HBO Movie Online

http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/autism/video/

I was so inspired by this movie and greatly appreciated that it featured children from all over the spectrum and didn't focus on what they could not do but instead showed the gifts that each and every one had. I am sure that it took a great deal of hard work to put it all together but I found it to be reassuring and comforting to know that other parents go through the same intense emotions that I do and that we all share the same fears for our children's future.

If you do nothing else today please watch this film to the end and I feel certain that you will have a great big smile on your face and your heart will feel that much bigger and you may end up with a few tears in your eyes. I don't know how long HBO will make this film available online so watch it now and do not hesitate or put it off until another time, films like this simply do not come along often.

Griffin is feeling waaaaay better and has his happy camper smile and laughter going again and I am so very happy. For some reason he woke up at 2:00 a.m. and couldn't or wouldn't go back to sleep. I did my very best to stay awake but the medicine that I take for sleep made it exceptionally difficult to not doze off, I struggled to remain alert and to be aware of what was going on, Griffin always stays in the bedroom with me when he gets up like this and he is constantly attempting to rouse me and get me to wake up enough to carry on conversation with him. I finally got up for good at 5:00 and was able to get Griffin to snuggle with me and we watched the Sprout channel, he kept telling me jokes, and we ate some cereal together. Literally all day long Griffin showed no signs whatsoever of being fatigued and went to sleep tonight at about 8:30. We had a wonderful day even without going outside of the house, it was just a lazy day with lots of laughter and snuggling (which is my all time favorite thing to do with him). I am so very fortunate that he is affectionate and I hope that for us that never changes.

If it doesn't rain this weekend then I plan to take Griffin to the park or parking lot of his school so that he can ride his bike and get some much needed exercise........for both of us. Have a beautiful weekend and don't forget to watch the movie, in fact, watch it with your loved ones and send the link to everyone you know whether they understand autism or not they will get a glimpse into what you experience in your life both alone and with your child and even with your partner/spouse.

NO, NO, NO.........Not Strep AGAIN!

I just found out yesterday that Griffin has strep once again!! I didn't even know that he was sick because he never complained once about his throat or anything else hurting whatsoever. I was taking him to see the doctor because he has sleep apnea and he snores quite loudly seeming to not have quality sleep at all, also he has been having behavior issues at school which I now know is most likely because he was feeling so bad. Just to err on the side of caution, I asked for a referral to a ENT so that we can find out if he is having any problems with his adnoids/tonsils because he has been snoring for around a year or so and his sleep apnea is getting worse with time. It may be that he is going to school tired since he may not be getting quality sleep. Between Griffin having strep and also having ear problems I am beginning to think that if the doctor (ENT) recommends that he have his tonsils or adnoids out that it might be best because I hate for him to keep on taking antibiotics besides, it is nearly impossible to get him to take his meds because it is so challenging to get the medicine in food without him tasting it. Each time that he has gotten a bacterial infection he absolutely refused to take his medicine and he ended up having to get the Rosephin shots which is not a good thing because I don't want him to compromise his immune system and have drug resistant bacteria. I am and never have been a big fan of antibiotics in the first place but I truly doubt that I could get him to take the herbs that I take for infection.

Griffin has been talking a lot more at home but a good bit of it is difficult to understand and something really cool that he has been doing is that he loves to tell jokes that he has made up all on his own. Often he will start laughing before he gets out his punch line........he is so adorable. Lately I have noticed that Griffin is using words to describe how he feels and he is using the words appropriately to express himself which is quite significant for him. Even though he is having behavior issues at school he has been doing pretty well at home and out in public with only a few meltdowns per month.........what a great relief!

My sweet and loving little guy still wants a kitty because he misses our kitty that we had in Alaska "Pisgah" who now lives with my dear friend who still resides there. Almost daily he asks if we can go to the animal shelter to get a kitty and it breaks my heart to have to tell him that we cannot (because my dad won't allow it) but that maybe in the future we can do that. He is such an affectionate little guy and I count my blessings each and everyday.

Have a great day everyone!

OMG, I Had Such An Awesome Time But.........

Just a quick entry to let everyone know that I had an awesome time in Seattle with my very special friends but at the same time I am absolutely elated that I am back home with my special little guy who I missed tremendously.

Everything is going well although Griffin said his ear is popping and I just hope that it doesn't mean that he is about to have another ear infection. He was exceptionally mellow yesterday during speech and OT and also this morning so I am concerned that he is not feeling well.

