Single Moms Raising Autistic Sons


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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Autism through the Lifespan...Part Two of Nine



In the second part of our series Autism through the Lifespan, we look at early childhood with an autism spectrum disorder.
Part two of a nine-part series covering autism’s impact through the lifespan. Erika Beras, behavioral health reporter at WDUQ in Pittsburgh, reports.
Most families with a child on the autism spectrum divide their lives in 2 segments – before and after the diagnosis.
Astrid Arroyo: Well, the first time of course, I was, crushed. But early on, when he first got his diagnosis I thought with early intervention, everything is gonna be ok, we’ll just work on it. The whole time, I’m thinking you know, by three or five years old, he’ll be typical child.
That’s Astrid Arroyo, whose son Kai has autism. He’s had hundreds of hours of one-on-one training and has made tremendous progress. It’s not apparent to the untrained eye.
Astrid Arroyo: Right now he’s not even potty-trained. I mean, he is but he’s not fully potty-trained. So he still wears pull-ups. And he’s 9 years old.
The first post-diagnosis step is applying for and getting Behavioral Health Rehabilitation Services or wraparound. The earlier a child gets them, the better their long-term outcome. For the most part, the tailored services are all paid for by medical assistance. It’s an intensely personal process – the specialists make house calls.
There are about 20 people that work with Kai. He has specialized physicians, language instructors, behavior and occupational therapists – even feeding specialists.
He never switched from baby foods to solids.
Astrid Arroyo: He only eats butterscotch pudding. And he drinks milk from a bottle and that’s it.
Heath, his younger brother, often helps feed him.
Astrid Arroyo: They’re only 16 months apart. They have the same friends. Heath has been able to teach him a lot of stuff. Going back to whenever they were little, Kai didn’t walk until he was about two years old but even before that he didn’t crawl and he learned to crawl because of Heath.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one out of 110 children now have an autism spectrum disorder.
Autism impacts thinking, behavior, language and ability to relate to others. The severity varies. It may have a co-existing condition – common ones are epilepsy or gastrointestinal illnesses or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. There is no cause and there is no cure. Autism Spectrum Disorders present differently in everyone who has it.
Kai for example, understands most of what he hears but has the expressive language of a 3-year-old. He is social and affectionate. And he looks up to his little brother.
The rate of autism is steadily increasing. The numbers are high but many in the field say they aren’t even altogether accurate. Jana Iverson is a psychology professor at The University of Pittsburgh.
Jana Iverson: It varies a lot by economic and urban or rural environments. So children who are white and living in urban settings are more likely to receive a diagnosis earlier than minority children and children who are living in rural areas are likely to receive a diagnosis even later.
Astrid is originally from Puerto Rico. When she went to see doctors she was told not to worry because Kai’s speech problems were the result of her speaking Spanish at home. But she didn’t speak it at home. And even if she did, it wouldn’t have caused the sort of issues her son was having.
Astrid Arroyo: A lot of Spanish speaking families here are going through the same thing where their kids are late, you know they’re not talking at the right time and when they go to the pediatrician, the pediatrician will say it’s because you speak Spanish in the home just give it some time and come back. The problem with that is when you say it to the parents they come back when the kids are 5 or 6 so they missed out on early intervention.
Dr. Diego Chaves Gnecco says with dual languages, pediatricians often don’t diagnose. He’s working to fix that.
He runs Salud Para Ninos, a bilingual clinic for kids and works as a developmental behavioral pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. Nationally, Hispanics are less likely to be diagnosed with autism. There aren’t local statistics. But based on his work and the lack of outreach, he knows one thing.
Diego Chaves Gnecco: If you are Hispanic in the United States you are less likely to be diagnosed with autism. If you are Hispanic in Southwestern Pennsylvania, you are even less likely to be diagnosed with autism.
Part of it, he says is the “invisibility” of the Latino community. Elsewhere, there tend to be geographical ethnic enclaves. Here, the community is scattered. According to the census, in Allegheny County, there are 8,000 Latinos. About one third of them are children.
The doctor works in the outlying counties as well. Children in rural areas also tend to be under-diagnosed.

Diego Chaves Gnecco:
 We started going to Washington county. We drove for about thirty minutes from here, those families were underserved, they didn’t have a doctor, they have never seen a pediatrician for their kids.
Sometimes providers miss the signs. But other times parents don’t seek help because they don’t know how to or where to go.
Legal status can play a role. Astrid has been doing outreach within the Latino community.
Astrid Arroyo: We learned now, when we do trainings not to ask for a return address or even have a mailing list just to have them come and to have them listen. Because I think a lot of people that are immigrants if they have to register, if they have to provide a phone, an address, any information like that – they’re not going to come.
If a child doesn’t have legal status then they can’t qualify for medical assistance – the first step in obtaining wrap-around services.
Paying for treatment out of pocket can be costly.
Sometimes, she thinks of moving back to Puerto Rico.
Astrid Arroyo: I would love to. Just for the fact that’s its Puerto Rico, the weather is nice and my parents are there. I know for a fact that there are no services there.
Not having services in Puerto Rico is why Wendy Lopez moved here. Her 9-year-old son is severely autistic. Paying for services would have cost her upwards of 25,000 a year. She says she would have moved anywhere to provide him with what he needed. She picked Pittsburgh because she had family here and had researched the state’s services.
Wendy Lopez: I never thought I would be living somewhere else. I always thought I would live my whole life in Puerto Rico but having this situation made me realize how lucky I am of having this opportunity of living here, providing Victor with all of the resources he needs.
African-Americans are also under-diagnosed. Terry Scheffey of Family Behavioral Resources does outreach in the community. He says there’s about a two-year diagnosis gap.
Terry Scheffey: A lot of minority kids don’t see the same physician all the time so they don’t pick up on it. A lot are diagnosed with behavioral problems instead of autism. And there’s a huge gap in the medical system period.
Sometimes, parents get a diagnosis and don’t pursue treatment for their children.
Terry Scheffey: A lot of parents say, I got the information and it hurt so bad, I just waited. A lot of times what happens is when when the kids get to school age, the school tells them. Before your child is at school age you can pretty much say oh, he’ll grow out of it. When your child gets to school, you pretty much know when your child is falling behind – I think reality hits them.
He is starting a support group for African-American parents. In the Pittsburgh area, there are about a dozen of different types of support groups. Astrid belongs to several.
Astrid Arroyo: Everything that I know and everything that I have been able to get for my son has been through other parents who have shared their experience.
It helps, parents say, to be around others who are also going through similar experiences. And it also helps to talk about their feelings.
Patti McCloud’s son Jordan is 13. For her, one of the hardest things is watching other children hit milestones when her son hasn’t even hit the most basic.
Patti McCloud: I’m hoping that someday, I could have sworn he said a word yesterday. I could have sworn he was laying there and he said the word mom. And then I think, do I just want him to say the word.
Oftentimes they say it helps to talk about how hard something as simple as going to the grocery store can be.
Lynn Cass’s son Alex is 12.
That’s him.
Lynn Cass: That’s kind of unsettling, upsetting, sometimes people are really rude and will stare at him and you see them whispering and that bothers you.
Despite the upheaval that follows the initial diagnosis, many parents say they get used to it.
Astrid Arroyo.
Astrid Arroyo: For the first three years of Kai’s life I was miserable. I think that was my rock bottom. In fact, I think finding out he had autism was kind of like a wake-up call and it was just one of the things, I’m like, ok, this is the way, I cannot change it.
She has come to peace with her life and even grown to love it.
Astrid Arroyo: Right now I’m enjoying everything that’s going on right now, everything just fell into place, everything is perfect at school, we have therapy going, his relationship with his brother is just perfect and we can go out now, we can go out to restaurants and I just want to be as happy as I can right now and enjoy it. Because I know (laughs) once puberty comes…
Erika Beras reports on behavioral health issues for WDUQ in Pittsburg, PA.

