Griffin Is Having So Much Fun at Swim Lessons

It really bugs me that I no longer have a way to take photos of Griffin anymore since I don't have a smart phone or camera anymore because I would like for you to see his gorgeous smiling face when he takes swim lessons. He is having such a great time and learning so much. Unfortunately the best teacher there at the Y is gone for awhile since her mom has breast cancer and she went to be with her. I feel bad for her and we will miss her because she specializes in autism and has such a great personality.

I can't believe that summer is almost over and school will start soon. I sure will all the fun that we have had over the summer, I am kind of glad that Griffin didn't go to camp ...that is my selfish self since we have laughed and played so much.

My meditation is still continuing and it has helped me transform into a much nicer and much more compassion/understanding person. I guess that you could say that I am proud of the happy positive person that I have become.

Our Summer of 2014

The first pic is a collage that Griffin put together on the computer for his blog, "The Character Blog" and the second is a fairly recent photo of him.

He is now 5 ft. 9 inches and about 180 lbs. I am teaching him the Greek language as I used to speak it fluently because I taught myself since I was married to a man, fresh from Greece, for 10 years while living in Alaska.. I also taught myself to read and write Greek therefore I will teach him the alphabet and numbers and later to read and write it which is pretty tricky yet easier than English. I have heard, when I went to Europe several times, that English is one of the most difficult languages to learn/speak.

Griffin and I are having a fantastic summer. We have been staying quite busy indeed going to our appointments almost daily then fitting in swimming and going to the lake to feed the geese and ducks. Griffin just adores the little ducklings and goslings. It is all than he can do to resist picking them up. It boggles my mind how parents do not respect animals enough to supervise their children to respect wildlife and not pick them up because they are so fragile and their tiny wings can be damaged. Just because they are adorable does not make them pet-like and cuddly like a puppy or kitten. They are wild animals and should be treated as such they are not domesticated.

Speaking of domestication...I have read  The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz and I highly recommend them both. They have changed my life completely! I am a new totally positive individual who resists and avoids negativity as much as possible. If someone is negative around me then I do my best to turn it around. Don Miguel writes about how we as a society are domesticated into believing lies that the media and other people tell us on a daily basis. We have learned to live by a certain set of rules that our parents programmed into us as well as our society as a whole and in the interim we forget our innocence as a child and grow up. Forgetting how to play and have fun in a wholesome way. Oftentimes our idea of fun is to go out and drink alcohol and lose ourselves in other people ideals of what we should be while always stressing out by trying to live up to their standards.

I have decided that I am going to get in touch with myself through meditation not medication and to live in the moment appreciating all that I am blessed with and to forget my worries about the future and past. It is not easy to forget my domestication and all the restrictions that have been placed on me but by golly...it sure is worth it in the whole scheme of things! I have a brand new appreciation and respect as an Aspie for Griffin and all that he goes through as someone with classic autism. I have realized that we have more in common than I had ever thought before. We both have sensory issues, auditory/verbal processing issues, and we both think out loud in order to process our information. 

Since I have started my transformation and meditation, Griffin and I have been getting along so much better. So much so that we interact much more rather than sitting in the same room in our own little boxes doing our own insignificant things. Now he doesn't have meltdowns anymore and no longer yells at me and I am a better mom as well. I am continuing on with reading books that encourage my transformation and if I watch TV I do not watch commercials that tell me that I should be or look a certain way in order to be accepted or to love myself nor do I watch regular news that only focus on the negative and not the real news of what is going on. I watch the PBS or BBC news that is strictly news and not human interest stories because PBS and BBC do not have a limited world view.

I am going to get back into reading my friend's blogs and leaving comments to let them know that I am thinking of them and care about what is going on in their lives.

My Photo Collage of Special Memories

I just put this together, I need to make a more current one but have yet to print out the pics.

Hopefully you can see the details in this. Sadly the only thing missing is a pic of my mom which I couldn't locate but I will be sure that she is in the next one. I will be doing it soon.

This one has my dad, Abby, our kitty Pisgah from when we lived in Alaska, my brother (God rest his soul), and my parent's dog Jade ( God rest her soul). A couple of me and one of the ex husband, Spiro's (the love of my life who was present when Griffin was born). He and I lost touch..he is in Greece now.

Griffin spilled milk on my/this brand new phone and nearly ruined it. I got upset because I cannot afford to replace it and caused him anxiety which he gets so very easily these days....so I am taking him swimming so he/we can decompress.

We are both looking forward to summer break. Busy schedule ahead.

Cane Creek

We Miss Our Abby Girl!

Yesterday I finally found the courage to take Abby our retired service dog to the shelter to be euthanized because she has been in a lot of pain for quite some time. She had hip dysplasia or arthritis in her hips because it was difficult for her to walk and to get up and down,  especially in the car.

