One Must be Familiar with the Circumstances in Order to Form an Opinion

http://thisschoolmistreatedmyautisticchild.blogspot.com/

This link is for Anonymous who says that she is a teacher and to not blame the teacher for what has happened to Griffin. If you only take the time to read this blog you would know where we are coming from. You are apparently not familiar with what has happened and if you are and you are still saying that then something is very WRONG.

Just take a moment and read what I have written and the written material that his past teacher sent home with him and keep in mind that my son is autistic not Down Syndrome and not an Neuro-Typical child either.

Sharing What Works for Parents and Teachers of Young Children with Behavior Difficulties

Amanda left a comment on this blog and I found my way to her blog, it looks as though she just started it but it is awesome. Check it out it is called: Learning to be Buddies and her first post is about Body Language, Empathy, and Facial Expressions....it is so informative and fantastic. She is a teacher in Australia and has a very open mind and appears to be quite intelligent and loving.

How 1 Young Autistic Man Runs a Business

Joe Steffy is off to Overland Park, Kan., this week to do a PowerPoint presentation on his business, Poppin' Joe's Kettle Korn. He's a 23-year-old small-business man with a goal of $100,000 in sales by 2012. Joe also has autism and Down syndrome and is nonverbal. When he gives his talk, he will push buttons on an augmentative speech device to deliver the words. His audience will be parents who fervently hope their own special-needs children will be able to work, too.

Joe's parents, Ray and Janet, of Louisburg, Kan., didn't agree with the assessment of the school district in which they lived previously, which had said Joe would never be able to work or live independently. "I'm one who can easily get ticked off," says Ray. "That ticked me off. We saw more in Joe than that. We set out to prove to the school that he had capabilities." They came across kettle corn while on a trip to Alaska and realized that all that popping, scooping, and serving suited Joe's love of work.

The path to Joe Steffy's success was not an easy one; Ray Steffy worked closely with Dave Hammis, an advocate for self-employment for people with disabilities in Middletown, Ohio, who trains business owners, government employees, and parents on how to make use of state and federal programs. The Steffys wrote up a business plan and helped Joe secure $25,000 in grants from programs like Social Security Administration'sPlan to Achieve Self-Support program (PASS).

In 2005, Poppin' Joe's Kettle Korn was born. Sales have grown from $16,000 in 2005 to $50,000 in 2008, both from selling at festivals and from delivering popcorn to local outlets. Joe has five part-time employees, and his parents help out with driving and other tasks. "Pop and everyone that works with him knows whatever Joe wants to do you let him do, because he's the boss," Ray says. "If he wants to pop, he'll shove Dad out of the way and pop."

If the business stays on track, it should be grossing more than $100,000 in three years, and the Steffys are seeking a business partner who can work with Joe to manage the business. Joe is no longer on Social Security disability payments; instead, he pays state sales tax and state and federal income tax. He rents his own house and is helped by caregivers who are paid by a state program.

"It's been hard work, from the standpoint of physical work," says Ray Steffy, who is 67. "But a parent with a child like Joe has a choice. You can either kick in and do this kind of thing, or you can sit and fret emotionally with the amount of energy, worrying about what's going to happen to them."

The payoff for that effort, as far as the Steffys are concerned, has been priceless. They see their son make a local popcorn delivery, accept payment, fold it, and put it in his pocket. When he walks out, his dad says, Joe looks 3 inches taller than when he walked in. 

US News. Written by Nancy Shute

Spring Break

Griffin's behavior since he has been out of school has been simply wonderful, no meltdowns at all. He cleans up and does his chores without any flack and he has been just perfectly polite using his manners at every turn. Don't know why he is being so difficult at school but he has been fine at home. I asked his OT yesterday about his behavior and she told me that yes, he does tell her "No" but she is firm with him but at the same time she gives an inch and in return he gives a mile. Maybe that's what needs to be done at school. I don't know if his teachers and his shadow have experience with autism or any kind of training but I do plan to ask during the BIP meeting next week.

I had thought that this week would be a challenge but we have had lots of fun together and I am pleased with his behavior. I made an A on my research essay that I wrote about "Wicca Today in America". The professor gave me a 29.5 out of a possible 30......WOO HOO!!!! My next challenge will be the final exam in 2 weeks. But so far so good!