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Gorgeous Blogger Award from Show Me Mama


This great award has been bestowed upon me by Show Me Mama and I greatly appreciate it! It is always so nice to know that other moms are so considerate and thoughtful as to give me an award for the blog. Show Me Mama is a great blog that is so well put together and so very informative. It is also full of links to all kinds of blogs and websites that are useful to each and every mom for any kind of reason. I have even borrowed some of the links and used them on my blog because they are so exciting and useful that I want to share them with all the other moms that read my blog. So thank you Show Me Mama for being such a great resource to me and the rest of the world! Please follow the link above to see all the great things that are in store for you and all the information that you can find there.

I would like to bestow this award upon my dear friend Melissa at I Don't Need Excuses because she is such an awesome friend and a great blogger. Also the following wonderful bloggers/friends who have been not only friends on facebook but true friends in real life and have helped me through some tough times:
Tara at http://tazzymania1.blogspot.com/
Lily at http://clairehawkins13.blogspot.com
Jen at http://thekingandeye.blogspot.com/
Alison at http://wilesfamilyblog.blogspot.com/
Erin at http://gdfpuppyraiser.blogspot.com/
Tracy at http://lovelifeandaspieantics.blogspot.com/




Friday, May 14, 2010

People Never Cease to Amaze Me!


Griffin and I are walking into Wal-Mart with Abby Griffin's service dog and the idiot at the door yelled at me and asked me if the dog was a service dog. I guess the bright blue vest with the vivid white patch that said "Service Dog" on it wasn't proof enough. So I yelled back at him and asked him if she had a vest on or not!

Then we go to the aisle where there is cereal and Griffin wants Frosted Flakes and I reminded him that he is not allowed to have sugar and that there is sugar in that cereal so he proceeds to have a meltdown. I noticed three females staring and I keep talking to Griffin telling him that he could have the "reduced sugar" Frosted Flakes but he just got worse. So one of the girls was making a face and watching Griffin and I glare at her with as evil a look as I could, which wasn't hard since I was exasperated anyhow, and looked her straight in the eye and said, " he's autistic"! She turned away and looked embarrassed and then I was glad!

Finally Griffin calmed down and we got the cereal that I told him he could get. So then the ignorance did not stop there.....I was buying some wine, and god knows that I deserved it, so the checkout woman asks me for my driver's license and I gladly give it to her. THEN......she asks me if I was driving tonight, it gets really good now....so I say "Not after I get home" wondering why the hell she was asking. Then the idiot tells me that she thought that Abby was a seeing-eye dog and she was wondering how I could drive. LMAO!!!!!! (Laugh My Ass Off)!!!!

So we walk out the same door and the first idiot tells me to have a good evening and I was so over it that I didn't even glance at him. I cannot believe that in the time frame of about 15 minutes I met 3, count them, THREE idiots all in the same vicinity!!! So I go home sit on the couch and have my glass of wine that tasted like heaven considering what I had just gone through. I had kept my composure the entire time and by god I was going to do something for me!

Yesterday Griffin was having a meltdown in the grocery store as he was insisting on getting some candy. I calmly reminded him that it wasn't allowed and told him that if he was truly hungry that he would choose something else, even chips was okay at that point. But he just got worse with every passing minute...no...every passing second. Then he runs to the next aisle in meltdown mode and I told him that if he didn't come back that we were leaving. We were actually on the way to his speech therapy before all this. He then comes back but proceeds to walk swiftly to the ice cream cooler and once again I remind him that it is not an option to have sugar. He is in full meltdown mode at this point screaming his head off as it reverberates through the store. I had noticed a woman that was nearby through all this but I was so wrapped up in what he was doing I didn't notice that she was watching.

Finally, I take Griffin by the hand and calmly lead him out of the store mumbling under my breath. I let him get in the car screaming and walk around the back of the car as this woman who had been watching approaches me and tells me that my son is so lucky to have a mother like me and that he could easily be a victim of abuse but that I handled things so well and that she was so proud of me and then she gave me a big hug. I was near tears at this point and all I could say was that I was trying so hard because he wasn't being a good listener. She told me again what a great mother I was and I got in the car and tried to breathe.

It didn't hit me and it still hasn't because I don't feel like a great mother. I feel like if I was maybe my son wouldn't have so many meltdowns lately. Maybe I would have this magic up my sleeve that would make everything all better. I am so exhausted...........going to go sit down and veg out in front of the TV again and try to go to sleep soon. I just wish that there was some miracle that would help him cope with me and the world better. I don't wish the autism away because that is who he is but I sure wish that the behavioral issues were under control.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Remembering My Aunt Gail as She is Ready to Pass

My dearest aunt lies in bed in the hospice house..........this is really hard to write...........and as she is near her passing I remember her as the loving aunt who loves to watch and laugh with Griffin. She would always brag about him to my mom and dad whenever she would get to spend the day with us. Unfortunately I did not take a picture of them together as it seemed that I always forgot my camera but I have nothing but fond memories of her. If this doesn't seem like my best writing then it is because I can't seem to get past the tears to think clearly.

She told me one night on the phone what an awesome mom I was to Griffin, that it was amazing how patient I was with him all the time. I was so touched by her words as it meant a lot to me that she thought that and felt that way. I will never forget how that made me feel and I remember her smiling face and the sound of her laughter. We used to go to the YMCA together because she loved going into the pool to exercise and going into the sauna and whirlpool made her body feel better. She was bound to the wheelchair because she had no femur in her left leg so any chance we got we would go and enjoy ourselves. We loved going to Hot Dog World where they had the best hot dogs and Reuben sandwiches. On the weekends Griffin and I would go to her house and hang out. Griffin would hang out with his uncle Charlie and ride the scooter and I would sit outside with Aunt Gail and just talk.

