs to work on walking in line in a timely fashion and sharing/waiting for his turn. I feel confident that he will master all that is put before him, maybe even over the summer while working with Ms. A. He might just thrive and progress throughout the summer and excel beyond all expectations. She is an incredible woman/educator and I am so grateful that she is with us.

Nothing about me this entry because I get tired of talking about myself so it's off I go to have dinner and to get Griffin in the bed. Take care everyone!!!!!

Griffin Talks To A Little Girl......Yipee!

Here is Griffin with his afternoon bus driver she is so sweet and Griffin, she reports,he is always talking to her as she is driving along. Yesterday while I in my therapy appointment my Mom took Griffin to the playground. While they were there Griffin went up to a little girl and asked her what her name was and how old she was then he followed her around through the maze. I was so thrilled to hear this and I am so proud of him because he usually doesn't speak to children but will often speak to adults out in public. It is such a huge step for him to take to do this and I am looking forward to him interacting with children much more frequently.

Lately Griffin has not been doing so well with the toilet training, he hasn't done well since Spring Break I think that the change in schedule threw him off. Now he is totally refusing to go even when he is escorted to the bathroom. I have taken away his privileges and let him know that he could resume playing with the computer or watching tv once he uses the toilet but that doesn't seem to work, he just doesn't seem to care if he gets to do those things or not. So, I wonder if he even understands the whole concept, I told him that he needs to use the toilet like a big boy but it doesn't seem to phase him. He does not respond to rewards such as a treat so I don't know what to do. I am open to ideas and comments on this matter because I am once again stuck . Maybe it is that he just needs to get back into his routine and start using the toilet again in his own time. Maybe I am trying to push him too much. It is so frustrating because I just don't know if I am doing the right thing. Otherwise he is doing really well and his behavior has improved markedly especially since I have been telling him "no yelling" when he raises his voice.

Griffin's IEP/transition meeting is coming up and the parent mentor from the SC Autism Society will be there to help me out. I am looking forward to it because I am excited for him to start school in the fall and hopefully be mainstreamed at least half a day, we shall see how it goes. I have heard wonderful things about the teacher that he will have in the fall and I can't wait to meet with her. She is apparently a stellar educator and outstanding person but her classroom is just a special needs class and is not specific to autism so I think that Griffin will be bored in there and not feel challenged although my assumptions could be wrong. I will keep you posted on how it goes. Tomorrow Ms. A comes to visit and Griffin will have new Spanish words to learn, he can count to 20 in Spanish now and to 100 in English. Did I mention how proud I was of him?

Griffin and Jade

I just love this picture of Griffin and my parent's dog named Jade, he adores her and loves to give her affection. Here they are both sitting in Griffin's car seat we put Jade in the truck while sitting in the driveway so that Griffin could hold her and give her hugs.

I went to the doctor (psychiatrist) and he was really cool I liked him a lot. We both decided that trying an anti-depressant along with the existing mood stabilizer will help my depression. Some of the symptoms that I had been having were not necessarily just the medication but also the depression. Today is my third day on the Zoloft and I can already tell a difference, I'm so excited to be feeling better. I'm looking forward to a brighter/happier/healthier future.

Griffin's behavior has improved since my last post, we have been telling him "NO yelling" and he has been using an inside voice as a result. We have learned to correct him, teach him that there are consequences to his actions, and also ignoring his insistent behavior which seems to cause it to dissipate after a short period of time. I am just not going to let him push my buttons and manipulate me because I have figured out that it's not a sensory issue. If it was a sensory issue he would not respond to my correction, he would just get worse with time instead of getting better. I don't think that I am being cruel or anything I think that I am not allowing him to become a "little stinker" and act out. As he grows older I will have to distinguish between sensory and acting out and perhaps it will become more difficult and challenging but I guess that I will just have to do my best and rely on the help of my friends and all the useful advice that is available to me.

The weather is very nice here in the high 60's and 70's, ideal weather I think. Since taking the new medication I have had the motivation to take Griffin for a walk outside and enjoy the weather. I have been spending less time at the computer so I haven't been reading blogs again........sorry folks. I will get around to it because it's important to me, hope that you are all doing well and that you have a great weekend.

