First Day of School

Griffin's new teacher wrote a note saying that he had a great day and she also called and left a message bragging about what a wonderful day he had. Needless to say I am thrilled and excited that perhaps this is going to be the right place for him to succeed.

I have spoken to everyone at the school who will have contact with him for therapy and special needs resource and they all seem to be happy that I am so pro-active and totally interested in what/how he does. I am just going to wait about 2 weeks to let things settle down and give them a chance to see how Griffin is doing then we can share information based on observations.

Every morning so far he has been up, eating, and ready to stand outside to wait for the bus, so that is a great sign. I was very productive yesterday, got the apartment totally cleaned and three loads of laundry done. Was still left with time on my hands and missing my little buddy, don't know what I will do today. I have started working on the book again, doing some writing so I will probably do that for the better part of the day. Can't wait until my classes start again so that I can put my brain to work again...nothing beats a good mental/intellectual challenge to fill the day.

I am Still a Straight A student!

I just made another A in my English Composition class therefore I now have 5 straight A's. I am so thrilled that I just had to share the news with everyone.

Next I will be taking English 101 Proficiency in Writing and History before 1650 and I am so excited. I just love learning and having the intellectual stimulation with lots of challenges.

Later I will be taking Ancient Greece, Forestry w/lab, and I want to add one more to make sure that I stay busy while Griffin is in school and to get that much closer to my degree.

Horseback Riding

Griffin had his evaluation yesterday at the therapeutic horseback riding farm. He laughed so hard he couldn't stop. You can see in this video how happy he is. They said that he did so well that after one more lesson he will be able to guide the horse himself without the front leader holding the reins. I am so very proud of him! He rode Tonnka, a wonderfully gentle horse who responded very well to Griffin's guidance. I am so excited to see him do it again and again, the next lesson is on the 28th.

North Carolina is SO Cool!!!!

Yes, it is so cool...in more ways than one. The weather is so much cooler than in SC, I hardly have to run the A/C ever. Most of the time the windows are open and there is lots of shade so that when the breeze blows it is nice and cool.

Griffin seems to be well adjusted in his new surroundings and he knows that school will be starting soon so I hope that it means that he will be prepared for that transition. He will be riding the special needs bus with one of the little boys that he often talks to here who is a neighbor. I have signed him up for hippotherapy (special needs horseback riding) and I am soooo thrilled for him, I believe that he is going to love it.

Griffin and I met his new pediatrician and she is awesome! She is referring him to a developmental doctor at the clinic for developmental disabilities where they can help us get OT and Speech. That is so excellent because he didn't have that in SC but he did have it in Alaska.

I am still a straight A student! I just made an A in my History of the American Indian class...I am so happy. I can't wait until I get my grade from my English Composition class, so far I have an A but there are a few assignments that she hasn't graded yet.

It is so nice to be near my friends. They came over two weekends ago with lots of linens, a bed for Griffin, and they decorated the apt. for us. They even rearranged the kitchen so that I had more space. My bedroom looks like a fancy five star hotel room, one that would include a bottle of champagne and a Godiva chocolate on the pillow. Now that's a first for me. I have hardly ever decorated my abode, especially not so much that everything matches, so it is really cool.

Everything is wonderful and I have nothing to complain about...Life is GOOD! I will take some pics of the gorgeous mountains and post them soon.

It's Official....We Have a New Place to Live!

I always love to see my precious angel sleeping and periodically take pics of him as he grows older. Not that he is not precious when he is awake but there is pure innocence when he is sleeping.

We finally got our new apartment in NC and it is nice...with 2 bedrooms! We have been just getting by with Griffin sleeping either on the couch or on the bed and then I would just sleep on the opposite. So this will be very nice, for us both to have our own space. The apt. manager lives above us so it should be very quiet there. She also has an autistic son who is about 17 years, I think.

Well, I won't have the Internet for a week or two while moving, can't afford the cost of the deposit. But as soon as I get it, I will post and let ya know how things are going for us. Got to find out which school Griffin will be going to and get him registered and schedule and IEP.

It will be so nice to be near my friends and sister, brother, and their families. A totally different atmosphere in NC than in SC that's for sure!