We had a lot in common because we are both bipolar and both have had a lot of life's experiences. We both understood each other and how life throws you a lot of curves. We listened to each other and knew where each other were coming from without having to go into details. She was my best friend and I am going to miss the hell out of her. The images and sounds will forever stay in my mind and in my heart and I am glad that we were there for each other because it was an awesome friendship. Guess there will be a void in my life now but my heart if full of love for her and that will never go away.

I will write about Griffin in another post, it just doesn't seem appropriate right now.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

The Reluctant Baseball Player and The Manic Mom



Griffin played baseball today even though he was reluctant and seemed to not like being there most the time. I still encourage him to play and do something outside because if he had his way he would just play on the computer all day long and never go outside. The female coach was so good with him and kept him engaged the entire time (only 2 innings). She kept him busy playing high five games in the outfield and they let him bat the ball (his favorite part) first both times. I will continue to take him in hopes that he will either get to liking it but even if he still doesn't really care for it at least he is out of the house learning to do something other than the computer.

I had a bad manic episode the other night and literally stayed up all night long and finally called the on-call doctor at 5:00 a.m. and he asked me if I had any other psyche meds in the house and I remembered that I had some Attivan and he told me to take one and that I should insist on seeing my doctor that day. I took it and it calmed me down, I was able to get sleep and my doctor was booked solid until my appt. on the 17th. Now that I have the Attivan I will be able to sleep at night because the Melatonin is not doing the trick any longer. And I will not have a problem with mania because if taken as needed it will keep the mania away. I had been increasingly been becoming manic and didn't realize it, just thought that I was merely energetic so it slowly sneaked up on me. Regardless of what you have heard about mania being fun.........it is not for everyone! It is miserable because it feels like my heart is about to beat out of my chest, my breathing is shallow, and eventually the sweat begins and it feels like sheer fear physically without the fear mentally. I have racing thoughts and cannot think straight, can't focus and can only lie still until I have to get up to do only what I have to do..........like call the doctor and beg for help!

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Special Needs Baseball (Mobility Concepts)

Griffin went to his first baseball game today and it was a mixed bag. He kept wanting to hit the ball instead of standing around waiting for the ball to be hit in the outfield..........can't blame him for that. Anyhow, the coaches and other volunteers/parents were super because they got him motivated (to a degree) and kept him in the game. I gave up trying to help him because he kept trying to have a meltdown so I sat in the bleachers and watched.

It is so great how they have things set up so that the kids can have success all the time and everyone is so helpful and motivated to getting the kids involve and engaged. I had forgotten my camera and that is why I only have him standing inside the apartment with his uniform on. Next week I will take pictures of him actually playing and a video too.

It was nice because it was in the morning so it wasn't so hot. Griffin already has a great tan going on and I sprayed very well with Bullfrog sunscreen. I realized why Griffin doesn't like going outside to play most of the time and my apartment manager pointed it out to me one evening as he was actually on the playground (she also has an autistic son). The weather was nice and cool and she said that that is why he won't go outside during the day and she is right because Griffin has a high tolerance to cool/cold weather and temperatures and has no tolerance for the heat. He loves his bath water to be freezing cold and will not get in if it is even warm.

So, from now on I am going to take him out early in the morning and/or in the evening before sunset and see if he will play. Unfortunately the other kids probably won't be out but at least he will be outside for awhile.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Thanks Jazzygal for Passing on the Gratitude Award


I was tagged by my dear friend, Jazzygal who has been supportive and helpful in times of need especially on Facebook. Thank you for passing on this Gratitude Award to me, I like to think that I am a positive person who is eternally grateful for what I have in life.

Here are the things that I am grateful for/my Gratitude List for this week:

1. Griffin and I have our medications finally straightened out!
2. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have about autism and that I know enough to protect Griffin from those who seem to not have his success and best interest at heart, therefor I am looking into a new school.
3. The weather is gorgeous and this is my second favorite time of year...autumn being my most favorite.
4. I was able to buy food for us today and coupled with the food from the food bank we should be set for the month. I am grateful that somehow we always end up with food in our bellies!
5. I am grateful that even though it is a fixed income, at least we have income as many people in the USA do not.
6. I am grateful for my dear friends on Facebook who are so supportive of me in times of need whom I have never even met in person but look out if we ever do because the world wouldn't be able to handle us! Especially after a few bottles of wine!!!
7. I am grateful that I get to talk to my parents each day....or several times a day.

I am tagging Melissa H., Erin , and  Jen with this positive meme.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Life is Good! Please Leave a Comment

 Griffin is doing great now, he is on 5 mg. of Abilify and it makes such a huge difference! The moment I give it to him he straightens right up and his behaviors go right out the door. It is because I crush them ( the Melatonin and the Abilify) and put them in milk because he refuses to take pills for me. I just hope that as he grows older this won't be a problem at home just in case he needs to take more pills that might taste bad if taken that way. He will take pills for everyone else just not me ......of course!

I am doing great still and losing weight!!! I don't have a scale but I can tell because of the way I feel and because my pregnant-looking belly is going down, it actually looks less pregnant now.

The weather is great and I am trying to find ways to get Griffin to spend more time outside like taking Abby for more walks during the day over the weekend and going to my aunt's house so that Griffin can spend more time with his uncle Charlie. In fact, we went there yesterday and Griffin got to ride with Charlie on his scooter and he loved it! Griffin actually ate a tangerine while he was having boy time with Charlie. He wouldn't do that for me.

My friend Melissa wrote in her blog about kind of losing touch with her circle of friends/support of other moms of autistic kids and I feel the same. I wish that I had more comments on my blog so that I wouldn't feel like nobody is interested in reading about us and keeping in touch. I have lots of Facebook friends that I keep in touch with but it's just not the same. I have followers but I do wonder if they are actually reading the blog.....if you are reading this then I am hoping that you will stop for a moment and leave a comment....Please!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Decrease in Abilify is Causing Increased Meltdowns


Here's Griffin with his favorite kitty in the whole world, "Dot". As Dot gets older she is more tolerant of Griffin and she allows him to handle her like this. He is such a ham in front of the camera, hence the funny face.

Since decreasing Griffin's Abilify, which was used for symptoms of bipolar disorder, he has been out of control with an elevated mood that causes him to have increased meltdowns. We are going to have to get to the doctor so that something changes. I was told that 5 mg. was used for children 10 and over but damn.....he functions better on it and I just can't take this!! I am sure that he is not enjoying it either!!! He is only on 2 mg. and it is just not enough so I think we are going to have to go against the recommended dosage or try a different approach medically.