Late Egg Hunt and Behavioral Issues

My sister and her family came down from North Carolina to visit this past weekend and it was so nice because it has been awhile since we have seen them. Pictured here is my sister and Griffin coloring Easter eggs. Yes, we celebrated our Easter again with them because they didn't get to come and visit on Easter. Griffin loved coloring the eggs and especially loved hunting them afterwards. On Easter Sunday we were at my brother's house and did not hide the eggs for Griffin because I was concerned that he would get into the habit of hiding the eggs from the fridge in the future but I decided to take a chance this time and I guess that we will see how it goes.

I am so grateful that I have a child who is capable of doing such regular things such as searching for Easter eggs. I make sure that I don't take for granted the little things in life and with Griffin. When we were at the Special Olympics I most definitely counted my blessings because there were children there with different abilities than Griffin and some were having much more of a challenge with simple tasks. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't look at my beautiful son and count my lucky stars. He has been having some behavioral changes going on lately and I wonder what it has to do with. It has been suggested that the changes could have to do with the climate change but I don't know. I have also read that the changes in behavior could have to do with the full moon but I don't know which phase the moon is in, guess I should get a farmer's almanac. These changes in his mood/behavior seem to be more nuero-typical than anything else. He seems to be acting out like a misbehaved child rather than having some kind of sensory issue or something that might be related to his autism. Griffin will yell and say things over and over until he gets the reaction that he wants or until I let him wear himself out doing it. I have not let him get the reaction that he was seeking but once because I don't want him to get into the habit of doing that in order to get what he wants. What do you think? Is my child being a real brat or do you think that maybe I am misinterpreting his actions and that he could legitimately be having some sort of meltdown? Yesterday I just let him go about it for awhile and then as he began to calm down I re-directed him and that seemed to work well. I am up for suggestions and would greatly appreciate your comments. Have you had an experience where your child has acted like a brat rather than acting/being autistic? How does one determine the difference? I have said in the past that Griffin usually conducts himself more as a NT child than an autistic child and for the most part that is true but it can be confusing when it comes to behavior and behavior modification. Please let me know what you think.

Thanks ahead of time for your comments and hope that you have a fantastic week!

The Special Olympics

Unfortuanely this is the only picture that came out because all the others were way too light....bummer. Here Griffin is running on the track because he had so much fun running a few minutes earlier that he wanted to do it again. He especially loved the tennis ball throw, he laughed and laughed and just kept throwing them over and over. He did the bean bag toss several times too. It was great because Griffin didn't seem to mind the huge crowd and all the comotion going on, there were so many children there and older kids too. It was such an amazing experience to be surrounded by so many smiling faces and to hear all the laughter was something I will never forget. Griffin's teacher explained that Anderson county was the only county in the state that had developmental games for children under the age of 8 yrs. and for that I am grateful because I think that it was a great experience for Griffin and it's exciting that he will be able to go back next time too. Another thing that was really cool is that Griffin recognized and named all of his classmates who were there, although he showed no interest in interacting with them I think it was cool that he did remember them by name. If you ever get the chance to go to the Special Olympics please go because it is such a wonderful and heartwarming experience. I actually got a lump in my throat several times just because I felt a connection with the kids there and was so proud that my little fella was participating in a very honorable and prestigious event.

Our Trip To North Carolina

Unfortunately I forgot my camera but I took pics with my new camera phone which I incidentally do not have a usb cord for so I cannot upload the pictures to the computer, what a bummer. When I do get the usb cord then I will share the wonderful pictures that I took. Anyhow, Griffin and I went to N.C. to visit with my brother, his wife, and their two kids who are age 10 yrs. and 15 yrs. Griffin had a grand time playing with them, it was nice for all of us because the kids had so much energy to really play with Griffin to the point of wearing them out. Griffin of course cannot be worn down but he sure did seem to have a great time with them. The weather was pretty cold and it snowed our first night there, not much but nevertheless it was cold. Because it was cold we didn't do a whole lot on Saturday but we did go out to eat at a really nice Mexican restaurant and then later got some homemade ice cream at an old fashioned ice cream salon (I think that's what they are called). We went to the toy store and played around for a long time, we kept on trying on different hats on Griffin and taking pictures with my new camera phone. I can't wait to share the pictures with you all.

