Awake at 4:00 a.m.

Griffin and I got up at 4:00 a.m. which means that I must be giving him his sleep meds too early and putting him to bed too early so that is going to change tonight! But we did get in some quality time together before the bus came which was nice. Griffin and I spent time reading books together and he spent time on the computer of course. He has been complaining about having a frog in his throat and kind of clearing it and according to his description it hurts but I took him to the doctor and she said that it's not strep and that as long as he doesn't have a fever that he is okay. So I tried to explain to him that he would be okay and help him to not worry about it and by the time he left he was okay about it.

I found a website Nancy's Bird Photo Journal  and it has all kinds of birds and photos of every one. Since Griffin is a great bird lover it is a wonderful source of information for him especially since we are birdwatchers when we go out. He loves the ducks and since there are different kinds there, it is nice to have a place to look up what types they are. I think that Griffin's love for wildlife is going to take him places as he grows older.

I just included these photos that I had leftover from the lake because I wanted to use them before I take some more this weekend. I really like these and am kind of proud of how they turned out, especially since the camera is as old as it is. I am experimenting with it and trying to see how I can get some better pictures out of it.

I am always open to feedback on my photos.......feel free to comment on anything!

Our Weekend

Genius May Be an Abnormality by Temple Grandin

http://www.autismtoday.com/articles/Genius_May_Be_Abnormality.htmhttp://www.autismtoday.com/articles/Genius_May_Be_Abnormality.htm

Temple Grandin has written this wonderful article about genius, Aspergers, and autism. Here is a sample of the first paragraph of a very detailed article that I highly recommend:

I am becoming increasingly concerned that intellectually gifted children are being denied opportunities because they are being labeled either Asperger's or high functioning autism. Within the last year I have talked to several parents, and I was disturbed by what they said. One mother called me and was very upset that her six-year-old son had Asperger's. She then went on to tell me that his IQ was 150. I replied that before people knew about Asperger's Syndrome, their child would have received a very positive label of intellectually gifted.

Then she goes on with continuum of traits, genius is an abnormality?, types of thinking, and teachers and mentors.


Below is something that I discovered on Facebook that I am fond of that I hope that you can find something valuable in to take with you.

Pre-teen and Growing Up

Griffin is being reminded by people that the hair on his legs is growing longer and that he is getting a mustache and I don't know if they are talking to him about it in school but he has been obsessing over this pre-teen growing up and getting older issue so we have been talking a lot about it. He told me that he is afraid of growing up, getting old, and dying. He told me that he knows that I am going to be an old lady "soon"; I am 48 but to him that is ancient, and the poor guy has reason to worry because I am not Spring chicken but I did not let him think that I was going to kick the bucket anytime soon. I did my best to get him excited about growing older and told him that great things happen when you grow up like learning to ride a bike, like going to college, getting a job, learning to drive a car.....he may or may not do all of these things but I certainly want him to dream big. I want him to aspire to do these things to strive to achieve all that he could possibly conquer in spite of his autism. In fact, I think that he could use his autism to his advantage especially through his art and with the computers. But I digress......

I want Griffin to feel comfortable growing up especially since I think that he is about to hit puberty, he is exhibiting signs of hormonal changes now with his moods and other behaviors. We are going to see a psychologist now who I really like and I trust that he will lead us in the right direction.

I have been staying busy, busier than I realized I would since Griffin started school. I think that I am going to start doing my photography again. I went to the lake and took some photos yesterday and I must say that they came out pretty good. They camera is old and is limited but that's okay I can work with it for now.

Seeing Beyond My Autism Diagnosis

Seeing Beyond My Autism Diagnosis

This is an excellent article by Judy Endow who so intelligently inquired, "are you a low functioning NT or a high functioning NT?". Think about how we label one another especially those who are "disabled".

I highly recommend this article.....read on.