I have found that giving him 5 mg. of Melatonin helps him to calm down when he comes home all wound up after school. It helps him to be able to focus better on his homework even though he still gives me a hard time about it. Yesterday he came in off the bus and I was on the phone, and screamed at the top of his lungs in my face! Then we had to go to Speech and it didn't stop, unfortunately I didn't give him the Melatonin right away and I sure wish that I had. He had some behavior problems with the Speech Therapist and she handled it quite well but he started again as soon as he saw me afterwards, because I didn't go into the session with them.

This is Griffin with Mr. Pumpkin, the Halflinger horse that he and I ride when going to Hippotherapy. Just a FYI.....hippo is the Greek word for horse so that's why it is called hippotherapy. Did you know that the Greeks have used horses for therapy since 460 BC? Yep, it has been around awhile and if you want to know more about it go to the American Hippotherapy Association website. Mr. Pumpkin is an excellent horse and is lots of fun to ride, Griffin really digs it when he trots and laughs every time.

I quit taking Seroquel a few days ago and I AM A HAPPY CAMPER!!!! My life is sooooo much better because of it and I am so in awe of how I feel like a regular person and can't even tell that I have bipolar disorder and have NO sleep problems now. Because I take 2 melatonin with no side effects like I had when on the Seroquel. AND........I am finally losing weight because I don't have a ravenous appetite and a gnawing hunger all the time anymore!!! In fact, I am so happy that I have tears in my eyes when I think about how awesome my doctor is for caring for me enough to figure out how I can have a better quality of life! He is my hero and I am going to tell him that when I see him next week. I had been on Seroquel since 2004 when I was diagnosed and it has been nothing but bad news, no doctor has ever cared enough to get me off of it and recognized that it was the bane of my life!!!


Nothing but good news from me but now we've got to get Griffin straightened out and our home will be all  good. Today I go to hippotherapy and look forward to it. I am going to have to go to the outside ring because the covered one is going to be used for a seminar. So, I will have to see if I can be out in the sun without breaking out in sun poison which means that I am allergic to the sun. If it doesn't work then I will have to stop going for 5 weeks until we can use the covered one again.

Hope that all my dear friends on Facebook are doing well and that you for stopping by to check out what's going on with us!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Check Out This Non-Toxic Girls Nail Polish


Piggy Paint is a natural, eco-friendly nail polish designed for fancy girls. Its non-toxic, hypoallergenic formula makes it safe to use on all the little piggies (toes and fingernails).

Piggy Paint dries to a hard, durable finish that can easily be removed with our eco-friendly, low odor Piggy Paint nail polish remover. Both are made in the USA!

Available in an assortment of gift sets that are perfect for Holidays and other special occasions. Say good-bye to harsh, smelly chemicals and hello to Piggy Paint...it's as Natural as Mud.



Just click on the blue highlighted words and the link will take you straight to amazon.com where you can purchase this excellent product. I will get a small percentage of the sale if you order it from here and I would greatly appreciate if you did so. Thanks a bunch for stopping by!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Carbon Neutral Blog. This is What You Need to Do


Just write a short blog post about our programme “My blog is carbon neutral” and include one of the buttons below on your site (ideally in the sidebar). Send the link to your blog to CO2-neutral@kaufda.de and we plant a tree for you, neutralising the carbon dioxide emissions of your blog. The trees will be planted in the spring of 2010 by the Arbor Day Foundation. For more information about how and where the trees are planted, see the NEWS section.
Just a few easy steps to make it green:
  1. Write a blog post about the initiative + insert your favourite button
  2. E-mail the link to your post to CO2-neutral@kaufda.de
  3. We plant a tree for your blog in Plumas’!
Note: We plant a tree for each domain. Please copy the html-code and paste it in your blog. Make sure the carbon-neutral button works, the html-code must not be changed. Use the carbon-neutral-white button for a white background or the carbon-neutral-transparent button for different colored backgrounds. If you need help, please contact CO2-neutral@kaufda.de. We are looking forward to planting your tree!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Doodle Pro is Griffin's Favorite and You Can Buy It Right Here!

This Doodle Pro is Griffin's absolute favorite toy and has been for several years now. He has had one and worn them out over and over and generally takes it almost everywhere he goes. It is so useful because it is so sturdy and really the only way that they are worn out is if the pencil is damaged or it is stepped on too many times. Otherwise it lasts for a very long time, it is the best money that I have ever spent on him because the other toys come and go and his interest wanes but not with the Doodle Pro.

The "Best Price" is only $11.99 which is an excellent deal and brand new is a mere $17.95 well worth the money. All you have to do is to click on the blue highlighted words to order it from amazon.com. Besides if you order it from my blog then I get a small percentage of the sale......which I can really use!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

You're Tagged! Jen, Jazzygal, Melissa H., Jean, Tara, & Fiona 15 Things About Me

1.Things that scare me
-Griffin being hurt/taken by someone
-Falling into water while in a car
-Griffin getting loose from me and running into traffic

2.People who make me laugh
-Griffin
-Mom
-Dad

3.Things I hate the most
-People chewing with their mouths open
-Exhaust fumes
-Being depressed

4.Things I don't understand
-Lack of compassion
-How someone could harm a child
-How anyone can harm an animal

5.Things I am doing right now
-Watching the dog and cat play together
-Listening to the news
-Missing Griffin, he just got on the bus, but enjoying the peacefulness.

6.Things I want to do before I die
-To own at least one horse
-Make sure that Griffin is set for life
-Grow very old

7.Things I can do
-Write an excellent research paper
-Paint
-Sculpt

8.Ways to describe my personality
-Considerate
-Loving
-Flexible

9.Things I can't do
-Listen to someone talk to me while the t.v. is on
-Sing
-Eat pork, I'm allergic to it

10.Things I think that you should listen to
-The crickets on a summer's night
-Elderly people
-Your children

11.Things you should never listen to
-Gossip
-Negative self-talk
-Propaganda

12.Things I'd like to learn
-How to write a book
-More foreign languages
-More and more about Griffin and autism

13.Favorite foods
-Anything/everything Greek
-My mom's potato salad
-Godiva ice cream

14.Beverages I drink regularly
-Iced tea
-Coffee
-Red wine

15.Shows I watched as a kid
-The Flintstones
-The Brady Bunch
-Starsky and Hutch

16.Persons I am tagging to do this meme
-Jen
-Jazzygal
-Melissa H.

  Fiona
  Jean
  Tara

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Joseph Campbell's The Heroes Journey. Buy it right from this blog post

This is what I am now reading and it is compelling to say the least! Joseph Campbell was an amazing man who was so wise to the world and all its matrix. He shows how the world is all connected spiritually on so many different levels regardless of their religions and beliefs.

