Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons

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Sunday, December 27, 2009

December 2005 - Severe Depression & Hospitalization

Four years ago our lives were so different and even though I was grateful for all that was in my life, namely Griffin, I was in severe depression. I ended up having to go to the hospital because I needed my meds changed and it was the first time I was separated from Griffin. It hurt so bad, I thought that I was going to die from heartache. We were apart for a week and all I did was cry. I talked to him on the phone and here you can see that he fell asleep listening to me tell him "I love you" over and over again.

Strangely enough, this year was my second hospitalization (September) but it was for severe mania instead. It was still very painful and this time was different for Griffin. This time he knew more about what was going on and it bothered him tremendously. He had a delayed reaction of about a week or two and cried almost uncontrollably. It took him a few times to try to explain what he was feeling but it came out..."Mommy, I missed you when you were in the hospital". I explained to him that mommy was sick and had to be there but that mommy missed him too and didn't like being away from him. He accepted that answer and seemed to understand.

We have come a very long way and I love him more and more with each passing day. I am now stable on my bipolar meds but will be changing them again soon. I just hope that I continue to remain stable to ensure our quality of life.


coolkid said...

your both so brave, i think you both complete eachother, you can feel the bond between you with every word you say.

I do not have bi polar but i do suffer severe bouts of depression. I can relate to the tiredness, insomnia, pressure, everything.

your an inspiration to so many mothers that even in the toughest moments you can pull through, yes it will not be perfect at the other end but there is another end to begin with

you are a credit to your son and i really hope you are told that when ever you need to hear it most xx

Lora said...

Lora, I found your blog while poking around on google looking for myself. I was Googling Lora and fibromyalgia and arthritis and mental health issues (all things I live with) and found this blog. Also, we are both Leos born in the year of the Dragon.
So, hello there Lora. It's nice to meet a kindred spirit.

Your blog and your boy are beautiful, I look forward to reading more of your posts.

You posted this quite some time ago, but I wanted to say that it must have been so awfully hard, but you did the right thing, and making sure that you are well is the only way you will be the best mother to GB when you are together.
Love to you both.