How to Prevent Common Childhood Injuries

Here are some great tips that you may already know as the fantastic parent that you are but it never hurts to have reminders. Take a look just for a quick brush up....and you can always pass it on. This was shared by Nancy Parker. The website is Nanny Source, I have to say that I do not have experience with them personally but I do like their articles.

http://www.enannysource.com/blog/index.php/2012/08/13/steps-nannies-can-take-to-prevent-common-childhood-injuries/

Griffin loves his "scribble pad" or as you may know it as a Doodle Pro. He doesn't go anywhere without it and is constantly drawing on it. He goes to "meet the teacher" tomorrow and I think that he is excited, I know that he is excited to start school Thursday. I will miss having him around to hang out with although it will be nice to know that he will not be so bored and looking for things to do all day long, even though he has plenty to do. Not looking forward to homework but maybe the new system that I have in mind will work....fingers crossed. Griffin has a hard time sitting still for anything ADHD, and it creates a challenge especially for reading and homework. So there will be more to be written on the subject in the future.

My Aunt Patty still needs prayers as we are hoping for her recovery, she is still in the hospital. My time is up on the computer, Griffin has reminded me....time to go.

Ten Commandments for Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum

Ten Commandments for Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum...

1. Thou shall not yell when speaking to me.
My disability does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright. Perhaps even brighter than you are.

2. Thou shall not ignore me, talk negatively about me, speak unnaturally slow, or ask questions to others in the room that pertain to me. I can comprehend what you are saying just f

ine.

3. Thou shall believe in me and help me believe in my skills and self worth. Note the good in me and do not merely point out my negative behaviors. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

4. Thou shall not perceive me as dumb.
I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and maybe not as quickly as you expect me to. Have patience with me. Once I recall information, I never forget.

5. Thou shall not judge my behavior.
I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I may be hypersensitive to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears. Fluorescent lights are distracting for me. They have a humming noise, and can pulsate. All the noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to help me.

6. Thou shall not be so quick to scold me.
Do not tell me that “I know what I did”. I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in a simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your bedroom. Tell me exactly what you want, such as ‘Please make your bed and pick up your toys”.

7. Thou shall not compare me to others.
Please remind me, and note the talents that I possess. This increases my confidence and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

8. Thou shall not exclude me from activities.
Please do not mimic me, ignore me, or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It hurts my feelings when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to birthday parties too. Grownups can help me make friends by encouraging other children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to
know me.

9. Thou shall give me choices.
I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise. Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like to wear.

10. Thou shall not judge me by my diagnosis, but by my character.
I am an individual, just like other children. As my son used to say, “Mom my name is John (name changed for his anonymity) not Asperger’s”. A profound statement I would say. :-0)

~ Mari Nosal


I do not claim to obey all these commandments each day as I am not perfect nor do I try to judge anyone who does not follow them either. All I do is to wish for each of us to have kindness and compassion and to give our efforts to do what is best for our children.

Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons

Griffin and I are just hanging out today but I am staying busy cleaning and doing important paperwork that is long overdue. I am waiting for a phone call from my cousin about my aunt who just got out of ICU thank God! I am hoping that soon I will be able to talk to her, that she will feel well enough to say hello. Griffin and I are going to make a card for her and some other crafts while we are at it since we will be staying home today and it is raining outside.

The Facebook page above links to Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons which I am the administrator of and would love it if you visit me there and share your stories and do some social networking. I go to Facebook every day and check out what my friends are doing and if there are any new people there with something to share.

Self-Care

This is one of Griffin's most imaginative sock puppets that he made yesterday just from some paper and with a glue stick but I cannot for the life of me remember his name and Griffin is still asleep. Me and my poor memory, I just turned 48 years old and my memory is more like that of a 98 year old in poor health. I must not be reading enough.

Griffin and I went to a Family Support Network meeting last night and it is sad to say or good, depending on how one views it, that it was the first one that we had been to. I think that I had been apprehensive to go in the past because of Griffin and the childcare there that I had anticipated and sure enough he ended up coming downstairs with the adults and interrupting the meeting to a certain extent towards the end because for whatever reason they could not hold his attention in the kids class. I did at least talk him out of going home early and got to stay the entire time so I did give him big kudos for his patience for waiting for mom and using his "scribble pad" (doodle pro). He got extra computer time when he got home before bedtime.

I am not at liberty to discuss in detail what we discussed what happened at our group due to an agreement that I signed but I can say that our topic was self-care and personally for me my self-care is very limited. Due to my Fibromyalgia, Bipolar Disorder, and the problems that I have with pain in my, feet from surgery in my right foot and the need for surgery in my left foot, I have limited mobility and get depressed and feel guilty about not doing much with Griffin. And when I do push myself to do things I end up paying for them and by being on the couch for the rest of the day or the next day totally useless. Good thing I have a darn good psychologist who I include as part of my self-care.