I highly recommend this to anyone and everyone because it is going to have something in it that you can take with you and learn about different cultures around the globe, their rituals and how those rituals are so similar to us all. It blends East and West and there he is right there in the midst of it all with all his wisdom.

Joseph Campbell was truly remarkable and I really think that you will become fascinated and be a great fan of his by the end of the book. This is a great price as low as $5.00 used.

All you have to do to purchase this book is to click on the highlighted "Best Price" or where is shows the title of the book "The Heroes Journey" and it will take you to amazon.com so you can order it at any price you choose, used or brand new.

Monday, April 12, 2010

National Autism Resources

Rebecca at National Autism Resources was kind enough to send me a sample of a pencil topper and this is the photo of it. Griffin loves chewing on it when he is doing his homework especially when he gets a bit impatient and frustrated. It is great because it is so resilient that no matter how long it is chewed on it maintains its shape so there is no need to worry about it breaking apart. I highly recommend it for any child who has an oral fixation and likes to chew on things or any child who gets frustrated when trying to accomplish something such as homework or even drawing.

Just follow the link above to get to the website or you can call 877-249-2393 for orders or questions about products. There is also a blog: http://www.NationalAutismResourcesBlog.com/   where you can find excellent posts about autism. I have read several of their posts and I can tell you that I have learned quite a bit that I didn't already know. The posts are written in a very professional manner yet super easy to understand. 

Take a look at what they have to offer, I highly recommend both the website and the blog because I am going to use them from now on. If you have any questions for me about the pencil topper feel free to leave me a comment or call the toll free number, they are very nice and helpful!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Is Griffin an Aspie?

According to the teachers and ones who tested Griffin he is a child with Asperger's Syndrome. It is on his IEP (Individual Education Plan) several times but it is not official (as if from a doctor) so they cannot take services away from him. He tested quite high in all areas in limited testing, there was no logic questions in the math and no reading comprehension so he scored rather high. But when it comes down to doing everyday math he has a very difficult time and he struggles with reading comp. because he is hyperlexic.

My legs, ankles, and feet are so swollen with fluid that I cannot get on any of my shoes except for one pair of clogs and my hands swell pretty bad at night. The doctor didn't seem to be concerned and prescribed a water pill after I asked for one. This is the second doctor I have seen in two days about it and they have no answers. I can't wear those tight hosiery because it is too damn hot here. It has been in the high 80's to 90 degrees the past few days!

I had to go out and spend money I don't have on shorts, short sleeved shirts, and sandals for Griffin or else he would melt because nothing fits him from last summer of course. I had to get a few blouses for me because nothing fit me either.

I missed Griffin's horseback riding on Monday because he didn't go to school (Spring break) and I just spaced it out. And I totally forgot last Thursday that he had Speech. Some great mother I am!!!

UPDATE: Since I wrote this post I got my lab results back and my glucose is abnormally high, it is 121 and normal range is 69 - 100. I am worried that it means that I have Type 2 Diabetes. I have an appointment tomorrow (Friday) to see my doctor. Also my cholesterol is quite high even though I am taking mega dose of salmon oil and garlic which are supposed to help. It runs in the family both diabetes and high cholesterol. So I sure hope that meds can make a big difference. I went to the gym (YMCA) and walked on the treadmill hope if I can go often enough I can get my weight down.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Laura Shumaker published OUR story in the San Francisco Chronicle!!!


Autism: Service Dog to the Rescue



During Autism Awareness Month, readers are sharing their perspectives on raising a child with autism. Today, Lora and Griffin's story.
 
Griffin began showing signs of autism somewhere between 12 - 15 months as I noticed more and more that he was not responding to his name. I had his hearing checked and it was fine so I knew that it had to be autism. We began early intervention at age 15 months with lots of therapy and I spent hours on the floor playing with him. He had a spoon obsession, had to have a spoon everywhere he went, it was adorable but yet another sign of autism.
He also had SIBs and would bang his head all the time and bite himself. I was a single parent from the get-go and had no support other than the women working with him each week. We lived in Anchorage, Alaska where there was no family and really the only friends I had were the women working with Griffin as I was isolated from the outside world. Autism is so isolating and then we were in Alaska so it was a double whammy!

Griffin was officially diagnosed by a developmental pediatrician at 18 months and began to receive more services. He made great progress but was still basically non-verbal at age 2 with only a few word sounds. When my friend Nina came to visit with
her dog we had noticed how much Griffin enjoyed him and that he had NO SIBs when the dog was around. I was so excited! I talked to the O.T who wrote a letter to the regular pediatrician and he okayed it to have a service dog. So, I knew that I couldn't afford a trained service dog and didn't want to wait years to get one so having had a background in working with dogs.
I decided that I could train one myself. I went to the local animal shelter and the first dog that we took into the pen was Valentine, a young German Shepherd who gave Griffin his space and did not lick him in the face. I knew that was the right dog so I named her Abby, easily trained her, and now we have had her 6 years.

Griffin is now high-functioning which I attribute to early intervention. He is in a mainstream classroom in 2nd grade and still has speech in school and privately and O.T privately. He loves the computer and is a whiz on it! I am still a single parent, Griffin is my universe but we get through our challenges with patience and compassion each day. We now live in NC near family and friends.

Griffin and I both take hippotherapy separately of course. I am bipolar and have PTSD so I am on disability as well. Griffin took swimming OT classes since he was 3 until he was 7 years but they do not have it here in North Carolina so we do the horseback riding instead. He adores them....and his cat "Dot" too!
 
Lora lives in North Carolina with her son Griffin. A jack-of-all-trades, she has been everything from a dog groomer and landscape artist to an on air DJ and ballroom dance instructor and many other careers in between!  She is currently taking classes online and plans to get her master's in autism research.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Good Days and Days That are Not so Good

I went to see my doctor deity two days ago and he told me that my extreme fatigue was caused by the Topomax that I was taking but I had my doubts because I was sure that it was my Fibromyalgia (flare up). Well, yesterday was great, after over a month of feeling horribly debilitated and useless, and I was full of energy....this is indicative of Fibromyalgia (the ebb and flow off good and bad days). But this morning I am feeling terrible again and I didn't take the Topomax which means that it is not the medicine....very discouraging!

Having Fibromyalgia is so frustrating in so many ways because 1. nobody can understand what it is really like unless they are going through it. 2. The doctors don't know what to do about it really because they don't even know what causes it. 3. It can be so debilitating and so painful that one does not even have the ability to function normally and take care of regular every day chores and activities. It is such a struggle just to make oneself get out of a horizontal position and do anything.

I am so happy and fortunate that my moods are stable in spite of feeling so bad physically. My doctor deity has gotten my bipolar meds straightened out so that there are no fluctuations in my moods. So very grateful of that because that is a major ordeal when it is out of whack. I am so blessed in so many ways and I am always aware of that. Just because I may feel bad physically doesn't mean that there is a reason to forget that there are so many blessing that we have in our lives. There is never a reason to not have a positive attitude and to not be thankful!

