Jumbo Elmo

Griffin's other birthday present arrived today, his jumbo Elmo that I won on e-bay for $2.99.

Memetastic Award

DeeAnn at http://www.snippetsnstuff.com/ thoughtfully passed this ostentatious award on to me. Giving credit where credit is due, it originated from Jill at http://yeahgoodtimes.blogspot.com/. Both ladies are also mothers of incredible children that happen to have autism.

Here are Jill's rules for the award. Due to language that may be offensive to my younger followers and my mom who reads this blog, things have been edited things just a tad...




1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes. It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here.

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make stuff up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things. 


1. I  sky dived nude on my last birthday
2. I love Guns N' Roses
3. I don't wear underwear
4. I own a Harley soft tail
5. Sleeping comes easily to me and I am lucky that way


Now that is out of the way I've got to pass along this little award to 5 bloggers and here we go: 
Erin at I Should Be Studying
Arline at The Autism Princess
Jennifer C at Fingerprints of Autism
Casdok at Mother of Shrek
Jazzygal at Jazzygal

Check out their blogs!

Stylish Blogger Award

Chris over at A Crazy Kind of Faith bestowed upon me so kindly the Stylish Blogger Award...thank you Chris..and I am supposed to list seven facts about myself that most people do not know about me.

The second requirement is that I pass the award on to several other recipients and here they are:
Heather at The Scenic Route 
4timesblessed at Autism as a Whole
Kristi at Losing, Loving, and Living in Tx
Jean at Mommy to Two Boys
Kari at Dotcomkari
Kyra at This Mom
Lebelinoz at Life with two autistic kids

1.I broke my arm when I was 9 months old climbing out of my crib and learned to walk with the cast on.
2.I studied at the Aveda Institute in Minneapolis and subsequently worked as an aesthetician in an Aveda Day Spa in Anchorage, Alaska
3.I used to show horses when I was in elementary school and have dreamed of having my own horse since I could speak and I still don't have one :(
4.I have kept a journal for 25 years now and a daily journal for about 5 years. I just don't trust my memory and there's so many things that have happened to me that I want to commit to paper for posterity because the time passes and before you know it the memories fade and it's gone.
5.I take online classes from American Public University and am majoring in Child and Family Development
6.I was born in western North Carolina but have lived all over the United States including: Alaska, South Carolina, New Jersey, Georgia, Washington, and I lived in Hawaii when my second husband had cancer.
7.I love to write in this blog but not about myself necessarily because the blog is supposed to be about Griffin and autism so I am reluctant about including information about myself because I just don't think that people are interested in stuff about me anyhow.
The more interesting things about me, in case you didn't see them, including my stint as an exotic dancer, work with the FBI, and my 5 marriages are in this list that I published a couple of weeks ago. I tried to copy and paste the list but the font came out way too small for some reason.

Church

We went to the Unity Center (a non-denominational church) today and Griffin sat with me the whole time in the service instead of going to the childcare, Mrs. Cameron's class which he doesn't like to go to without me. Griffin did talk a bit now and then but in a whisper and he had to get a snack ( they have food available at all times in the lobby area) but he did sing the songs and sat still for the most part. We took Abby, Griffin's service dog, with us and she got to meet a tiny Chihuahua named "Happy" who was 7 months old, she was in the lobby area with her owner. Abby loves other animals and gets excited every time she sees another one, in fact, her best friend is our cat "Dot" who she plays with and cuddles with all the time.

Early Birthday Presents

Through all his searches online, Griffin found these talking Teletubbies on ebay which I won for only $4.00 but they are worth so much more because he absolutely adores them. Since Griffin's birthday is on the 31st I decided to go ahead and get them for him and give them to him because he is just one of those kids who doesn't like surprises. He was disappointed at Christmas when he unwrapped his presents because he said that he should have gotten them when he was with me not for Christmas, so I am not going to make him wait for his birthday presents.

As you may have noticed above the Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons badge I have a ticker that shows how much weight I have lost (56 lbs.) and how much I have to go to reach my target weight of 140 lbs. (29 lbs. to go). I will keep updating it and post a before and after photo once I reach my target weight. Just a wee bit more to go and I am so eager to reach my goal!!!

What is Abnormal?