To me self-care is reading a book or watching my science shows on TV, reading my friend's blogs and getting on Facebook. I gave up on lingering in the shower a long time ago since Griffin finds ways to interrupt them....what the heck, they are over rated! One day I will take baths again when we move to a place that has a nice bathtub. With Fibro self-care means getting enough sleep and rest or else I am totally useless to myself and especially to Griffin so I faithfully take my sleep medication and I rest on the couch during the day if necessary. My body hurts all over and I have overwhelming fatigue. I try to swim when I can which helps too and when Griffin goes back to school I plan to do it more often. It is hard to get motivated when it hurts all over and all one wants to do is sleep but once over the hump it feels good.

Now, I told my friend Jennifer, all I need to do is to socialize! How the heck do I do that? I feel so awkward, I have no self-confidence, it's been over 10 years since I have in a social setting with a man and I just don't feel good about the way I look! She asked me now that Griffin is going back to school what am I going to do with all my time? And I had no answer. I don't know! There will be swimming at the YMCA and cleaning the apartment and doctor's appointments and errands WOOPEE! Maybe I will get back into yoga and meditation, back into reading Joseph Campbell and into my spirituality more. Start going back to the Unity Center more on Sundays and meet some people there and hang out with them but will Griffin hang out with their kids? Worth a try I guess. I am so timid, when I used to be such the polar opposite. I used to take risks like none other especially when I was in the FBI, before Griffin was born but now it is like I just don't know the middle ground. I need to set an example for him and show him how to socialize. How can an autistic child be expected to learn those skills when his own parent is not even experiencing them herself?

Any suggestions as to how I can socialize during the day in a safe way to meet decent respectable men who would be safe for Griffin to be around.....eventually? I don't believe in letting him around men anytime soon after I begin to see them if there is anyway around it unless it was at church or something it would be different.

Organizing Your Child's Special Education File: Do It Right! - Wrightslaw

Organizing Your Child's Special Education File: Do It Right! - Wrightslaw

This is something that is very important to me and I am going to do it as soon as I can.....that sounds lame....I am going to do it starting TODAY! I have got to get his documents in order, I have never done it and they are all over the place and when it comes time to try to find certain ones I can never seem to find them. That is so sad.

I get Wrightslaw newsletter and it is highly recommended. Go to this link and you can find where to do the same, it contains valuable information everyday or is it every week? Anyhow, it is often and it lets you know your rights as a parent and an advocate for your child of special needs in any setting. I actually should put up links to it more often and vow to do so in the future.

Patience

Yesterday, we started out with Griffin getting up late since he stayed up late the night before. I have to say that we both do better in the summer staying up late and for him to get up late so mom can have some "me" time in the morning that is crucial to my well being. He has his play time during the evening running around in order to diffuse and calm down while mom relaxes. (Although, this morning Griffin woke me at 5:00 a.m., stayed up for 2 hours without being sleepy and it was all I could do to stay awake.  I drank my coffee and woke myself up and can't get back to sleep and he went back to sleep. Guess I will really be tired by the evening.....darn good thing I love coffee so much!)

Then we went to visit my Aunt Gail about 30 minutes away, she lives in a rest home because she had a major stroke years ago and she really likes to see Griffin so we ventured out with Abby on a small road trip. When we got there she wanted Pepsi, I am sure that she is addicted but what's the harm when one is in such a situation there's got to be some pleasure in life right? Then she wanted some candy so we went to the store to get some Snickers and all the time Griffin was so patient. I sat and talked to her for about 30 minutes and all the while Griffin laid in the bed next to hers and drew on his Doodle Pro quietly.

I feel so bad for my aunt and all that she has been through but she has come a long way. She went from not having any control of her speech and the entire right side of her body to learning to talk again, now one can understand her much easier than just a few months ago. I think that she is feeling better about herself because she is wearing her false teeth again, wearing earrings, and she seems to want to be more social. For having had a stroke as major as she had, she is quite lucid and seems to know what she is saying most the time.