The weather here is gorgeous, it was 82 degrees here yesterday and it looks like it is going to be another beautiful day today. We are supposed to go to my aunt's house for a cookout where my cousin Charlie lives as well and boy, does Griffin love him! Griffin adores men and boys probably because there are none in his life as far as having a father or siblings. So I appreciate the fact that Griffin loves Charlie and follows him around like a little puppy. I try to go over there as much as possible so that Griffin can have some male bonding time. In fact, he is asking me right now if we are going there right at this very moment but we're not supposed to go until 1:00. He is so eager to get there.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Cathartic Expression

My friend Jen left a comment that she likes what I do here with a mixture of talking about autism and our other personal life so I am going to respond likewise. I had left a post on here that the "Cathartic Expression" was going to be about our daily activities and this one was just going to be about autism but she changed my mind. So here is what I wrote on that blog:


This is a photo of Mr. Pumpkin the horse that I rode on Friday and Griffin rode yesterday at Free Rein. He is a Halflinger. He looks like a small draft horse and is very gentle. I bet when he is well groomed that he is just gorgeous.

Just hanging out with Griffin who is out of school today because I overslept due to my Fibromyalgia and then I couldn’t take him to school because I didn’t have enough gas. Good thing that I get money in the bank tomorrow!

I feel so terrible today, so very tired and weak but I refuse to lie down and sleep the day away. I have to fight the Fibro. or it will rule my life and get the best of me. Dr. Husted wants me to exercise in spite of feeling this way and I am here to tell you that it is nearly impossible to do that! Imagine not sleeping for days how you would feel….do you think that you would have the motivation to exercise?

My dear friend Stephen is sending me $100.00 out of the kindness of his heart because he knows that Griffin and I struggle and that we live below the poverty line, that it is very hard for me to put food on the table every month. We only get $44.00 in food stamps and we are lucky to get that much! Food is the major expense other than the big bills that we have. I swear I spend well over $200.00 a month on food plus I have to buy food for the dog and cat too. Stephen is so very kind and has such a big heart to reach out and help us like that. That is so very rare these days and I am so very grateful for his generosity. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful friend, to have such a great group of support in my Facebook and blogging friends, and then there are the friends that I have outside of that with whom I communicate with online. It is a shame that the friends that I have here in person never answer their phones or return their calls. Griffin has been crying and having meltdowns over wanting to see his godmother and she just won’t respond.

It is not for me to judge because everyone has their own life and I do not know why one is or is not acting upon my requests. I love my friends unconditionally and that is NO MATTER WHAT! When it comes down to it and I really need help they are there for me. They helped me move here from SC and helped to furnish my apartment and we used to hang out together but it just kind of petered out. So, my online friends are my close friends too and right now they are the ones who help me the most. I am addicted to Facebook for a very good reason.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

World Autism Awareness Day is coming up and I wanted to get a head start on letting people know and not waiting until it is already here to make an announcement. Now is the time to make arrangements to celebrate on April 2nd 2010 by wearing BLUE. It is time to share stories on your blogs, on facebook, on twitter, or wherever. It is time to tell people that you know about autism if you haven't already, to make them aware of signs and symptoms and behaviors of autism spectrum that are so vast that they may not even realize. It is time to be prepared for April 2nd. It is just around the corner.

Go to your local Autism Society and see if they have those handy little business cards that explain autism and why a child is having a meltdown and what is going on that they may be observing in a grocery store or something. Maybe it is a good time to look up resources that you have been meaning to research through the Autism Society or some local organization/group. Network with other parents to help out newly diagnosed parents who might be struggling and feel overwhelmed. Reach out to someone who is a single parent with an autistic child, I know firsthand that she is in need of support!

There is always something that can be done to help others in some small way and even if you are just on facebook and you have friends with autistic children just drop by and give them some support, just let them know that you care. Sometimes that is enough to give them a huge relief to know that someone really cares about them. Let's all stick together....We can all get through it together.....Support is all we need!!!!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

You Decide If This Man is Autistic. He Solved a Hundred Year Old Math Problem

A reclusive genius, Dr. Grigori Perelman, famously solved one of the world's most complicated math problems, the one-hundred-year-old Poincaré conjecture, and is now refusing to accept a $1 million prize from the Clay Mathematics Institute for doing so!
The 44 year old man apparently prefers to live in St. Petersburg, Russia with his mom and sister, and has been given the nickname Mathsputin.
HA!

According to neighbors:
"He always wears the same tatty coat and trousers. He never cuts his nails or beard. When he walks he simply stares at the ground, rather than looking from side to side."
"I was once in his flat and I was astounded. He only has a table, a stool and a bed with a dirty mattress which was left by previous owners — alcoholics who sold the flat to him."
However, there's no denying this man is a genius! Perelman solved the Poincaré conjecture in 2002, and it took YEARS for experts to confirm he was correct!!

When reporters attempted to contact him, he responded, "You are disturbing me. I am picking mushrooms."



We are officially in love with this guy.






(Since finding this article I have found some that were much more thorough and intelligent follow this link)

Now is that an autistic savant or what? Even if he is not a savant he is still undisputibly on the spectrum!

Friday, March 26, 2010

The I.E.P. Went Very Well, I Got What I Wanted

I got to speak with the advocate from the Autism Society first, right before the meeting, and she said that she had spoken to the district autism specialist for the schools and that he had some good things to say about Griffin's goals. So she didn't feel that there was anything to be worried about as far as Griffin losing services.

The resource teacher (RT) spoke most of the time as she was the one who was reading all the findings of the tests that had been run and there were lots! The Vineland and CARS and I cannot recall the others. They didn't have my copies ready to send home with me today but as soon as I get them I will post again and update on what was done. So, his teacher was there (Mrs. L) and the principal (P), the autism specialist (AS) and Griffin's case manager (Robert).

I set up the tape recorder right away and nobody had a problem with it. The meeting went smoothly and I found out a lot about how he behaves in school, how he must have his routine in school (big surprise there!), how he responds to his peers, how he needs a great deal of prompting in all that he does, he is superior to his peers in reading and spelling but delayed in reading comprehension, he is a happy child all in all and likes all of his peers but does not play with or parallel to them and there was some question as to whether he even notices them or not. Because Griffin has moments when he does not seem lucid but instead seems completely absent in thought and response the AS and the autism advocate from the Autism Society brought up that I should seriously consider having him tested for absent seizures or is it absence seizures? I have never heard of them but I am calling his doctor on Monday and making an appointment to discuss having the test run. Apparently, according to them, I would have to keep him up all night long and then take him in for an EEG when they will try to induce a seizure with lights and sounds.