We are Moving North

I am so excited in so many good ways but a bit stressed out as well. The time draws near and we still have not found the right place to live yet. We have traveled to NC to look at apartments but we've got to get Griffin registered for school next week and run around two different cities to find the right place that will be most appropriate for him. All I can say is that I know for sure that the schools are WAAAAAY better there than down here! NC spends way more money on education, there are more qualified teachers who are knowledgable about autism and the TEACCH program as well. I just know that he is going to thrive there and I will have more support there also. My sister and brother live there and several of my friends whom I have known for many many years and are always supportive and understanding.

It will be nice to get out of the heat and humidity. I will miss mom, the sweet little old ladies that are here at the apartment, and my dear friends E.,C.,H., but all in all it will be best. We will visit mom so that she and Griffin can have some quality time together because he loves her so very much...of course, she is his NaNa. Besides, NC is a great place to visit, it is cooler, and far more beautiful so I am hoping that my friend E. and her family will come to visit us sometimes. Mom has obligations so she won't be coming up very often.

School is going great, I am ahead on my work but have two research essays due about the same time...that's a bit stressful but I can do it. One is in Chicago style which I have never used but I think(hope) that I get the hang of it. One is about Spiritual Agnosticism and the other is about The Trail of Tears which is heart-wrenching.

Speaking of heart-wrenching and the American Indian, after the knowledge that I have gained about them I will no longer celebrate the 4th of July because in 1776 things were fine and dandy for all the white folks but the American Indians were still being forced out of their homes, away from their homelands, the children were taken from their homes to be "Americanized" not to mention all the disease and slaughtering of men, women, and children that was going on. As far as I am concerned there is nothing worth celebrating when our forefathers were committing such horrible attocities. I could go on but I think that you probably have an idea of what I am talking about.

It's Time to Vent....Finally!

For those of you who know me, know that I am not one to complain about my health and all that I tolerate from day to day. I keep it all to myself because I see no point in sharing it with anyone...what good would it do?

Well, it is time for me to vent and enlighten those of you who might even remotely care. For the past month and a half I have had anxiety that is as though it is eating me from the inside out and is totally relentless regardless of medication or stupid and useless relaxation techniques. I am constantly on the edge and everything irritates me to no end but I dare not show it or say a word. Griffin bounces off the walls having a blast and I cannot enjoy these times with him because I feel like shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My insomnia has been horrible and even with medication once again I have it regardless. I awake at least twice a night if not three times. Usually I awake with the same anxiety that I had when I went to sleep. So my days are not only full of anxiety but I am exhausted at the same time.....every single day! My doctor has tried every medication possible and none have worked so he just gave up. And maybe you are thinking that I should try the natural route but NO NO NO, I have tried those and it is a big waste of money and it is money that I cannot afford to throw away.

I cannot read and relax because Griffin has the TV going and usually the computer too and my mind cannot focus enough for the words to make sense. So, what am I left to do? I cannot have a social life thanks to my father who won't allow my mother to watch Griffin so that I can have a break and have a life of my own. So here I am stuck and I hate to use that word but that is how I feel. What am I to do? Go out and find a perfect stranger to care for my child while I TRY to have fun on a date? I think not.

So, this is my perdicament and whether you hear it from me or not doesn't mean that I am not going through it. Don't know how this is supposed to help me feel better but I just felt that I need to vent and that perhaps it would be cathartic for me.

Time to Celebrate!!!!

This morning I was hastily making all the phone calls that we couldn't make over the weekend about Abby. Alas, I had just called the veterinarian to make sure the contact info was correct and not even 10 minutes later she called me back to tell me that somebody has our baby!!!!!

Apparently Abby got inside of a pasture that had chicken wire, got in it but couldn't get out. So, this woman who just so happens to be a dog groomer and had the pasture adjacent to her home, saw Abby and it took her an hour but she lured Abby with her dog and Abby came right up to them. I am so very grateful that this woman did the right thing by calling the vet and reporting that she found this dog.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us and sent out positive energy into the universe. We are so thrilled to be a family once again.