We later went to the lake because Griffin had so patiently waited for his reward even though he wanted to see his Aunt Gail his ultimate goal was the lake. He just cannot get enough of seeing the wildlife and the serene water there. I think that he enjoys the people there too because every time we go he mentions them. I follow him as he carefully walks around the gaggles of geese and all the ducks that are around, some eating the bread thrown out by the children hanging out there. We stopped bringing bread because Griffin simply enjoys the company of the wildlife and the scenery.

The schedule that I am using for Griffin, the pocket-sized one that I keep in my purse, that is really simple is working like a charm I am still happy to report. Griffin and I are having a blast together and he is having far fewer meltdowns and when he does have one it is less intense. I am keeping a journal of the ones he has and the circumstances for TEACCH, we go back tomorrow, so that we can maybe make some sense of what is going on with them.

I made some signs for Griffin to use for when either of us get upset and need to use our words: "Mom, you are angry please take a break" and "Mom, I need a break" and "Mom, my feelings are hurt". I am hoping that those will help him and me too. Maybe I should make some for me to use too!

It's SO Simple

Griffin and I were so privileged to go to TEACCH on Monday and I say that because people get on waiting lists for months even a year or more at a time to get in so I am pleased to work with them. We have worked with them before my foot surgery but the results have never been so great as they are now. Griffin worked with Ann and he later told me that they talked about feelings happy and sad but he did not want to elaborate any further. She did not tell me what they did while working together but Jon is going to send me a summary of what we talked about. Jon is the individual with whom I spoke to about what was going on with Griffin lately and what was most important, that I really wanted to target right now. Those areas included: aggression and meltdowns which kind of go hand in hand but for someone dealing with autism knows that they can be separate all together and have nothing to do with one another.

So, Jon helped me simplify the schedule that I had been using by telling me that all I had to do is to use a small notebook to carry in my purse and to merely use a checklist and put only one to two activities ahead of time just so that he would know what was coming, that I didn't have to be so detailed as I thought I had to be all this time. I had been lagging behind in keeping up with Griffin's schedule because as a bipolar person or as myself I find it personally very hard for me to be organized, and detail oriented so now that the schedule is limited to a simple notebook with just a few items it works better for both of us and there have been no meltdowns so far since then I am happy to report!

We go back next week to continue to do more work and I am so excited. Griffin seems to enjoy going there too. I am also going to keep a journal on his meltdowns: when he has them, where, what the apparent trigger was or alleged trigger was, what the environment factors were, who was around, maybe not even that detailed but just for me to put some headings on my note pad and jot down some data for future reference and data collection for the experts would help to figure out what might be going on in his mind and to decode his behavior.

I am so proud of him and the patience that Griffin has most the time, he can really hold it together....it truly amazes me! He sits in the doctors office while I have my appointments and uses my phone to play games, sometimes getting frustrated but when I tell him that it is time to take a break he does not argue and moves on to something else. Right now, he is taking a break from the computer so that I can use it and he is being creative with his time being patient, I shouldn't be surprised because he is an intelligent guy with a great imagination.

We are still praying for my Aunt Patty and her family and that they will get to move here soon, if you could offer your prayers too that would be appreciated. She has stage 4 cancer and she lives with her daughter and three granddaughters. They mean the world to me and I would love nothing else than to have them to move here to be near family because where they live they are all alone and have no support. My former husband had cancer years ago, he had it for a long time before going through remission going through chemo and radiation so I understand the hell and pain of it all.

I understand how important it is to have support because neither my husband or I had support when he was going through it and that makes it 10 times the hell that it is in the first place. I love you Aunt Patty and Mindy you are so dear to me!

My Birthday

This will be brief because Griffin is waiting for his turn on the computer but today is my birthday and my dad's. Today I went out with Griffin to the lake early enough that it wasn't so hot in the shade then we went swimming inside at the YMCA where the water was so nice and cool, then we went to Cold Stone Creamery and got an ever so small "like it" sized ice cream for a treat.

We are totally broke, have a hole in the radiator in the car and the air conditioner doesn't work so we can't always take Abby (our service dog) because she gets so hot just traveling from place to place even though she goes in everywhere with us she still wears a fur coat after all. Griffin gets upset because he has to help me open the hood of the car because it takes two people, my car is a 2000 model, and sometimes he simply doesn't feel like helping open the hood to put water in the car.

