A Picture of Me

My dear friend Tina had once mentioned that she wondered what I looked like so here you go Tina, a picture of me. This is me in Greece, I have no makeup on so you get what I really look like all natural. It's the only picture of me that I have that I am halfway happy with that shows the real me. Sure, I have pictures of me with makeup on looking a might better than this but since you are all my friends then I felt that I should be myself and show you my likeness unadulterated. So, for all of you who are reading this consider yourself tagged and let's see a picture of you. C'mon, it will be fun to do.

Griffin had OT on Wednesday and had a major meltdown throughout most of the session but once it was over he was fine. His behavior has been stellar here at home especially since it has been raining for so long and we have had to stay indoors to play. Of course we go out to take Abby but Griffin has to sit in the car while I walk her around the car at the park so that's no fun for him. Considering the amount of time that we have had to spend indoors he has been a happy little camper and playing beautifully with his toys, spelling with his magnetic letters and blocks, writing and drawing on his chalkboard, and of course singing and dancing to the music. Stephanie (the respite provider) has stayed with Griffin some for me and I have been able to run about and do some errands, thank goodness. Thank you Stephanie. School begins on Monday and as much as I have enjoyed spending time with him I do so look forward to having time to myself on a regular basis. Not only that but I am always very happy for him to have time away from me and in a different learning environment with lots of new stim each day.

Hope you are having a great day! Thanks for reading our blog and sharing in our day to day life, I'll be by to see you and visit your blog as soon as I can.

Things have been getting better lately for us. I tried the techniques that all my dear friends had recommended and they all worked!!!! I tried the bribery with the tiny M&M's which worked well because I would give him them immediately after he accomplished what I had told him to do for example putting on his shoes and jacket and going out the door. I would give him one with the completion of each task and he liked that of course and I did too because it made things go so smoothly. When he did the limp noodle bit I told him that I would drag him or he could walk and he still laid there on the floor so I dragged him out the door but the next challenge is getting him down a flight of stairs. So, I just waited until he at least sat on the top step and helped him to slide down on his rump. This did become quite tricky because at times he would manuver such that it would throw me off balance and I almost fell down the stairs. So, we are working on that part. I tried making a game out of it but he was already in meltdown mode and didn't want to laugh and play at that moment. The dragging worked great even though he made it look like I was torturing him horribly or like he was being a spoiled brat having a fit over something and let me tell you, that is how I felt. I felt like my child was being a brat and I nearly cried because I felt like I was being manipulated like a marionette. A puppet on a string is what it feels like lately and I must gain control over these situations. I also tried the : you do ___ and then you get____. I tried the: you do____ and you get to go to____ and it didn't work quite as well as I would have liked. I told him that if went out the door and to the car then we could go to (one of his favorite stores ie...Wal-Mart or Fred Meyers) but maybe my timing was off but he didn't respond to that as well. Funny thing is that it works for his teacher at school, of course. That is exactly what she recommended that I do when he does the limp noodle bit. Maybe he just knows that he can push my buttons and mommy will nearly cry and eventually attempt to carry him out the door. It's as though he gets some enjoyment out of me carrying him out the door and waiting for him to get down the stairs and then dragging him to the car. My higher thinking tells me that he is not enjoying any part of it any more than I am. I believe that this situation is a work in progress and I know that I have got to teach him that mommy's buttons are not going to be pushed and that he cannot manipulate me anymore! That said, I am going to continue to work on ME because I am the teacher and it is up to me to do what is best for him and for ME.
I greatly appreciate all the suggestions and I will continue to listen to them and to you, my friends, because that's what this whole blog thing is for me a network of friends helping one another.
As far as the sleeping goes, I started him back on the melatonin and it is helping him sleep through the night but I still give him the 1/2 Clonidine because the doctor told me that the Clonidine is supposed to be safer than anything else but I can't help but wonder that if it is so darn safe then why isn't it an over-the-counter drug like Benadryl. I should have asked him that but didn't think of it at the time. I am going to call him tomorrow and ask him or ask my pharmacist. Oh, by the way, the Calm Child did help to calm him down but didn't seem to help him sleep through the night. I will keep them on hand for days when he is feeling overwhelmed and perhaps a bit too energetic and bouncing off the walls.