We Miss Our Abby Girl and Feel Lost Without Her

It breaks my heart to even write this because to face the fact that we may never see Abby again is heart-wrenching. Yesterday, Griffin and I went to N.C. to visit our friends there and go to a baby shower. Well, we left Abby at our friend's house in the back yard while at the baby shower, thinking that she could not get out of the fence but little did we know that she could get out of the gate area with a lot of determination. And I feel horrible because she must have felt abandoned and thinking that we were not coming back for her so she took off looking for us. For hours there were 4 women and Griffin looking and calling everywhere but most places were closed because it was the weekend.

My stomach was doing flips and tied up in knots especially when Griffin kept asking where Abby was, it was all I could do to not cry. I am not giving up hope that we will find her safe and sound and either she is going to come back to the house in NC or she will make a long trip to our apartment in SC. Maybe someone has got her and has a heart big enough to let us know that they have her. I think that since she is a German Shepherd that most people will avoid her thinking that she will bite which is a good thing and a bad thing.

Please, dear friends, keep us in your prayers that Abby is safe and sound and that we will get her back. She is one of our family members and not just a "pet", she has served Griffin well as a service dog for 4 years and I am wishing that we will have her back for many more years. Life just isn't the same without her around because we miss her so very much. She has been loved so much and really bonded with us so I've just got to not give up on her and know that she loves us and will come back to us again soon.

Words of Wisdom

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
is up to you and no one else

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

---

Back in School and Our Trip to N.C.

I found out that if I didn't put Griffin back in school that he would have to take 1st grade all over again, it is only for a few days anyhow. He seems to be doing much better on the Abilify increase to 7.5 mg. I got a great report about his behavior in class the past few days especially during Field Day, he apparently participated in all the events which is amazing for him since he doesn't like gross motor activities. So in spite of the schedule being completely different, he is doing very well. We had an IEP on Thursday but I was secretly told not to expect the principal to carry through with all that she had promised for next year. But, I have it all on tape so she will not have any choice but to follow through.

I found out some really good news while in the IEP; Griffin scored 70% on the DIBELS (reading fluency test) when he started in January, the average score for the typical 1st grader is 40%, and he ended with a whopping 96%!!!! His teacher said that he can read faster than that but since he read aloud they had to understand him so that slowed him down a bit. I am so proud of him! We are still working on comprehension of the abstract as it is difficult for probably all autistic kiddos.

Griffin and I went to N.C. Sunday and Monday last week and it was a blast. Griffin had two TVs both with Direct TV/VCR/DVD so he was in heaven. I got to visit with my dear friends all day and night, the picture above shows not only the beautiful flowers that were freshly picked from the yard but also the gorgeous mountains in the background. We sat outside under the umbrella as it rained and when the sun shined so it was a wonderful experience.

Griffin played in the rain for the first time in his life, he had never wanted to do it before. He danced around and laughed so hard. My friend got some great pictures of him but when I tried to post them they came out really small......bummer. Maybe I can figure out how to make them larger. I had just as much fun watching him as I think that he had playing.

Out of School and Taking Medications

I have made the decision to keep Griffin out of school and do my best to get to North Carolina this summer so that he can attend school there in the fall. There is a reason why Griffin is not doing well in school but does fine when out of school. I spoke to the doctor yesterday and we decided to increase the Abilify by 2.5mg and so far it seems to be helping a lot. He had one meltdown when we were out buying at TV because he broke his so, I think that he didn't want a new TV; he just wanted his old one to work. But it didn't last long and he pretty much calmed himself down. Since being home he has done nothing other than use the computer and make crafts all day, being completely calm and focused.

His teacher, his shadow, his speech therapist and I are going to have an IEP meeting next week and I am going to request that he have a shadow when beginning the second grade. I just don't think that he is ready to go it alone in what might just be an overcrowded classroom with one teacher. I hope that by then we will have his meds all straightened out and that behaviors will be under control and actually I am hoping that he is either in a private school here or in North Carolina public school system by the beginning of school. There are 8 autism classrooms in the area where I wish for him to go in NC which translates to the fact that they are better trained and also have a great resource in the autism teacher if there were to be any issues in the mainstream classrooms.

I spoke to my dear friend in Alaska who was Griffin's very first therapist to work with him at age 15 months until the age of three and she has faithfully kept up with what goes on with him; she thinks that it is best for him to not be in the classroom because there are probably a lot of changes going on that is bothering him. She was a teacher for many years and told me that this time of year things are more lax, there are things be changed all around. This is true because Griffin was scheduled to not see his speech therapist and math teacher anymore. Even when the changes are small it still effects him.