Gotta go, it is Griffin's turn on the computer. My time is up. I am going to go relax on the couch and either read or watch the DVR programs of the Science Channel I recorded. Welcome to my new friend from Homestyle Mama (with a side of autism).

Growing Boy

Griffin is now in an 18-20 size shorts and XL shirt, he wears a size 5 shoe but I think that he needs a new pair (he is not cooperating in that area right now). He weighs about 111 lbs. and is about 5 ft. tall. It seems that all he does is eat during the day, that he eats when he gets bored, that he eats automatically when there is nothing else to do with his hands, he just walks to the kitchen and opens up the fridge or cabinets and starts looking in. It is a constant battle. I try to distract him and discourage him and it has triggered tantrums but I do not give in. These are some of the ones that has led to him going after knives eventually.....that's how adamant he is about over-eating. FYI, he goes to a nutritionist on August 7 so she will have some helpful advice as to how to help Griffin with this problem as well as his issues as far as not eating a variety of foods. The pediatrician told me that he needs to slow down the rate in which he is gaining weight since he is 15 lbs overweight for his age, that for Griffin he does not need to lose weight merely slow his gaining rate. It is not as though we don't have healthy foods in the house but he has only resorted to tasting them with his tongue. Now, that is a big deal!

I asked his psychologist about Griffin's obsession with food and he said that he would get back to me on it. I try to keep Griffin outside the apartment as much as possible but it makes me tired because of my Fibromyalgia, it eventually hurts my feet (because I am still recovering from my surgery and I still need surgery on my left foot), and I have to keep in mind that it is very hot because our air conditioning doesn't work in our car therefore it makes us both miserable especially if it is beyond early morning.

Yesterday, Griffin wanted to go to the fountain downtown to play in the water and despite the fact that it was over 90 degrees outside I agreed and I took Abby which probably wasn't a good idea because the car was so hot while traveling. The temperature gauge in the car read 101 degrees probably because we were in traffic and there was no breeze, it was sweltering! It didn't seem to bother Griffin at all.

We made it downtown after driving about 20 minutes, I found the perfect parking space right in front of the fountain and I put enough change in for an hour and a half. I was ready to stay awhile and relax. There was a park bench in the shade right by the fountain where I could clearly see Griffin playing so I settled in with Abby reading my book, it actually felt pretty cool in the shade. It took Griffin awhile to get wet but he got used to the cold water as he walked around the dancing fountain while wearing his goggles (he cannot be near water without wearing his goggles), but after about 15 minutes he came up to me and told me that he was bored.


Oh well, I thought to myself. That is autism for ya! Gotta love 'em!  We sat on the bench and watched the birds for a few minutes then he was ready to go. I love my son and the things that I do for him are out of love. It does not matter that we drove in the heat just for 15 minutes in the fountain as long as he had fun. 

Griffin is Improving/Smart Strategies for Handling the Dreaded Meltdown

Martina wrote me after I wrote the article about meltdowns on Griffin as she was concerned about him and myself. I found the article that she posted most helpful and would like to share it with you:
http://www.becomeananny.com/blog/smart-strategies-for-handling-the-dreaded-meltdown/ . It includes checking your child for hunger and sickness as a source for a trigger perhaps it is a sensory issue that is a trigger? There are many suggestions on there that I like and giving choices is one of them because that is important to me. Griffin has a menu at home that it gets to choose 2 items off of for his meals.....most of the time when we have the food in the house....and that seems to make him much happier and satisfied, feeling in control of himself.

I won't give them all away but one of the biggies on there is to not take it personally. WOW! Sometimes, that is really hard for me! Being a single parent I find it hard to not take it personally because after all who else would he be "targeting"? When he is not "targeting" anyone at all. He is not going after me, that is until he hits me or attacks me...then it is personal. Otherwise, his words are not directed at me he really does not mean to be hurtful and cut me with his tongue. I must keep in mind that he is autistic, that he is innocent and only 10 years old with limited life experience. He loves me unconditionally and would never hurt me intentionally/knowingly.....it would crush him to know that he hurt his mom (at least after the fact).

