Griffin In The Snow

This picture is for Big Brother. He wanted to see the snow in Alaska so here is Griffin in the snow out on our deck. I will be taking more pictures before we leave because as much as I hate driving in it I sure am going to miss the snow. Maybe we will make a snowman for you Big Brother. How would you like that?

Nothing going on really, just being a hermit as usual in the winter and getting my packing done, throwing away a lot, and have tons of stuff to donate. I do have a funny story to share about something that Griffin said at school, Kathleen told me about it yesterday. She said that they have been taking their lunches from the lunchroom and into the classroom to eat and that the milk is taken away from the children at the beginning of the meal so that the kids don't fill up on milk before they have a chance to eat. So, the kids were walking into the classroom with their meals/milk and Griffin looked up at Ed (the teacher's aide) and declared, "Why don't you take my milk, Ed!" and Ed replied, "Well, I think I will Griffin thank you!" so Griffin said, "No problem". For Griffin to use language like that is amazing, that's what makes it so funny. He just seems so mature when he talks like that and I am so proud of him.

Griffin is doing very well, his vocabulary has expanded over the last few weeks and he is beginning to ask questions such as: What are you doing? Why not? and What's that? This is great progress for him and I am very proud that he has made such improvement lately.

I am, on the otherhand, kind of a mess during the day when there is so much to do. There are things to pack, throw away, and donate. There are errands to run, places to go and phone calls to make. I just feel so overwhelmed even though I have a list that I check off as I go I still wonder how the heck I am going to get everything done in time for the move. I am hoping to be out of here by December 1st but somehow a month just doesn't seem like long enough to get all these things done. Does anyone know how I feel? Have you had to move in a short period of time and felt overwhelmed? I would love to hear from you and read your stories about moving, it would be a most pleasant distraction and a great source of support for me.

We got our first snow today, not much just a dusting of snow, and I look forward to getting a huge load of it before we have to leave because I am going to miss it. We won't be seeing any snow in S.C. that's for sure but there may be a teensy bit of it in N.C. when I go up to visit my brother and sister there. Unlike southcental Alaska (Anchorage) the snow is very wet in N.C. when they do get it and it is bitter cold because of the moisture in the air but here in Alaska it is quite dry and when it gets way down on the thermometer it doesn't feel so cold. Of course there are people who would beg to differ but for me it is easily tolerated with just a sweater and a jacket.

Tagged!

1.Things that scare me
-Griffin being hurt/taken by someone
-Falling into water while in a car
-Griffin getting loose from me and running into traffic

2.People who make me laugh
-Griffin
-Mom
-Dad

3.Things I hate the most
-People chewing with their mouths open
-Exhaust fumes
-Being depressed

4.Things I don't understand
-Lack of compassion
-How someone could harm a child
-Griffin's babble

5.Things I am doing right now
-Watching the dog and cat play together
-Listening to the news
-Missing Griffin, he just got on the bus, but enjoying the peacefulness.

6.Things I want to do before I die
-To own at least one horse
-Make sure that Griffin is set for life
-Grow very old

7.Things I can do
-Multi-task
-Paint
-Sculpt

8.Ways to describe my personality
-Considerate
-Loving
-Flexible

9.Things I can't do
-Listen to someone talk to me while the t.v. is on
-Sing
-Eat pork, I'm allergic to it

10.Things I think that you should listen to
-The crickets on a summer's night
-Elderly people
-Your children

11.Things you should never listen to
-Gossip
-Negative self-talk
-Propaganda

12.Things I'd like to learn
-How to write a book
-More foreign languages
-More and more about Griffin & autism

13.Favorite foods
-Anything/everything Greek
-My mom's potato salad
-Godiva ice cream

14.Beverages I drink regularly
-Water
-Coffee
-Red wine

15.Shows I watched as a kid
-The Flintstones
-The Brady Bunch
-Starsky and Hutch

16.Persons I am tagging to do this meme
-Tina
-Christina
-Melissa H.

Top 10 Terrific Traits of Autistic People

If you're sick of hearing about all the "deficits" challenging people on the autism spectrum, join the club! But for every down side to autism, there seems to be a positive -- an unusual trait that rarely appears among the "typical" community, but shines out among autistic folk. These plusses are well worth celebrating.