That is one very legitimate reason why he could be misbehaving so badly. His doctor told me that the Focalin XR would show a difference immediately and that it is not like other meds that need to reach a therapeutic level. So since that didn't work then maybe the Abilify will. I like what Melissa H. said about the thoughts of taking a child off of a drug that helps them cope with their behaviors; she likened it to taking insulin away from a diabetic child. And it reminds me of when people tell me that there is nothing going on with me when I in fact have Bipolar Disorder and could not live without my drugs, yet they dispute that I need anything at all. Griffin is no different, he needs those meds to help him get through the day without hurting himself or somebody else. Without his meds he is angry, totally disorganized mentally/emotionally, and has absolutely no control of himself.

It is a shame when people do not realize how mental illness and instability completely wrecks any quality of life that one might otherwise have. I fought for years to not give Griffin meds for insomnia and it was pure hell for both of us for a long time. We were both a big mess, I had no patience, I was unstable and neither of us had much fun at all during those long months. That was just plain ole stupid! Neither of us need to go without sleep for very good reasons and we both need to be stable so that we can thrive and make progress in our everyday life.

I have to have faith in the medications because the alternative is absurd and I trust his doctors, the ones that he had in Anchorage and the ones here. The way I see it is that if a child of a young age can have chemo and live through it then taking low doses of medication is not going to harm them in the long run. The body is an amazing machine that can take a lot more than some people think that it can. I am a good mother and I feel that I am doing the best for my child concerning meds and the school situation.

We will get through it no matter what, one way or the other.

Griffin is Still Having a Hard Time at School

Melissa H. maybe you might have some ideas of what might be the issue here. Griffin is just flat out being obstinate at school and totally refuses to do anything that is required of him. They have tried all kinds of different approaches and nothing has worked. He has even started to ignore his PE coach whom he claims to like and his teacher he ignores even though he likes her too.

He is fine at home except when he has to take a shower/bath and most times he loses it but will ultimately end up giving in and going through with it. I guess that perhaps he is okay at home because it is his down time and there is not that much required of him except for homework. As far as that goes he does it willingly but usually has to be reminded constantly to stay on task.

My dear friend of mine thinks that maybe because he doesn't like his shadow that it could be stemming from that and just branching out to others. I am just so glad that there are only a few days left of school but what about next year? How do I get things straightened out before then? How can I prepare him for second grade where he will have no shadow to help him cope?

Today was the first day of the increase in the Focalin XR up from 10mg to 15mg so I guess that we shall see as it gets to be at a therapeutic level. I feel so bad for him because I just think that he is feeling weird/miserable and that is part of the problem, he just loses control of his emotions. Goodness knows that I have been through that with my Bipolar ups and downs with meds that weren't right for me and needed to be adjusted.

Melissa, do you think that these symptoms could be from the Bipolar and that maybe we need to adjust his Abilify? Tina, what do you think about it? Do you think that any of this could be something other than a medicine issue?

I need some advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Figured it Out and it was So Simple!

I fixed the Blogroll, it was so simple and easy, all I had to do is to start a new one and go in there and put in 200 for the amount that could be displayed all at once. Silly me!

How do I Fix Blogrolling List????

The new site counter that I got wouldn't start at the amount that the old was at: 29,349. It only let me start at 50. so now I no longer have a clue as to how many hits I have had on my blog......unless I do the math each time of course. Oh well, it doesn't really matter that much, it was just kinda cool to know. Oh, and I am working on getting my blogroll back to the very long list that it used to be as a wealth of information on autism and my favorite blogs of all of my friends. When I updated my blog it totally got rid of a bunch of stuff, so I am starting from scratch. What I need to know is how to make the Blogrolling List work, it is not showing all the blogs and web sites that I have listed on the Blogrolling Web Site. Does anyone know how to do that????

School will be over in about 2 weeks and I will be so glad, I love to have Griffin home with me just like we used to have when we home schooled, he is so delightful........well, most of the time. Tonight he totally lost it when I told him that it was time for bath or shower so after an exhausting 20 minutes I told him that it was time to go to bed early and he was actually happy with that. Tomorrow, I told him, he is taking a shower/bath as soon as he comes home from school, no more nonsense!