Griffin is a happy-go-lucky guy who loves to laugh and play imaginary games, who loves to play with his stuffed animals like Barney, Big Bird, Elmo, Teletubbies, The Muppets, Looney Tunes, and a plethora of all kinds of wildlife animals especially wild birds. He loves spending time on the computer looking at images of these characters plus the Geico gecko and the Aflac duck, and YouTube videos that other kiddos have made. So far, I monitor what he does and he has not gone to any site that is inappropriate, he has been told what is not okay and he stays away from them.

I can't help but to wonder if this recent change in Griffin is being brought on by hormonal changes or if it is his bipolar meds that need to be changed. I had a talk with him, thanks to Melinda and her great comment that she left here on the blog, on the last post.....thank you Melinda! That was so very helpful! Since then he has done well. I just told him that he is getting older and bigger and that when he gets older that things won't be so easy when he gets in trouble. And like she said, I didn't try to scare him but I do think that it did put a bit of a new perspective into him a new bit of respect into him. I think that now he knows that I am not putting up with anymore nonsense because I cannot......he is just too big and out of control. I can't use autism as an excuse all the time, sometimes his behaviors are just because he is not taking control of himself. I think that I have to get a grip on myself and be more firm with him and when he gets out of control in public if I think that it is not a sensory issue and his safety is compromised then I am going to have to put my foot down! I am just going to have to remind him of the rules and consequences and add some new ones if necessary. But I don't see that happening right now.

I would just like to have to avoid having to physically attempt anything with him because he is over half my weight and I just can't handle him that way. When his adrenaline gets to flowing he is incredibly strong as you all know how that goes. I only have my words to work with, I have to use my intelligence....God help me! Griffin is my treasure and I want to treat him with the utmost respect that he deserves, I want him to have high self-esteem but to know where his boundaries are for future reference because I only think that it could help not hinder him in his future endeavors.

Meltdown is an Overused Word These Days

It seems like all you hear these days is that kids are having "meltdowns" left and right and it is not limited to special needs kiddos anymore or was it ever? Anyhow, Griffin has something that is not a tantrum as most would believe it to be when witnessing it out in public....NO!!!! This behavior is sensory overload and/or triggers stemming from his autism and it is NOT because he is a brat! I feel so helpless when he has this behavior because all the techniques that I have been taught for all these years have not been working lately like helping him to calm himself down through deep breathing for example which is a great method for most people.

I have sought advice from so many sources and the best thing that I have come up with so far is to keep a journal of his behaviors and maybe I can figure out what the triggers are. Maybe I can figure out something that all these "meltdowns" have in common because it is not the time of day and Griffin has not had a schedule since he was born except once and it was disastrous. That was when family preservation was here and their "help" was not helpful. Griffin agreed to try it once more for school but he has always been the exception to the autistic rule for schedules. I tell him ahead of time what we are going to do and that seems to work fine.

So, I am hoping that maybe this journal will help me narrow down the sensory issues that he has and even though my psychologist tells me that I beat myself up too much and that I am always trying to be perfect, I think that I may be a factor in the whole scheme of things....he would disagree but it is a possibility that I am doing something wrong and triggering him myself. My doctor told me that I do not give myself enough credit for what I do for Griffin, that I have a lot on my plate caring for him and attending to my own mental illness and physical disabilities and that I need to make some changes in that area of my life. I know that I do but it is not easy. He always comes first for me and somewhere I fit into the picture.

I was talking to my mom yesterday and explaining to her the extent of Griffin's behavior and how I was getting kind of scared because when he loses his temper he really goes off on me and hits me and has recently started reaching for the knives as if to get one to go after me with it which I really don't think he would ever do but I have hidden them in order to avoid incidents in the future that might be violent. He always apologizes after he hits me and we talk about it and how it is not okay but it happens again and again.

Griffin seems to really like his new psychologist which is wonderful and he is really helping me to cope with Griffin's problems too.

Relaxation and Occupational Therapy

Spongebob Squarepants by: Griffin

Paul Taylor was kind enough to write to me and send me this link :

http://www.babysittingjobs.com/blog/10-relaxation-techniques-for-kids/  which includes techniques for your child to relax and they are very easy to do. I think that Griffin will have no problem doing them so I am going to incorporate them into our schedule each day. Thank you for sending that over Paul. He really needs to calm down and relax not only at night but during the day because he is not active which typically creates a calming effect physically which doesn't make sense but activity increases blood flow which helps to calm the muscles down when the activity ceases.