1) Autistic People Rarely Lie
We all claim to value the truth, but almost all of us tell little white lies. All, that is, except people on the autism spectrum. To them, truth is truth -- and a good word from a person on the spectrum is the real deal.
2) People on the Autism Spectrum Live in the Moment
How often do typical people fail to notice what's in front of their eyes because they're distracted by social cues or random chitchat? People on the autism spectrum truely attend to the sensory input that surrounds them. Many have achieved the ideal of mindfulness.
3) People with Autism Rarely Judge Others
Who's fatter? Richer? Smarter? For people on the autism spectrum, these distinctions hold much less importance than for typical folks. In fact, people on the spectrum often see through such surface appearances to discover the real person.
4) Autistic People are Passionate
Of course, not all autistic people are alike. But many are truly passionate about the things, ideas and people in their lives. How many "typical" people can say the same?
5) People with Autism Are Not Tied to Social Expectations
If you've ever bought a car, played a game or joined a club to fit in, you know how hard it is to be true to yourself. But for people with autism, social expectations can be honestly irrelevant. What matters is true liking, interest and passion -- not keeping up with the Joneses.
6) People with Autism Have Terrific Memories
How often do typical people forget directions, or fail to take note of colors, names, and other details? People on the autism spectrum are often much more tuned in to details. They may have a much better memory than their typical peers for all kind of critical details.
7) Autistic People Are Less Materialistic
Of course, this is not universally true -- but in general, people with autism are far less concerned with outward appearance than their typical peers. As a result, they worry less about brand names, hairstyles and other expensive but unimportant externals than most people do.
8) Autistic People Play Fewer Head Games
Who was that woman, and why were you looking at her? I know I TOLD you I didn't mind if you went out, but why did you believe me? Most autistic people don't play games like these -- and they assume that you won't either. It's a refreshing and wonderful change from the Peyton Place emotional roller coaster that mars too many typical relationships!
9) Autistic People Have Fewer Hidden Agendas
Most of the time, if a person on the autism spectrum tells you what he wants -- he is telling you what he wants. No need to beat around the bush, second guess, and hope you're reading between the lines!
10) People with Autism Open New Doors for Neurotypicals
For some of us neurotypicals, having an autistic person in our lives has had a profound positive impact on our perceptions, beliefs and expectations. For me, at least, being the mom of a son on the autism spectrum has released me from a lifetime of "should" -- and offered me a new world of "is."
By: Lisa Jo Rudy

Today Was A Good Day

Just a short post to let you know that today was a good day, the sun was shining and I came into some money that I didn't expect to get and now I can buy the S.A.D. light that I so desperately need. Griffin is doing great as well and I think that he senses when I am feeling better because he seems so much happier. Maybe it's just my perception of the situation that comes into play but I could swear that he was squirrelly today because mommy was in such a great mood. He didn't do much in speech today because he had a hard time focusing but hey, he is allowed to have his off days too and I am just grateful that he is such a happy kiddo most all the time. I notice that when I am depressed and having a bad day that he tends to act out a bit more but if I talk to him and keep my wits about me then he will straighten up. Anyhow, I wanted to thank all of you for your great support and all your kind words, it helps me even more than you could ever know. There's a rough road ahead of me and I know that I can get through it because of you! I love you guys! Take care, and have a great day!

Depression Had Kicked IN

If you look closely you can see the snow on the mountain tops and it is just a matter of time before it gets down here. We have had so much rain and gloom that it has kicked in my depression early this year. On top of that, it is getting really dark earlier and earlier. I wake up and it's dark and that is depressing! My ANP (Advanced Nurse Practioner) told me that I am not a candidate for anti-depressants because of all the undesirable reactions/side effects that I have had in the past. So this year I am winging it and I am on my own with my depression. She recommended that I get a S.A.D. light but the darn things are just too expensive, I simply cannot afford one right now. So, wish me luck and cross your fingers for me that I don't end up in the Crisis Treatment Center like I did last year. I just can't wait to move gosh darnit! I sure do wish that I would hear something from Social Security soon. It is way past the deadline for a hearing but who knows, they do things in their own time not when ya want it or need it to happen. For those of you who may not have read my previous posts, I applied for SSDI and am awaiting a hearing and we're fast approaching the 2 year mark. I just want to be near my family and to feel happy again and I am NOT looking forward to seeing the snow. It rained all frickin' summer and now it is already in the low to mid 40's and will be freezing very soon. If it seems like I am complaining then you would have guessed it correctly because I feel like hell and I desperately want to feel good again. I wish you all a great day and hopefully the sun is shining where you are. Sorry for the gloomy mood I wish that I could just switch it off :(

