Fun Depot

Last Saturday we celebrated Griffin's birthday by going to Fun Depot in North Carolina and he seemed to have a really good time. The place was packed and noisy but it didn't seem to phase him at all until the very end when he became restless and started to do the limp noodle bit. It was quite understandable that he would eventually become overwhelmed but he had lasted a few hours playing and running around just as a typical kiddo would. My sister's daughter was there and we got a picture of Griffin kissing her on the cheek unfortunately it was a pic taken in the portrait booth and I cannot share it with you but just the same it was an awesome picture. I am thrilled that he gave her a peck on the cheek because it was an interaction, I mean he actually touched her and in an affectionate manner too. Once Griffin started to show signs of fatigue and of being overwhelmed we went straight home and he zonked out before his meds even had time to kick in, must have been exhausted. All in all it was a great day and I am so grateful that my family was there to share such a special experience with us. I really think that Griffin has enjoyed being around the family, he seems to love the attention and affection. Even though things are not quite the same, the school is not as good, and the services, money and resources are not as good, I am still glad that we are here. Anchorage was good for many things this is true but there's nothing like having family and loving support which we did not have there. I do miss my friends considerably but I don't miss the endless days of darkness, frigid temperatures (that kept us inside all the time), and the tons of snow.......well, I do kind of miss the snow but not shoveling it and having to drive in it! Everything is a trade off and there's got to be a balance in life so instead of complaining about what I don't have I will just be grateful for what we do have and just love life in spite of it all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRIFFIN!!!!!

January 31st Griffin will be 5 years old!!! Happy Happy Birthday to my big boy, I love you so very much!!!! As I reflect I think of how he has grown and developed over these years and it seems like such a long long time ago that he was being diagnosed at age 15 months with autism but at the same time it seems like just yesterday that he was being such a goofy little baby and making me laugh just as he still does. I have read about how parents mourn for the child who once was NT before being diagnosed but I don't feel that way and never have. I just see that little guy as being the same one that I have right now. It's just that he has progressed and digressed in certain areas just as a NT child would but in different ways. There are ups and downs in our lives/his life just as in any family. I don't believe that I am looking at the world through rose colored glasses either, I think that I am just loving life and living in the moment, and accepting Griffin for who he is and throwing all the expectations out the window. Griffin brings so much joy to my life and to those who are near him, he truly touches their hearts with his infectious laugh and brilliant smile. Every day I am grateful for all that he is, I have the whole package.....autism and all so why not be grateful for him because it's not gonna change (or is it?) and if it does then I will love and accept that Griffin also. Sure there are times when I just want to throw my hands up in the air and curse his autism but often times it isn't the autism that is to blame, it's just Griffin being a child. There are times when it is the autism and I can blame it but at the same time it's never an excuse for trying to separate "IT" from him....they are one and the same and I must accept that. My beautiful child has autism and I celebrate who he is and love him unconditionally autism and all. For some of you it may be a different story but isn't that what life is all about anyhow? Even for parents, children, families who are considered NT? We all have our own challenges/struggles to deal with from day to day and isn't it our PERSPECTIVE that makes all the difference in the world? Some of you may HATE autism but how can you hate what is part of your child? Because the two cannot be separated. Perhaps I need to be enlightened by you in order to understand how you feel. I want to understand because I know that you love your children too, just as much as I love my child. My point is that we are all living different life experiences no matter what type of child we have, it is all a great big puzzle and at the same time it is a lovely mess. Life is a mystery to me and I'm not sure that I want all the answers especially if there's no solution (That statement no doubt has ruffled some feathers). I am an optimist but sometimes to a fault but I have have been inspired by my child's joyful disposition and I believe that if I follow his lead then he will take me places that I had only dreamed of finding. For in the end, it is he who is the teacher. He has been put upon this earth to show me the meaning of life and what love is all about. I gave birth to a brilliant and loving soul who has heart is bigger than anyone I have ever known and I cannot wait to see which way he leads me and all the precious moments that I am so privileged to share with him. We have one more blessed year and many an obstacle that we have overcome and for a child with autism who isn't supposed to like change.........he certainly has shown me that change is good and at times it is destined to be. With all my love and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you Griffin for all that you have shown me and taught me along the way!!!!!!!!!