The teacher Mrs. L did not have a lot to say throughout the entire meeting until the end when she did respond to me asking that there be more communication between us as to how Griffin is behaving, playing/or not, how he is doing academically, how he is eating (lack of eating could contribute to undesirable behaviors), and just overall whether he had a good day or not. I communicate with her and it is only fair to Griffin that she do the same. The autism advocate had so many great ideas and all of them were so useful and applicable. They were all geared to help Griffin to be more independent and to not be reliant on verbal or human prompts. Since the IEP will follow him into the 3rd grade it is important that he become more and more independent.

Homework!!! I got what I asked for and that was to be able to decide what is too much for him on any given day. If he is out-of-sorts and having an off day then maybe he is not able to do all his work or any of it for that matter. It will be up to me to decide and that is the way that it should be because I have tried everything possible to help him and nothing has helped him only made things worse. He even stopped responding to positive rewards and taking computer breaks and yes, I tried a visual schedule and a timer too. What a huge relief that is for both of us!

That is enough for now. I will update as I get the papers back and have more details from the IEP. I had my first Hippotherapy today (horseback riding therapy) and it was wonderful! My legs are going to be sore, it takes a lot of muscle work to stay erect on a horse and not fall off. It was amazing though. My horse's name is Mr. Pumpkin and he is a Halflinger, he looks like a small draft horse....gorgeous!

For the First Time, a Census of Autistic Adults


This is a great and encouraging article about adults living with autism. It gives hope that children with autism can live independent and productive lives. The statistics weren't really known until now so it is really good news that there are so many autistic adults out in the world functioning on their own. Just click on the link above.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

When Griffin Was Just A Little Guy

Here he is with his weighted vest on lining up chess pieces just perfectly. Now is that an autistic trait or what? I believe that he is under 2 years old here, it could be that it is right after his diagnosis which was at 18 months. The weighted vest worked wonders for him and helped to keep him calm. By this time he had had early intervention since age 15 months and it certainly made a huge difference! I am a big advocate for early intervention because I believe that Griffin would not be high functioning today had it not been for that.
Here is Griffin eating a little bit of everything which he used to do before moving from Alaska. He ate vegetables, fruit, and meat back then but once we moved and he turned 5 years old it stopped and since then he mostly eats carbs, a bit of fruit, some chicken, no more fish, hot dogs, and more carbs! Gone are the days of variety.....if he had his way it would be pizza every night and chips. I don't know what happened but that transition threw him for a loop I guess and changed his life around. But I have heard that many kids, not just autistic kiddos, eat lots of carbs and have limited diets. I am not sure if Griffin's preferences have to do with textures or not but it does seem so because he either likes very dry and crispy like chips or kind of spicy like pepperoni on his pizza. He is sensitive to temperature too. How many of your kids out there have very picky diets? Also if he has cheese, it has to be extra sharp and he likes the tangyness of vanilla yogurt too.

I think that by the way that he eats that his mouth likes to get a lot of information/stimulation from strong tastes such as lots of garlic on his noodles and he likes the taste of ginger too. When he crunches chips that is giving his mouth information through crunching. His Occupational Therapist discussed this with me a couple of weeks ago. Griffin has low muscle tone throughout his entire body including his mouth so when he eats certain foods he gets stimulated by them. In speech, we are working on the Sh, Ch, Th sounds and the forming of the Oh sound and Wh sound. This takes more effort for him than the average kid. But he has begun to correct himself when he is talking which is exciting, it means that he is interested in being understood when he talks.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Horseback Riding Therapy for Griffin

Yesterday was Griffin's second horseback riding therapy session. Here is a picture of the first lesson when he rides, Pumpkin. As you can see by the big smile on his face that he just loved it. I should have brought my camera yesterday because they let him ride backwards and sideways on the horse and even trot for a few minutes.....boy, did he ever love that!

My first riding session will be on Friday and I can't wait. We are only going to groom on the first session but that's okay, it will be therapeutic either way. Not much else to report because the IEP isn't until the 26th so I will update on that after it happens. Maybe Friday I will post after my first session. Got to head out to my therapist's office right now....where would I be if not for my therapist?

My Fibromyalgia is flaring up and my doctor deity gave me Nuvigil to take to give me energy and it lasts 15 hours! I still had to take a nap this morning but I feel good right now so I guess that it is working.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

CAFE Bonnie: Coffee Autism Faith Explored

CAFE Bonnie: Coffee Autism Faith Explored

This is a new blog that I discovered that Bonnie writes. She is the speaker, author, and the founder of National Autism Resources and she has a son who is on the spectrum. I found her blog to be very informative and quite enjoyable to read. There is no rambling and going on about personal problems but just pleasant insights and great resources.

I plan to highlight the National Autism Resources blog and business website very soon, so be on the lookout for that because they are fantastic and full of information as well.

Griffin was at his worst last night as far as getting his homework done. His behavior was not bad but he was just so distracted it was just horrible! I swear that I have tried every trick in the book: the timer, the schedule, taking breaks, taking away privileges, being firm, being super patient, reward system, doing work in the morning vs. doing it at night, always sitting with him to be there for help when he needs it and to help him focus, reminding him every 4 minutes to do his work and to stop staring out into space, I have tried giving him sensory time when he takes breaks like playing with play-doh or jumping on the mini-tramp or drawing or reading or whatever I can think of...... Nothing works!!!!

Anyone have any ideas? The IEP is scheduled for the 26th and the advocate from the Autism Society is going with me. We are supposed to meet for coffee soon to go over some information about Griffin beforehand. I am so eager to get this meeting started and done with to finally have some goals for Griffin. He has been without an IEP for a few months now and I know that is not legal but they did it. And before that he was on his 1st grade IEP because they wouldn't grant me the meeting that I practically begged for since August.

I am seriously thinking about changing schools in the fall to a school that has an autism program. Even though Griffin would be in a mainstream classroom he would have the expertise of the autism teacher within the school to use as a reference for his teacher. And maybe he would actually get to do some activities with the other autistic students. I will keep you updated.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Autism through the lifespan #1: Diagnosis Autism

Autism through the lifespan #1: Diagnosis Autism

Posted using ShareThis

Getting a diagnosis is often a life-altering event.
Part one of a nine-part series covering autism’s impact through the lifespan. Erika Beras, behavioral health reporter at WDUQ in Pittsburgh, reports.