We are planning for Griffin to go to the Special Olympics on Thursday, that is if it doesn't rain so I will have some great pics from that as well. Cross your fingers for us that it doesn't rain us out.

I haven't written in quite awhile because I simply haven't spent that much time at the computer but then again it is partly because I don't really have that much to share with you as of late. I am also behind on reading blogs and commenting so I apologize and I plan to catch up real soon. I miss reading about what all of you are doing and letting you know that I am thinking of you.

Griffin's New E.I.

Griffin has a new Early Interventionist and she is fantastic! Her name is Ms. A and he responds really well to her. Ms. A is bi-lingual which comes in quite handy because lately Griffin has been most interested in Spanish and it just so happens that is what her specialty is. They worked with numbers to twenty in Spanish, flash cards, and other everyday objects and he did quite well saying the Spanish words each and every time with great enthusiasm.

Griffin has been playing his educational computer games quite a bit lately instead of watching TV and this thrills me to no end because he has learned so much from them. I just love to hear him laugh and repeat what the games say like, "I knew that you could do it. Great job!" He doesn't seem to be doing it in a scripting sort of way, he is just repeating it in context each time they say it in the game but not when the game is not on. So I don't think that he is scripting.

That's about it there's nothing more to write about mostly because I can't think of anything not necessarily because nothing has happened. I guess that you could say that I have writer's block rather than there's not a thing going on in our lives. I hope that you all are doing very well and leave a comment for me if you will about whether or not your child using scripting.

Griffin Is Better

Griffin is running around and seems to be back to his old self again and the amazing part of it is that he didn't take his antibiotics........none of them. Even though I tried to put the powder of the capsule in some food (like chocolate pudding) he still wouldn't eat it and I tried various other foods too and he wouldn't eat any of them, not even a bite. I am so glad that he got better without the help of the antibiotics because that means that his immune system is very strong and he won't be building up a resistance to them for the future. He could have gotten the shot that lasts 10 days but the doctor didn't recommend it unless it was an emergency, he thought that Griffin's natural immunities would do the trick even if he didn't take the medicine and he was right! Now I have some kind of virus it's just a head and chest cold and I am taking Musinex which is helping me tremendously. Otherwise there isn't much to report except that the weather is divine! It is 82 degrees today and I am enjoying it as much as I possibly can like going out on the deck to read a book. I am looking forward to feeling better and taking Griffin to the playground and/or to the neighbor's house where she has a swing set so he can play. I hope that the higher temperature doesn't mean that it is going to be super hot early on this year because I am NOT looking forward to the swealtering hot/humid weather, oh well we shall see. How's the weather where you are? I hope that all of you are doing very well.

Griffin Has Strep

I don't know what it is but ever since we got here in December Griffin has been so sick it seems one illness after another and now it is strep. He was never so sick in Alaska and certainly never had strep before. I don't know if it is because parents here have been sending their sick children to school or if he is picking it up at the grocery store. I need some ideas of what to do to get him to eat because the poor little fella just won't and can't seem to eat anything, I know that his throat hurts really bad but I've got to get the medicine in him somehow. The doc prescribed a medicine in capsule form and said that we could open it up and use the powder in food but if he's not wanting anything then I don't know how we're gonna get it in him. Thank goodness he is drinking lots of water and he hasn't lost any weight yet. So, if anyone has ideas of what kind of food to try that might entice him I would love to hear it. He is sleeping a lot which is good because he certainly needs the rest and his spirits are high in spite of all the pain he is in.......that's my little trooper!!!!