Visit Tina's Blog

ELMOS SING ALONG GUESING GAME is what it reads, this is Griffin's fantastic spelling with only one minor mistake so I think that he is doing a wonderful job. There's not much to report so this is going to be a really brief post. Please visit my friend Tina's blog AutismSchmatism
and read about her son who is sick and in the hospital, say a prayer for them and that he heals/recovers from his illness quickly. He is only 6 years old and they don't even know what is going on with him. Tina is a very dear friend of ours and so are her son's Chance and Jayce. Tina has her hands full with taking care of Chance and Jayce being in the hospital so sick. It breaks my heart that he is so ill and so very unhappy. Let's give Tina some support by leaving her a comment and letting her know that you are thinking of her.

Griffin Had His O.T. Eval Today

Today we met Lauren, Griffin's new O.T. and it was an upside down session. He did not want to listen and do what she asked of him at all. As I quietly observed I wondered if the presence of myself and my Mom was making a difference so I asked her if she preferred for us to leave the room and she said that it was up to me and that I knew Griffin best. So, instead she left the room with him and I could hear him playing and laughing in the distance. He wouldn't put his shoes on for her nor for me or for my Mom. I began to think that perhaps it was because everything was so new and he may have felt overwhelmed or maybe he was just pushing buttons and seeing how much he could get by with......who knows? He was restless and acting very silly and I know for sure that he can do all the things that she asked of him but he flatly refused to do anything she asked especially when she asked. Lauren did recommend that Griffin have O.T. once a week for about 30-45 minutes. We would do it more often but there is a waiting list apparently and I guess that we are lucky to even get that much. Now I've got to get a referral from his new pediatrician for Speech and Language therapy. I do have some new pics of Griffin but I just haven't uploaded them to my computer yet........LOL What a lazy arse I am!!!

Change Is Inevitible and ABA Welcome

Griffin just got over some kind of stomach flu that has been going around the area and boy was it vicious. He was sick with vomiting for several days and it was all we could do to keep him hydrated but he is better now and back to his happy camper self again. He has been hanging out with Nana (my Mom) and having a ball and still talking up a storm. I have decided that I should just trust Griffin's new teacher and her methods even though they are new and strange to me. I have spoken with a key person who thinks that the new classroom and the ABA will be good for him, this person knows Griffin very well and I trust her opinion. So maybe I just need to open up my mind and see how it works, I really don't think that Griffin is being abused in this new classroom so why not give it a try? I truly think that it could actually be beneficial for him. If necessary I will request another I.E.P. meeting and have things changed around. I think that part of my concern was that Griffin was being over disciplined for his behavior and now since speaking to this individual I believe that it's not the case at all. After speaking in detail again to Griffin's new teacher I feel more at ease with what she is planning to do with him and with the ABA method. I guess that I also need to do some research on ABA and become more familiar with it and that way I will be much less afraid of it. For all these years Griffin has been taught through the TEACCH method and it has worked so wonderfully for him and I was afraid that changing would not be good for him but now I have opened up my mind and realized that he is growing and with that growth comes progress which is in turn a product of change. Griffin is unusual in that he doesn't seem to mind change at all unlike so many individuals with autism who prefer sameness. He does well with the lack of structure and routine but I guess that the structure of ABA will still do him some good. It is good that he can adapt to the change of the new environment, people, and classroom but as it was pointed out to me, he is going to try and push some buttons to see how far he can go with his new teachers so it only makes sense that there are methods in place that help him and them to deal with his behaviors and to keep them in check so they don't get out of hand. I don't want my child to be out of control at this age and most certainly not at any age especially as he grows older and larger. Here's hoping that it all goes well and that this strange and new situation grows on me and helps Griffin to grow up.