Do you think that a child with autism is abnormal? What is normal anyhow? It is a setting on the dryer that's what it is! There is no such thing as normal when it has to do with the human being regardless of what anyone has to say about it. I choose to use neuro-typical when referring to an individual who does not have autism.

I am not "normal" because I have bipolar disorder and PTSD and even if I didn't then I still wouldn't refer to myself as being so because I guess that you could say that I believe that we are all aberrant in some way or the other. I don't even think that it is a matter of being politically correct in using certain terms because there simply is not a normal human being! We all have our dysfunction and abnormalities and to think that you are "normal" is to say that you are perfect and without any flaws....in my humble opinion.

I am not referring to anyone whose blog that I read, it just so happens that the word "aberrant" came up in the book that I am reading and it brought to mind what it means to be the opposite.  So, if you happen to use the word "normal" then I would just like for you to reconsider because to say that there are normal people that means that your child with autism is abnormal and to me that is insulting.

Talk Ability

I found this book, "Talk Ability" online years ago and have been reading it again as of late because I need help with knowing how to talk to Griffin. I know that sounds weird but sometimes I just don't know how to keep the conversation going. Do any of you ever have that problem or is it just me? Maybe it is the medications that I take that effect me but oftentimes I just don't have the words to talk to him because Griffin will talk about things that are off-the-wall. So here are a few excerpts out of the book, not too detailed because I don't have much time to type it all out right now but if you have any questions feel free to ask and I would be happy to help out.

Some of the basics are using your "I" cues: Include your child's interests, ideas, and words. Interpret his message. Introduce your own ideas. and Insist on a change of topic...Help you take your turn

The Cues: Comment...and wait. Ask a question...and wait. Make it easier to answer your question...and wait. Hint...and wait. Make a suggestion...and wait. Tell your child what to say or do...and wait...Tell your child that it's his turn

Open questions: What happened? Wh questions + "thought" words. How? Why?
Closed Wh questions: What? Who? Where? When?

There are also the different stages of which your child falls under that it helps you to figure out so that you can more easily help your child carry on with conversation. Stage 1 = "want" words. Stage 2="think" words. Stage 3="see" words Stage 4="hidden feeling" words Stage 5= "false belief" words.

If you would like to buy the book just click on the highlighted area in the box to go to Amazon.com to either buy it new or used.

Also there is an online course for communication with your child with autism that is FREE! I have just signed up for it so I don't know how good it is but since it is free then why not try it out? Here's the link: http://www.thinkautism.info/

A Much Nicer Me

I had a complete hysterectomy back in 2005 and have been out of balance ever since but one of my doctors told me that I didn't need hormones so I hadn't taken them but my present general practitioner told me that she would give me a script for them. So, yesterday I started taking estrogen to see if it would help my disposition since I had been being such an irritable, grumpy, and impatient bitch mommy and sure enough it worked! I now feel like a nicer and a much more compassionate human being. I know that it has only been a day and a half but the way I feel is so significantly improved compared to how I used to feel. If I could sing then I would just break out into song and dance around like a fool...maybe I will just dance around like a fool with Griffin even though he is going to wonder what the heck happened to mommy. I can tell the difference in Griffin, he is so much more mellow and had no meltdowns so far yesterday and today....YEAH!!!

Thanks to my sister for suggesting that I try hormones since they worked for her. She had mentioned that she had that GR-R-R-R feeling like when you are so pissed that you are just gritting your teeth all the time kind of feeling like what I had. So I am in debt to her for helping me out...thanks sis for your help I owe you a big one!

Insomnia and Halcion

I went to my psychiatrist the other day and got a prescription of Halcion for chronic insomnia. I have insomnia because I am bipolar and require prescription strength medication since the typical remedies do not work for me. And yes, I have tried melatonin, even the prescription strength melatonin, Rozerum, that is pure therefore more effective but not for me. I have tried sleepytime tea, brandy, and all the OTC medications all of which do absolutely nothing for me.

I was taking Restoril which in the beginning worked wonderfully for me but apparently my body got used to it and it stopped working and I found myself staying up all night or finally getting to sleep only after eating a meal at 4:00 a.m. which is not an option for me since I do not want to gain all my weight back. I have lost 57 lbs. so far with only 20 lbs to go and there's no way that I am eating in the middle of the night only to find a bulging belly again.