I haven't transferred the pics from my trip yet but as soon as I do I will post them so you can see a bit of what we did and see how much fun we were having.

I will write again soon, I hope that you all are doing well and having a great day!

Off To See Queensryche Live In Concert!!!!!!!!

I am so excited about going to see my dear friends and going to see Queensryche in concert and the brunch that we are attending the day of the concert where we get to see the band and schmooze with them for a few hours getting pictures and autographs too. I am going to attempt to talk to Geoff Tate the lead singer, about considering doing a concert or some kind of charity event for autism. I am going to the brunch prepared with a few relevant facts so that I can say a lot in a short period of time. Wish me luck on that one.

I will be traveling all across the country, about 3000.00 miles just to get to where I am going no matter how long the flight it will NOT be nearly as bad as the trip from Alaska was. I am going to miss my precious little guy, life will NOT be as wonderful and filled with his smiles and laughter each day.................don't know how I will handle it myself but I am trying to be positive about it all. I will surely miss his infectious laugh and contagious smile each day but for me to do this is a really big thing since it is for my pleasure and I do feel guilty for leaving him. This is the only time that I have taken a trip all on my own without it being "necessary" such as the trip to Alaska for the trial. Mom and dad have both given me their blessings for going and let me know that they are both doing perfectly fine.........healthwise, and that it will not be a problem for either of them. I would not even consider going if not for their blessings and reassurance that all is well with them and that Griffin will be cared for with no difficulties. Mom is a very strong woman who loves Griffin dearly and she does far better with him during meltdowns and she can talk him out of any given situation and get him to listen to her every time. It is that "Nana" magic I guess.

If mom or dad feels that I need to come back they have let me know in no uncertain terms that they will call me immediately to let me know that I need to come home. They both are confident that that will not be the case at all so I will leave with the trust and respect of their judgment and sound decisions as adults with sound minds to make such choices for themselves and for Griffin.

Love you guys, you know who you are.....my special friends. Hugs to you and yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please keep me in your thoughts and send lots of positive vibes my way so that I can fully enjoy my trip. I could sure use your support in this matter. Also keep Griffin, mom, and dad in your thoughts and send them positive vibes too...............especially Griffin because this change may well effect him and cause him to have meltdowns and I certainly do not want him to feel lost without me. I will be calling him several times a day to let him know how long I will be gone, mom can help him to mark off the days on the calender, and let him know how much I love him.

Please feel free to leave your comments, questions, and advice concerning this trip but I am leaving on the 26th so I need to hear from you right away. Thanks for all of you who are so near and dear to my heart, those of you who have mine and Griffin's best interest in mind and who also have us in your heart. Hugs to my special friends from both of us.

It's a Beautiful Day

I tried several times to upload an image to this entry but for some reason it is not working properly, this is the first time that it has ever happened so I don't know how to fix it.

Griffin is doing great and getting back into his usual routine, there's been no whining and he has learned to be nice and use his manners in order to get what he wants. I am so happy that it seems to be wearing off and he is improving how he copes with uncomfortable situations. I am still going to make an appointment with the child behavior expert for future reference so if it or some other behavior rears its ugly head then I will be prepared and have the tools that I need to deal with it.

Griffin is doing what he did in Anchorage during the winter, he is wanting to stay inside all day and it is still difficult to get him out of the house to go play, to go shopping, or just to go for a walk. It is very isolating and it concerns me that he is not motivated to do something different. I must confess that I have been guilty of isolating myself especially during the wintertime in Alaska due to weather conditions and the degree of difficulty in dealing with how much trouble it was to get dressed and clean off the car and ultimately dealing with driving in dangerous conditions. Since being in the south I have not isolated myself and I usually make great effort to get Griffin active and at least going for a ride in the car for awhile, I love driving my Volvo and it is so nice to get out of the house for awhile.

Today and for the past few days, the weather is sunny and warm (in the 60's) and it is just perfect for going to the playground so that is my goal for the day...............to go run, swing, and play and maybe feeding the ducks and geese.

I have been taking a new medicine for Fibromyalgia and it has helped me to have much more energy but I still have quite a bit of pain, can't remember if I have mentioned that or not so sorry if I am repeating myself. I will ask my doctor if we can increase the dosage a bit to see if it helps me more.

Have a wonderful day!