Yahoooo!!! Somebody Sees My Side of Things and Tells the Truth

Anonymous wrote: (see what I wrote in the previous post about this comment)

Please stop blaming his past teacher. As a teacher of children with autism this will do you or your child no good. Educators may make mistakes but are not the cause of your child's behavior. When I see this with parents who have children with behavioral issues it is so frustrating and really helps noone.

April 05, 2009 11:12 AM

 Anonymous said...

To clueless Anon.- what is frustrating are "teachers" who are teaching kids on the spectrum who have NO CLUE. If you read closely regarding this case in particular that teacher had no behavior plan for this child, no clue how to break down skills and teach in an errorless manner using positive behavior practices (which is required by FEDERAL LAW) and she used extremely reactive and punishing procedures. "Teachers" such as that should stop pretending to understand how to teach kids on the spectrum and should STOP denying the kids FAPE under IDEA. Furthermore, there is an old saying in good ABA teaching in particular (and in all methods of teaching kids on the spectrum)--when a child is having problems "look to the teaching, not the child" meaning it is up to the teacher or therapist to have a complete understanding of behaviors and erroless teaching and be delivering it in a way so the child is successful. Teachers who have no clue to the extensive needs of autism spectrum children end up increasing their behaviors and then who do they blame? The child of course. Really, do the kids a favor and get out of the industry. You are destroying the kids who need experienced instructors.

April 05, 2009 2:13 PM

To clueless anon. Please read the other message I posted and get the hell out of the industry if this is your attitude towards parents and their children on the spectrum!

My Child is NOT to Blame and YES the Teacher is to Blame

 This post is just a reply to a comment left on my last post stating that I should stop blaming his old teacher for his behavior issues in the present. And that teacher's make mistakes but they are not to blame for his behavior issues now. 

What I have to say to that is that , yes teachers do make mistakes and quite often they make a lasting impression on their students, I remember things that my elementary school teachers did to me and how they have effected me over the years and still do to a certain extent. So how is it that a teacher scorning a child for making mistakes does not leave a lasting impression? Pray tell.

I believe that teachers have to own what they do and don't do to their students to take responsibility for their actions and words used in repremanding a child, they should think twice about what they do before saying or doing something because the memories do last forever.

I Think It's Time For A BIP

I got a long typed out letter from Griffin's shadow today and apparently he is having some major setbacks as far as behavior goes in all areas and times during the day. He has a really hard time making choices which I think stems from the teacher who was abusive to him nearly 2 years ago. She belittled Griffin when he made mistakes and now he is afraid of getting things wrong and making choices. 

His behavior at home has not been stellar to say the least, he pitches fits when he doesn't get his way and starts screaming and crying then just loses control of himself. I am firm with him and tell him not to yell at me and that he needs to calm down before we can discuss his choices. Usually he will calm down but it takes him at least a good 30 minutes to do so.

So, I think that it is time for us to have a BIP in place so that he will know what is in store for him if he misbehaves. I put a note in his folder for his teacher and shadow. His shadow tells him as Griffin is about to go home from school that he needs to go straight home and do his homework and not to give mommy a fuss about it and it works! He hasn't given me any grief about homework at all, he sits there and does it all on his own and most of the time without asking questions of me.

I believe that if we have a Behavioral Intervention Plan in place and it is used across the board then he will straighten up. He has been really good at pushing buttons and it is time for the buttons to be moved around and have new consequences for his bad behavior.

It has gotten so bad that he can't even make choices for what he wants to eat during lunch and at home he is stuck on fish sticks and french fries and seldom wants anything else unless it is macaroni and cheese. If I suggest anything else he loses it and it is just ridiculous. I don't know if any of this comes from his Bipolar Disorder or not but I plan on asking his doctor if he thinks that his meds need to be tweaked or not. His shadow just thinks that he is just being a stubborn (my word) obstinate (my word) 7 year old. She is so incredible and does such an awesome job with him she is sweet until it is time to be firm and she is great at both.

