Last night I did something that I wasn't supposed to do but I was left without a choice. All the doctor's offices were closed and at 5:00 sharp my fibro flared up horribly. It rendered me helpless and utterly useless. All I could do was to lie down on the couch. So I made the decision to take an additional Provigil when I am only supposed to take two a day. It took about 30 minutes but when it took effect I was feeling so much better and able to move around. I had to do something, I had to take care of Griffin.
I expected to be up all night, as Provigil is used for energy, but I took my night meds and 1 1/2 Attivan and got sleepy around 10:00. My psych doc doesn't want me to take Attivan on a regular basis because it is a benzodiazapine and one can build up a tolerance to it and ultimately get addicted to it. I am nowhere near that but until I can see my psych doc again I am just going to have to make the best of it. I have to function and when I get stressed over Griffin having meltdowns it only makes things worse. I have nobody to watch Griffin for me to give me a break so I just have to do the best that I can.
When we were in Alaska I had little/sporatic support and we were very isolated and now I am feeling that way again. We moved here to be near friends and family but when it comes down to it....there is nobody to help. Autism + bipolar +ADHD mixed in with bipolar + fibromyalgia = a lot of stress! For both of us!
It is nice when I get to sit here and write, sometimes I get on Facebook and communicate with my friends, but I have to share the computer with Griffin because he needs to have something to do too, so I have spare time and no money to go anywhere and it is just not a lot of fun. To put it mildly. He is out of school until Jan. 4th so I hope that we can manage until then. Sometimes my patience is not up-to-par so I just have to back off and try to maintain my sanity.
No comments:
Post a Comment