Whining and Not Being a Good Listener

Griffin is having a hard time today and I cannot get him out of the house to go out to play. I have been getting frustrated with him because he is being so whiny and it is driving me nuts! So he isn't just throwing tantrums but also putting on the tears and yelling at me and giving me orders. I have tried every approach that I know and nothing is working. I have tried the time out approach, being firm and taking away his toys and computer time, being gentle and explaining things to him and giving him a time limit before it is time to go and NONE of these worked. I am at my wits end and sure could use some support, some suggestions at this point in time.

I have even offered to take him to one of his favorite stores just to look around and he said yes once but after that it didn't interest him at all. Please help with any suggestions you might have. I am so very eager to speak to the child behavior expert soon so that I can learn some techniques other than what I have tried.

I woke up at 3:00, 5:00, and at 6:00 this morning and I cannot figure out why I keep waking up. There are times when I get up and eat or do something and when I wake in the morning I find things open or moved that I do not remember doing at all! I once woke up and left the water running in the sink.....thank goodness the drain was open so it didn't get all over the floor. My therapist tells me that it is quite common amongst PTSD survivors to not be aware of what they are doing in the middle of the night, she told me that it has to do with the disassociation that the survivors experience during waking and sleeping hours. All I know is that I have got to stop eating late into the night or I am going to have to buy a whole bunch of new pants.

Ta ta for now, don't forget to laugh whenever the opportunity presents itself!

I Almost Lost My Child Today

I have never been so scared as I was today during Griffin's swimming session, I actually saw my child struggling for his life after he wandered from his OT and ended up in the deep water. I was terrified as I watched his head go under the water as he desperately tried to keep it up. His OT was searching for some toys to play with at the edge of the pool and had instructed Griffin to stay by her side but instead he walked to the deep water without her noticing and I didn't see him until it was nearly too late for him. I stood up and went to the edge of the pool while the OT was trying to visually locate him but she couldn't see him because his head was underwater. I got her attention and pointed to where he was and she immediately went to rescue him. What really pisses me off is that the lifeguard did nothing even though he was right there in front of her. I later complained to the CEO of the YMCA and he said that he would look into the matter.

After we had gotten home I received a call from the supervisor of aquatics and she told me that the lifeguard had done nothing wrong and that she was watching Griffin as he was submerged and struggling for his life of course she didn't admit that the lifeguard could have gone into the pool after him as soon as she saw him go underwater. I almost dove into the water myself as it seemed to me that nobody was doing anything to help him. The supervisor had said that the lifeguard knew that the OT had been helping Griffin work on going underwater so she didn't panic.............What the hell? I responded by reminding them that Griffin was working on that WITH his OT present and not by himself..............Boy did that ever piss me off!!!!!!!!!!! I reminded them that he is only 6 years old and not able to swim on his own and that was the very reason for him to have an OT in the first frickin place!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the reasons that it is so scary for me is that Griffin has no fear of anything and that is the very reason that he wandered off into the deep water and still after the incident he was laughing and smiling through the whole thing. I do not believe that he learned anything from it at all. I most certainly did, that is for sure!!!!!! I will be watching him like a hawk from now on. I know that his OT was scared as well and that it will not happen again. I just wish that the lifeguard and her supervisor had been more responsible and admitted that there could have been something done to help him, I no longer trust them to dive in and help him so I guess that I will have only myself to do something about helping him.

It reminds me of how well I have to watch him around cars because he simply has no fear of traffic and all the dangers of being around cars in parking lots and otherwise. This is why I have a handicapped placard in our car so that I can park close to the stores with less chances of spending much time around the vehicles and less chance of him running off and getting away from me. If your child is a runner then I highly recommend that you get a placard because it does help to manage how much your child exposed to vehicles and it simply just makes more sense.

I went to Griffin's Valentine's party at school and I enjoyed walking around and taking pictures of the children as they sat and ate their goodies and talked to me. Griffin was so happy to see me and he kept acknowledging me and giving me hugs and kisses. I have some pictures that I took that I want to put on the blog but it is getting very late and I must go to bed. There are some great pictures of Griffin that I would love for you to see but it is just going to have to wait until later. Come back soon to visit so that you can see the awesome pictures that I will have posted.

Griffin's Behavior

Griffin came home with a report from his teacher that he was being rude to his peers and stomping and whining all day. I believe that he is still upset about the changes in his routine and because mom and dad are not at home still. I am trying to find a child psychologist or behavior expert so that we can nip this in the bud.