Swimming for the First Time

This is a picture of Griffin petting the little piglets at the Alaska State Fair's petting zoo. I think that he had a grand time on that day, I will be showing more photos in the next few posts. Griffin had swimming on Friday at OT and on Saturday's swim lesson at one of our local high schools. Both times he did a great job going under the water and jumping into the pool with no fear whatsoever. At OT he actually "swam" for the very first time all by himself. It's true that he was just treading water but he did it without any kind of assistance, no floatation device or anything! Gayle let go of him and he smiled and paddled his legs and arms like crazy trying desperately to keep his head above water and he did and I am so very proud of him. Griffin has been getting hyper after swimming lately and I cannot figure out why. It is unusual for him to become so full of energy in the evening and one would think that he would be tired after swimming but it seems to invigorate him. Does anyone have any idea why this might happen? Along with the extra energy that he has he also misbehaves by getting into everything and driving mommy bonkers. As a rule Griffin is a mellow sort of guy who typically behaves and plays nicely on his own but when he is "energized" he bounces off the walls and leaves no stone unturned, always looking for something to get into. I welcome any ideas or comments that you might have about why this might happen and what I might try to do to help him through it. Have a great day all of you and thanks for your comments!!!!

Occupational Therapy with Gayle

Griffin loves his numbers so much that he has had to fall asleep with them. Today was OT with Gayle and I think that Griffin had a blast. First, there was movement where Griffin went down a slide on a scooterboard 5 times then he got to play a Teletubbie's floor game followed by a snack of one fuzzy peach. Finally there was the crafts where Griffin got to put paint all over his forearm in order to paint a tree trunk and then all over his hands to make the leaves, now with this he really had a good time........there was paint everywhere, hee hee. The really nice part is that Griffin seemed to listen to Gayle really well and mostly because she has a way of talking to him that helps him to understand and comply. So, Gayle, you are our hero and we love you very much. Thank you for helping Griffin to progress so nicely with each and every session. Oh yes and what else is really cool is that Gayle continued with the WH questions and asked Griffin some WHY questions like, "Why do you have a mouth (ears, eyes, nose, etc.....)?" and he answered most of them but the important part is that she is continuing on with what the SLP is working on because she had read it on the blog. Hugs to you Gayle!!!!!!

WH questions

This is really simple but a big deal to me.......When the SLP was asking Griffin WH questions he was doing okay especially on the What and Who but the When and Why questions were much more challenging. What impressed me the most is the one Why question that he did answer, "Why do butterflies have wings?" he promptly replied, "So they can fly!" I am just thrilled with that!!! Yes it was only one Why question and answer but he met the challenge head on and conquered it! YEAH Griffin, you're my little champ!

Results of my sleep study/Dick and Jane

As it turns out the hypersomnia (excessive daytime sleepiness) that I have is the results of my medication, the doc said that I am taking way too much (twice the recommended dosage) because the sleep study showed that I am getting adequet sleep and do not have obstructive sleep apnea. The nap study showed that I am indeed excessively sleepy during the day because it took me only an average of 6 minutes to go to sleep/nap. So, I will go to see my ANP on Tuesday and adjust my medication and see if we can nip this stuff in the bud.

While we were shopping I picked up a Dick and Jane book to see if Griffin could read it and sure enough he was reading it like a pro, no real surprise there but he read it with such fluency now, THAT surprised me! I couldn't decide whether I should get it or not but finally figured that if he read it with such ease then he would likely get bored with it so I didn't get it. Besides, I am not sure that he was understanding what he was reading which is equally as important as the reading is. Maybe I will look for something that is a bit more challenging and has more meaning to it that is relevant to his life/living. I believe that a book that talks about practical everyday stuff would have more meaning than "Help Jane Help, Help, Help." Some of the pharses were relevant to his life but in general it wasn't. If anyone has a suggestion of a book or books that would be useful and have relevant words in it I would greatly appreciate it. I am thinking about just writing a book with words about his day to day life and throwing in some really challenging words here and there.