He had a huge meltdown at OT yesterday telling me that he didn't want to go to this OT anymore that he wants to go back to his old OT at the OH Center. He told me that he is so bored where he is and that there is nothing to do but his OT is so good with him and so kind, so good with me too but......time to move on I guess. I know that he needs OT, he still has sensory issues but does he need to go to OT, that is the question. I could just keep his OT stuff here at home......nah.....I think that he needs it outside of home because I can't give him everything that he needs. 

It's All About Relaxation

Griffin has calmed down considerably and his meltdowns have decreased in numbers and intensity thank goodness. His OT has taught me a trick to ask him "How is your engine running?" when he begins to get upset and that is his cue to begin to take measures to calm himself down with deep breathing. He knows that his engine can either be running too high, just right, or too low. If it is too low then he can run around or jump on a trampoline to rev up his engine and if it is just right then he know that there is nothing he needs to do. So, lately it has been working for me to ask him and he has been self-regulating no matter where we are even in Wal-Mart. I do forget to ask him when his engine is running "just right" or "too low" and do confess that I need to work on that. There are times when he is only sitting either at the computer or telling me that he is bored when I should ask him how his engine is running. Note to self: Ask Griffin how his engine is running more often.

I am praying for my Aunt Patty who is undergoing chemo for stage 4 cancer and wish that I could be with her so that I could give her hugs and show her my support. I wish that she could meet Griffin because I know that she would fall in love with him and that he would bring such delight to her. My parents are with her now which I am grateful for because she needs the support. Even if Griffin and I had the money to go it wouldn't be possible to go because we are having car problems and I don't think that Griffin would tolerate such a long road trip. I guess that we would have to fly but the last time we did that he didn't do well either. Travel is so hard, I think, for autistic individuals because it is so unpredictable besides the security check is hard enough let alone the rest of it!

I took Griffin to the doctor because he has been complaining of a stomachache and the doctor said that it is anxiety, Griffin agreed that he had been nervous. So, I made an appointment with a new psychologist to address the issues that have been bothering Griffin. I am not quite sure exactly what all is going on with him as he is not telling me the whole story. He does tell me some abstract things that don't really make sense but nothing concrete that I could change. I am hoping that if I leave the room that he will tell the doctor what is bothering him. 

I am still having an issue with Griffin coming into my bed in the middle of the night because he says that his TV scares him. So, I removed the TV and he continued to do it. I told him that 5th graders do not sleep with their mothers and that didn't work. I have tried taking away privileges and that didn't work. He is afraid and I have tried to alleviate his fears but I am not a professional so I don't know what to say. Sometimes he doesn't even know what he is afraid of he is just afraid but then I wonder if he is just holding on to me and afraid of growing up. This is why I need a doctor! 

How Our Summer is Going

I haven't been on the computer much since school has been out, Griffin spends time on it mostly, I am on the Android sending out e-mail and on Facebook when I do something while on the couch resting my foot and knee. I just found out that I have a torn meniscus in my left knee that I do not know how I injured unless it was when I was in the wheelchair. Anyhow, I have been hobbling around like a little old lady in a lot of pain and trying to do as much as I can with Griffin but at the same time I have to take it easy on my foot too still. I went to see my foot doc and he told me that it was still too early to not take into consideration the fact that I had major surgery on it only 3 months ago and that it was normal to still be on pain meds.

Griffin is not so violent with his meltdowns but they are still frequent even though I am giving him fair warning of what we are doing ahead of time and we are in a routine. We do things the same every day except for appointment days but those are not necessarily the days he has the meltdowns.

I am tired. I will write more another night that I stay up late and have access to the computer again LOL! I do miss reading my dear friend's blogs but it really is uncomfortable to sit here because it makes my foot throb.

I hope that my Aunt Patty and the whole family gets to move here, I would love so much for them to get to meet Griffin and I would love so much to hug her again! I love you Aunt Patty!

Scroll Down for Post, These Are Just Beautiful Photos