I cried all day but when I told Griffin he took it very well saying, "I knew today was the day that Abby died!" I didn't tell him that I had her put to sleep only that she died.....I guess that when he is older I will explain it to him because eventually he will read this blog and besides, he deserves to know the truth.


Abby was about 2 years old when we adopted her around 10 years ago, Griffin was only 2 years old himself. 
I got her because I had noticed that when my friend 
Nina`s dog was around that he didn`t have self injurous behaviors like banging his head so then I went to the shelter in 
Anchorage and discovered our angel. She was named 
Valentine but I wanted a name that was easier for 
Griffin to pronounce. Since then, for 9 years, 
Abby had litterally gone everywhere with us....on trains, buses, in the cabin of the airplanes, cars, and always accompianed us in the stores. She was so loved and a big part of our family bit 
I just couldn`t let her suffer anymore. I felt so selfish keeping her alive. 
Her suffering has ended,  she lives on in a better place, and forever in our hearts and memories with great fondness.

We also got a new cat from the shelter named" Link". He is a 5year old orange tabby and very affectionate.  Griffin loved him immediately! I don't know how to add a second photo since I am doing this from my phone but will add one in the next post.

Dot is tolerating Link and Link is really cool about Dot, I think they will be buddies eventually.

We Are Doing Great!

Griffin is growing like a sprout.........more like the Jolly Green Giant actually! He is now 178 lbs. and 5 ft. 7 inches. He towers above me and gives great hugs! With each passing day he is more and more affectionate and we get along just splendidly! If we happen to have a disagreement or he isn't listening to me and I get impatient with him, it is really brief and we make up right away.

`I couldn't get this picture rotated because it was sent like this and couldn't be changed.
But here is Griffin next to one of his all time favorite mascots.

Griffin's favorite pastime is collecting advertising icons and mascots, photos, characters, and drawing them. I encourage him to create his own but so far he is just into imitating other established ones. But boy is he ever really good at it. I will take a picture of them and post them. He has his own blog "The Character Blog" that he writes in once in awhile.

I adore him so much and am so very grateful for every single moment in this life that he is alive, each moment that I can share with him. Blessed Be!

Griffin as Colonel Sanders of KFC

Griffin wanted to dress up as the late Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken because one of his most favorite things to do is to draw, search for online, and collect advertising icons from days past.

So last night he thought that he would take it one step further and look like the real thing by putting white paint in his hair.

We are still doing intensive in home bit we don't really need it anymore because things are going so well. His behavior is stellar and he is sleeping much better as long as I don't put him to bed too early. He still goes to school late but the teachers and I have that all worked out.

Griffin at the Sleep Study

Last weekend Griffin had a sleep study conducted and it was miserable!  He patiently allowed the technician to place all the electrodes all over his head and body but he was so uncomfortable that he couldn't sleep all night. On top of that he was scared because he was in a strange place and they wouldn't allow me to sleep next to him.

By the time we got to sleep in the wee hours of the morning the tech came and woke us up at 5:00 a.m. Griffin took a shower to get the goop off then went back to sleep, I wasn't able. I got him up at 10:00 for breakfast he fell asleep on the way home then once home, we both fell asleep until 2:00 in the afternoon.

Not only was that night miserable but it took us several days to catch up on our sleep.

Griffin and Hugh

This is Griffin with one of his Intensive in Home workers.

Griffin Is So Affectionate

When we go to feed the ducks and geese, Griffin just can't resist picking up a duck because he wants to snuggle with everything he loves so much.

It Is My Goal As Griffin's Only Parent In His Life To Teach HIm To Love HImself For Exactly Who He Is.

Griffin enjoys spending time outside our home, going out and seeing people, mostly adults because he simply doesn't understand his peers and his peers don't seem to understand him even though they are friendly and will greet him that is as far as it goes. The teachers at school say that the kids are nice to him but he reports to me that all he does at recess and P.E. is stand around by himself. This greatly concerns me because he not only asked me why it is important to have friends (at school) but I just I am also concerned that he is just relying on me as his sole relationship where he gets all his attention and friendship from. However, he does see his Intensive In Home team three times a week and his respite provider once a week he just does't have any interest in interacting with his peers. When the neighborhood kids are outside playing and making noise he gets very upset by this and yells out the window or runs out the front door to tell them to be quiet in a very angry and frustrated tone. 