Griffin is Talking Much More

I knew that we would miss Kathleen and sure enough we miss her really bad. I miss her in more ways than just one. Not only was she an excellent teacher but a great friend and advocate for Griffin. Pictured here is Kathleen reading a book "Oh The Places You Will Go" by Dr. Suess (My all time favorite Dr. Suess book) while I am crying and trying to take a photo. I haven't given the new teacher a chance yet but I am trying to do my best to get to know her and her teaching methods. I plan to go in there and observe her and Griffin to see how things are going. I put a note in Griffin's backpack this morning to her asking how he is doing and some concerns of mine but she did not respond. I am hoping to keep the lines of communication open with her and discuss what is going on with Griffin if not on a daily basis at least on a weekly basis. It is imparitive that I keep up with how he is doing, how he is progressing, and how his behavior is. I got upset the other day because I had discovered that the bus driver was talking on her cell phone while driving the bus. This greatly concerned me so I called transportation and talked to the supervisor of the bus drivers who pretty much made excuses for the driver and didn't even care that it was going on. She said that it was her personal cell phone and that the aide couldn't answer it because of that fact. I was becoming really quite frustrated at this point and decided to go over her head on the matter so I called the district office and spoke with a man there. This guy basically laughed in my face when I asked him if he agreed with me that it was a safety issue, he told me that he wasn't going to comment on that at this time. He did, however state that it was their policy for the drivers to NOT use the cell phone while driving the buses. So, now I guess that the morning bus driver is not too thrilled with me since she is the one that I reported even though I doubt that anything has changed except for her attitude towards me (and hopefully not towards Griffin). One day soon I am going to call the bus driver again and see if she is on the cell phone while driving the bus and if she is then I guess that I will have to go over the head of the guy at the district office and see what happens from there. Otherwise, Griffin is doing great and I am too. Griffin's speech has really taken off and he has been talking up a storm and everything that he is saying meaningful and has a purpose. I am so proud of him and he seems to be proud of himself too. He gleams with pride whenever he accomplishes a sentence or two and gets his point across. Griffin's communication has become easier to hear and understand and I attribute that to being around my parents and hearing more people talk all the time as opposed to the time he spent at home alone with me and I didn't talk that much. Things are definitely looking up for us in many ways. Life here is not without its drawbacks that's for sure but I am doing my best to remain positive and hopeful that everything will turn out for the best.

All is Well

Here my Mom and Griffin are eating pumpkin pie, Mom called it a "pie party", in case you notice, Griffin has a pair of goggles on top of his head. I have spoken with the assistant principal and the teacher of the school Griffin is to attend to resolve some of the issues that I had with the program. I feel better now that I have talked to them and have been assured that they would follow my guidelines and respect my wishes as I had described in the IEP meeting. There will be no use of the Rifton chair for any other purpose than to help my child have a place to sit still and be organized. I am going to go in and observe early on and see exactly how Griffin reacts to the use of this chair. I am going to see how well Griffin does in a thirty minute circle time too because I think that it is just too long for him. I have decided to give it a try and see how it goes because Griffin does need to socialize even if it is only for 2.5 hours a day. There is no other classroom available to him at this age, the school system here does not accomidate 4 yr. olds in an all day setting. Griffin must wait until next school year in order to be able to go to an all day program which really really stinks! He deserves so much more and I am sure that he would do a lot better in a longer program but I knew that there would be a price to pay for moving and sure enough I am not surprised at all. What I can do is to check into other private programs/schools that might support what it is that Griffin needs. I called to get private Speech Therapy but there is a long waiting list and I don't think that there will be an opening anytime soon (he will be getting speech at the school). At least he will get O.T. and soon so that is something to get excited about. It is raining here and is in the mid 60's so it is a warm rain which I absolutely love and it is around -3 in Anchorage right now so I am not missing it too much right now even though there is tons of snow and I know that it is absolutely gorgeous which I do miss.

Have A Happy New Year

With the approaching new year I think back of this time last year and wow what a huge difference and what a long way we have come. I have much to be grateful for and one of those many things is my mental health. Since moving down to South Carolina I have noticed a big difference in my well being and the lack of a feeling of depression. I don't know if anyone remembers but this time last year I was just coming out of the mental health crisis center in Anchorage and I had to leave Griffin with Kathleen for a week and it was such a painful and empty feeling that I thought that I would never get through BUT, I made it through and here I am. There are many things that I miss about Anchorage and one of those things is having my own space and the independence that I don't have here (yet) but it is but a small price to pay for having my mental health back (though never fully restored...lol) and having help with Griffin. Since my last entry I have found out that the medicaid down here does in fact pay for OT for Griffin. I am so thrilled! He has an appointment for the 15th for an hour eval. I am keeping in touch with Gayle, Griffin's previous OT in Anchorage, and we are going to compare notes once he is up and running with his new OT. Just in case there is someone reading this who doesn't know what OT means, it is Occupational Therapist or Occupational Therapy and if you have a child with autism I highly recommend seeing one because it has made a world of difference for Griffin. I don't know yet if the OT here does swimming or not but I am eager to find out what is in store. My time on the computer is still quite limited and I have been really quite busy but I have been thinking of you, all my blogger friends, and hope to get by your blogs soon to see what is up with you and to say "Hi" and to let you know that I still care and am interested in what is going on in your lives. I wish you all a very happy new year and may you have great success in all that you do. May you be surrounded by those who love you and whom you love and have a safe and wonderful New Year's Eve. Oh, I forgot to mention that the photo above is of my niece Hayley with Griffin, he really seems to like her and seems to enjoy all the attention that he gets from her as she loves to snuggle up with him and give him lots of hugs. Thank you to all of you with whom Griffin has had contact and those of you who have helped us in the past year because we wouldn't be where we are today, doing so well, if not for you. We love you all very much and miss the ones who are far away in Anchorage. It makes sad to think about all that we left behind in Anchorage but now is the time to live in the moment and appreciate all that it has to offer, never to forget those we love and miss but to be strong and look forward to the bright and promising future. Hugs to you all and Happy Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Holidays