I made an 84 on my midterm so I still have a 91 (A) average but have to do well on my 8-10 page essay that is due next week. This week we are studying Judaism so I am excited to learn all about it.

Griffin's Swimming has Vastley Improved

If you watch the video you will see how well Griffin is swimming and it has improved so much just in the past few months. He is actually using his arms and legs at the same time! I am so very proud of him.

The challenge that his teacher and shadow have at school is that Griffin is being stubborn about learning to listen to the teacher and not expecting the shadow to give him all of his cues. Our goal is for him to be independent and go into second grade without the shadow. Regardless of that he is doing very well academically and he is doing all of his homework without me around, I watch him from a distance and he stays on task until he is done.

I made an A in my first class online! And I made an A on my first essay for my current class, World Religions! I love this class and all that I am learning about religions even though I am agnostic I still find it fascinating. All the different beliefs and what they dictate for their societies is so interesting. I am on Hinduism right now and have Buddism next. I am writing my final essay on Wicca and it's growing popularity in the United States and the effects that it will have on our society. I love to write so doing essays is a welcome challenge for me.

Griffin is Now the BIG 7 years old!

 We had a great time in NC visiting my sister and then staying with some very close friends of mine, talking, crying, and laughing all night long. Griffin loves to stay there because he has all the things that are precious to him: his DVR, all of his characters, all of his DVDs and DVD player and lots of doggies to play with and watch. We took Abby with us and she had a blast because she had a huge backyard to play in and run around like a puppy.

Well, I have good news about my health...I don't have to have surgery on my ankle but the ortho doctor told me that because I have Fibromyalgia it could take up to a year for it to heal, that part's no so great 'cause it still hurts like heck.  Been having some manic episodes lately which totally sucks! Actually it's more like rapid cycling which is even worse but I see my doc on Wednesday and I trust that he will fix me right up with all the right meds. He is by far the best doctor that I have ever had--bar none.

I've been brushing up on reading hands/palmistry again, I used to do it many many years ago all the time but have forgotten a lot of it. It is so fascinating and I love it. Doing great in school, just finished my final essay 2 weeks early because I was so excited to do it, I just love to write. Hope I did as well as I think that I did.

Griffin has a pretty bad ear infection and vomited last night, don't know why unless he caught some stomach flu as well....poor little guy. I feel so bad for him but to see him you wouldn't be able to tell that he is sick because he just continues on with life and doesn't let it get him down. Did I mention that he is in the accelerated reading program? Yep, and he is doing excellent!

My Little Guy is Growing Up

As you can see Griffin lost his first upper tooth and it is so bittersweet because he is growing up so fast and although I am proud of him it is still kind of sad. Lately he has shown more and more need for independence and having his own space, much more than ever before. So mommy yields to his desire and often it nearly brings me to tears. 

Yesterday Griffin had in his backpack a note from a little girl in his class that had been put in his cubby apparently. She wrote: Dear Griffin I like u Yvonne with a picture she drew of a little boy and girl holding hands...............for sure that brought me to tears! I can't believe it, that he has already gotten his first love letter and he has only been in school for 2 weeks! His shadow told me that he likes another little girl named Brittany and I asked why he had singled her out and she said that "She is very pretty and has long brown hair". But when I asked what Brittany thought of Griffin she replied that she didn't think that she noticed him but I truly doubt that he really cares.

Griffin has been getting nearly all 100's on all of his school and homework and his handwriting has improved 10 fold just in the past week. When we do homework he tries really hard to make sure that it is correct and that he stays in the lines. He is really slow and careful but that is a good thing because the speed will increase over time.

I have been "in school" for only about 3 weeks now and I am at the point where I sometimes get overwhelmed and I am only taking one class. I guess that I just need to get used to it and figure out how to pace myself. I find that I need frequent breaks or else I end up just starring at the screen while attempting to read and accomplish nothing. It is very good for me to be using my noggin once again and to have that intellectual challenge that I have been missing for so many years so I love it! Next month I will begin World Religions and I am very excited about that. For the better part of adulthood I have been fascinated with spiritual beliefs and how they all seem to have a common thread. Especially after reading Joseph Campbell which has made me more aware of not just religion(s) but also of my own spirituality. Even though I am agnostic I do consider myself to be a spiritual individual, it is something that is very personal and private.