What I remember from working undercover doing drug sting operations for the FBI is that individuals use Halcion recreationally/illegally quite frequently because it is a sedative/hypnotic drug so I was none too thrilled when my doc prescribed it for me. I didn't want to go on a trip or to "feel funny" I just wanted to sleep. I was desperate to sleep so I took half a dose at first to no avail and ended up taking a full dose. I went to sleep right away and slept like a rock...until NOON today!!! No, I didn't feel funny nor was it fun to take...I only felt sleepy as hell! Needless to say, I won't be taking a full dose again because Griffin was up before me and thank goodness that he spends the whole time on the computer if I oversleep. He didn't get into anything and he doesn't try to leave and couldn't because I have a chain on the door and he doesn't know how to undo it. I felt horrible that I overslept but couldn't help it.

I have to get up early in the morning because I have an ultrasound scheduled due to the fact that my liver enzymes were elevated and we need to find out if it is enlarged. Also I may have an ulcer or something going on with my stomach due to the fact that I have been having severe stomach pain lately. So, I have to get up early for that and I am going to need to sleep, especially since I cannot eat or drink anything after midnight. I don't know how that is going to happen, all I can do is to take the Restoril and hope for the best. Maybe tomorrow night I will try to take a lower dose of the Halcion and set the alarm so that I can get up before Griffin.

Being Productive and a Lot Nicer

Will school ever begin again? Will the snow ever stop? It's a good thing that I have been keeping myself busy and getting a lot done around the apartment otherwise I would go bonkers. But I have had plenty of practice at staving off cabin fever when I lived in Alaska. Fortunately Griffin enjoys the snow more now than he did when we lived there and he doesn't mind getting dressed in all his layers like we also had to do there but he did not like it then. I put him in a pair of sweats and snow pants, a jacket liner, and a coat. He wears two pair of knitted gloves because he refuses to wear the waterproof kind and he wears snow boots of course. I kept my pair of $250.00 snow boots from Alaska and am I ever so glad that I did because they keep my feet toasty.

I got some much needed painting done, I was tired of the eggshell finish that we had because it showed every little mark and fingerprint and I couldn't get them off because the paint would come off. So I got some semi-gloss and it looks exceptionally well, it's as though we had just moved in. The apartment manager told me that they wouldn't paint my apt. until I had lived here for 3 years and that they wouldn't give me any paint either so I took it upon myself to do it on my own because I felt like I was living in a begrimed rundown abode, the place just never looked clean.

Griffin and I are getting along wonderfully even though we have been together 24/7 just like in the summertime but back in the summer things weren't so peachy and mommy found herself getting irritated much easier. I have grown since then and appreciate my time alone with Griffin and we play more now too. I had made a promise to Griffin that I was going to be nicer and not so grumpy all the time. Now I find myself smiling a lot more and not taking my time with Griffin for granted, because the time does fly and he will be a teenager before I know it and then he might not be so keen on playing games with mommy.

Griffin Plays Pretend

Here is a video of Griffin playing pretend with his characters. And who said that autistic kiddos don't play make believe?

There is no school today due to a winter storm that passed through overnight and we have about 10" of snow on the ground. Griffin got to play on the sled with his neighbor Isaiha for a little while.

No EEG Today

Griffin and I went outside to take Abby for a walk and Griffin played on the playground with his "characters" as he calls them. We didn't go for the EEG that was scheduled for this morning because I couldn't get him to go to sleep without his Clonidine last night. I knew that if he didn't get any sleep then they couldn't do the test because he would have been asleep. In order to conduct the test for absence seizures he has to be awake. He was supposed to get 6 hours of sleep but come 12:00  he wasn't going to sleep then by 2:00 a.m. I decided that I was going to give up and go ahead and give him the medicine so that we both could get some sleep. So by 3:00 he was finally asleep. I got to sleep around 4:00 a.m. after reading for awhile in order to relax before hitting the hay.

I didn't require Griffin to go to school because for 1. he didn't wake up until 10:00 after getting to sleep so late and 2. I had already told him that he wasn't going to school today and I wasn't going to go back on my word. School was on a 2 hour delay today due to bad weather in part of the county and was released early for the same reason so it wasn't as though he really missed much.