Maybe I shouldn't care so much, after all I do have friends who homeschool their children and tell me that they do not have social groups for their autistic kids. I do not know that it is a great idea to not help them learn how to socialize with individuals their own age because I do want him to have a fun childhood where he experience the joys of being carefree and playing while developing friendships with kids who could be there for him as support throughout his school years. I also think that it fosters strong self-esteem and self worth especially now that he is in puberty and he doesn't seem to understand the dynamics of the importance of knowing someone who has things in common with oneself so that he can learn more about how the world works not only as an autistic individual but learn how neurotypical kids differ yet could be a buddy to him as well. The neighborhood kids have tried playing with him but Griffin can't participate with them in the way that they want him to. He is not at the same level emotionally, physically, or developmentally so there is a gap there and I don't know how to bridge that gap and help them to find a way to get along. So they end up ignoring him and walking away when he comes near or if they stay they don't try to talk to him but I can't blame them completely because Griffin doesn't know how to communicate with them either.

After all it is a hallmark of autism that the individual only likes to talk about himself and the things that he is interested in and has difficulty talking or showing interest in what the other person wants to talk about or do. This is a big problem when trying to socialize because in order to get an autistic individual to come into your world and out of his is to make an effort in showing interest in him and what gets him excited such as with Griffin he is interested in commercials and advertising icons especially the vintage ones. He has all of the icons and mascots memorized and loves to look them up on YouTube and to draw them for hours. He collects the plush toys too (has way too many as a matter of fact but he takes great care of them). And because Griffin is so emotionally/mentally young for age 12 his peers are not interested in playing with the same kinds of things that he does. He does a lot of imaginary play with his toys. His therapist said that it is harmless and that it shouldn't be discouraged, that he will grow and develop at his own rate and time.

I want Griffin to be happy but to have a rich experience as a child before he becomes a teenager and doesn't want to do things that a child does and becomes interested in things that are perhaps more dark and violent such as video games or something along those lines that teenagers get into. He may not though because he is a furry and furries are forever. They grow up into adult furries who dress up in costumes and have an exclusive group who go to conventions and have online chat rooms where they can communicate with each other so that they can be understood and feel accepted. Possibly even finding someone who loves them for who they are and does not judge them as being weird or inappropriate, Griffin does know how to love unconditionally and accept others for who they are without judgment, he is such a sweet boy that I worry about him. He will find love but I just hope that no one takes advantage of his kindness and naivete. 

I know what it is like because people have taken advantage of me my whole life and treated me like I am stupid. I used to be referred to as a dumb blonde, now it is as if I am invisible now that I am not the attractive blonde anymore but just a plain Jane who refuses to conform to society's  pressures to look and act a certain way in order to fit in. I refuse to put that kind of pressure on myself as I used to and to have that level of anxiety and to be a practicing alcoholic who self-medicates in order to try to fit in. I don't ever want Griffin to feel that pressure, I want him to feel that he is perfect exactly the way that he is and to be proud of being autistic. If he wants to wear pink and play with toys then others will just have to deal with it. I am teaching him to be himself and to nurture the person he is as being different and that if others do not accept him then that is their problem not his. They have a narrow mind and don't know how to love others for who they are which means that they do not love themselves because they project hate and disapproval due to society's norms.

I hope that all parents teach their children to love themselves for who they genuinely are and to not try to fit in socially just because that is what the media and the religions, and the schools and government teach us.....to conform. If it means that he doesn't play with others who do not accept him then so be it! He prefers to play alone anyhow and I know that one day someone, even if it is only one person, someone will accept him and love him as the person who he is and will show interest in his interests and talk to him for hours.

Gosh Darnit!!! Still Having *%***#$% Sleeping Issues!!!!!!!!

This is Griffin sleeping in the hallway where he goes after he eats early in the middle of the night, (I just make sure that he has a warm blanket and a pillow and leave him be), as in the above photo of the peanut and jelly sandwich with the milk that he finished off. LOL! I have no idea why he prefers to sleep in the hallway but I did things like that when I was a baby/child in order to find comfort when I climbed out of my crib especially once when I was 9 months old and broke my arm and my parents had no choice but to put a board over my crib in order to keep me in just in case there was a fire or something so that they could find me since I would go off and hide. If I could do it now I would hide in closets and sleep because they would be cozy and dark , they would feel safer than the wide open spaces of the apartment rooms. That's what weighted blankets are good for and I use it for Griffin but it doesn't work because he won't stay on the bed therefore I am looking into a weighted vest. I think that would help him at school as well with his frustration levels as well with his peers.

He has been having a difficult time with transitioning from going to school late these past few months because actually he prefers to go to school early and sleep in school but not his teachers. They prefer that he stay home and sleep it off then come in but his intensive in home worker says that the teachers can't say that so....I don't know? I will have to check into it. I don't know what is best for him. I really don't think that sleeping in school is a good idea, it doesn't send a good message yet going late doesn't either. But he goes back to the doctor Monday and I am going to recommend that he goes to have a sleep study because I think that he has sleep apnea.....I really think that is what is waking him up at night especially since he is a mouth breather. He has already had his tonsils and adenoids out but he still snores.