My dad may be home today which would be great so that Griffin can get back into his usual routine and he won't be missing his Nana anymore. He has been having a really hard time with transitions and has a meltdown when we are going anywhere other than home, he even has meltdowns when we go to his favorite places to eat such as McDonald's or Wendy's. I have been trying to help him by explaining things to him but it was all in vain.

Griffin has been really bossy at home and demanding so I am constantly reminding him of his manners and trying to help him ask for what he wants rather than him telling me what to do. It is strange for me now to not have help from my mom in dealing with his undesirable behaviors, it's as if we were back in Anchorage again. It is a reminder for me that I appreciate all the help that I have been getting from my mom since we have lived here. Griffin is too big now to manage so it is only possible to talk to him and it is not possible to pick him up off the floor as he is having a meltdown anymore so I must use my noggin more than ever before in helping him to manage and regulate himself in any given situation.

Time to go to the hospital and see what's going on with my dad, I sure do hope that he gets to come home today for several reasons but it will be nice for mom to be home too because it will really help Griffin regulate his life/actions/and words.

Since I last wrote Griffin has improved significantly and was actually able to go to swimming on the 7th and did an awesome job at being a good listener. He put his face underwater and didn't come up coughing so that was a new milepost for him as far as swimming goes. He had to get 2 shots of Rosephen and was a brave little trooper, he had no fear when we pulled up to the doctor's office because he was focused on watching the local PBS TV station (ETV) and he didn't start to cry until we had to hold him down to get his injection. Soon after the shot he had stopped crying and went on with other things and seemed fine. That is until we got to the school, he became very upset and had a meltdown, his teacher had to come outside the school and get Griffin to go inside............and he did without crying or struggling. I believe that a lot of the reasons for him having meltdowns lately is because he is not in his regular routine and because he wasn't feeling well, he has made a great improvement and has coped with the changes exceptionally well considering all the circumstances.

My dad is doing way better than before, he is eating solid foods, moving around a bit, and speaking much more clearly. I am trying out a new medication (Lyrica) for my fibromyalgia and so far it seems to be helping a lot with the fatigue and with the pain I have all over my body.

I am trying to help Griffin find some semblance of order and routine in his day(s) by letting him stay home for quite awhile so that he can enjoy his down time activities. I will take him to the playground/park to play for awhile since it is so warm and sunny outside even though he is complacent with staying inside right now. I have been cleaning all day and he has been really laid back and happy with what's going on now, I will have to use the McDonald's card in order to get him out of the house because all the other suggestions are not working with him right now.

Hope that you all are well and having a great weekend. Thanks for stopping by to find out what's going on with us, feel free to leave me a comment to let me know that you care for us, it makes me happy to see comments in my inbox.............something to look forward to each day.

Things Are Going Much Better Today

I only have a little while to let you know what's going on with everyone. They took the tube out and my dad is breathing on his own and he still has a great deal of infection and is trying to cough it up, his breathing is labored but at least he is doing it on his own. While I was there today he did open his eyes a few times but it seemed that he wasn't able to focus on our faces, he was just staring out into space. They also took him off of most of the pain meds which I do not understand because he has peripheral neuropathy and as a result has excruciating pain in his feet all the time.

We got a portable cd player and put earphones on him playing his favorite cd's and I am not sure if he enjoys it or not but perhaps he does, it's worth a try. Griffin is doing better today because he went to the doctor yesterday and got a shot of Rosephen and needs to take 5 more days of oral antibiotics because after all this time he still has infection in his ears and congestion in his chest. I let him sleep in this morning because he really needed to rest to help his body heal. He got an award today at school for most improved in science and social studies!!!!! We are all so very proud of him.

I need to go so I can get him to speech and OT so I will try to write again tonight to let you all know how my dad is doing and what's going on with Griffin and me.

A Really Rough Weekend

I am so totally exhausted and so is Griffin because we spent the whole weekend at the hospital where my dad is in CCU (cardiac care unit) he has staph in his whole body but worse in his kidneys, lungs, and his heart. They have rendered him unconscious and intubated him because he wasn't breathing on his own for a couple of days but apparently he is doing better today so they may take the tube out and see if he can breathe on his own.