My health has not been too good lately. About 2 or 3 weeks ago I began having episodes in the evening where my head would tingle and my skin would crawl really bad. Then I feel foggy and disoriented but had no pain. I noticed that only if I lie down it would lessen but as long as I was standing or sitting the symptoms would not go away. I went and am still going to see the neurologist for tests: EEG, MRI, sleep study, and a test for my circulation to my head. So far all I know is that my circulation is okay but we haven't ruled out seizures or having something else going on in my head. I will find out on Feb. 4th. 

Griffin Is In Regular Ed Class

Yes indeed Griffin is going to school again, back to the first school that he went to over 2 years ago when we first got here. I had home schooled him for almost a year before we moved into our apartment because I refused to make him go back to where he had been abused but now he is in his original school and so far he is doing absolutely fabulous! He is in the 1st grade in a regular ed classroom and I couldn't be more thrilled!!! 

He has a "shadow" who stays with him all the time and she is so wonderful and so delightful, Griffin has really taken a shine to her and he really seems to adore his teacher too. His teacher is young and simply gorgeous, her personality really shines through, it is obvious that she truly cares about Griffin. Griffin's speech path. is so energetic and so compassionate, she said that he did a great job on his first day with her. I am so excited for him and that he is getting along with all the adults so well but now I just hope that he makes some new friends as well............in time I think he will.

In the morning Griffin wakes up and gets dressed and out the door with no protests whatsoever. He eats breakfast at school and he understands that we leave without eating so that he can participate in eating at school. When it is time to do homework he does so willingly until it is finished, once in awhile if there is a lot of it he does ask to take a break.

He is so far beyond all of his 1st grade peers in reading in fact, he reads at just about the same level as I do...........no kidding! It was obvious to his teacher that his weakness is in math therefore, he will be taking math one-on-one with the special needs teacher (whom he also adores) that he used to have when he first went to that school. She is a doll and I know that she will treat him with the utmost respect and complete kindness as she did in the past.

I have started school on-line and so far it is going great, I even worked ahead a little bit and I have already finished my paper that is due at the end of the week. Taking this class is really helping me to become more familiar with learning on-line and after this semester I am sure that I will feel much more confident and will be able to take more than just one class at a time.

So, everything is going great even though my foot/ankle are still pretty messed up. I go to see the orthopedic doctor on the 23rd to see if I am going to have to have surgery or what. All in all I have no complaints............Life is Good!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Positively Autistic" YOU MUST SEE THIS VIDEO

"Positively Autistic" (click on the link) is a short video that must be viewed by anyone and everyone, not just those associated with autism. It is so unique and different from all those videos that show individuals with autism as being prisoners of an incurable disease. It dispells the myths that autism is something that must be cured and that autistics are people who must be made more "normal" and indistinguishible from neurotypicals so that they will blend in with them in society.

Please watch this video and take the time out of your day to do something that may change your perspective on how you view and understand autistics to be. The video is written in part by autistic individuals who speak out against being treated like they are diseased and abnormal, they only wish to be respected just as they are and understood to be functioning individuals with something to contribute to society/their community.

This video may change your life and leave you with a good feeling about how autistic individuals feel about themselves. If you do watch it, please leave a comment on how you feel and think about it.

Reunion

Griffin and I went to North Carolina over the weekend and had a wonderful time. I reunited with friends that I have not seen nor heard from since 1996 and I could not believe how much time had passed and how all the children had grown up and had babies of their own. 

We didn't stay as long as I would have really liked but 2 days and 2 nights just had to do and it was time well spent. Griffin had everything that made him happy..........the DVR, the DVD player, all of his "printers", and all of his plush characters. I bought him all of his favorite foods and he was quite the happy camper. 

We will return again soon because it is only about an hour away and I love them all so very much, I used to be a nanny with my dearest friend, Lisa and it just amazes me how her children have matured. I have missed them all so much through all those years but I plan to make up for all the time lost and never shall we part again and lose touch with one another.

Our New Humble Home

We are finally moved into our new home and Griffin has adjusted quite well especially considering that he does not have a computer or his DVR there, only his DVD player and VCR. He slept all by himself in his very own room and frankly I think that he is quite proud of it because when he got to his NaNa's house he told her all about it.