Since we reduced the Risperdal his behavior has become a bit more aggressive but not too bad, not as though it is intolerable. He just screams a lot....even at school and usually at the other autistic child. He just gets frustrated with his peers because they talk to him too much.I really get the strong feeling that one certain teacher doesn't care for him, doesn't try with him, and certainly has no clue about autism because for one thing she walked out on an IEP meeting saying that Griffin just didn't apply himself......AAARRGGG!!! She sent home homework that was far too difficult for him after I told her so, she ignored my requests for a parent/teacher conference etc..Now Griffin is saying that he is afraid to go to her classroom because she won't listen to him and that she doesn't understand him. When I ask about it, nobody wants to address the issue.

 Griffin and I don't like to talk very much or answer many questions, we like our space and quiet time. A lot of people take it personally but that is usually because they aren't autistic and just don't understand that way of thinking so we have to understand them and realize that they mean well ,most of the time even when they hurt our feelings.....we have to learn to not take it personally ourselves to maintain some dignity and self-esteem.

We have to be proud of our accomplishments and not expect others to give us kudos and atta-boys, for having done something that we are proud of because that should come from within...not even from a therapist or doctor or friend. Just a sense of accomplishment, joy, pride, and rejuvenation of the spirit that I've done something once again or something new that makes you feel alive, stimulates the intellect which makes me happier than all the money in the world (I know because I've had plenty of money before to do with what I pleased), Feeling talented and appreciated is like the highest compliment that anyone could pay me, then to tell me that I can write about any three subjects that I want to???? How flattering is that? I am so excited to write for Answers.com/Psychology  I don't have that article completed yet, not for a week or so but it will be very interesting I guarantee that it will be about something you have probably never heard of yet it is quite common...all around you. Later I will be writing about autism as well after I write some articles about psychology/mental disorders which really intrigue me. But of course autism is what I know the most about, have done the most research on, had the most experience with, and that is where my heart lies.

My last article was about anxiety and here is the link for it: Fight or Flight Response: Anxiety
I am going to have to write to the support staff because part of it is illegible so please bear with me, and read it anyhow because it is only a small part. I would really appreciate your feedback.

Everything Is Great and Everything Is Lake?

Griffin came up with the title of the post. Isn't it great?

Griffin and I are finally sleeping!!!! I told the doctor what was working as far as the medications go, and she finally agreed with me that he could tolerate them and if that is what worked to get him to sleep through the night and to get up on time for the bus then go for it. Now he is not sleeping in class either so that is wonderful.

Not much else is going on except that I have been writing a lot more, I submitted my second article on anxiety to Answers.com. It's at: : http://depression.answers.com/anxiety/fight-or-flight-response-anxiety if you just click on the link it should take you straight there. So far nobody has left any comments which is a bummer! Writers always want feedback on the opinions of their work, after all the work is being published for the public and for their information/education....why not let us know how we are doing?

Everything at home is copacetic because Griffin and I are getting along just great, there's no worries and I am as happy as a clam doing what I do at home alone only going out when I need to or desire to, I don't go out and do things just because someone recommended it and put pressure on me. I have Aspie friends now who understand me and talking to them for a short while is all I need for company......other than Griffin of course.

Some people still won't believe that I have Asperger's and still believe that I am bipolar but that is not my problem. If I am to be judged by a neurotypical who doesn't even try to understand me then it is their loss not mine. I am going to live my life as I see fit without unsolicited advice on how to raise my child in which they do not understand either and Griffin and I will live happily ever after.

I don't appreciate being lied to and treated as though I am a child, I am a very intelligent individual who has always taken care of myself no matter how tough the situation.....more than you care to admit. I know what is going on with your lies and deceit but I play dumb just to be a mimic as I have lived my whole life for your sake not mine. It will not last this way because I will not have my intelligence insulted.....JUST STOP IT and leave me alone. I am so tired of playing your games, it is not genuine to me and if you don't believe in me and my son then there is no place for you in our lives. I AM NOT DEPRESSED OR BIPOLAR, I HAVE AUTISM!!!!Why can't you admit that?

You know who you are!

My Newly Published Article in Answers.com: Depression and Its Many Faces

Depression and Its Many Faces  is the link to the article that I wrote on the website Answers.com. It is about the different types of depression and a bit about the signs and symptoms. I will go into more detail about those in a subsequent article coming up soon. I have lived depression off and on for many years of my life sometimes destitute and sometimes with a spouse in my life. Both ways are just as lonely and dark, hopeless, and bleak. All I know is that what it takes to get someone out of depression depends on the individual but it usually means a great deal of patience, putting up with things that you shouldn't take personally such as harsh words and the person pushing you away, and perhaps the individuals alcohol or drug abuse. I hope you leave comments and let me know what you thought of it.