Griffin has not handled the major changes in the past few days for several reasons but primarily because he is still quite sick and his tolerance is very low. I called the doctor on call but they told me to wait until tomorrow to bring him in to his regular doctor, I didn't agree but who else am I to call? Even though we were there at the hospital I didn't feel like making him sit in the waiting room in the ER to see a doctor and be exposed to even more sickness and germs.

I asked the nurse about exposure to the staph but she didn't give me much information so I am going to strongly encourage Griffin's doctor to draw some blood and make sure that he doesn't have it as well. My dad has been very sick for weeks because he refused to go to the doctor and in that time I do not remember what kind of close contact they have had so I am very concerned. My mom is still very sick and has been for a couple of weeks so I am worried about her too, she has been coughing up blood but will not leave my father's side. I understand why she won't leave my dad because if it were my child I would be the same way that my mom is with my dad. They have been together 45 years and that is quite the strong bond. My mom is a very nurturing mother and wife, she loves to bake treats for the people in her everyday life such as the staff at the pharmacy or her doctor and others who help her in sometimes just small ways. They say that people forget what you say and how you act but what leaves the most lasting impression is how you made them feel and mom makes people feel warm and fuzzy because she is such a giving person. I just hope that my dad gets come home soon so that we all can rest easy and get some semblance of order back in our lives. My dad and I are really close and I am having a hard time processing all this.

Tonight, I had to buy a brand new DVD player for Griffin because his old one broke and boy did that ever set off a meltdown. He loves that thing so much and it is a big part of his free time activities so it is worth the cost. I can return the old one because I got an extended warranty with it.

I am so glad that we are at home where it is nice and quiet and will get to sleep in our own beds. Griffin really missed my mom tonight at bed time because she usually snuggles with him too, he told her over the phone that he missed her and loved her and that she needs to come to the bed to snuggle with him. He didn't understand that she was not going to be here even though I explained it to him. We will be so glad when they are back home.

I will keep you updated, got to get Griffin to bed where we will snuggle and zonk out!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD GRIFFIN!

I took Griffin to school this morning and on the way there he kept asking me to stay home and wrap presents, I felt kind of bad for him although I believe that being at school is the best outlet for him because he has been so bored at home. By the time we actually got into the school and walked to his classroom he was fine and had a great big smile on his face.

I will write again later and add some new pics for his birthday to let you know how it went and if he goes to swimming or not. For the record and for future reference I want Griffin to know that this is and has been for 6 years the most wonderful day of my entire life, the day he was born. Thank you Griffin for being in my life and making it rich and so full of joy. Thank you for teaching me something new each day and for bringing laughter into my life like nothing else has ever done for me. You are and always will be my most favorite guy in the whole universe! I love you, my little "Pumpkin Pie".

Griffin Is Still Sick But Doing Much Better Today

Here is a picture of my little happy camper before he got really really sick. I took Griffin to the doctor last Friday and found out that he had a double ear infection along with a terrible cough and a runny nose. The doctor prescribed antibiotics (Omnicef) which I have had to open up the capsule and try to hide it in some food (ice cream & chocolate syrup) once a day and today he is finally starting to feel better. The reason that I didn't take him to the doctor sooner is because he didn't complain until the pain got so severe that he apparently couldn't stand it anymore. Griffin has such a high tolerance to pain he won't let me know until he is just miserable. For several days he didn't even want to leave the house which is highly unusual for him but he did get some much needed rest to help him heal faster. Finally yesterday he asked to go to McDonalds for a Happy Meal and with lots of encouragement he did finish most of his food. I was just glad that he was feeling well enough to leave the house.

I picked up some homework from his teacher yesterday and when I showed Griffin he was happy about it, he loves to do homework. This morning his nose isn't running and he is not coughing nearly as much as yesterday and his eye is doing better, I had thought that he had pink eye yesterday morning and got some drops for it but today he didn't wake up with a crusty eye so maybe it wasn't pink eye or the one application of drops made a difference. The doctor told me that after the first application of drops (24 hours later) he will be able to be exposed to others and not be contagious anymore.

Tomorrow is Griffin's big 6th birthday! I had wanted to arrange a party for him but since he and my mom are both sick I guess that his birthday celebration will be postponed until a later date. I will be so happy if he is even better tomorrow so that he can go to school and go swimming tomorrow afternoon. Griffin seems to grasp the concept of what his birthday means and that he will get presents and that he will be 6 years old so that is cool. I bought cake mix, sprinkles, and candy letters so that he can decorate his own cake either this afternoon or tomorrow, I will take some pictures of his masterpiece (baking and decorating project).