Take care my friends and hope that you have a splendid day!!!!

I just got back from my sleep study and haven't found out anything yet. I have an appointment on Thursday with the doctor to find out the results. I will keep you posted. It was really weird because I had to take a nap every two hours during the day and I was still dozing off while sitting in the chair watching television. It's quite perplexing so, we shall see how it goes. Hope that everyone has a great weekend and I'll try to keep the blog current and let you know what's going on. Griffin is doing great. He has been saying "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome" almost all the time now, it's so cute.

Going in for a Sleep Study

I am going in tomorrow night to have a sleep study done because I have been having excessive daytime sleepiness for months now maybe even years but my memory is so poor that I don't even remember how long it's been. Whenever I read no matter how alert I am I still fall asleep. I don't mean that I fall asleep and then take a nap, it's like I fall asleep for just a few seconds and then wake up and then it just keeps happening over and over. When I sit for a period of time and even when I am talking to someone it happens then too. I hope that it makes sense how I explained it. Anyhow, it is potentially dangerous because it has happened when I was driving too so I am finally having this sleep study done to determine if I have Narcolepsy or not. I hope that I don't because the only treatment for it is essentially "speed" or amphetimines whatever you want to call them. I can't take those kinds of meds because I am bipolar and it would only enhance my mania. Hopefully it is just a side effect of my medication but there is the possiblity that I have Narcolepsy because my aunt was just diagnosed with it but I don't know if it is hereditary or not. The only time that it doesn't happen is when I am standing up but otherwise I get sleepy as if someone has just tranquilized me and I am fighting it off. So wish me luck with that. Griffin is doing great and just completed his testing in speech. Both Lisa and I were amazed at his receptive language and how well he answered open ended questions. I sure will miss him while I am at the sleep study because it will be one night and a full day on Friday but it has to be done before we move because I don't know if medicaid will cover something like that in South Carolina. Still no word on my disability hearing, just waiting it out.

Spelling Like Nobody's Business

Griffin has been spelling like crazy and here he has spelled "Stomp, (The name of the show which I think was on Broadway), Sesame Stret DVD and vedeo" then he spelled "Entertainment" on a sheet of paper he wrote, "Barney Can you sing that song?" complete with the question mark. I'm so proud of my little genius.......What else can I say?

We Are Moving

I have thought about it long and hard and finally come to the conclusion that we are in fact going to move to South Carolina to be with my family. It was not an easy decision to make because Griffin is getting some of the best education that he could possibly have in the nation here. Kathleen has been such an awesome teacher and I just know that wherever we go that nothing will compare to what she has done for him. I could be wrong, and I hope that I am, but it's just a feeling that I have. Nevertheless, what's most important at this point in time is that we are close to our family and have the support that is so desperately needed. I don't want a repeat of last December when I had to go to the Crisis Treatment Center because my depression had gotten so bad. My mental health is tantamount to his education because I have to take care of myself before I can be a good mother to Griffin. As much as I love Alaska, and it will be a sad day indeed, I must leave here because the weather and the lack of sunlight in the winter just gets me down too bad. Not that it is going to be all peachy keen to move to SC because it's not my ideal climate either. The summers will be exceptionally difficult for me because of the heat and the humidity but at least it won't trigger my depression. With age Griffin is becoming more and more difficult to deal with and I am increasingly having a hard time caring for him in the manner in which he needs to be. Because of his meltdowns and doing the limp noodle and refusing to leave the apartment it is not just a source of frustration but a major obstacle in our daily routine. It seems as though I am trying to justify our leaving and this is not my intention because I feel like, in my heart and soul, this is truly the best decision for not just me but also for Griffin in the long and short term. Between my parents and I we can supplement his schooling with homework and hopefully with private OT and Speech. I don't know how good the medicaid system is down there but I am hoping that it will be comparable although I have heard that it is not even. It will be at least 2-3 months before we will be able to move so that I have plenty of time to get things organized and send items down there ahead of time. Also I am waiting for my disability hearing for Social Security and I don't know if it will be favorable or not but either way we are moving. Griffin will adjust quite easily and quickly I believe because he did so well when we went down there in April for a visit. I'm following my intuition on this and I have a good feeling about it.

