Thursday, March 24, 2011
Griffin had a HELLacious meltdown last night and I didn't handle things very well because I slipped and had a cigarette. Yes I had one! It was only one and I was so stressed because his meltdown was horrid he was screaming and crying and no matter what I did I couldn't get him to stop and it was making me crazy! For those of you who don't know, I quit smoking about 8 months ago after smoking for about 25 years so it's a big deal that I slipped and had a cigarette. Griffin was upset because when we were sitting at the computer together and something popped up for an Adobe update so since we use Adobe I clicked on it not knowing what was about to ensue. So we sit there as it is downloading and I click on it again as it asks for permission again and if I agree to the rights and responsibilities so as I am clicking on that Griffin gets upset all of a sudden and burst out in tears to not download anything to the computer. By now it is too late because it is already downloading and I can't stop it and I explain that to him, that there was no way that I could have undone what I have done and that computers need things downloaded to them sometimes because it helps them to work better. But that did not help him at all.
I just didn't know what to do in this situation to help him because the download was already going on and by this time it had already disappeared from the computer completely so I go to the computer to show him that it is gone but it didn't help at all! He is screaming at the top of his lungs and crying and I am helpless. I use what his teacher tells him that if he has a meltdown that I am going to have a meltdown and that didn't help he didn't care by then. I tried giving him lots of hugs but to no avail he wouldn't have it. So if someone has the answer I would love to know what you would have done to make things better because I just don't know.
The meltdown ended eventually, I just waited it out and let him have his space and he calmed down on his own, sometimes that is what I have to do. We did some sensory stuff like rolling him out like a pancake with a big ball he really likes that and big hugs and snuggling. So the ending was good!
I am now taking Doxepin for sleep and it is working better than any of the others have YEAH!!!!! I slept so well last night and zonked out right after Griffin did as I never take my medicine while he is awake. I like this medicine because it works with my natural rhythm of sleep because it causes me to sleep when I am closest to being tired (as I don't generally get tired due to being more manic most the time than depressed) not just when I take the medicine and it doesn't make me sleep too hard so that I am able to sleep lightly enough to wake up if I need to for Griffin. I have the greatest doctor in the world and I am so grateful that he is so tuned in to what I need. My insomnia is really a major obstacle in my life and interferes with any kind of "normal" functioning so it is nice to be able to sleep every night and to wake in the morning feeling refreshed!