Off To See Queensryche Live In Concert!!!!!!!!

I am so excited about going to see my dear friends and going to see Queensryche in concert and the brunch that we are attending the day of the concert where we get to see the band and schmooze with them for a few hours getting pictures and autographs too. I am going to attempt to talk to Geoff Tate the lead singer, about considering doing a concert or some kind of charity event for autism. I am going to the brunch prepared with a few relevant facts so that I can say a lot in a short period of time. Wish me luck on that one.

I will be traveling all across the country, about 3000.00 miles just to get to where I am going no matter how long the flight it will NOT be nearly as bad as the trip from Alaska was. I am going to miss my precious little guy, life will NOT be as wonderful and filled with his smiles and laughter each day.................don't know how I will handle it myself but I am trying to be positive about it all. I will surely miss his infectious laugh and contagious smile each day but for me to do this is a really big thing since it is for my pleasure and I do feel guilty for leaving him. This is the only time that I have taken a trip all on my own without it being "necessary" such as the trip to Alaska for the trial. Mom and dad have both given me their blessings for going and let me know that they are both doing perfectly fine.........healthwise, and that it will not be a problem for either of them. I would not even consider going if not for their blessings and reassurance that all is well with them and that Griffin will be cared for with no difficulties. Mom is a very strong woman who loves Griffin dearly and she does far better with him during meltdowns and she can talk him out of any given situation and get him to listen to her every time. It is that "Nana" magic I guess.

If mom or dad feels that I need to come back they have let me know in no uncertain terms that they will call me immediately to let me know that I need to come home. They both are confident that that will not be the case at all so I will leave with the trust and respect of their judgment and sound decisions as adults with sound minds to make such choices for themselves and for Griffin.

Love you guys, you know who you are.....my special friends. Hugs to you and yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please keep me in your thoughts and send lots of positive vibes my way so that I can fully enjoy my trip. I could sure use your support in this matter. Also keep Griffin, mom, and dad in your thoughts and send them positive vibes too...............especially Griffin because this change may well effect him and cause him to have meltdowns and I certainly do not want him to feel lost without me. I will be calling him several times a day to let him know how long I will be gone, mom can help him to mark off the days on the calender, and let him know how much I love him.

Please feel free to leave your comments, questions, and advice concerning this trip but I am leaving on the 26th so I need to hear from you right away. Thanks for all of you who are so near and dear to my heart, those of you who have mine and Griffin's best interest in mind and who also have us in your heart. Hugs to my special friends from both of us.

It's a Beautiful Day

I tried several times to upload an image to this entry but for some reason it is not working properly, this is the first time that it has ever happened so I don't know how to fix it.

Griffin is doing great and getting back into his usual routine, there's been no whining and he has learned to be nice and use his manners in order to get what he wants. I am so happy that it seems to be wearing off and he is improving how he copes with uncomfortable situations. I am still going to make an appointment with the child behavior expert for future reference so if it or some other behavior rears its ugly head then I will be prepared and have the tools that I need to deal with it.

Griffin is doing what he did in Anchorage during the winter, he is wanting to stay inside all day and it is still difficult to get him out of the house to go play, to go shopping, or just to go for a walk. It is very isolating and it concerns me that he is not motivated to do something different. I must confess that I have been guilty of isolating myself especially during the wintertime in Alaska due to weather conditions and the degree of difficulty in dealing with how much trouble it was to get dressed and clean off the car and ultimately dealing with driving in dangerous conditions. Since being in the south I have not isolated myself and I usually make great effort to get Griffin active and at least going for a ride in the car for awhile, I love driving my Volvo and it is so nice to get out of the house for awhile.

Today and for the past few days, the weather is sunny and warm (in the 60's) and it is just perfect for going to the playground so that is my goal for the day...............to go run, swing, and play and maybe feeding the ducks and geese.

I have been taking a new medicine for Fibromyalgia and it has helped me to have much more energy but I still have quite a bit of pain, can't remember if I have mentioned that or not so sorry if I am repeating myself. I will ask my doctor if we can increase the dosage a bit to see if it helps me more.

Have a wonderful day!

Whining and Not Being a Good Listener

Griffin is having a hard time today and I cannot get him out of the house to go out to play. I have been getting frustrated with him because he is being so whiny and it is driving me nuts! So he isn't just throwing tantrums but also putting on the tears and yelling at me and giving me orders. I have tried every approach that I know and nothing is working. I have tried the time out approach, being firm and taking away his toys and computer time, being gentle and explaining things to him and giving him a time limit before it is time to go and NONE of these worked. I am at my wits end and sure could use some support, some suggestions at this point in time.

I have even offered to take him to one of his favorite stores just to look around and he said yes once but after that it didn't interest him at all. Please help with any suggestions you might have. I am so very eager to speak to the child behavior expert soon so that I can learn some techniques other than what I have tried.