It is sparcely furnished but it is still home and I love having my own space again. We come over to my parents' house during the day so that we can use the computer and so Griffin can get his NaNa fix. So far it seems to be working out just fine and even Abby has made the adjustment, the first night neither of us slept well then I woke feeling exhausted subsequently I had the anxiety attack from hell. It was one of the worst ones that I have ever had and it took forever to go away. Afterwards I napped off and on all day but was still exhausted and felt like I had partied for days and was stripped of all the nutrients in my body. I took an old medicine as prescribed by my doc and slept very well two nights in a row so I am feeling awesome now.

My Other Blog

Please take a moment and read my other blog about how Griffin was abused for having autistic behaviors in school. I posted a note that was sent home with him and it is a doozy and it proves that his for lack of a better term, "teacher" April Hendricks, didn't know what she was doing and obviously doesn't know how to deal with an autistic child.

That's all for now, I will post more soon about the apartment and other stuff that is going on.

Fresh New Haircut and Teeth Cleaning

Griffin just got a fresh new haircut and the best part is that he sat there all by himself for the first time and cooperated with the barber sitting perfectly still. Also Griffin went to the dentist and for the most part he laid very still and cooperated with the dentist and hygienist too. He got a clean bill of health...........NO cavities! His 6 year molars are coming in and he has a loose tooth in the front.

I am so proud of my little guy who is getting to be a big guy because he is maturing and growing up so fast. He has just recently shown improvement in dealing with the outside world and coping with any surprises that may come along while we are out.

On Thanksgiving my sister and her family will be coming down from North Carolina which will be great. I think that most likely Griffin will not be partaking in the "feast" because he hardly eats anything, no variety, and try as we might he probably will not even taste the food, those days are long gone. I hope that one day he will begin trying new foods again so that there is more variety and more nutrition in his daily diet.

We will be moving out of this house where we have been for two years into a place of our own. Once again we will have our own space and Griffin will have his own bedroom. It is only a one bedroom but I will sleep in the living room so that Griffin can have the bedroom all to himself. I am so excited to make a fresh new start and to be close to my parents' house will be a bonus. We will only be about 15 minutes away from them. Got to get lots of new stuff to furnish the house and we've got to move next month because I am beginning school online in January. I will be very busy in December so I don't know how much blogging I will have time for but I hope to be able to keep you updated

Teletubbies

Griffin is a Teletubbies fanatic! I believe that the show is meant for preschoolers but it makes no difference to him because it is practically all he talks about. He also loves Zoboomafoo which I am thrilled with because it is so educational and is fun for me to watch as well, it is all about all kinds of animals domestic and exotic. Griffin is almost 7 years old and I hope that by the time he is at an age where he is social that he has gotten over his Teletubbies craze, not to worry though because it is not as though he carries them around everywhere.

I just hope that at some point Griffin will be interested in age-appropriate characters and will talk about things that are interesting to his typical peers when the time comes. I guess that I shouldn't get ahead of myself and worry about the future, it is not as though I worry per se but it does cross my mind once in awhile.

It is official but not quite complete but.............I am a student again! I will be taking courses from an online university and majoring in English so that one day I can finally finish writing that book that I have been working on for quite some time. I am thrilled to be intellectually stimulated again and to be studying my all time favorite subject. It has been since I was 21 years old that I have attended a university and I am a firm believer that it is never too late to go back to school. It may take me awhile but I shall savor every moment of it. To begin with I am going to take it easy because of course I will still be home schooling Griffin so I need to know how much I can handle while doing both. Certainly it will be a challenge but I am so ready for it and I feel confident that the more work I have the harder I will try and the more that I will accomplish.

The weather is just perfect somewhere in the lower 60's windy and sunny with the leaves falling all around and I just love it! This is truly my favorite time of the year. I love wearing my sweaters and having the wind blow through my hair, it is so exhilirating.

