Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons

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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

You are so Right Melissa H, Thank You my Dear Friend

I will no longer write to or concerning the anon individual who keeps posting and subtley attacking me about how I am being an overly sensitive mom and that the teacher from Griffin's past was "doing her best". No longer will I waste my energy on this, I have support from my friends who totally know the two of us and who know that I am a damn good mom to my son!!!!!

Almost a week ago I took Griffin to his pediatrician and the two of us agreed that we would try Focalin XR for Griffin's attention difficulties and by is working like a charm! He has excellent reports from school that his behavior is stellar and he is progressing again as he once was. Since it is an ADD med then I thought that he has ADD but the child psychologist that we went to see yesterday explained to me that he does not have multiple diagnosis, that those behaviors and challenges are part of being autistic, even the once thought of...bipolar disorder. I had no idea of this even though I have spent years and years researching and studying all about autism. I guess that some docs do give multiple diagnosis and that's okay, as long as the child is getting what he/she needs.

I am noticing fewer meltdowns, virtually none, and a much happier young man who is the happy-go-lucky little goober that he once was. No longer is life a big fat challenge where making a simple decision is a major ordeal. And what's really great is that he is responding well to the lowest dose possible, he is not even up to the theraputic dosage.

Another thing that I learned from the child psychologist is that there is a list of things to do and not to do in order to help one's child become more independent and the first two are the least intrusive thereby causing no meltdowns (or at least fewer) and the others are most likely to cause emotional disturbances and create a more dependent child. It goes as follows:

eye contact least intrusive most independent
visual aids more intrusive less independent
verbal cues more intrusive more dependent
tactile help most intrusive most dependent

So if you can get the message across through eye contact then it is ideal and visual cues are most effective in that they teach the child to be more independent (like PECS or even pointing to the task) or for Griffin I just write on a piece of paper and make a visual schedule for him (now I do). To verbally give instructions takes away independence and frustrates the child because he/she is not doing things on their own. Of course helping a child with hand over hand or leading them to where the task is to be executed is the most intrusive. And I am so guilty of doing that. I used to lead Griffin to the bathtub to take a shower and every time he would have a meltdown so now I just point and he is fine. Isn't it amazing how simple things can be?


Anonymous said...

I was not attacking you as a mom and don't worry I won't post again. You take things in the wrong way and there is no way I can change that. I never said you were not a good mom just noted my observations on your dynamics with your son's teachers. The cases where I see a child perform well is where the parents do not see teachers as enemies (even if the teachers are not perfect)but know it might be a difficult job to teach children. I wish you the best.

Anonymous said...

Sure, she is supposed to get along with and trust the teacher who has no idea how to "teach" and who used punishment procedures rather than positive behavior support (which is required under the law by the way. Look up IDEA, it might help you)! You really are ONE obnoxious person.

Jeanette said...

Hi Lora
I looked back over my old posts and saw you leaving me comments. So sorry I missed them. Now I know you are out there. I see you are having trouble with a negative poster. Im sorry you have been having so much trouble. Please dont let it get you down. Come by and visit my blog. New pics and stories on it. Peace from Maine. Jeanette

Jeanette said...

Hi Lora, thats because I created too many blogs. My interests are so varied.... try and and
sheesh. cant make up my mind.

Melissa H said...

I'm so glad that the new med is working so well! It sounds like you have found a wonderful doctor and that makes such a world of difference.