I woke up at 3:00, 5:00, and at 6:00 this morning and I cannot figure out why I keep waking up. There are times when I get up and eat or do something and when I wake in the morning I find things open or moved that I do not remember doing at all! I once woke up and left the water running in the sink.....thank goodness the drain was open so it didn't get all over the floor. My therapist tells me that it is quite common amongst PTSD survivors to not be aware of what they are doing in the middle of the night, she told me that it has to do with the disassociation that the survivors experience during waking and sleeping hours. All I know is that I have got to stop eating late into the night or I am going to have to buy a whole bunch of new pants.

Ta ta for now, don't forget to laugh whenever the opportunity presents itself!

I Almost Lost My Child Today

I have never been so scared as I was today during Griffin's swimming session, I actually saw my child struggling for his life after he wandered from his OT and ended up in the deep water. I was terrified as I watched his head go under the water as he desperately tried to keep it up. His OT was searching for some toys to play with at the edge of the pool and had instructed Griffin to stay by her side but instead he walked to the deep water without her noticing and I didn't see him until it was nearly too late for him. I stood up and went to the edge of the pool while the OT was trying to visually locate him but she couldn't see him because his head was underwater. I got her attention and pointed to where he was and she immediately went to rescue him. What really pisses me off is that the lifeguard did nothing even though he was right there in front of her. I later complained to the CEO of the YMCA and he said that he would look into the matter.

After we had gotten home I received a call from the supervisor of aquatics and she told me that the lifeguard had done nothing wrong and that she was watching Griffin as he was submerged and struggling for his life of course she didn't admit that the lifeguard could have gone into the pool after him as soon as she saw him go underwater. I almost dove into the water myself as it seemed to me that nobody was doing anything to help him. The supervisor had said that the lifeguard knew that the OT had been helping Griffin work on going underwater so she didn't panic.............What the hell? I responded by reminding them that Griffin was working on that WITH his OT present and not by himself..............Boy did that ever piss me off!!!!!!!!!!! I reminded them that he is only 6 years old and not able to swim on his own and that was the very reason for him to have an OT in the first frickin place!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the reasons that it is so scary for me is that Griffin has no fear of anything and that is the very reason that he wandered off into the deep water and still after the incident he was laughing and smiling through the whole thing. I do not believe that he learned anything from it at all. I most certainly did, that is for sure!!!!!! I will be watching him like a hawk from now on. I know that his OT was scared as well and that it will not happen again. I just wish that the lifeguard and her supervisor had been more responsible and admitted that there could have been something done to help him, I no longer trust them to dive in and help him so I guess that I will have only myself to do something about helping him.

It reminds me of how well I have to watch him around cars because he simply has no fear of traffic and all the dangers of being around cars in parking lots and otherwise. This is why I have a handicapped placard in our car so that I can park close to the stores with less chances of spending much time around the vehicles and less chance of him running off and getting away from me. If your child is a runner then I highly recommend that you get a placard because it does help to manage how much your child exposed to vehicles and it simply just makes more sense.

I went to Griffin's Valentine's party at school and I enjoyed walking around and taking pictures of the children as they sat and ate their goodies and talked to me. Griffin was so happy to see me and he kept acknowledging me and giving me hugs and kisses. I have some pictures that I took that I want to put on the blog but it is getting very late and I must go to bed. There are some great pictures of Griffin that I would love for you to see but it is just going to have to wait until later. Come back soon to visit so that you can see the awesome pictures that I will have posted.

Griffin's Behavior

Griffin came home with a report from his teacher that he was being rude to his peers and stomping and whining all day. I believe that he is still upset about the changes in his routine and because mom and dad are not at home still. I am trying to find a child psychologist or behavior expert so that we can nip this in the bud.

My dad may be home today which would be great so that Griffin can get back into his usual routine and he won't be missing his Nana anymore. He has been having a really hard time with transitions and has a meltdown when we are going anywhere other than home, he even has meltdowns when we go to his favorite places to eat such as McDonald's or Wendy's. I have been trying to help him by explaining things to him but it was all in vain.

Griffin has been really bossy at home and demanding so I am constantly reminding him of his manners and trying to help him ask for what he wants rather than him telling me what to do. It is strange for me now to not have help from my mom in dealing with his undesirable behaviors, it's as if we were back in Anchorage again. It is a reminder for me that I appreciate all the help that I have been getting from my mom since we have lived here. Griffin is too big now to manage so it is only possible to talk to him and it is not possible to pick him up off the floor as he is having a meltdown anymore so I must use my noggin more than ever before in helping him to manage and regulate himself in any given situation.

Time to go to the hospital and see what's going on with my dad, I sure do hope that he gets to come home today for several reasons but it will be nice for mom to be home too because it will really help Griffin regulate his life/actions/and words.