The latest news on the home front is that we went to see Griffin's psychiatrist yesterday and it was quite productive, we made some medication changes but after last night I found out that it wasn't going to work. The doctor took away the Clonidine because I needed to add Tenex in the afternoon for his ADHD because his behaviors were getting out of hand. She said that the drugs were so similar that it wasn't necessary to have them both on board. Well.....I tried just the Tenex in the afternoon and it worked but come bedtime it was just melatonin, Risperdal .5mg, Depakote 500 mg and that was all hence NO SLEEP! He was hyper. I fed him protein and had him lie down in the dark quietly to no avail. So I had no choice but to try one Clonidine....45 minutes later still awake so it was 10:00 and I thought this is ridiculous, I am giving him the other Clonidine and within 15 minutes he was fast asleep.

He went to school today for the first time in awhile, he had told me in confidence that he was scared of going back to school because he was afraid of doing science. He said that his science teacher Mrs. Boggs, who I think takes no interest in him, doesn't understand him and that she won't listen to him. Griffin said that the work was too hard and the math too. These are his regular education classes (inclusion classes with his peers). He obviously does not feel comfortable in there but in the IEP meeting the staff did not mention a thing about Griffin having any problems in his classes and I am not aware because the (bleeping) teachers won't communicate with me on a daily basis and let me know what is going on with him. I don't know if he is sleeping, eating or hungry, acting out or having calm behavior, he doesn't bring home school work so I don't know what kind of work he does in school or even his art work....NO REPORTS.  So they say that they are going to put it on the IEP when we were in the meeting but LOW and BEHOLD .....there was no such written words as: we are going to communicate to mother on a daily basis through e-mail.....on the IEP..!

So now we are going to have to have yet another IEP because that document follows him to his next school next year and I want to know what is going on with him during his day for many reasons not just about his medications and behaviors but for his emotional well being, his educational needs. I need to know if his needs are being met because if the school is not doing it then I have to consider other options.

Today I have to call the doctor and ask her if it is okay to go ahead and give the two Clonidine since those two were the magic bullets. I finally got sleep because he didn't wake up in the middle of the night so I think that I got about 7 hours since I was able to take my medications for sleep. If I don't then I only sleep about 4 hours.

Please leave comments here and/or at Answers.com and let me know how I am doing. Thanks for dropping by and reading for the first time or for following me....you are greatly appreciated!

Griffin Has Been Drawing A Great Deal

 Instead of spending all of his time on the computer, the cell phone browsing the Internet, or watching TV, Griffin has devoted his time to his artistry and animation and I am so very proud of his accomplishments and dedication. He wants to be an animator when he grows up, to make cartoons and animated movies. I believe that is a great aspiration for him. Whether he will have the emotional maturity to manage a job is another thing...that may take a few years down the road but I have high hopes for him. I keep telling him that he can accomplish anything that he wants to because he is perfect, the way that he is meant to be regardless of what anybody says to him.

 I believe that Griffin is gifted and talented with his artistic ability, the only deficits that he has is that he does not understand how the world works and his mother has a hard time helping him with that because she doesn't either. Griffin's mother sees the world through the eyes as a child, naive and easily taken advantage of. In fact, Griffin just told me the other day that he wished that his mother wasn't like a child. What can I do? That hurt! I am his friend yet his mother but he sees straight through me as someone who has autism. He sees that I am emotionally sensitive, often taking things personally because my self esteem is so low. I don't want Griffin to be this way so I am always giving him kudos, building him up with words of praise and encouragement, while at the same time setting boundaries to show him that when you love someone you have to say "NO!" sometimes in order to prove that you care.

 I finished my article for Answers.com but I don't have the link yet. I suppose that you could just go there and look up Lora Aspiotis and find my article on Depression and Its Many Faces. I don't know exactly when it is going to be published. I have an ongoing article about depression at least until I branch out to something else.

 Still having sleep issues, Griffin is getting up in the middle of the night to eat and waking me up to be with him for several hours, then going back to sleep. Then he cannot wake up for the bus or to go to school, he wakes up around 1:00 p.m. then it is pretty much useless to go to school. Sometimes I make him go anyhow. But it is a horrible meltdown if I do because of the messed up schedule. His meds are still messed up, we still do not have them right. I am keeping a chart of his behaviors, meds, sleep patterns, and teacher's messages. I am hoping that with this it will be useful to the doctor when taking into consideration the medications used and which dosage used for each one, also we can figure out what time of the night is best for his bedtime in order to keep him from waking up in the middle of the night. He will soon be on a lower dose of Risperdal then nearly off of it subsequently he will stop eating so much.....thank goodness.

The Intensive In Home team is wonderful and are helping Griffin a great deal as always, they know him well by now. Last time they worked with him for 6 months before they got him to the point of becoming stable....and that is after having to go to the hospital (in patient care). Now Griffin knows that he never wants to ever go back to the hospital so he minds his P's and Q's most all the time and hasn't done any hitting. What's happening now he has absolutely no control over, it's all meds.