Griffin was thrilled to get his Big Bird, a present from our dear friend in Alaska, Glenn. He seemed to not be able to grasp the concept of Christmas but did understand the concept of giving gifts because he was spending a lot of time wrapping up presents (which were his toys) in tissue and tape to give to NaNa and PaPa with a bow on top of course. Griffin did really well with the chaos going on in the house, he did do some stimming but only briefly though. The weather is rainy and has been for the past few days and this damp cold is more difficult to tolerate than the dry cold of Alaska. It is hard to understand, I'm sure, if one has not felt the difference but even when it was in the single digits in Alaska I could stand it better than the damp 40's here in SC. I hope that all of you are having happy holidays no matter what holiday you celebrate/observe I hope that you days are full of love and laughter. We are enjoying being with our family, it sure is nice after having been all alone in Alaska for 16 years, well not totally alone, we did have some friends there indeed but for the most part Griffin and I have spent most of our time there alone/all by ourselves. I don't know how I made it by myself for 4 1/2 years raising Griffin by myself especially now that I have the loving support of my parents/family here. Hugs to you all and a very happy holiday!

Griffin went to the doctor yesterday because he needed a new prescription for his Clonidine. I had my concerns about the medication that I had presented to him such as: Does Clonidine, being a medication for high blood pressure, lower Griffin's otherwise normal blood pressure? The doctor answered with: Clonidine does not lower "normal" blood pressure only "high" blood pressure. That was a big relief. I asked him about Griffin waking up in the middle of the night despite him having taken the .2mg of Clonidine and having zonked out. He told me that the medication only lasts 4-6 hours and then wears off (that is when Griffin wakes up). So, it is up to me at that point as to whether or not I want to give him more meds to get back to sleep. Usually if it is around 5 a.m. or so I will just tough it out and stay up with him and not give him more meds but if it is earlier than that I will give him more meds in order to help him get back to sleep. We also discussed the fact that Griffin might be having night terrors and the doctor explained to me that he is in a transition between stages of sleep and they are hard to awaken and very difficult to console because they are still asleep and do not hear or see you. Then Griffin got 3 shots: DTAP, Polio, and the 2nd Chicken Pox vaccinations. I feel so bad giving him his vaccinations but he cannot school without them at least as far as I know that is the law but I was wondering if there is anyone who has stopped giving vaccinations due to the possible thimerisol in the vaccine. My sister has not given her child any vaccines at all and her daughter is 2 years old but I am afraid to not give Griffin his required vaccines even though some of the illnesses are pretty much non-existent anymore. I would love to hear what you have to say about what your opinion is about vaccines/thimerisol and whether or not you think that they are necessary and can my child attend school without these vaccines. I need to do some research and find out whether or not he can go to school without them. Othewise, Griffin is doing great and the toilet training is coming along wonderfully. He uses the toilet by himself now and will even go when I ask him if he needs to. I usually tell him that it is time to go "potty" but he now knows very well whether or not he really has to go, so asking him if he needs to go and leading him into the bathroom he will then decide if he truly needs to go or not. Of course he still has times when he is too involved to take out time to go to the toilet but that is not so often anymore. Just in case I don't write again soon then I wish you all a happy and joyous holiday, may you and yours have lots of smiles and laughter and be surrounded by those you love the most.

