Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons

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Friday, September 14, 2012

Griffin's Cousin Sammy

On Facebook I had "friend-ed" my son's father's nephew Sammy who I had found through a search when trying to find Griffin's dad. When I sent a message to Sammy a year ago after finding him and asking him if he knew Griffin's dad he answered me and said yes, that it was his uncle and that he would get in touch with him and give him the message that I had given him.

We have exchanged a few messages but he apparently doesn't see Griffin's dad, Sam, very much but he is cooperative and wants to help me out when he can. Yesterday, I noticed that he had updated his profile picture so it showed up on the main page on Facebook and it reminded me that it was about time to get in touch with him again. I sent him a message, this time a more personal and lengthy one including a new photo of Griffin showing that Griffin looks more and more like his dad every year.

Today he responded! "I cant promise anything but i will let him know and i will let you know he looks like him like really you have a good 1 and I'll let you know what he says haven't seen him in a while" He wrote that he will let him know because I asked him to send the message I wrote to Same and to show him the photo of Griffin and to ask him to call me, that I only wished for Griffin to have a father in his life especially since Griffin has been asking about him. It made me feel good that he said that I have a good "1" and agreed that he looks like his dad. It was good that he was honest about not being able to promise me anything and that he hasn't seen him in awhile. Sammy is quite young, I think in his 20's, and I appreciate his innocence and honesty the fact that he is not jaded and that he is compassionate. He really seems to care about Griffin and hope that Sam comes around.

I told him that I only wish the best for his family and to please tell them so and to please show them the photo of Griffin. I told him that I wish that he could know Griffin that he would be so proud of him. Maybe Sammy will make a connection with us, after all he has remained friends with me on Facebook and he has not minded being a bridge between me and Sam so it gives me hope that maybe something could happen in the future.

Some moms take for granted that their sons have fathers even though there is a battle over child support but I am telling you that that child is better off knowing his father or even daughters knowing her father because there is no substitute for that male role model. Griffin has been without one for nearly 11 years and there has been a void in his life and he feels me! It is obvious. He gravitates to men like a magnet and it scares me because it makes him easy prey to child predators. I have tried to get him a male mentor but there is not one to be found and since I do not date.....and even if I did it doesn't mean that I would trust some new guy to be around my son unsupervised to go do things. There are just too many perverts out there who are looking for women who have children so they can win over the trust of the women then target the children, I am no dummy. I had rather stay single than to sacrifice the safety of my child, he is better off without a mentor for now.

We are supposed to start Special Olympics bowling tomorrow and I am hoping that Griffin likes it because he needs to have something active to do even if it is indoors. I have been taking him outdoors more now that the weather has cooled and it is far more pleasant, no more sweating!

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