Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons

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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Griffin's New Respite Provider...Jim

This is my dear friend Vicky who took care of Griffin while I was in the hospital and Griffin smiling ever so sweetly.

Griffin went with the new respite provider on Saturday, I am a bit behind in writing in the blog, and it seemed to go pretty well for the first time I suppose. He wasn't thrilled but at the same time he wasn't disappointed either. When it was over he gave Jim a high five and a fist pump with a big smile so I guess that was a good sign. When I asked him how it went he told me it was boring but I couldn't get him to elaborate. First, we went to the playground and I observed them together and Griffin was very aloof even once telling Jim to go sit with me and to leave him alone for awhile. I decided to let them go to the lake to feed the ducks without me and I guess they stayed for about 45 minutes or so. Jim reported that Griffin tried to catch the mother duck that had the ducklings and Jim had to tell him to not do that but that he was okay with the correction, they didn't use up all the bread I gave them, and I think that Griffin was just not comfortable being around him yet that is why they ended up coming home so soon. They had planned to do more and to stay longer but Griffin wasn't into it.

I just hope that everything is okay with Griffin and that this works out for him because he really does need a male role model in his life. He hasn't had one since living with my dad and that wasn't for long and that was a long time ago. He has never had his father in his life and he has been asking about him, he is beginning to feel a void in his life and I hope that if he has a male role model that is positive that it will help. Jim seems like a good man and he comes highly recommended by the Autism Society and by Elsa who was the camp director at the autism camp where Griffin went for 2 yrs so she knows Griffin and his needs. I believe that if Elsa trusts Jim then I should trust him and he is also a Title 1 reading teacher for the school district, he has a family with a 9 year old daughter. Also he has worked with an autistic child who was challenging before through the Autism Society for awhile.

All the signs are there that I should trust Jim and I feel good about it but I can't help but to wonder deep inside if I am too trusting and if I just want it too bad to work out for Griffin and ignoring what I really should be paying attention to. Griffin has been coached a million times on what to do if someone tries to touch him in his "private parts" we go over it all the time and he gets it right every time but I can't help to wonder if he would really get it right in an emergency, if it was really happening. Would he panic? Would the molester groom Griffin so well that Griffin would not recognize the signs? I can't help to wonder all those things. Am I being paranoid? My child has a communication disability, he cannot express himself verbally and often only acts out instead which is nearly impossible to interpret.

Griffin has a new LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) who specializes in autism and has seen us for 2 visits now and has helped Griffin a great deal already. We have approached the problem that we have had with hitting, something that Griffin has been doing for quite some time. We have been to several psychologists and to TEACCH and nobody has been able to help us remedy the hitting problem. I think that Paul's approach is going to work. It goes as follows: There are 5 levels, 1 is Happy 2 is worried 3 is upset and time to get the ( I need a break card), 4 is mad and 5 is AGAINST THE LAW! So, he has to become familiar with each stage and know that by the time he is at 3 he needs to get his break card and go to his room until he is calmed down so that he doesn't get to level 4 or 5. If he takes a break then he can calm down and get back to level 1 and be happy again.

I am going to ask Paul about my fears of Griffin being molested even though they are deep seated, I do still think that I should know what signs to look for in Griffin's behavior and expression. Better safe than sorry....I may be overprotective but I had rather be guilty of that than to have something happen to my son right under my nose.


Looking for Blue Sky said...

I understand your fears about Griffin's safety, but I also agree with you about male role models - my son lives in a house full of women, so in other situations he heads straight for any men who are around! He LOVES male teachers and his Uncle (my brother) :)

kristi said...

I am glad you are back home and your friend was so nice to take care of Griffin.