My Complaints About the IEP Meeting

As you may know already if you have read this blog for very long, I am a HUGE fan of the TEACCH method because it has worked for Griffin for as long as he has been in school which will be 2 years now. I realize that ABA works wonderfully for many of your children and that there are HUGE fans of ABA out there. That is just great for all of you but for Griffin he has become accustomed to TEACCH and thrived with it and I just do not think that he would do well with ABA or at least not as I understand it. This new teacher that is supposed to be his educator is only trained in ABA and has no clue as to what TEACCH is nor does she have a clue that it is totally inappropriate to tell a child that he is a "good boy" as apposed to telling him that he did a "good job". This is all just the surface of what is bothering me. She told me that she was very proud of the fact that she does exactly the same things every single day, day in and day out. I do know my child well enough to know that that simply would not work for him. He would be bored out of his mind if he had to only do the same things, that he already knows, over and over again. Not only that but then she tells me that they have circle time for THIRTY minutes!!!! That is absolutely outrageous and even Kathleen said that it was way too long for Griffin. Then she said in an almost gleeful manner when I asked her what method she used for behavior management she said that they used redirection first (she didn't say that they tried it more than once) then they,the children, are made to sit in a Rifton chair and held down if necessary. I was totally dumbfounded!As she turns to me and asked me if that was okay with me. I found it so appauling that I was speechless, then I found the words and protested and replied that NO it was not okay with me. On top of everything else, the class is only 2.5 hours long and they do not have gym nor do they go outside to play so I just don't see how there can be time for him to socialize. Griffin is used to being challenged and if he is not challenged then he is bored and then he will act out and be "disciplined" and then boy oh boy, will I ever be an exceptionally upset parent then. Perhaps to some of you this does not seem like much of a problem but I am really upset with the IEP meeting and I am going to demand another one and this time I am going to have an advocate there with me from the Austism Society of SC. And yes I did know when we moved down here that the schools would be "poor" at best and that the teachers here wouldn't have anything close to the education and intellegence or the experience that Mrs. Kathleen has in Anchorage, Alaska. She was trully a blessing indeed. There is more to it than I have mentioned but I just get so darn upset then I can hardly type and will have to continue on later. I am seriously considering finding a private school for him until after he turns 5, or rather until the end of the school year and then get him ready for kindergarten. He has been working at Kindergarten level in Kathleen's class, working on tasks individually, and he has shown signs of interacting with his peers in his classroom and outside of it. I need to go now and go to sleep. I thank you all ahead of time for all your support. Please let me know, from those of you with lots of experience, how you think that this might turn out and what I might be able to do about what I consider to be "inappropriate education" and do you agree with the individuals who told me that restraining a child is illegal unless there is some kind of behavior plan in place or something like that? It is all so overwhelming for me and the darn IEP meeting consisted of talk about other people and somebody's colonoscopy, I was beginning to wonder what the heck I was doing there and was it just some kind of social event for them. The one positive thing that I can say is that the director of special needs from the district office seemed really really nice and the teacher seemed to have lots of enthusiasm but most of all the speech path. was the only one whom I found to be totally professional and focused on my child and what is best for him. I will continue later because I didn't even mention anything about the goals, or the lack thereof. Love to you all , thanks and I hope to have time to visit your blogs soon because I miss you terribly and I've got to get an e-mail to Tina and the Boys too. I haven't forgotten you guys.

Just a Quick Entry, Then I Will Cry

I am sooooooo upset that I could cry for a couple of reasons, one being that I just downloaded my pictures from Anchorage and our trip and all the people that we left behind and only to find out that they were not retained in my computer like they usually are so now I have forever lost those images and it just makes me want to cry!!!!!!! The second reason and the most important reason that I want to cry (really bad) is that my worst nightmare of Griffin's education pretty much has come true. I can't go into it right now because I am so upset, so upset in fact that I don't even want to talk about it. Let's just say that it is a good thing that it is Christmas/holiday vacation for the schools down here otherwise the teacher and the administration would be getting an earfull from me about what their idea of an appropriate education is for my child. I just knew that it would be the farthest from Kathleen and that I would never ever be so lucky as to have such a wonderful, intellegent, kind, and considerate teacher such as her but for sure I didn't think that it would be THIS bad. I know that you are probably eager to hear what happened in Griffin's IEP meeting but unfortunately I just can't do it right now and will have to come back to it. I think that I am going to do some crying now and get it out of my system. Otherwise, we are both doing great. Happy Holidays!