Griffin's handwriting is coming along nicely and he is staying in the lines much much better. There is now a distinct difference between his upper and lower case letters and his handwriting is much more ledgible as well. He still loves drawing and takes advantage of every opportunity to do so. I have found that he is not so easily frustrated lately when doing his work and is able to sit for a wee bit longer per session of learning. We still take breaks of course but he isn't as eager to hop up and announce that it is time for a break so much anymore. My little guy is growing up and maturing more and more each day.

Oh yes, I am feeling way better today that I have been since my surgery and it is day 10. I actually ate two small pieces of pizza and was so excited to eat some "normal" food again. Today I am not watching the clock and wondering when I can take another pain killer so that my mouth would stop hurting, the meds are not as necessary today which is wonderful! Can't wait for Thanksgiving so I can really eat some great food and also to spend some time with my family from North Carolina.

OMG! IT HURTS! It's Been 5 Days Already!

I was under the impression that things would get better and that with time I would feel better but NOOOOOOOOOO!

I feel as bad today as I did the moment I woke up from surgery after the pain meds began to wear off. And what's worse is that the pain is now in my ears as well. So now it feels as though I have full blown ear infections and a butchered throat. Yes, I am being a complainer right now and I realize that it is not going to help me feel any better but what the heck, what else have I got to do? So if there's anyone out there who needs to have a tonsillectomy, I highly recommend that you take lots of time off of work and make sure that you have someone who is going to help you out and nurture you through the entire process. And believe me...........the pain medication does NOT work!

Okay, that's enough...........I am finished with my whining and shall retire to bed, lie down and watch some TV.

Things are going relatively well but Griffin has been exceptionally upset that his mommy is not feeling well and that things are so different. It is really difficult to talk, especially in the evening so when he had his meltdown I had to just step aside until he calmed down so that we could discuss what was bothering him. Of course he couldn't come up with the words to describe how he was feeling and why so I gave him his meds and I laid down waiting for my anxiety medication to kick in. Then I finally got him to climb into bed and snuggle and now he is asleep.

I do not know if I need to increase his meds or not because his meltdowns are becoming more frequent lately and he is losing control of himself again. There is no talking to him when he is so much beside himself so I just have to take a few deep breaths and hang on until he is able to get a hold of himself.......then we talk.

It just amazes me how much going under anesthesia can wear out a body for several days and I suppose that the stress that surgery puts on the body is a major contributor to the fatigue and lethargy. I just wish that I could sleep more because that is what I need the most of in order to bounce back more quickly. There were some complications during the surgery, apparently I bled out pretty bad and the doctors were concerned that they would have to give me a transfusion. My blood pressure was so extremely high that they kept me overnight in the hospital, everything that they tried wouldn't help so they gave me some phenegran for sleep but I kept waking up in excuciating pain. Nowdays they are very strict about how often pain meds are given so.........I was just so happy to get home and to put it all behind me and hopefully soon I will be able to do all the things that I am accustomed to doing each day.

Surgery Today.......Yipee!

Not looking forward to the pain! Granted, it is merely a tonsillectomy but I have heard nothing but horror stories about how bad it is going to hurt and how much longer it takes an adult to recover compared to a child. One point that was brought to my attention is that I will probably lose weight since I will be getting all of my nutrition through a straw and if that is true then it will all be worth it and perhaps it will help make the pain more bearable.

Guess I will be sleeping a lot and I am hoping that it won't be long before I am able to sit here at the computer and communicate with my friends because I truly doubt that I will feel like talking on the phone. I am so grateful that mom is able to help me with Griffin because if we were in Anchorage I don't think that I would be able to have the surgery.

I hope that Griffin will have an understanding of what is going on, that mommy needs to sleep because she is not feeling well. I am sure that mom will be able to help him to understand that mommy is not able to play with him or to take him places. Of course I will explain it to him again later before I go in and I certainly hope that he doesn't get upset because the sweet little guy has such a huge heart and we both are so very close, especially now that we have been home schooling.

It is so strange, that little twinge in my chest that lets me know that there is a certain degree of apprehension, as much as I try to not feel it...........it remains. It is just an outpatient procedure and really quite routine for the doctor but every time that I go under anesthesia it does tend to make me a bit nervous. I do not plan on going anywhere for a very long time because there is a higher purpose in my life and nobody can do it like I do!