Problems with Blogger and Page Loading

I am afraid that something is wrong with my blog and my page loading properly. This entry is a test to see if I can get my page to load properly. Leave me a comment on whether or not you were able to get the page to load. Thanks for helping me out. Maybe I have too many photos because I only have 138 entries and the limit is 999 so I don't understand what the problem is. Thanks again for leaving me a comment and hope you have a great day.

Pictures of Griffin

Griffin had a great first day of school according to Kathleen (his teacher) and mommy had a great day too. It certainly helped that the sun was out all day and that we had NO RAIN!!! Here are some really great pictures of Griffin, I especially like them because they are black and white. I like the one on the bottom because it shows Griffin's goofy side being a ham for the camera and the top one I am particularly proud of because it just turned out great. Photography is a hobby of mine and having a great subject such as Griffin sure makes it easier to get some really good pics. That's all for now, hope everyone is having a splendid day.

A Picture of Me

My dear friend Tina had once mentioned that she wondered what I looked like so here you go Tina, a picture of me. This is me in Greece, I have no makeup on so you get what I really look like all natural. It's the only picture of me that I have that I am halfway happy with that shows the real me. Sure, I have pictures of me with makeup on looking a might better than this but since you are all my friends then I felt that I should be myself and show you my likeness unadulterated. So, for all of you who are reading this consider yourself tagged and let's see a picture of you. C'mon, it will be fun to do.

Griffin had OT on Wednesday and had a major meltdown throughout most of the session but once it was over he was fine. His behavior has been stellar here at home especially since it has been raining for so long and we have had to stay indoors to play. Of course we go out to take Abby but Griffin has to sit in the car while I walk her around the car at the park so that's no fun for him. Considering the amount of time that we have had to spend indoors he has been a happy little camper and playing beautifully with his toys, spelling with his magnetic letters and blocks, writing and drawing on his chalkboard, and of course singing and dancing to the music. Stephanie (the respite provider) has stayed with Griffin some for me and I have been able to run about and do some errands, thank goodness. Thank you Stephanie. School begins on Monday and as much as I have enjoyed spending time with him I do so look forward to having time to myself on a regular basis. Not only that but I am always very happy for him to have time away from me and in a different learning environment with lots of new stim each day.

Hope you are having a great day! Thanks for reading our blog and sharing in our day to day life, I'll be by to see you and visit your blog as soon as I can.

Things have been getting better lately for us. I tried the techniques that all my dear friends had recommended and they all worked!!!! I tried the bribery with the tiny M&M's which worked well because I would give him them immediately after he accomplished what I had told him to do for example putting on his shoes and jacket and going out the door. I would give him one with the completion of each task and he liked that of course and I did too because it made things go so smoothly. When he did the limp noodle bit I told him that I would drag him or he could walk and he still laid there on the floor so I dragged him out the door but the next challenge is getting him down a flight of stairs. So, I just waited until he at least sat on the top step and helped him to slide down on his rump. This did become quite tricky because at times he would manuver such that it would throw me off balance and I almost fell down the stairs. So, we are working on that part. I tried making a game out of it but he was already in meltdown mode and didn't want to laugh and play at that moment. The dragging worked great even though he made it look like I was torturing him horribly or like he was being a spoiled brat having a fit over something and let me tell you, that is how I felt. I felt like my child was being a brat and I nearly cried because I felt like I was being manipulated like a marionette. A puppet on a string is what it feels like lately and I must gain control over these situations. I also tried the : you do ___ and then you get____. I tried the: you do____ and you get to go to____ and it didn't work quite as well as I would have liked. I told him that if went out the door and to the car then we could go to (one of his favorite stores ie...Wal-Mart or Fred Meyers) but maybe my timing was off but he didn't respond to that as well. Funny thing is that it works for his teacher at school, of course. That is exactly what she recommended that I do when he does the limp noodle bit. Maybe he just knows that he can push my buttons and mommy will nearly cry and eventually attempt to carry him out the door. It's as though he gets some enjoyment out of me carrying him out the door and waiting for him to get down the stairs and then dragging him to the car. My higher thinking tells me that he is not enjoying any part of it any more than I am. I believe that this situation is a work in progress and I know that I have got to teach him that mommy's buttons are not going to be pushed and that he cannot manipulate me anymore! That said, I am going to continue to work on ME because I am the teacher and it is up to me to do what is best for him and for ME.
I greatly appreciate all the suggestions and I will continue to listen to them and to you, my friends, because that's what this whole blog thing is for me a network of friends helping one another.
As far as the sleeping goes, I started him back on the melatonin and it is helping him sleep through the night but I still give him the 1/2 Clonidine because the doctor told me that the Clonidine is supposed to be safer than anything else but I can't help but wonder that if it is so darn safe then why isn't it an over-the-counter drug like Benadryl. I should have asked him that but didn't think of it at the time. I am going to call him tomorrow and ask him or ask my pharmacist. Oh, by the way, the Calm Child did help to calm him down but didn't seem to help him sleep through the night. I will keep them on hand for days when he is feeling overwhelmed and perhaps a bit too energetic and bouncing off the walls.