Griffin has adjusted great, interacting quite well with my parents, family, and complete strangers. Although it is not even close to the low temperatures of Anchorage it is still quite chilly here sometimes in the teens. Griffin pays no mind to the chill in the air and I think that it is exhilirating and refreshing so we have no complaints. Nothing can compare to sub-zero temps like we had in Alaska so it is nearly tropical here, I do miss the snow though in a way. It is nice to be able to move around freely without having to worry about road conditions though. It is a bittersweet situation because there are good and bad points to each place. I have been kind of helping my parents out with remodeling their house, helping my dad put down the hardwood floors. We finally received all the packages that I had shipped all except my computer that is. So, not only am I staying busy but I still have little time on this laptop and am still waiting for my computer to arrive. We went shopping with my family yesterday in Asheville, NC for Griffin's school clothes and I am going to go and register him for school today. I didn't get the IEP in the boxes that were shipped until last Friday so we are just now able to do that. I am reluctant about putting him into this new classroom because I am not sure about the teacher or her ciriculum, nobody could possibly compare to the awesome talents and skills that Kathleen possesses. I know that Griffin is very intellegent and will do well no matter where he is or what he is doing but I wish for him to love his new teacher just as he has loved Kathleen and for us to become good friends too. Am I wishing for the moon here? Do I expect/desire too much? Is it unrealistic to hope to have a similar situation as we had in Anchorage at Nunaka Valley School? Kathleen, if you are reading this we miss you terribly and thank you again for all that you have done for us, we love you dearly. I am still waiting for the Dept. of Social Services to get in gear and get Griffin's medicaid up and running so that we can begin Speech again, I would say OT also but I found out that in SC medicaid doesn't cover OT unfortunately. Well, it is time to make sometimg for Griffin's breakfast so I need to get going. I will hopefully get my computer before Thursday so that I can send some e-mail and read and comment on blogs again but until then I won't be online for long but I wish you all well and I hope to make another entry soon/before the holidays that is. Take care all of you

We Are Here

This is just a short post to let everyone know that we are here in South Carolina and doing well. Griffin did do very well on the airplane(s) and in fact did not have a meltdown. He has been enjoying himself here at my parent's home. I can't stay online for very long right now because I am tying up the phone line but I will be back soon to post a new entry and give some details of what's going on down here. Love to all my friends and big hugs especially to Tina and the Boys. I haven't had a chance to check my e-mail or to send any out because I don't have my computer yet and my time on this computer is very limited but I will get to it soon.

It's Time to Go

I'm feeling so overwhelmed because I have so much to do and I just don't know how I am going to get it all done in time. It sure would be nice if I had some help! I don't even have time to sit here and compose an entry. Gotta run, Griffin will soon be here and then we've got to go to speech. I am shipping my computer tomorrow so I doubt that I will have time to write again before we leave so GOODBYE EVERYONE for now and see you when we get to South Carolina. Stay well my friends and love & hugs to you all! Wish us a safe journey and NO meltdowns.

Happy Friday

Well, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving and we are truly blessed with dear friends who really care about us. I hope that all of you had a great time as well. Griffin played both alone and somewhat with other children. He has this propensity towards playing with little kiddos, those much smaller than he and when he is near them he totally interacts with them face to face. It is so darn cute to watch. He will bend over in an attempt to get down to their size, look them straight in the face, and begin talking to them and often trying to hug them as well. I think that I can safely say that he is "playing" with them when attempting to do this and I believe that I can also say that this is progress as far as socialization goes.

Sorry for not having any pictures of Griffin, I think that the last one that I took was of Griffin in the snow out on our deck however, I don't have anymore because I have not been taking photos with the digital camera. I hope to remember it before we leave and take some unforgettable pics of Alaska and my little precious kiddo.