I just remembered that Griffin was supposed to have his evaluation at school to determine where he really is academically and otherwise behaviorally and socially but he has missed it since he cannot attend school right now. I guess that I will call and re-schedule it. even though he has missed school, he has maintained a mellow and affectionate disposition and has done well not to over exert himself which is great because to me that means that he is aware that his body needs rest and mellow/low key activities.

I will update the blog tomorrow and let you know how well Griffin is doing and whether or not he gets to go to school and to swimming. Hope that everyone has a wonderful day!

Let Me Know What You Think About This Article

Hopkins Team Identifies Autism Susceptibility Gene

WEBWIRE – Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Researchers at Johns Hopkins have identified a common genetic alteration that appears to be associated with autism only when inherited by sons from their mother. The CNTNAP2 gene, also identified by two other groups publishing jointly in the January issue of The American Journal of Human Genetics, is one of the strongest common genetic links to autism susceptibility found to date.

“While there probably are other, yet unidentified gene variants that also contribute to autism susceptibility, our data clearly show that CNTNAP2 is associated with an increased risk and an excellent entry into further study for understanding autism,” says Aravinda Chakravarti, Ph.D., professor of medicine, pediatrics and molecular biology and genetics and member of the McKusick-Nathans Institute of Genetic Medicine at Hopkins.

Using samples collected by the National Institute of Mental Health Autism Genetics Initiative, the Hopkins team analyzed genetic material from 72 families, each having two or three affected children who were diagnosed before 36 months of age by the most stringent clinical classification of autism disorder.

“We initially limited ourselves to the samples with the strictest definition of autism to minimize any heterogeneity, hoping that if the effects were subtle, they would still stand out,” says Dan Arking, Ph.D., an assistant professor at the McKusick-Nathans Institute. “Using a broader definition of autism, we were then able to replicate the initial finding in one of the largest-ever group of autism samples.”

Autism spectrum disorder includes a set of poorly understood developmental disorders that vary in severity and symptoms, but all include impaired social interaction and language development and restricted and repetitive behavior and interests.

The Hopkins team focused on one region on chromosome 7 that previously had been flagged as a possible link to faulty language acquisition in autism families.

Using genome-wide analysis, the team first analyzed DNA from 292 individuals, including 148 affected offspring. They compared single nucleotide polymorphisms, or SNPs, the differences in single chemical’s building blocks of the DNA at the same point across many people. They found that autistic individuals tend to inherit the DNA letter T from their parents much more often than expected by chance at one particular place on the chromosome.

To validate their finding, the team then repeated their approach with a separate group of samples consisting of 1,295 parent-child trios. They again found an overrepresentation of T, confirming that inheritance of the T genetic variant is associated with increased risk of developing autism.

The T genetic variant is found in the middle of the CNTNAP2 gene, short for contactin-associated protein-like 2, which codes for a protein that’s thought to mediate cell communication in the nervous system.

The researchers then looked at the same data to see if there were differences in which parent the T allele is inherited from and the gender of the child. They found that autistic individuals are more likely to get the T allele from mothers than fathers, and more likely to be boys than girls.

“We know that boys are four times as likely as girls to be autistic,” says Chakravarti. “And now we have some intriguing evidence suggesting that the gene may show a parent-of-origin effect.”

The research was funded by the National Institutes of Health.

Authors on the paper are Dan Arking, David Cutler, Tanya Teslovich, Kristen West, Morna Ikeda, Alexis Rea, Moltu Guy, Shin Lin and Chakravarti of Hopkins, and Camille Brune and Edwin Cook Jr. of the Institute for Juvenile Research at the University of Illinois, Chicago.

On the Web:

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/geneticmedicine/About/index.html

http://www.ajhg.org/

Griffin's Artwork and How I am Doing Today

Here is a picture of Griffin's artwork and it's of his current most favorite character Spongebob. I think that it is a pretty good likeness of him, goodness knows that he should know all the details since he sees it all the time and owns practically everything Spongebob. Anyhow, he seems to be quite proud of himself and his picture. The other pic is Griffin on the playground schmoozing up to the camera........again.

I had to go to Urgent Care yesterday due to the pain that had spread all over my lower back and down into my hips. I waited 3 hours but it was okay I guess because everyone was so very nice to me. I was very impressed by the staff and especially the doctor himself......he was a very laid back and casual sort of guy. He prescribed me some new meds to try and apparently by the way I feel today, they are working wonderfully. I guess that part of it is that I probably passed the stones because it seems like the most logical scenario. We do know for sure that there was blood and bacteria present so he gave me meds for that and valium to help me and my muscles relax and try to help the pain.