If any of you have a comment to make on whether I should medicate Griffin over the summer, I would like to know. In one way it helps him to have a better quality of life with few to no meltdowns but on the other hand they are drugs and what are they doing to his liver and kidneys? I take several meds which I never ever miss and I can only imagine what my body thinks about it, in the long run. I have to have them and not having them is not an option. But for Griffin, I just don't know what to do. Please help me out!

Redhead....What do ya Think?

On a whim I colored my hair red because I used to be a redhead and had a lot of fun with it. I like how it makes my blue eyes stand out and all the great colors that I can wear to compliment it. Besides, I couldn't afford to go to the hairdresser and get my blonde hair highlighted so this was a very cheap alternative.

Griffin has been out of school for a couple of days due to the fact that he couldn't hold food down in the evenings when he came home. The problem was that the Focalin XR quelled his appetite and he hardly ate a thing for breakfast and lunch so by the time he got his appetite back in the evening, his stomach wasn't used to having food and subsequently rejected it.....all of it. So I took him off the medicine and slowly got him used to food again, although he vomited several times in the interim he finally has held down some yogurt and is back on track. I gave him half his usual dose of the Focalin XR this afternoon because we went to pick up his homework from the school and I wanted him to be able to focus in order to finish it all.

He spent a good part of the day at his NaNa's and PaPa's yesterday and at one point he laid down and asked her to lie down with him and he rested for awhile. The poor guy must have been exhausted from vomiting and diahrrea and not getting any nutrition for almost three days. Now he is in a great mood doing his homework and later I will try him on a bit of bland food to see if he can hold it down. I think that tomorrow I will try him on half a dose and see if he has an appetite or not. When they have lunch I will make his favorite food and take it to him to be sure that he eats something.

Oh No.....Meltdowns Again?

On Tuesday Griffin had a really hard time at school, so much so that his shadow called me and when he got home it wasn't any better and it has gotten worse with each passing day. He just loses control of his emotions and lashes out at whatever inanimate object is near. Yesterday afternoon he hit his TV and he flew to the floor, thank goodness it didn't break it. I just don't know what to do to help him especially while he is in the midst of a meltdown. Mostly because I don't usually know what triggers them.

I went to see his doctor today and we decided to take him off the Focalin XR for the weekend and see what kind of results that yields, I don't know for sure but I think it's going to be a rough couple of days. The thing about it is that no matter what we are doing or where we are he still has them even if it's something going on that he likes.

Several hours after writing the first two paragraphs, when I went to pick up Griffin his shadow and teacher told me that he did great today and that they think that maybe the meltdowns were caused by him having congestion that he no longer has today. So far, since he has been home for about an hour now, everything is okay and I haven't given him a second dose of the Focalin XR.

We'll play it by ear and see what happens over the weekend, maybe it was from him feeling a bit under the weather........who knows?

Griffin and His Dance Performance

I took a short video of Griffin at his dance performance at school but apparently it is too large a file 12.7 MB and on here I can only upload 11MB...Bummer! Anyhow, he did a great job, he didn't miss a move/step and kept up with the music and other children perfectly. They did two dances, his shadow was beside him on the first one but he danced with a classmate on the second one. My mom went with us and we first went to his classroom to see all of his excellent writing and artwork, his shadow had showed me the difference from before the new medicine and after and it was so incredible and creative afterwards. She said that he came up with the sentences all on his own, he even wrote a story or two all by himself. I am so very proud of him and all of his accomplishments.

The photo is of Griffin at bedtime with his Doodle Pro and his VHS tape, he has been drawing and writing like crazy and he has perfected a lot of what he does because he will write/draw them over and over until he is satisfied with the outcome. He seems to find it very relaxing because he does it throughout the day and into the night and he is always so mellow when he is using the Doodle Pro.

He had a major meltdown today, his shadow called me and asked if he had had his meds in the morning and he had. So I called his doctor and he said that we just don't know enough about autism to figure out what causes meltdowns sometimes but for sure it wasn't the new medicine causing it. If he does it again and it is so severe then we might consider increasing the Abilify for severe mood swings. He has been taking it for a year so it might be time for a change or it could have just been a sensory overload.

