If you look closely you can see the snow on the mountain tops and it is just a matter of time before it gets down here. We have had so much rain and gloom that it has kicked in my depression early this year. On top of that, it is getting really dark earlier and earlier. I wake up and it's dark and that is depressing! My ANP (Advanced Nurse Practioner) told me that I am not a candidate for anti-depressants because of all the undesirable reactions/side effects that I have had in the past. So this year I am winging it and I am on my own with my depression. She recommended that I get a S.A.D. light but the darn things are just too expensive, I simply cannot afford one right now. So, wish me luck and cross your fingers for me that I don't end up in the Crisis Treatment Center like I did last year. I just can't wait to move gosh darnit! I sure do wish that I would hear something from Social Security soon. It is way past the deadline for a hearing but who knows, they do things in their own time not when ya want it or need it to happen. For those of you who may not have read my previous posts, I applied for SSDI and am awaiting a hearing and we're fast approaching the 2 year mark. I just want to be near my family and to feel happy again and I am NOT looking forward to seeing the snow. It rained all frickin' summer and now it is already in the low to mid 40's and will be freezing very soon. If it seems like I am complaining then you would have guessed it correctly because I feel like hell and I desperately want to feel good again. I wish you all a great day and hopefully the sun is shining where you are. Sorry for the gloomy mood I wish that I could just switch it off :(
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Depression Had Kicked IN
If you look closely you can see the snow on the mountain tops and it is just a matter of time before it gets down here. We have had so much rain and gloom that it has kicked in my depression early this year. On top of that, it is getting really dark earlier and earlier. I wake up and it's dark and that is depressing! My ANP (Advanced Nurse Practioner) told me that I am not a candidate for anti-depressants because of all the undesirable reactions/side effects that I have had in the past. So this year I am winging it and I am on my own with my depression. She recommended that I get a S.A.D. light but the darn things are just too expensive, I simply cannot afford one right now. So, wish me luck and cross your fingers for me that I don't end up in the Crisis Treatment Center like I did last year. I just can't wait to move gosh darnit! I sure do wish that I would hear something from Social Security soon. It is way past the deadline for a hearing but who knows, they do things in their own time not when ya want it or need it to happen. For those of you who may not have read my previous posts, I applied for SSDI and am awaiting a hearing and we're fast approaching the 2 year mark. I just want to be near my family and to feel happy again and I am NOT looking forward to seeing the snow. It rained all frickin' summer and now it is already in the low to mid 40's and will be freezing very soon. If it seems like I am complaining then you would have guessed it correctly because I feel like hell and I desperately want to feel good again. I wish you all a great day and hopefully the sun is shining where you are. Sorry for the gloomy mood I wish that I could just switch it off :(
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9 comments:
Hang in there Lora! Alaska looks so beautiful, but the dark and the cold every day must overshadow the beauty.
Here in Ohio the days are getting shorter too, and my 2-year-old gets confused: "is it night night time? Is it daytime now?" It is just as dark when I tell him to wake up as it was when I told him to go to sleep!
I can't believe you have to wait sooo long to hear from Social Security! But I know these agencies take a long time. We filed for child support from Kate's mom and it took close to 2 years before anything went into effect.
All your internet friends are sending some sunshine your way!
-Gretchen
Hi Lora,
Sending extra special hugs to you:) I wish I were closer to you guys. The snow on the mountain tops is absolutely gorgeous.
The rain and the darkness would really get to me though. Please know that the everyone in the Autism Blogging Circle cares about you guys and we will send special thoughts your way:)
(((Hugs my dear friends)))
Tina and Boys
Another Ohioan hoping for better days for you!.........When will you be moving to SC? That should help in the sunshine and warmth area.
~!@~!$@!#$ winter!!!!! I hate that you feel like this and winter is ahead. If there are any close condolances, there are rumors of flurries in our extended forcast here in Minneapolis. I wish I could snap my fingers and make you feel better, but what I can tell you is that we are all here for you. Keep faith, keep focussed, and take care of you!!!!
I have long thought that the winters are just too darn long! We should have 5 months of spring, 3 months of summer and 3 months of fall, and 4 weeks of winter that would be perfect for me ;).
2 yrs is a long time to wait for SSDI isn't it? they need to get their butts in gear!
I hope you are able to move soon - It must be hard to be away from family and have depression bearing down on you! (((((hugs)))))
You do have your 'cyber family' around!
jenn
Hi I have just signed your guestbook - we have a lot in common. I have a son called Griffin (21 months) and another son Asa (5) with HFA and hyperlexia. I am in the UK.
Keep up the good work in raising awareness!!!
Hey Lady!
You KNOW you have our hugs and warm sunshiney thoughts. I heard tell of snow in Chicago on Thursday.
I wish I could get you a SAD light as an early Christmas present, but instead, perhaps I'll send you daily sunshine.
Huge applause to you for taking the depression on w/o medication. You're a strong lady with TONS of support out here for you. You just drop me a line whenever Griffin's sunshine needs a little more brightness to give to Mommy!
Oh Lora, I wish I had some words of advise but I simply do not. Depression runs in my family and I believe I'm the only person NOT taking anti-depression drugs. I frequently think I need them but my husband says, "No Way!"
They say laughter is great medicine so I suggest you rent some funny movies or read some funny books. Maybe you and Griffin could make some art projects focusing on happy, sunny scenes - boats, the sun, flowers, rainbows. Sounds corny but maybe it will take your mind off of the rain and darkness.
Hang in there. Just like the previous poster said, your cyber family is here for ya!
I'm feeling blue too. I'm overwhelmed a lot of the time and it's hard to shake.
Email me, I want to send you a link to something that might interest you. It may aid you in acquiring the expensive equipment you need.
Take care of that little sweetie!
SuperMom in NY!
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