Do you recognize these cereal characters? They are from the past, Griffin loves retro-advertising icons. He just loves anything adverting or commercials. Sometimes it is charming and sometimes it is unnerving but I love him for it anyhow......he's my buddy!

Griffin Is In A Deep Slumber And I Am Finding My Way Home

Griffin and I are having intensive in home care along with a new psychiatrist whom I like very much. They are very attentive to Griffin's needs and to mine as well because after all, "If mom ain't happy ain't nobody happy!" Just an ole hillbilly saying that I do not use but I have often heard used when growing up here in the mountains of Western North Carolina.

This is all after an incident of Griffin actually hitting a doctor who subsequently refused him treatment saying that he was too unstable and that if he didn't go to the hospital immediately that he wouldn't treat him until he became stable. Well, Griffin had been waiting 2 hours patiently with little to do, in fact I was proud of him for not having a meltdown sooner but finally after the PA expected him to sit quietly for too long.......he began to pace then he ran across the office building straight towards the doctor who shusshed him and told him "NO!" (Big mistake!) that was his trigger and Griffin made a bee line and hit him right in the arm. I can't say that the doctor deserved it but he certainly should have known better as an autism expert not to trigger a child with autism who is having a meltdown and make things worse. Then he had no compassion for him and refused treatment when if he truly cared he would have seen that it is children like Griffin who are the ones who need the most help right away. I was so frustrated, we just left and I called the intensive in home team for support.

Now Griffin is stable as far as his behavior goes but we just cannot seem to create a balance between his waking time....which is very short and his sleeping time which is taking over his life. We are weaning him off the Risperdal (thank goodness) his appetite is finally normal again. He is on Geodon now which is for his psychosis and to help him get to sleep which is a big problem, he is on melatonin as well but the problem is he cannot GET to sleep at night then he wakes in the morning eats, stays up awhile then goes back to sleep until about 1:00 p.m. or even later and there is no waking him.

It is truly a conundrum! I am in a fog about it and frankly I believe that everyone is as well. I have insomnia really bad and have to take medication for it or I will stay up for days and my dad has it too. I know that in Aspies it is pretty common to have insomnia or rather should I say in auties too (autism individuals).

[THIS IS ONE OF GRIFFIN'S MASTERPIECES THAT HE DREW ON THE COMPUTER FOR HIS BLOG "THE CHARACTER BLOG" . IT IS ELMO AND TINKY WINKY.]

I wanted to add that I am starting a new Facebook page that just has Aspies and Auties on it and things connected to it such as support groups, links, and pages etc...in order to reduce the anxiety in my life and to find the support and help that I need and desire from those who care about my sensitivities, those who understand that I have feelings too and who treat me with respect as an adult who is a responsible single mom of an autistic child giving me credit for that as well. I have already found that in these people, they listen to me instead of me being the one to always be the one who listens. I find great comfort in someone showing interest in what interests me, perhaps something that we may have in common or even if she just takes a moment to be genuine and honest. This is what I appreciate in Aspies, honesty and being straightforward. I am starting a new life and endeavor to embark on new beginnings, a new journey.....and it is exasperating!

Griffin's Recent Appointment With His New Doctor & "Avonte's Law" Tracking Devices For Autistic Children

Griffin's Doctor's Appointment Went Well, January 27,2014, With Dr. Vincent.


Yesterday, Griffin, his Intensive In Home worker, and I attended a polycom conference with Dr.Vincent who I now admire and think that she is the bee's knees! She was so good with Griffin, so patient and understanding that he was becoming impatient, and she praised him for it as she tried her best to make the appointment as quick as possible......yet very thorough. She went over his history, asking all the vital questions and answering all of my questions satisfactorily in a timely manner. Griffin's worker only spoke up when he felt that perhaps the information he had was pertinent and germane to the topic at hand.


In my hurried exit out of the apartment with Griffin and Abby (the service dog), I had forgotten the questions I wanted to ask but between us we decided that he would start with a new anti-psychotic/mood stabilizer: Geodon, which I have taken before. In order to titrate off of the Risperdal which in my opinion is one hell of an EVIL medication causing nothing but problems! It raised his triglycerides, his weight (he was becoming obese) due to the fact that it made his appetite so ravenous that I couldn't keep him satisfied with food day/night, and it caused him to have to start taking Metformin for his blood sugar because he was becoming pre-diabetic and that is without eating sugar (she even said that he had Gynacamastia "male breasts" from taking it so long) .
So, hopefully the Geodon will mellow him out, stop the hallucinations, and balance his appetite again so that he can remain at a healthy weight. Then when he does begin exercising on a regular basis, it won't be so difficult for him and unpleasant.