Griffin is lying down about to go to sleep so I am going to go tell him goodnight and see if he will let me snuggle with him until he sleeps.

Superstar Student for a Week

Griffin was the Superstar Student for the week which I thought was really cool. I took Chuckey Sue on Friday to show to the class and the teacher was amazed at how mellow she was. Chuckey Sue loves to be held and petted therefore she doesn't try to scamper away like most little critters. He seemed to feel so proud that his mommy and his pet hamster were there in front of the class and they had lots of questions to ask about her.

Each day is so amazing, Griffin is so much like a new guy all the time and it is due to his recent addition of the Focalin XR. He is like two different individuals when he is on and off of it, he is so relaxed and calm when it is in his system and he doesn't get frustrated with most anything at all. He stays on task and focuses on whatever (one) thing that he is doing and doesn't move from one project to another as he used to.

I went to a gathering of sorts to sell handmade soap and skin care products for my dear friend in Washington state but it was quite disappointing. The products sell themselves because they are so incredibly awesome but the only major problem was that there were so few people attending and there just wasn't enough traffic perhaps because it was so far out and there was a big event going on in the next town over. Oh well, maybe one of you would like to try some, just let me know because you will not belive how wonderful this soap and lotion and other products are. The soap is made with pure essential oils and goat's milk and it doesn't leave your skin dry and taunt. The lotion is my favorite because my skin loves it, I only have to use a small amount, it doesn't break my skin out but for sure my skin is softer and always feels moisturized after each application...I use it morning and night on my face, neck, body, feet, and it helps with that super dry skin that is on the feet and elbows. It is very healing especially for sunburn and many other skin conditions. Let me know if you would like samples and I will get them to you, you will just love it.

I made an "A" in my World Religions class and I loved every moment of it and learned a lot. I do look forward to the next class and learning lots more in English Composition. Did I write about that already? Hope not but it is quite possible....sorry if I have...silly me!

You are so Right Melissa H, Thank You my Dear Friend

I will no longer write to or concerning the anon individual who keeps posting and subtley attacking me about how I am being an overly sensitive mom and that the teacher from Griffin's past was "doing her best". No longer will I waste my energy on this, I have support from my friends who totally know the two of us and who know that I am a damn good mom to my son!!!!!

Almost a week ago I took Griffin to his pediatrician and the two of us agreed that we would try Focalin XR for Griffin's attention difficulties and by George..........it is working like a charm! He has excellent reports from school that his behavior is stellar and he is progressing again as he once was. Since it is an ADD med then I thought that he has ADD but the child psychologist that we went to see yesterday explained to me that he does not have multiple diagnosis, that those behaviors and challenges are part of being autistic, even the once thought of...bipolar disorder. I had no idea of this even though I have spent years and years researching and studying all about autism. I guess that some docs do give multiple diagnosis and that's okay, as long as the child is getting what he/she needs.

I am noticing fewer meltdowns, virtually none, and a much happier young man who is the happy-go-lucky little goober that he once was. No longer is life a big fat challenge where making a simple decision is a major ordeal. And what's really great is that he is responding well to the lowest dose possible, he is not even up to the theraputic dosage.

Another thing that I learned from the child psychologist is that there is a list of things to do and not to do in order to help one's child become more independent and the first two are the least intrusive thereby causing no meltdowns (or at least fewer) and the others are most likely to cause emotional disturbances and create a more dependent child. It goes as follows:

eye contact least intrusive most independent

visual aids more intrusive less independent

verbal cues more intrusive more dependent

tactile help most intrusive most dependent

So if you can get the message across through eye contact then it is ideal and visual cues are most effective in that they teach the child to be more independent (like PECS or even pointing to the task) or for Griffin I just write on a piece of paper and make a visual schedule for him (now I do). To verbally give instructions takes away independence and frustrates the child because he/she is not doing things on their own. Of course helping a child with hand over hand or leading them to where the task is to be executed is the most intrusive. And I am so guilty of doing that. I used to lead Griffin to the bathtub to take a shower and every time he would have a meltdown so now I just point and he is fine. Isn't it amazing how simple things can be?