I Want To Change My Medication

I have shared so much about myself and my challenges with my Bipolar Disorder so much that I feel like I can write this and be honest and not have to worry about being thought of as "crazy", at least not by my blogger friends. I have been thinking a lot lately about how my life has been while taking this medication "Abilify" and it has not been a bed of roses that's for sure. It has been brought to my attention by those closest to me that I look and act like I am stoned/on drugs (like street drugs). I have realized that I have NO motivation for anything at all, not things that I used to enjoy like art, photography, exercise, and stuff as simple as watching movies/TV. I feel as though I am just existing and going through the motions of living. Before taking this medication I was full of life and sometimes anxiety too but nevertheless I was for the most part living a full life. Now I truly feel disabled, I mean , it is an effort for me just to take a shower or groom myself as I used to and to me that is really sad. I have made the decision that I am going to ask the doctor(psychiatrist) that I see on the 21st to change my meds for me. Hopefully he/she will cooperate with me and let me try something different. I am so tired of living this way and moving around like a three-toed sloth. It is disabling me not helping me to be more productive or to be an active member of society, I feel paralyzed. All I do all day is to sit down in front of the computer when Griffin is not in need of help with his schedule and do basically nothing of worth here. You'd think that I would be writing in the blog each day as much as I sit here but I do not because once again..........I simply do not have the motivation to do anything productive or meaningful in my life. I do miss my therapist and my ANP in Anchorage and I wish that I could get their opinion on my decision but alas, I cannot :( I will be at the mercy of this new doctor and I can only hope against all hope that he/she will be understanding and help me out. Maybe I shouldn't be so candid on this blog but it is my outlet, my journal of sorts and I feel that I will get support or at least some advice from my friends that will help me to do what is best for me. I just don't think that there is any quality of life present nor do I feel like I am being the best mother that I could be to Griffin. This where my candor ends and my journey begins. I will ask you to wish me luck with this new doctor and hopefully with new meds. Thanks ahead of time for all your support my friends, I certainly do need it.

The Switch Was Successful

I am so happy that I made the switch to the new blogger because everything is just the same on the blog and hopefully it will function better for me now.

I am no longer having problems with my usual e-mail but Amy you can still write to me at the e-mail address (griffinblaise@yahoo.com), I will be checking the mail more often now looking for your letter.

Janice, I am sorry that I haven't gotten back to you sooner but I wanted to answer your questions. ADHD and Bipolar Disorder are not the same/related but here is the link to some information on Bipolar Disorder that you may find helpful if you are interested in reading about it. Here is a link to some information and the definition to Auditory Processing Disorder. I think that you will find the answers to your questions there and if not then leave me another comment and I will be happy to either find more information for you or give you my version of what I understand it to be which is probably not the best information you can get. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope to hear from you again soon.

Griffin is doing great, his toilet training is going really well. He has gotten to the point where he will tell me that he needs to go or he will just run into the bathroom and go on his own. I don't think that he is ready for "big boy" underwear quite yet even though he is beginning to stay dry the 2.5 hours that he is at school. I do think that pretty soon we will try the underwear just around the house and see how it goes. I will keep you posted.

Griffin's Speech Evaluation

Griffin had his first appointment with his new SLP and it went quite well, she is so animated and fun and I am looking forward to the summer when she gets to see him again. There's a waiting list so it won't be until about June until they will see each other again. Anyhow, he did great, responding to her questions l. His receptive language/auditory comprehension is at 4 yrs. 3 months, his expressive speech is at 3 yrs. 9 months, and his articulation of sounds is at 3 yrs. 11 months. I think that he is actually doing better than what these scores reflect but it was just a test and he was distracted by her toys and kept wanting to play with the LaLa and Barney toys so he wasn't as focused as he could have been.

I am not feeling like writing much today so I am going to make this a short post. I will write again soon. I am about to switch over to the new blogger and I am so afraid that everything is going to disappear, like my blogroll because someone told me that it would. If something happens then you can find me at Griffin and Autism .

I hope that the link works and if everything goes awry then I will see you on my new blog and be weeping for the loss of my old blog. I found that I still cannot comment on your blogs and I am certainly missing that, I even tried to use the Griffin and Autism account and it didn't work still. I don't know what's up.

Amy from Colorado, I have been having problems with my e-mail account, I have Incredimail and it's not working properly. You can send the e-mail to griffinblaise@yahoo.com and I will get your e-mail there. If you don't mind, leave me a comment and let me know that you have sent it, that way I will know to check my mail. If anyone else would like to send me an e-mail feel free to write me, I would love to hear from you and open the lines of communication. Thanks for writing Amy, I look forward to hearing from you.

I Cannot Comment on Your Blogs

For some bizarre reason I cannot comment on your blogs because the word verification is not working properly and there simply is not any letters there. It is a bummer to me because I so enjoy reading your blogs and leaving comments so that you know that I have been there. Has anyone else had this problem? Do you know what I should do to remedy this situation? Please let me know if you know of something that I can do.