Sleep Difficulty and Not Leaving the Apartment

I have decided that I would just take a break from giving Griffin the melatonin for about a week and see what happens when we start it back. I have been told that it should help make a difference. I went to the local health foods store and talked to the owner and she was quite helpful in that she recommended this tablet called Calm Child that has a mixture of several different herbs and vitamins/minerals in it to promote calmness (is that a word?). Anyhow, it does seem to help calm him before bed though it doesn't knock him out or rather help him to get sleepy. I have been enjoying some respite as Stephanie has been coming each evening and watching Griffin for me. I haven't done anything that great but it is just nice to have some alone time and peace and quiet outside the home. Griffin went to swimming yesterday and did a great job. I was just grateful that I got him out of the apartment because I have had some difficulty in getting him to leave the apartment lately. He does the limp noodle and he is too big for me to be able to pick him up and move him so for 2 days in a row he didn't leave the apartment. I have tried everything literally and could not get him to cooperate. I would appreciate any suggestions because maybe you can think of something that I haven't tried. I was able to get him out of the apartment this morning to go to my therapy session. It seems that it is easy to get him out of here if it is first thing in the morning before he is engaged in play but once he is into something I can just about forget trying to take him out of the apartment. I hope that this trend will end soon and that I can get him intersted in the reinforcers that I used to use that once worked. Tomorrow we have speech in the morning and OT in the afternoon so I am pretty sure that I can get him out in the morning and once we are out I will just stay out until it is time for OT. I will keep you posted.

Mommy's Feeling Much Better!

I was feeling so bad last week that I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to feel good again, didn't even think that it was possible. After talking with my ANP we had decided that to lower my nighttime meds (Seroquel) by 100 mg. should help me out quite a bit with my excessive daytime sleepiness and after several days it has helped me tremendously!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am very pleased to report that I am feeling much better, refreshed, and my mood is way better than before. No more feeling weird or like I am on drugs, just feeling "normal" with more patience and a happy attitude to boot. Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement they helped me through a rough spot and made life much more bearable for me.
Saturday I got to have some much needed "alone time" and that helped me out as well because Kathleen kept Griffin for me for 7 hours. Thank you so much Kathleen, you were a life saver for me and I don't know what I would have done without you.
On Sunday Griffin was full of energy and did very well all during the day but come evening he was still full of it and had a real hard time settling down. I couldn't get him to cooperate with me in taking Abby out for her evening walk nor could I get him to calm down enough to get sleepy and ready for bed. It seems lately that the melatonin has not been helping much at all so I skipped it and gave him the Clonidine instead. Well, he ended up fighting it pretty hard and he stayed up until almost midnight and my nerves were a wreck. I have got to do some research and find out if I can use more than 5 mg. of the melatonin so that I don't have to give him the Clonidine anymore because I hate giving him drugs. Does anyone know if it is safe to give a 4 year old more than 5 mg. of melatonin? Everyone, have a great and blessed day!

Mommy's not doing so well

Here's Griffin and Pisgah just hangin out together, Griffin is being kind of goofy for the camera. Lately he has been doing fairly well but I on the other hand have been doing , well...........kind of weird. I have been taking my medications for my Bipolar Disorder but they haven't been working that well for me. One of the two meds has been causing me to just feel really really strange. I feel like I am over-medicated. I have been told by numerous individuals that my movements are really really slow and that I talk slow too in fact, I do everything slow and that there is a stiffness about my movement too. I go to see my ANP on Friday the 11th so we shall see what she says about what to do about these darn medications. I have to have the daytime meds to keep my moods stable and I need the nighttime meds to help me to sleep otherwise I will become a manic insomniac who is on a constant roller coaster ride. If I don't have my meds I simply cannot take care of Griffin because I am such a mess. Even with the meds lately with the way I 've been feeling, it is a struggle to take care of him day in and day out now that he is out of school. I get no kind of break whatsoever. My respite provider, Stephanie, has not been available. I am going to call Kathleen and see if she will be able to help me out just for a short while so that I can have a break. The weather is still quite mild with the temperatures in the 60's and we have had quite a bit of rain this summer. We were still able to go to the playground for awhile today and play.