That's all for now folks, have a happy Friday and a wonderful weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!~ Unknown

Just Waiting

I'm just waiting now until it's time to do the last minute packing and cleaning. Griffin is doing well, no more signs of him knowing that something is up. He's been acting quite himself, the happy little camper that he is, and still showing signs of great progress. Today he is a bit hyper but I am glad that he is active and playing well on his own because we are staying inside all day due to the freezing cold temps. It's a good thing that there's not much to do because I am feeling really unmotivated today. I should be doing something productive but instead I am going to catch up on reading/commenting on all your blogs. I have missed reading what's going on in your lives and with your kiddos. Lately, I have been feeling anxious and stressed out over this move especially the closer it gets to the 2nd day of December. I worry too much, I'm sure but I can't help but wonder if I will get my stuff done in time and have my apartment cleaned out in time to get my deposit back. That's $700.00 I could certainly use as I will have no income once we are in South Carolina. I worry too that Griffin is going to have a major meltdown once we are on the airplane and I won't have any help unless complete strangers help me like last flight we had back in April when we went to go visit my family. We shall see I suppose, I can only hope for the best and be prepared for the worst, that's my philosophy anyways. As I mentioned before, it is exceptionally cold here and clear/sunny which is always conducive to a good mood but not so easy on the body since the clear skies make it even colder. We haven't had any fresh snow for weeks now and I would like to see some nice new powder before we leave so that I could get some great pictures and because it tends to be warmer when it snows.

Griffin is Beginning to Notice

Griffin is beginning to show signs of not understanding what is going on even though I have explained it to him I still don't think that he gets it. This morning he woke up disoriented and crying. He couldn't figure out what it was exactly that he wanted even though he was trying to tell me, I just couldn't understand him. It finally passed and he got over it and eventually was his happy little self again but I can't help but to think that he did that because of all the changes around the apartment. For the most part our routine is the same and he seems to be doing okay at school at least as far as I know, Kathleen hasn't written anything to me to indicate that he is having any trouble there. This afternoon he seems to be fine too playing on his own, laughing, and talking as usual.

It is so very cold here, presently it is 12 degrees with a wind chill factor of -5 but because of the wind it feels much colder than that actually. My apartment's heat is not working right and it won't heat up beyond 70 degrees which sounds like it is fine but my hands are very cold and so are Griffin's. I have the thermostat turned up past 80 degrees but it won't budge. I am concerned that the colder it gets outside the colder it is going to get in here. I told the landlord and all he could say was that the apartment needs more insulation (which he is going to take care of after we leave) and that 70 degrees is not so bad so in other words, he isn't going to do anything about it. He also stated that the heater wasn't working hard enough to pump out the necessary warmth that would be necessary to heat the apartment. I don't have a space heater nor do I think it is wise to go out and purchase one when we are about to leave. So, I think that I am going to ask him if he has one that I can borrow.

As far as the packing goes I have packed up all that I can for now of all the stuff that we are not using presently and the ARC/thrift store is picking up the donations tomorrow thank goodness. I am so ready for all this stuff to be out of here and not be piled up in the kitchen floor and in the closet. I am ready to clean up and get the last minute stuff packed up and sent.

That's all for now folks, I am going to attempt to get some of your blogs read tonight so hopefully I can catch up on what is going on with you all.

So Much To Do!

I just can't believe how much stuff I have got to pack, throw away, and to donate, it is so overwhelming! This apartment looks like a cyclone has been through here. I have sent already 8 boxes and still have 7 boxes to go. That doesn't include the stuff that's left for the last minute such as toys, clothes, and Griffin's VHS tapes that I plan to send. Talk about expensive, it's a good thing that I have enough money to send this stuff or I would have to donate things that mean a great deal to me. I have been asked by several different people if Griffin has noticed that things are different, if he realizes that we are moving or not. As far as I can tell he is clueless and is acting just as he usually does. I plan on explaining it to him just in case he can understand the concept but I think that as well as I know Griffin he will not react to things being different until it is time to get on the airplane then I believe he will definitely show signs of protest and have a meltdown. I truly hope that he does not get upset and feel overwhelmed, I have a book of PECS that Kathleen made for him for traveling on an airplane from our last trip that should help him to adjust. It is my hope that he will be calm and relaxed because I plan on giving him the Clonidine to help him sleep. We are scheduled to leave in the wee hours of the morning and have our first layover where I hope to be able to meet our friends who we have never met before in person, only through the internet and through phone calls. I am so excited to get to meet them finally. Well, it is time to get back to packing and cleaning, I will keep you updated and let you know what is going on when I am not too busy packing and stuff. I may not have time to stop by your blogs, sorry, but I plan to catch up once we are in SC.