Otherwise, things are going very well around here. Griffin has been really polite as of late and using his manners all the time. He will use Please, Thank You, and Excuse Me appropriately in every instance. When he burps he says "Excuse me", if he wants you to back away and give him his space he will say "Excuse me" or "Please, move away". I am very proud of him and impressed that he is using such good manners, he even uses sign language to go with his words.

Thank You All

I cannot thank you enough for your kind words of encouragement, they surely helped me a great deal.....more than I can express. It never fails that when I am feeling low and need help, when my depression has got me down and I can't seem to get up my blogger friends always come through for me and for that I am eternally grateful. Your words of advice and your wonderful suggestions have definitely gotten me up and feeling better about myself and about being a good mother. I have made such dear and precious friends here through this blog and met some new ones recently who have been so supportive and I believe that if not for that support there would be times that I could not have gotten up and feeling better about myself. Yes, you all have that kind of power to help me "heal" my psyche and get through my bipolar moments. It is a wicked affliction and I often wish that I did not have it but I do, it is part of me, and there's not much I can do except take my medication and live with the residual symptoms that remain. My previous post was essentially a cry for help and now that I read it it sounds so sad and pitiful which is how I was feeling I guess but that was then and this is now and I wouldn't be in this place had you all not helped me.

I now realize that the move was a good thing for Griffin and eventually it will be a good thing for me too, I just need more time to adjust that's all. I do have some good news, my medicaid was approved and my application for public assistance came through for me (it's not much but every little bit helps). Now all I need to do is get a new lawyer in this area to represent me for my social security disability hearing and sit and wait for them to have the darn thing. Social security has bypassed their deadline as of August of 2006 but of course it makes no difference to them that they passed their deadline for my hearing. There's no need for me to rant about it, all I need to do is to be positive and do what I must to take care of business.

I Need Your Help

This is a new site that I discovered called CafeMom and here is an article that the moderator wrote entitled Happy To Have A Spectrum Kid it is inspiring and encouraging and so are the replies to the article.
Griffin is seen here with my Mom goofing off and being a ham for the camera, I have noticed that lately he has been doing that more and more.

I don't know what it is but lately I have felt like I am not a good mother to Griffin. Maybe my depression is not as good as I thought it was, I thought that since moving from Anchorage that I was doing better but I guess that I was wrong. Sure, I miss Alaska and all my friends, I miss the people, the city, the magnificent scenery, I miss my privacy and my independence but I don't miss the isolation of that apartment in the freezing temperatures and darkness of winter. What to do? I am taking my medications the way I should and my parents are helping out with Griffin. I get out of the house nearly every day but at the same time I cannot seem to shake this feeling that I have that I'm not a good mother and that Griffin is better off here than he was in Anchorage because I wasn't a good mother to him then or now. Griffin has been thriving here and talking a lot, hardly having any meltdowns in fact he is acting more like an NT child more than ever. What is it that I was doing wrong in Anchorage? I talked to my friend Sue about a situation that happened here with my parents which I won't go into out of respect for them but Sue told me that I WAS A GOOD MOTHER! She told me that I was a good mother in Anchorage and that I am still a good mother. She asked me why all of a sudden that I was doubting myself when I was doing fine in Alaska. I couldn't answer her and I still have no answers. It's like a sadness that has overcome me and it only seems to be getting worse. I wish that I had a therapist here, if only I could find out about whether or not my medicaid was approved but it has been over a month and still no word. I miss my therapist in Anchorage, she was so awesome and I will never ever have someone like her ever again. My thoughts have been so dark lately and I wonder about "what if" all the time such as "what if something happens to me then how would Griffin feel, would he miss me?" things like that. I realize that I am pouring my heart out here but I just don't know what to do and I need some support from my blogger friends. I wish that I could hear someone tell me on a regular basis that I am a good mother, someone who is close to me, ya know? What a big difference that would make to just hear those words. Don't we all want to hear them? Am I just a strange one who needs reassurance and validation all the time? I am wondering if any of you have felt the way that I have. Have you ever had dark thoughts about what would happen if you were to die and if your child would even miss you or not? I think that Griffin would miss me but not really bad which breaks my heart but at the same time it would be good because it would mean that he was his usual happy camper self that I always want him to be. Now I am just rambling on and on. Is there anyone out there who has some words of wisdom? Do you think that you could help me? Please!

