Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons

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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Incident at Our Favorite Library and Some Really Good News

Griffin and I were going to one specific library where we knew everyone who worked there and got along famously in fact I even volunteered there two days a week. Well, apparently they didn't understand Griffin's autism as much as I thought they had and apparently they didn't think of him as fondly as I had presumed.

There was one librarian, Elizabeth, who unfairly targeted Griffin when it came to asking him to quiet down whereas she nor anyone else asked the people breaking the rules who were talking on their cell phones, having loud conversations, and especially no one spoke to the parents of the kids who were running around and screaming and were old enough to know better that is if anyone had taught them. Well, one day Elizabeth got in Griffin's face when he was, as usual, using headphones and watching a video. Of course he felt that his space had been invaded and she had overwhelmed him by talking to him while he was listening and watching. So he had a knee jerk reaction and barely pushed her out of his face and yelled "I need space". They told me that he had to leave without even listening to me defend him and his behavior and even though there was only 15 minutes left until closing. Griffin knows full well exactly what time the library closes and of course he is used to leaving at that time. He started to have a meltdown screaming that it was not five o'clock yet and it wasn't time to go. I couldn't get him to leave until after a major battle because they had said that they were calling the police. So I panicked . By the way, in over a year's time NO ONE has ever ever complained about Griffin's behavior while on the computer he whispers when he sings and dances in the chair but most everyone who comes there already knows him and just goes about their own business.

Needless to say that I stopped volunteering there and haven't gone back since except to leave a letter that Griffin's therapist wrote to them about him being unfairly targeted and how if the police were called that it would be horribly traumatic for him and that he has never hurt anyone nor ever would. So far I haven't heard from the librarian, Lisa, but Griffin still wants to go there so something has got to be worked out and I am afraid that my mama bear is going to come out and ruin it.

For now we are going to the other county's library where no one complains or gives Griffin a hard time about his singing and dancing in the chair. The worst that has happened is that people look at him funny and I just give them a long stare as if to ask if they have a problem with my son.

In other news, good news is that Griffin was accepted to autism camp and that my mom gave me the cash I needed for the deposit. The camp gave him a $1200.00 scholarship so now I am waiting for one more scholarship for $400.00 to pay for the rest. Fingers crossed! This is the same camp where he went for two consecutive years in 2010 and 2011 and absolutely loved it. I am so excited for him. It will be so good for him to make friends and to socialize but especially to spend some quality time out of doors.

Griffin and I have been having so much fun homeschooling and playing each and every day. He is such a quick learner and so eager to learn that if I am lagging behind on doing studies or if I am not feeling well then he has done studies on his own I noticed one day when going through his papers. He had actually gone through and read his science books making a life cycle chart of animals, the hierarchy of the food chain and facts about presidents and civil war history. I am so very proud of him he has matured and grown so much in just the past year.

Also super good news is that Griffin and I are getting to know his only sister who lives only an hour from us in SC , Rochelle. She is so sweet and kind and so excited to one day get to meet us in person but she works six days a week and is waiting for two days off so that we can spend some time together. I found out about her because their dad, Sam, had gotten in touch with me through a third party and wants to finally be a part of Griffin's life and to really be a dad to him. He has even written some letters to him. Griffin was excited to hear from his dad but he is still just a stranger to him so it will take awhile before he is able to begin to grow close to him in fact Sam has a lot of proving to do to show Griffin that he truly does have the integrity to deserve the title of "Dad". Griffin has so much love in his heart that he is always eager to share his love with anyone which is wonderful but at the same time I hope that it doesn't mean a great deal of heartache in his future. He is so kind and compassionate and I just don't ever want my sweet young man to ever be damaged. He is my universe!

The other night when we were snuggling he said, and I quietly cried, that if I died that he would die and that if he died that I would die and that is what love is. I knew what he meant because we have such an intense bond between us that even if it were not literal then figuratively  we would perish if either one of did leave the other, in spirit. I sit here in the library with tears welling up in my eyes at just the thought of it.

But as we live in the present moment all is wonderful and beautiful, we are as happy as we possibly could ever be. I have been reading some books that have facilitated me in being in the present moment at almost all the time which has enabled me to discontinue a few of my medicines one of which was an anxiety medicine because I no longer have any anxiety in my life no matter what happens I am able to breathe through it and be mindful. No longer do I need to distract myself from stress and issues I merely breathe and find that there is no such thing as stress it is merely our thoughts that put us in that situation they are not real. If we think of the past or future then that is the problem because what is happening in the moment is all that is real.

Love and peace to all. Have a blessed day!