Sleep Difficulty and Not Leaving the Apartment

I have decided that I would just take a break from giving Griffin the melatonin for about a week and see what happens when we start it back. I have been told that it should help make a difference. I went to the local health foods store and talked to the owner and she was quite helpful in that she recommended this tablet called Calm Child that has a mixture of several different herbs and vitamins/minerals in it to promote calmness (is that a word?). Anyhow, it does seem to help calm him before bed though it doesn't knock him out or rather help him to get sleepy. I have been enjoying some respite as Stephanie has been coming each evening and watching Griffin for me. I haven't done anything that great but it is just nice to have some alone time and peace and quiet outside the home. Griffin went to swimming yesterday and did a great job. I was just grateful that I got him out of the apartment because I have had some difficulty in getting him to leave the apartment lately. He does the limp noodle and he is too big for me to be able to pick him up and move him so for 2 days in a row he didn't leave the apartment. I have tried everything literally and could not get him to cooperate. I would appreciate any suggestions because maybe you can think of something that I haven't tried. I was able to get him out of the apartment this morning to go to my therapy session. It seems that it is easy to get him out of here if it is first thing in the morning before he is engaged in play but once he is into something I can just about forget trying to take him out of the apartment. I hope that this trend will end soon and that I can get him intersted in the reinforcers that I used to use that once worked. Tomorrow we have speech in the morning and OT in the afternoon so I am pretty sure that I can get him out in the morning and once we are out I will just stay out until it is time for OT. I will keep you posted.

Mommy's Feeling Much Better!

I was feeling so bad last week that I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to feel good again, didn't even think that it was possible. After talking with my ANP we had decided that to lower my nighttime meds (Seroquel) by 100 mg. should help me out quite a bit with my excessive daytime sleepiness and after several days it has helped me tremendously!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am very pleased to report that I am feeling much better, refreshed, and my mood is way better than before. No more feeling weird or like I am on drugs, just feeling "normal" with more patience and a happy attitude to boot. Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement they helped me through a rough spot and made life much more bearable for me.
Saturday I got to have some much needed "alone time" and that helped me out as well because Kathleen kept Griffin for me for 7 hours. Thank you so much Kathleen, you were a life saver for me and I don't know what I would have done without you.
On Sunday Griffin was full of energy and did very well all during the day but come evening he was still full of it and had a real hard time settling down. I couldn't get him to cooperate with me in taking Abby out for her evening walk nor could I get him to calm down enough to get sleepy and ready for bed. It seems lately that the melatonin has not been helping much at all so I skipped it and gave him the Clonidine instead. Well, he ended up fighting it pretty hard and he stayed up until almost midnight and my nerves were a wreck. I have got to do some research and find out if I can use more than 5 mg. of the melatonin so that I don't have to give him the Clonidine anymore because I hate giving him drugs. Does anyone know if it is safe to give a 4 year old more than 5 mg. of melatonin? Everyone, have a great and blessed day!