Autism is a neural-developmental disorder characterized by social and communication impairments and repetitive or restricted interests. The rates of autism are drastically up – some years ago, it was 1 out of 10,000. Just a few years ago, it was 1 out of 500. When I started doing the interviews for these stories the rate was 1 out of 150. Since then, the CDC has released data that it now affects 1 in 110 and possibly 1 out of 100. That’s one percent.
So who are all of these people? Are these new cases? And why? Or are these children or adults who have never been diagnosed or were diagnosed with other things?
We’ll attempt to answer these questions. Along the way we’ll meet dozens of children and adults with autism – and their parents, teachers, doctors- in the Southwestern Pennsylvania area.
For anyone with autism, the journey officially begins with the diagnosis. But before you get a diagnosis, there are signs that something is amiss.
Parents usually notice the signs in the first two years of life.
Sherri Barnett, Joy McDaniel and Patti McCloud.
Sherri Barnett: My brother watched him one day and a friend of his came over, his son was autistic. He looked at my brother and he said ‘Do you know your nephew is autistic?’ And my brother went, ‘what the heck is that?’
Joy McDaniel: We were a military family and I noticed she was just different than the other children. Pleasant. Oh so pleasant, so sweet, so funny. But she didn’t have the vocabulary or like the, what’d you call, like baby-trash words. We went to the military hospital and went to see the pediatrician and he said, ‘No two children are alike.’
Patti McCloud: We have four grandchildren that were born in the same year in my family, I come from a family of ten so there are a lot of grandchildren. Jordan was born first in March and then there were three others born in the same year. Jordan was developing slower than all of the other kids.
Some children develop typically and then around age 3 seem to begin to regress- losing the language or motor skills they had learned. Experts say an ideal diagnosis should occur before age 3 and treatments, such as language and behavioral interventions should begin immediately afterward.
There’s not one symptom but a variety of symptoms. For example, some kids will have great eye contact but no language. And within autism there are different classifications. There’s classic autism, there’s pervasive developmental disorder, there’s Aspergers.
Diagnosis is based on behavior. There is no cause. There is no cure.
More and more it seems like autism is part of our national discourse. But for many of the people I talked to for these stories, autism was something they had never really heard of. Except in one case.
Rainman the movie: Raymond! Raymond! Am I using you Raymond! Yeah… Shut up! He is answering a question from a half-hour ago!
Lynn Cass: Oddly enough, the first movie my husband and I saw together when we were dating was Rainman and that was pretty much all I knew so when the pediatrician said to me, he might have autism, I said to myself, well he can’t have autism because he’s not…I looked it up online and I thought about what that movie was and I thought, oh, well that’s not him. And now, all these years later, I realize if you meet one child with autism, what you’ve met is one child with autism they’re all so vastly different.
That’s Lynn Cass whose son Alex, now 12, has autism.
Much of the last decade has been about her and her husband educating themselves about autism.
He is non-verbal and has his quirks but his parents say he has come a long way. Much of it the result of early intervention behavioral services. Experts say the earlier you get those services, the better the person’s long-term outcome.
In some cases though, a diagnosis may not come until the teen years. Pam Nocera’s son Vince is now 24. From the time he was a year old, she says he didn’t show any interest in interacting with other kids.
Pam Nocera: At the time, I asked questions, I had him tested at various places and nobody could ever tell me what the problem was because he wasn’t a behavioral problem in school, he was smart, his grades were good and those seem to be two things that when they are testing, they look at those two things for signs and he wasn’t exhibiting any of those signs so they weren’t able to tell me what was going on but as a mother I knew something was different.
It wasn’t until he was 15 that Vince was diagnosed.
Vince Nocera: I had uniquenesses about me that I didn’t exactly fit in so to speak with those directly around me, direct peers, but I never thought a great deal of it because in so many words, everybody is different anyway. So…yeah, but still, I did think that I would be unique to a point where it would be conspicuous.
Pam Nocera: Its weird cause its like, sometimes I feel almost easier to think, well, I have a son whose a little bit different, ok, I’ll deal with it but then you have a son whose different and this is an actual diagnosis that goes with it, it changes it up a little bit.
Increasingly there are adults getting diagnosed.
Caitlan Freedman: I was actually diagnosed quite recently. I’m thirty now, I was diagnosed at 29 and this was after several years of research on my part and trying to figure out what was going on because I knew that I was not processing information like other people and I’ve known this from a very young age.
That’s Caitlan Freedman. Asperger’s Syndrome, which she has, wasn’t an official diagnosis until she was 14. Although as a child she exhibited many signs, her parents were very protective of her and didn’t want labeled with anything.
Caitlan Freedman: At that point, autism as a diagnosis was a sentence for being institutionalized. And my parents knew there was something going on but they didn’t want to, I think, to pursue it as aggressively as maybe they should have.
She says it was sort of liberating getting a diagnosis.
Caitlan Freedman: I felt kind of relieved in that I never quite knew whether it was just all in my head because I had so many people tell me, “Oh your just not trying hard enough, oh, if you just tried harder to you know, talk with people, you’d do there’s nothing wrong with you, if you just put a little more effort into it – and I was putting so much effort, I was struggling so much.
Her partner Phil was diagnosed 6 years ago. He’s 46.
Phil Garrow: There was a time after I was diagnosed, there was a period of regrouping, there was a period of saying, OK. Here’s what it is and you are never going to get better from it. There was no amount of therapy, I had had about twenty years of therapy by that time.
It wasn’t an easy thing to hear.
Phil Garrow: I suffered a little bit of a depression, about a month after the diagnosis, to be able to come down and decide what I was going to do with my life now that I knew what the problem was.
For many people, a diagnosis is often coming after they’ve had a wrong diagnosis.
As a child Jeff Hudale was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Jeff Hudale: When the doctors did some EEGs and the like on me and they saw wait a minute these brain cells don’t match up with a schizo, its like, this is something different.
He was a teenager then and says the new diagnosis didn’t really have much bearing on him.

Jeff Hudale:
It was kind of I thought I had this and now I have that.
Its really unsure for some people what it actually means. For some it may be the end. Of sort of wondering and some uncertainty. But for others it’s kind of the beginning. Kim and Richard Antesinis’s nine-year-old son is severely autistic.
Kim Antesinis: We were kind of relieved because we had a diagnosis and we thought that would give us a path to follow and we could work on fixing it and have some resolutions. But there are no resolutions.
Richard Antesinis: The day it happened, it was devastating. The doctor told us our son would never speak to us. Would never be able to take care of himself or feed himself or use the restroom by himself or any of these kinds of things. And he was 16 months old.
Some parents say a diagnosis is sort of its own living entity. It changes with everything else around it.
Lynn Cass: I think that how you cope with a diagnosis evolves over time. I think its still evolving now. Because now that he’s 12 years old, now I’m starting to think about and worry about what is he going to do and be as an adult. Where will he live, what will he be able to do, who will take care of him. Friends of mine and myself we all say to one other, well, I've got to live forever, because who will take care of him 20, 30, 40 years from now.
Erika Beras reports on behavioral health issues for WDUQ in Pittsburg, PA.