Regardless of the time I had to wait I was impressed with the level of care and kindness that I had the opportunity to experience there. Anyhow, I am moving freely today and I hope to take Griffin to the playground and to the arcade later this evening.

Hugs to all of you, thanks for your comments and showing me that you care

He Is Such A Cutie Pie, Can't Help But To Love Him

I love this gorgeous little guy so much I can hardly stand it! No matter what kind of mood I am in he always makes me smile, even when I feel grumpy like I have for the past few days. I just went to the doctor with pain in my lower right side of my back and it was so severe that it felt just like my labor pains. The doctor thinks that it is kidney stones so I am going to have some images made on Friday morning at the hospital and I sure hope that they can tell what is going on because no matter what position I am in I am in excruciating pain and nothing brings relief. The kicker is that I cannot take any kind of pain killers or Ibuprofen because they make me horribly manic so I have to tough it out until they find out what's going on. Wish me luck and that I have a speedy recovery, I could use all the luck in the world right now. If I do not post again soon you will know what is going on with me. Lots of love to all my friends and hugs too.

PLEASE READ: This is so disturbing but we must be aware of this stark reality

Mom Confesses She Killed Autistic Child

2 days ago

PEKIN, Ill. (AP) — A woman accused of killing her autistic daughter testified Friday that she attempted to suffocate the 3-year-old with a pillow three days before she succeeded with a plastic garbage bag.

Karen McCarron said she couldn't go through with it using the pillow. When prosecutor Kevin Johnson asked her how long she held the bag over the toddler's head soon after, she replied about two minutes — until little Katie stopped struggling.

In a videotaped confession played in court Thursday, McCarron said she began having thoughts of hurting her daughter a year before the May 2006 slaying but put them out of her mind. On the day of the killing, though, the thoughts were stronger than ever.

"They were so intense," McCarron said.

McCarron, 39, has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to murder, obstructing justice and concealment of a homicidal death. She was found mentally fit to stand trial, but a medical expert hired by her attorneys has said she was insane at the time of the killing.

The trial resumes Monday.

McCarron, a former pathologist, testified she felt responsible for Katie's autism because she allowed the child to get vaccinated.

It "brought me a great deal of guilt," she said.

McCarron told investigators in the confession taped two days after Katie was killed that she wrapped the white plastic bag around the child's head as Katie played with toys on the floor at the home of McCarron's mother in Peoria.

The child had scratch marks on her head and bite marks were found inside her mouth and on the bag as she apparently tried to free herself, according to other testimony.

The confession was taped while McCarron was hospitalized after attempting suicide, investigators said. Wearing a hospital gown, she appears sitting on a bed next to her husband, Paul McCarron.

Karen McCarron said she killed her child hoping to "fix her" and give her peace in heaven.

"Maybe I could fix her this way, and in heaven she would be complete," she said on the tape.

Karen McCarron said on the videotape that she took her daughter's body back to her own house and put her in bed. She then went to the store, bought ice cream and returned to her mother's home to get the garbage bag because, "if things get bad, their house would be searched."

Interviewers asked McCarron if she knew what she did was criminally wrong.

"I have enough education to know that," she answered.

McCarron told police she felt like a failure because of the child's autism and was sad and hurt because the child couldn't interact with her very well.

"I loved Katie very much, but I hated the autism so, so much," McCarron said. "I hated what it was doing to her. ... I just wanted autism out of my life."

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For more stories about this horrid and all too common, sickening situation please take a moment to read and practice awareness and not turn a blind eye to what's really going on around us. I believe that autistic individuals are a blessing in so many ways and I do not understand how people are so mentally ill and do not reach out for help to avoid murdering a totally innocent child/adult just because of the autism and their lack of love and understanding for them. I count my blessings every moment of the day for being so privileged to be Griffin's mother, he has taught me so many things in my life, far more than I have taught him.

Griffin's Re-eval Meeting

As you can see here, Griffin is quite the ham when it comes to taking pictures, he lights up and shows his inner beauty and his happy little self beaming with glee.