 I guess that I will reschedule the EEG and try again to see if I can get him to sleep next time. It's just that he has chronic insomnia and that's why he takes the Clonidine and so going to sleep without it is nearly impossible but he has done it on one occasion so I was thinking that we could do it again but Noooo!

This is Griffin neighbor and good friend Isaiha (I think that is how he spells his name) who was talking to Griffin outside about his characters, he is 9 years old and is so understanding of Griffin and how Griffin is so different and doesn't play age appropriate games/activities.

If I Had a Life

Griffin has to have his goggles on when he takes a shower or swims.

I frankly don't know what to write about today, maybe something will come up later on and I will be able to write something intelligent and worthwhile. Maybe if I had a life then I would have some content to work with.

A Few Things About Me

Jen from The King and Eye is hosting the Blog Gems Air Your Archives blog hop this week and it is required of me to post a few things about myself so here it goes:

1. I was an exotic dancer for 6 years in Alaska. It was a love-hate relationship and I made tons of money, sometimes in excess of $1500.00 a night...no kidding!  I also did a short stint in Las Vegas at the Palomino Club and Cheetahs where "Showgirls" was filmed. My blog, Mysterious, reveals some of what it was like if you happen to be interested or curious. Above is a photo of me in costume.
2. I used to work undercover for the FBI doing drug sting operations while traveling around Alaska.
3. I have been married 5 times for various reasons one of which was because I was nearly homeless and got married in order to work out a deal to get a place to live. One was for his green card but it didn't pan out and the one that I loved the most lasted 10 years and he ended up cheating on me but we made amends and he was there when Griffin was born (he was not the father).
4. I used to also be a ballroom dance instructor for Fred Astaire Dance Studio
5. I plan to write a book one day about all of my misadventures.
6. I have been on a road trip across the United States from Alaska to North Carolina and back, 11,000 miles and the last leg of the trip the temperatures were as low as 35 below zero, the gas and fluids kept freezing up and we barely made it home.
7. I have been to Greece twice because the husband that I loved the most was Greek and the food, people, and scenery was to die for!!!! I also taught myself Greek and used to speak it fluently.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year to you and yours from Griffin, Abby, Dot, and me!

Since I don't have a social life and nobody to do respite for me I will let Griffin stay up with me and we will watch Sesame St. New Year's Eve together like we always do. What the heck it is only one night a year and we get to sleep in in the morning....YEAH!

One of the most significant events that happened in 2010 was the week that Griffin left me for the first time to go to camp in June. I was a wreck! I never thought that my heart could ache so badly but I made it through and I am glad that he went because he loved it. He was homesick in the beginning but he made it through too. I learned a lesson from that, to pay more attention to what I want and need and not rely on Griffin to fill up the spaces in my life. Even though a friend visited me while he was a camp I didn't fully enjoy the time like I should have and the days that my friend wasn't here I was lost! If he goes again next summer then believe me, I am going to enjoy myself completely!

I hope that all of you have a wonderful new year, that it is filled with joy and that you are always surrounded by those you love. May you find peace and happiness not to mention winning the lottery too! Thank you for visiting my blog and for sharing your comments with me, it means a lot to me that we have stuff in common and that you care enough to take the time to share. I have enjoyed getting to know you, my fellow bloggers, some of you I have known awhile and some of you I just met but that friendship is meaningful nonetheless.

Big hugs to all of you from the two of us!

Finally Free

I haven't blogged for a few days because I have been reading this fascinating book by Desmond Morris called "Watching". He is a zoologist who has made great strides in the observation and documentation of animal and human behavior. By watching them he has made some major contributions to the study of mammals and other species. But his greatest contribution is that of humans through film and other mediums such as visual art. Desmond Morris a renowned artist and author of many books and he was the curator of the London Zoo for several years. He made an impression on the world of art with his chimpanzee "Congo" who painted some very sophisticated works of art. It is a 642 page book and I am on page 235 so I've a ways to go yet but making great headway.

Griffin and I have been out and about for a few days now and it has been such a huge relief to be able to leave the house. We have been playing cards and Legos now and then and lots of tickle time too! We will probably go swimming later on.

Cabin Fever

After being snowed in since Christmas Griffin surely has a case of cabin fever as he has had several meltdowns today. He wanted to go to the store, probably just to get out of here for awhile, to get cookie dough even though we have homemade cookies here that the neighbor gave us. When I tried to explain to him that the roads are too icy for the car to go on he didn't understand and just kept telling me to go warm up the car.