Since I last wrote Griffin has improved significantly and was actually able to go to swimming on the 7th and did an awesome job at being a good listener. He put his face underwater and didn't come up coughing so that was a new milepost for him as far as swimming goes. He had to get 2 shots of Rosephen and was a brave little trooper, he had no fear when we pulled up to the doctor's office because he was focused on watching the local PBS TV station (ETV) and he didn't start to cry until we had to hold him down to get his injection. Soon after the shot he had stopped crying and went on with other things and seemed fine. That is until we got to the school, he became very upset and had a meltdown, his teacher had to come outside the school and get Griffin to go inside............and he did without crying or struggling. I believe that a lot of the reasons for him having meltdowns lately is because he is not in his regular routine and because he wasn't feeling well, he has made a great improvement and has coped with the changes exceptionally well considering all the circumstances.

My dad is doing way better than before, he is eating solid foods, moving around a bit, and speaking much more clearly. I am trying out a new medication (Lyrica) for my fibromyalgia and so far it seems to be helping a lot with the fatigue and with the pain I have all over my body.

I am trying to help Griffin find some semblance of order and routine in his day(s) by letting him stay home for quite awhile so that he can enjoy his down time activities. I will take him to the playground/park to play for awhile since it is so warm and sunny outside even though he is complacent with staying inside right now. I have been cleaning all day and he has been really laid back and happy with what's going on now, I will have to use the McDonald's card in order to get him out of the house because all the other suggestions are not working with him right now.

Hope that you all are well and having a great weekend. Thanks for stopping by to find out what's going on with us, feel free to leave me a comment to let me know that you care for us, it makes me happy to see comments in my inbox.............something to look forward to each day.

Things Are Going Much Better Today

I only have a little while to let you know what's going on with everyone. They took the tube out and my dad is breathing on his own and he still has a great deal of infection and is trying to cough it up, his breathing is labored but at least he is doing it on his own. While I was there today he did open his eyes a few times but it seemed that he wasn't able to focus on our faces, he was just staring out into space. They also took him off of most of the pain meds which I do not understand because he has peripheral neuropathy and as a result has excruciating pain in his feet all the time.

We got a portable cd player and put earphones on him playing his favorite cd's and I am not sure if he enjoys it or not but perhaps he does, it's worth a try. Griffin is doing better today because he went to the doctor yesterday and got a shot of Rosephen and needs to take 5 more days of oral antibiotics because after all this time he still has infection in his ears and congestion in his chest. I let him sleep in this morning because he really needed to rest to help his body heal. He got an award today at school for most improved in science and social studies!!!!! We are all so very proud of him.

I need to go so I can get him to speech and OT so I will try to write again tonight to let you all know how my dad is doing and what's going on with Griffin and me.

A Really Rough Weekend

I am so totally exhausted and so is Griffin because we spent the whole weekend at the hospital where my dad is in CCU (cardiac care unit) he has staph in his whole body but worse in his kidneys, lungs, and his heart. They have rendered him unconscious and intubated him because he wasn't breathing on his own for a couple of days but apparently he is doing better today so they may take the tube out and see if he can breathe on his own.

Griffin has not handled the major changes in the past few days for several reasons but primarily because he is still quite sick and his tolerance is very low. I called the doctor on call but they told me to wait until tomorrow to bring him in to his regular doctor, I didn't agree but who else am I to call? Even though we were there at the hospital I didn't feel like making him sit in the waiting room in the ER to see a doctor and be exposed to even more sickness and germs.

I asked the nurse about exposure to the staph but she didn't give me much information so I am going to strongly encourage Griffin's doctor to draw some blood and make sure that he doesn't have it as well. My dad has been very sick for weeks because he refused to go to the doctor and in that time I do not remember what kind of close contact they have had so I am very concerned. My mom is still very sick and has been for a couple of weeks so I am worried about her too, she has been coughing up blood but will not leave my father's side. I understand why she won't leave my dad because if it were my child I would be the same way that my mom is with my dad. They have been together 45 years and that is quite the strong bond. My mom is a very nurturing mother and wife, she loves to bake treats for the people in her everyday life such as the staff at the pharmacy or her doctor and others who help her in sometimes just small ways. They say that people forget what you say and how you act but what leaves the most lasting impression is how you made them feel and mom makes people feel warm and fuzzy because she is such a giving person. I just hope that my dad gets come home soon so that we all can rest easy and get some semblance of order back in our lives. My dad and I are really close and I am having a hard time processing all this.

Tonight, I had to buy a brand new DVD player for Griffin because his old one broke and boy did that ever set off a meltdown. He loves that thing so much and it is a big part of his free time activities so it is worth the cost. I can return the old one because I got an extended warranty with it.

I am so glad that we are at home where it is nice and quiet and will get to sleep in our own beds. Griffin really missed my mom tonight at bed time because she usually snuggles with him too, he told her over the phone that he missed her and loved her and that she needs to come to the bed to snuggle with him. He didn't understand that she was not going to be here even though I explained it to him. We will be so glad when they are back home.

I will keep you updated, got to get Griffin to bed where we will snuggle and zonk out!