Yesterday I attended a meeting about Griffin's progress and his re-evaluation which is held every three years and my oh my how he has changed. His teacher and speech path. had nothing but positive things to report and they are excited about his progress just in the past year. With the help of the SC Autism Society's advocate we all decided to increase the time that he spends with the kindergarten class (regular ed.) while they are working on math skills. I believe that because he is so high functioning that it is best to increase his inclusion time so that he will have the opportunity to polish up his socialization skills and his communication skills as well. The math part is going to be the easiest task since he has surpassed their grade level. His teacher believes that he is ready to sit in a classroom with a lot of structure and that he is capable of keeping still and organized during this period. I am so excited for him because I feel that he is just going to take off and make progress by leaps and bounds. It was a relatively short meeting because there were no issues to address, his behavior has improved markedly and he is compliant, following the rules, and being a good listener. Griffin simply loves to learn and he is still more than willing to do his homework each evening...........sometimes even asking to do it before he is even reminded.

At home Griffin's behavior has changed as well and his happy and mellow attitude is so refreshing because a year ago around this time he was still struggling with meltdowns because he was just getting used to his new environment and all new people in his life. Now Griffin is so settled and comfortable with everything around him and believe me I am so very grateful for all that he is and what he has become. Fortunately, Griffin still likes to snuggle and show affection and I sure do hope that he never loses that because it brings so much joy to my life. Griffin is showing a stronger desire to do things independently and he seems quite proud of his accomplishments too.

I got a new computer and I am so happy! Griffin is using my old computer and he loves it, his old computer was just that.........OLD! Now he can use a nicer one and play his pbskids.org games and visit his favorite show's web sites such as Nickelodeon, Sprout and so on. Well, I am going to play with my new computer and see what it can do and then maybe send out some e-mail. Hope that everyone is having a wonderful day and that you all find some joy in living for today.

No Resolutions Here

I simply do not make resolutions each year because I believe that one is only fooling oneself to think that they are going to stick, in a word..........resolutions only set us up for disappointment. Don't get me wrong, I believe that it is healthy and helpful to have aspirations and hopes of becoming or doing something that is healthy and beneficial to one's own self but within reason and no so lofty. An example is that each year I aspire to be a better mommy than I was the previous year, to learn more by listening to Griffin, and to live a healthier lifestyle than ever before and for the most part I have been able to do all these things in moderation of course, I am certainly not going to win any awards for these changes that I have made and by no means will I be proclaimed to be mommy of the year, that's for sure. Each day (not year) I wish to become more productive and creative and to always be grateful for everything in my life because all of it serves a purpose whether it is minute or tremendous, it all has a significant place in the whole scheme of things.

With that said, I shall move on and get Griffin out of the house for awhile and let him play on the playground for a bit while the weather is nice. I hope for all of you to continue with your hopes and aspirations not just for the year but day by day, moment by moment in moderation and with love for thyself. I wish for you to be surrounded by love and that you receive plenty of affection from those you care for the most. May you see yourself in the eyes of a stranger and not judge them by their appearances but instead find love within your heart to understand their point of view. I know that I am certainly going to work on these things myself day by day I wish to be a loving human being for all of humankind.

Griffin Is Making Great Progress Each And Every Day

As you can see Griffin is having a great time sharing with his cousin, he has come such a long way since last year when he came into contact with her, he would not share or have positive interactions with her. Now he is not only playing with her but he is exchanging conversation tidbits with her. She is 3 years old so her language is somewhat limited but they seemed to do well together in spite of having short exchanges in communication. Every little bit is such great progress in my mind, it thrills me to see him show interest in carrying on with another child.

My sister and her family came to visit from North Carolina most of the day and it was a really good visit, it is always nice to see them. Last weekend my mom, Griffin, and I went to see my nephew wrestle, he is in high school, and I was amazed with how well Griffin handled being in the loud gymnasium. Griffin just sat there with his headphones on while he watched a DVD occasionally climbing on the bleachers. Later we went to eat and he sat there so nicely and ate pizza (his absolute favorite) so I think that he had a pretty good day all in all. I just love watching my little boy mature and become more aware of the people around him and engaging in conversation so much better than he was a year ago.

There's not much else to report except that Griffin is having a great winter break so far, we are going to the playground regularly and to feed the ducks and geese which he loves. I hope to post again before the new year but just in case I don't get around to it then I would like to wish everyone a perfectly wonderful and Happy New Year, may you all be safe and feel loved as we transition into 2008. Lots of love and hugs to all of you!