Sandbox Fun

I am happy to report that Griffin is once again using the potty as he once did, he has even told me that he needs to go and walks into the bathroom on his own. I think that being sick just threw him off and he just needed time to get back into the swing of things. Here Griffin is pictured playing in the sandbox with his cousin and boy oh boy did he have a blast. I think that it was the very first time that he has actually played in a sandbox. He thoroughly enjoyed rolling around in it and putting the sand in his hair, I just let him do as he pleased and have fun not worrying about how dirty he got. Griffin did actually interact with his little cousin who is about 2 years old, he seems to really enjoy the company of children who are younger and smaller than himself for some reason. Granted the interaction was brief at best and it mostly involved him taking turns and sharing toys but anyhow it was great to see that he even had the least bit of interest in her at all.

I am also pleased to report that I got my medicine that I so desperately needed for my Bipolar Disorder through the P.P.A.(Partnership of Prescription Assistance). I had not written about it in the blog but I was running out of my medicine which costs $500.00 a month and had actually been taking it every other day instead of every day as I was supposed to because I was running so low on them but I called the PPA and they came through for me!!! Now I can feel like myself again, my medicated self, and be stable emotionally/mentally and not have to worry about flying off the handle or weeping uncontrollably whenever someone happens to mention something that touches a nerve. I am so grateful for the 3-4 month supply that they sent to me, just think how much money those meds are worth!!! It was actually the drug company who sent me the meds........Bristol-Meyer Squibb but it's about time that the drug companies finally give back to the consumers and not just robbing them blind over medications!!! I am not a big fan of the pharmaceutical industry even though I will be stuck taking their meds for the rest of my life but I won't go into it right now. It just makes me angry and there's not a thing that I can do about it either!

Need Help With Toilet Training Tips

Griffin has been mouthing non-food objects again and putting his fingers in his mouth and writing on windows & mirrors with his saliva (YUCK!), it's no wonder that he keeps getting sick. I try to sanitize his hands as often as I can especially when we go out in public but I can't keep up. I know that it means that he needs more oral stimulation like a spin toothbrush and a Nuk brush too and I guess that I'll be going out to get one in order to help him stop doing these things. Since Griffin got sick recently he has stopped using the toilet almost completely and I don't know how to get him to start using it again. He had been going consistently with a little bit of encouragement getting to the bathroom but once in front of the toilet he would go willingly. Now he has to be practically dragged to the bathroom and once in front of the toilet he refuses to even push his pants down to urinate. He also needs to a great deal of encouragement to get to the bathroom when he needs to have a BM and often goes in his pullups/diaper. I have tried using a reward system where he got a jelly bean or m&m after using the toilet but it stopped working because he totally lost interest in eating them. I don't know of a reward that he likes better than those, he has no interest in stickers either. Of course I give him lots of praise when he goes but he doesn't really seem to care whether I do or not. Who has some suggestions? I would love to hear some ideas that you might have, I'm getting desperate because he has regressed so badly and I feel like we are at square one, even worse than square one because at least at square one he liked jelly beans! Oh and he doesn't seem to be bothered by the feeling of a wet pullup either so that's not a factor. He has some "big boy" underpants but he is not in the least bit interested in wearing them so I don't know how to motivate the little guy.