Griffin had perfect patience, I was so proud of him....he didn't even get upset after we got out of the building which is what he usually does. He has his moments of triumph when he deserves a great deal of praise for his behavior and I told him that if he continues to have good behavior then I will pick him up on Friday from school and that we could go to the lake. After all it will be his 12th birthday!!! He wants to go to Fun Depot Saturday. I think that it would be a blast for us to go play together, besides we are best buds and we are super close to one another regardless of the spontaneous outbursts of bad behavior. It is all part of having autism, the brain is simply wired differently and oftentimes we get sensory overload and frustration takes over and self control goes out the window. But fortunately, it is quick and over in a matter of minutes if one knows how to cope when it rears its ugly head.


We have got to teach Griffin the skills now on how to cope with his anger/frustration with objects and people so that once he is in middle school and out in the general public then he will be able to socialize (only if he wants to) and focus on the task at hand while tuning out all the other sensory input that is distracting him. This is the concept that is so difficult for neuro-typicals NT's to understand is that our senses are working overtime 24/7 every single day of the year. It is like a fight or flight sensation that is constantly running through our bodies rushing adrenaline through our veins as though we are under attack. And our senses are under attack from either: too strong an odor that is making us sick, to a tactile sensation on our skin or other surfaces of our bodies that either is hyper-sensitive or is under sensitive to pain, food flavors, or clothing on our bodies, there is sensations of sound that when we hear certain pitches of noise it literally hurts our ears and causes sheer confusion and frustration from wanting to get away from it so badly. The visual sensations of light that hurt our eyes such as fluorescent or even natural light from the sun can cause a meltdown just because the light is so bright that it feels as though it is attacking our eyes so we always go into defensive mode and act out in some manner. Whether it be mood swings, which makes it common for misdiagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, and meltdowns, anger, rage, that is out of control. And this is why I was misdiagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder years ago, because nobody knew what to look for in an autism individual as a psychiatric patient. Those types of doctors typically do not study autism and are not able to diagnose it. One has to go to a specialist who has experience with autism.


That is until we learn the skills to assimilate into society and conform by imitating what we see or are taught to do to fit in. This is what Griffin is being taught at school however, I allow him to be himself while he is at home (within certain parameters) and out in public as long as he is cordial, uses his manners, and keeps an inside voice. My philosophy is that he didn't come into this world asking to be autistic with special needs so why should he have to conform and make himself full of anxiety all the time around other people just to suit their needs and desires? If people can't accept that he has autism then they can go jump off of a cliff with their judgment attitudes. Nobody is perfect, Nobody is "Normal" it is just a setting on the dryer......and nobody has the right to judge my son for who he is whether they realize he has autism or not.


Furthermore, my entire life I have known that I was different, that I didn't fit in and that my parents were taking me to psychologist/psychiatrists to talk for some special reason, after all my siblings weren't going. I knew that I wouldn't talk to anyone or look them in the eye because I was always being told to "speak up" and my chin was always being lifted by an adult's hand in order to try to make me look them in the eyes. But it was unnatural for me and extremely uncomfortable therefore their efforts were all in vain. I recall that my sense of smell was so strong that even the slightest "bad" odor would make me vomit, have migraine headaches and a few times I have passed out from being so dizzy. I have always been allergic to the sun even though I tried to fit in by attempting to get a tan by lying out in it and getting horrible sunburns, my blue eyes are exceptionally sensitive to the sun and to indoor lighting as well. Certain people's voices set me off especially if they are soprano, high pitched, and if they can't sing it irritates me to no end I could just scream! I am attracted to extra strong flavors in my food and if (when I had the money way back when) I had money I would be a food snob because I know what excellent food is and have the pallet for it.


These are but a few of the indications of autism through the sensory issues of the brain. The autistic mind is simply wired differently as is the entire nervous system therefore it understands the world in a whole different way. I have lived a lie my entire life trying to fit in as a good looking thin woman who attracted good looking men and always got the husband she wanted but now I am being true to myself and "coming out" as the autistic individual that I am. I have found only a small bit of support for my good news....and yes it is "good news" because I finally have answers to why I have been so unique and peculiar my whole life! I am reveling in it and seeking out support with other Aspies and Auties (Aspergerians and autistics) because I know that they will understand me. I have already found some people on YouTube who have given me insight and encouragement. The rest of the NT world will just have to learn to cope with me and Griffin being different because we are proud to be autistic!!!!!!!




Following is the definition of autism its signs & symptoms, and treatments.


Written by the Healthline Editorial Team | Medically Reviewed by Jennifer Monti, MD, MPH
Published on August 9, 2012

                                                                    

Autism is one of a group of neurodevelopmental disorders known as pervasive developmental disorders, which are characterized by impaired communication, impaired social interaction, and restricted, repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behaviors or interests. Autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) are used to describe three of the five pervasive developmental disorders, including autistic disorder, Asperger disorder, and a third category that includes pervasive developmental disorders that do not fit into the classic descriptions of developmental disorders.