I had been limiting his time on the computer which of course forced him to do other more constructive things like playing with his Legos or drawing, but I decided to let him spend more time on it since he was so out-of-sorts. We went outside to walk Abby but he didn't want to play in the snow of make a snowman so we weren't out that long. And it wasn't because we were cold  because we know how to bundle up since having lived in Alaska for so long in fact, we were on the verge of being hot out there in 20 degree temps. which is a heat wave in the winter in Alaska.

Merry Christmas!

Griffin likes his new toys but got upset when he opened his Buzz Lightyear saying that I was supposed to get it at the store and not as a gift at Christmas. But he soon started playing with it and forgot about being upset. He was none too thrilled with the clothes that his secret Santa gave to him but he sure needs them.

We have snow today which is great for Griffin but not for me because I wanted to go to IHOP to eat a Christmas dinner (can't drive in the snow because of the hill at our complex, they don't treat the road or scrape it) since I am not cooking. I don't cook because it would only be for me since Griffin wouldn't eat any of it...what's the use? I am trying to lose more weight so it is just as well I suppose. I am not complaining since there are hungry and cold people without a home that is safe and warm. They don't have anything to eat or loved ones to share smiles with today. So I am grateful for all that I have, my home, the heat to warm my home, an abundance of food, and last but not least of all...Griffin my dear sweet child!

Isn't it true that young kids like the boxes as much as they do the gifts? At least it is for Griffin because he likes to use his imagination and hold "Dot" whenever he can, she is so tolerant of him because she doesn't like to be held.

Griffin wanted to make a YouTube video about his new toys that he got for Christmas so here it is: Big Woody & Buzz and little Woody & Buzz. I hope that you watch and enjoy his fine presentation!

He's Not Excited About Christmas

When I asked Griffin if he was excited about Christmas he replied, "I am boring for Christmas." which means that he is bored with Christmas and that he is not excited about it. He seems to think that he is not going to get the toys that he wants and therefore he doesn't care if it comes or not. He wants a Buzz Lightyear, Jessie, and Rex but he is only going to get Buzz because that's all that I could afford so he might be a bit disappointed in what he finds. I don't expect him to be overjoyed because that is not how he reacts to things and he might just be pissed off that he didn't get all that he wanted, I know that he is going to be pissed that he is getting some clothes but that's okay. If I don't have expectations of him then I won't be disappointed in how he behaves. I don't know how other autistic children react to presents but my little guy is not one to get excited about gifts or anything for that matter. He will like his Buzz in the end and ultimately play with him plenty and that's all that matters.

Griffin and I were treated to a visit from his Nana (my mom) and his cousin Hayley! It didn't even occur to me to take a photo of them...damnit! It would have been nice to get a photo of them with Griffin for posterity but I guess that I was too eager to see them and to sit and talk to them. Griffin visited and goofed off with my mom and she got in some good tickle time in which he loved. I hadn't seen Hayley in quite some time so it was nice to talk with her, she is really getting to be quite the young lady (14 yrs. old).

Meltdown in the Church

At one of the local churches they have a night once a month where children who are disabled can come and have dinner and a special service. It was our first visit and it turned out to be an interesting experience. It didn't start out too well because as we were waiting for the minister to say the blessing Griffin wanted something to eat so he grabbed a piece of chicken and then wanted some chocolate milk. Well the women kept telling him that he had to wait for the prayer which he didn't understand. I had the idea that it would be okay for him to wait because he has to wait at school for his meal but it wasn't okay and he proceeded to have a meltdown. So then I got him the milk after I got him calmed down and explained to him about how we sometimes have to wait for things when we don't want to. He seemed to understand but I think that next time I will just go ahead and get him the milk because it really wasn't a big deal for him to have it and not worth a meltdown and certainly they will understand next time and not insist that he has to wait. It was after all a special dinner for the disabled and they've got to get used to the idea that sometimes autistic children have difficulty with the concept of waiting for a blessing. It is abstract not concrete so I can understand why he didn't get it.

I think that sometimes it is good to teach Griffin under certain circumstances to wait because as he gets older he will have to have an understanding of patience and a tolerance for sitting and waiting or doing something else in the meantime. I think that maybe he was just hungry too which fueled the fire.