Fun Depot

Last Saturday we celebrated Griffin's birthday by going to Fun Depot in North Carolina and he seemed to have a really good time. The place was packed and noisy but it didn't seem to phase him at all until the very end when he became restless and started to do the limp noodle bit. It was quite understandable that he would eventually become overwhelmed but he had lasted a few hours playing and running around just as a typical kiddo would. My sister's daughter was there and we got a picture of Griffin kissing her on the cheek unfortunately it was a pic taken in the portrait booth and I cannot share it with you but just the same it was an awesome picture. I am thrilled that he gave her a peck on the cheek because it was an interaction, I mean he actually touched her and in an affectionate manner too. Once Griffin started to show signs of fatigue and of being overwhelmed we went straight home and he zonked out before his meds even had time to kick in, must have been exhausted. All in all it was a great day and I am so grateful that my family was there to share such a special experience with us. I really think that Griffin has enjoyed being around the family, he seems to love the attention and affection. Even though things are not quite the same, the school is not as good, and the services, money and resources are not as good, I am still glad that we are here. Anchorage was good for many things this is true but there's nothing like having family and loving support which we did not have there. I do miss my friends considerably but I don't miss the endless days of darkness, frigid temperatures (that kept us inside all the time), and the tons of snow.......well, I do kind of miss the snow but not shoveling it and having to drive in it! Everything is a trade off and there's got to be a balance in life so instead of complaining about what I don't have I will just be grateful for what we do have and just love life in spite of it all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRIFFIN!!!!!

January 31st Griffin will be 5 years old!!! Happy Happy Birthday to my big boy, I love you so very much!!!! As I reflect I think of how he has grown and developed over these years and it seems like such a long long time ago that he was being diagnosed at age 15 months with autism but at the same time it seems like just yesterday that he was being such a goofy little baby and making me laugh just as he still does. I have read about how parents mourn for the child who once was NT before being diagnosed but I don't feel that way and never have. I just see that little guy as being the same one that I have right now. It's just that he has progressed and digressed in certain areas just as a NT child would but in different ways. There are ups and downs in our lives/his life just as in any family. I don't believe that I am looking at the world through rose colored glasses either, I think that I am just loving life and living in the moment, and accepting Griffin for who he is and throwing all the expectations out the window. Griffin brings so much joy to my life and to those who are near him, he truly touches their hearts with his infectious laugh and brilliant smile. Every day I am grateful for all that he is, I have the whole package.....autism and all so why not be grateful for him because it's not gonna change (or is it?) and if it does then I will love and accept that Griffin also. Sure there are times when I just want to throw my hands up in the air and curse his autism but often times it isn't the autism that is to blame, it's just Griffin being a child. There are times when it is the autism and I can blame it but at the same time it's never an excuse for trying to separate "IT" from him....they are one and the same and I must accept that. My beautiful child has autism and I celebrate who he is and love him unconditionally autism and all. For some of you it may be a different story but isn't that what life is all about anyhow? Even for parents, children, families who are considered NT? We all have our own challenges/struggles to deal with from day to day and isn't it our PERSPECTIVE that makes all the difference in the world? Some of you may HATE autism but how can you hate what is part of your child? Because the two cannot be separated. Perhaps I need to be enlightened by you in order to understand how you feel. I want to understand because I know that you love your children too, just as much as I love my child. My point is that we are all living different life experiences no matter what type of child we have, it is all a great big puzzle and at the same time it is a lovely mess. Life is a mystery to me and I'm not sure that I want all the answers especially if there's no solution (That statement no doubt has ruffled some feathers). I am an optimist but sometimes to a fault but I have have been inspired by my child's joyful disposition and I believe that if I follow his lead then he will take me places that I had only dreamed of finding. For in the end, it is he who is the teacher. He has been put upon this earth to show me the meaning of life and what love is all about. I gave birth to a brilliant and loving soul who has heart is bigger than anyone I have ever known and I cannot wait to see which way he leads me and all the precious moments that I am so privileged to share with him. We have one more blessed year and many an obstacle that we have overcome and for a child with autism who isn't supposed to like change.........he certainly has shown me that change is good and at times it is destined to be. With all my love and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you Griffin for all that you have shown me and taught me along the way!!!!!!!!!

Visit Tina's Blog

ELMOS SING ALONG GUESING GAME is what it reads, this is Griffin's fantastic spelling with only one minor mistake so I think that he is doing a wonderful job. There's not much to report so this is going to be a really brief post. Please visit my friend Tina's blog AutismSchmatism
and read about her son who is sick and in the hospital, say a prayer for them and that he heals/recovers from his illness quickly. He is only 6 years old and they don't even know what is going on with him. Tina is a very dear friend of ours and so are her son's Chance and Jayce. Tina has her hands full with taking care of Chance and Jayce being in the hospital so sick. It breaks my heart that he is so ill and so very unhappy. Let's give Tina some support by leaving her a comment and letting her know that you are thinking of her.