Signs & Symptoms

Signs of these disorders usually become apparent in children by the time they are 3 years old. Autistic symptoms include a significant delay in language and cognitive development, while there is no significant language or cognitive development delay in Asperger syndrome. Because there are not significant language impairments in Asperger when compared to autism, Asperger syndrome may be referred to as "high functioning autism."
Symptoms can range from mild to severe. Some people may be considered autistic but function in society without issues, while for others, the condition can have a substantial impact on their lives and on the lives of those close to them.

Diagnosis

Autism spectrum disorders are found across the world, seemingly regardless of race or cultural and economic background. ASD occurs more often in boys than in girls, with a 4:1 male:female ratio.
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) state that the numbers affected by autism are estimated to be around one out of every 110 children in the United States. However, various epidemiological studies have found varying rates of the condition, ranging from between one out of 80 children to one out of 240 children.
There are indications that instances of ASD are on the rise, but experts debate whether it is an actual increase or rather a case of more frequent diagnosis.

Types of Autism Spectrum Disorders

As its name infers, ASD refers to a range of symptoms.
ASDs were first defined as disorders in the 1940s by two different researchers working independently of each other. Dr. Leo Kanner studied what would come to be defined as severe or classic autism. At the same time, Dr. Hans Asperger defined the condition that now bears his name.
Classic autism usually entails substantial problems in all of the areas affected by ASDS, while someone with Asperger usually has issues with behavior and social interaction but often does not have problems with developing language. The symptoms experienced by people with Asperger are often also less severe.
There is debate as to whether Asperger Syndrome is a variation of classic autism (high-functioning autism) rather than a separate disorder.
PDD-NOS is a classification given when someone is exhibiting signs of autism but does not otherwise fit into the categories of classic autism or Asperger Syndrome.

Causes, Treatments & Outlook

The exact cause of autism and other autistic spectrum disorders is unknown. The most current science demonstrates that there is not a single cause for autism but that the disease is multi-factorial with a strong genetic component.
There is no cure for ASDs. The most effective treatments involve the use of early intensive behavioral interventions to improve the function of the child. It is generally agreed that the earlier a child is enrolled in these programs, the better their outlook.

After the tragic and untimely death of an autistic 14 year old teen drown in New York City in the East river, Senator Charles Shumer is taking action to help all autistic children get tracking devices in order to diminish the number of children wandering/eloping/bolting off out of sight from their provider or parent.  

Oftentimes, the autistic child who is exceptionally curious about the world around him, will wander off away from safety without a thought of getting lost and not being able to get back to his parent/care provider. Just as Griffin will wander off no matter where we are, whether it be in the grocery store, parking lot, outside our home, or in the park or public facility. And all I am left to do is to cry out to him loudly in hopes that he is within earshot and that he will call back.

 

It is such a helpless feeling not being able to locate an autistic child for one very good reason: they love water! They are attracted to it and if there is any pond, lake, or river to be found then they are going to find it and it usually ends up tragically.....more so than what turns up in the national news.

  Lora

• Nearly half of all autistic children in the USA: 48% attempt elopement, which is 4 times higher than their unaffected siblings.
•  In 2008, Danish researchers found that amongst the autistic population the mortality rate was at least twice as high as it was than with the general population.In 2009, 2010, and 2011, accidental drowning accounted for 91% total U.S. deaths reported in children with an ASD ages 14 and younger subsequent to wandering/elopement.
• More than one third of ASD children who wander/elope are never or rarely able to communicate their name, address, or phone number
• Two in three parents of elopers reported their missing children had a “close call” with a traffic injury
• 32% of parents reported a “close call” with a possible drowning
• Wandering was ranked among the most stressful ASD behaviors by 58% of parents of elopers
• 62% of families of children who elope were prevented from attending/enjoying activities outside the home due to fear of wandering
• 40% of parents had suffered sleep disruption due to fear of elopement
• Children with ASD are eight times more likely to elope between the ages of 7 and 10 than their typically-developing siblings
• Half of families with elopers report they had never received advice or guidance about elopement from a professional
• Only 19% had received such support from a psychologist or mental health professional
• Only 14% had received guidance from their pediatrician or another physician

Source: Interactive Autism Network Research Report: Elopement and Wandering (2011)

Source: National Autism Association, Lethal Outcomes in ASD Wandering (2012)

 

Shumer proposes tracking device for children with autism. Go to this link for further details on the article.
http://www.wbng.com/news/local/Schumer-proposes-tracking-devices-for-autistic-children--242287571.html


Here is the website for a GPS tracking bracelet especially for autistic children..


http://www.locationbasedgps.com/triloc-personal-locator-gps-watch/