It's That Time of Year Again

I think that most parents could find this most useful in dealing with/navigating the school system not only for special education kiddos but for all other children as well. It is rather long but the information and suggestions are quite invaluable. Perhaps some of it may only apply to NT kiddos and their parents, but I think that it is well worth a read


Strategies for Effective Engagement with School Officials 1. Listen. Tune in to what your child says about the quality of his teachers. Children are often accurate. Schools that serve poor, Latino and Black children have a disproportionate number of unqualified teachers. If your child has unqualified teachers, fight to have his classes or school changed. Your engagement with school officials begins with your child. 2. Praise, honor and support good teachers. Tell and show them how much you appreciate what they are doing for your child. 3. Seek support. Do not suffer in silence. Find other parents who have experienced what you are going through. They may be able to help you resolve your issues. 3. Plan for meetings with school personnel. Never meet with them alone. Bring people, your pastor, friends, and family members. There is strength in numbers. 4. Deliberate. Take a reasonable amount of time to think about any school-related decisions. Do not allow school officials to pressure you into making rash decisions. Confer with family, clergy or parent/child advocates. 5. Attend and participate in school-related activities. Share your opinion.Volunteer. The staff should know you as a concerned and involved parent. When they know and respect you, they are more likely to know and respect your child. Likewise, when your child knows you are involved, he is more likely to behave and perform well. Things You Should Expect from the School System: 1. Request a copy of your child's school records. You have a right to any material in her official file. This is extremely important. You need to know what is being documented about your child - and in some cases what may be said about you, as a parent. Read the contents of the file with your child. 2. Visit your child's class during school hours. Give at least one days notice. You must avoid disruption. You should not attempt to speak with the teacher during this visit. Ask for a tour of the school. Your purpose is to observe the lesson, class and school climate. 3. Schedule appointments to meet with your child's teachers. Do not wait until the bi-annual parent-teacher conferences. Prepare specific questions before the meeting. Meetings may be scheduled for after regular school hours. This may allow for meaningful discussions and fewer interruptions. 4. Volunteer to work in the parent office. Each school should have at least one office dedicated to parents. Parent friendly schools will have Parent Reception or Resource Centers that are accessible during and after the regular school day. 5. Ensure school personnel are able to contact you. It is your responsibility to inform them when your contact information changes.You should not place this responsibility on your child. 6. Meet with appropriate school personnel to deal with concerns.Decide if it is necessary to meet the principal in order to get your matter resolved.Though the principal should be accessible to parents, it may not be possible to meet her immediately. You may expedite the resolution if you target the person who will ultimately be able to help you directly. 7. Attend workshops for parents. Parent friendly schools offer them regularly. These may include: Computer training, reading, writing, math, music, art, and others. 8. Attend school assembly programs that honor children. You may need to take a day or a few hours off from work. Programs may also be held on weekends and evenings. You should attend with your child even if she is not being honored. It may serve as a motivation for you and her while simultaneously showing support for other children and families.
Parents, Know Your Business 1. Meet with your child at the beginning of each school year. Discuss what he is expected to learn in and out of school. 2. Monitor your child's development. Do not rely on school tests to define your child's level of intelligence. Focus on whether he is acquiring life skills? How would he respond to unanticipated occurrences? Do you see and hear him thinking? 3. Seek help for your child through local libraries, community organizations, churches and non-traditional institutions. Consider peer tutoring as an option. It is an overlooked effective strategy. 4. Schedule meaningful activities for your child. These may include family trips to the park, museum, library, neighborhood walks, and volunteering at a local food pantry or shelter. Idle time for an active child is asking for trouble. Keep your child busy. Keep him physically, mentally and culturally engaged. 5. Stay active in your child's life. Children with active parents are less likely to be abused by school personnel. Child predators try to avoid the kind of attention involved parents bring. 6. Train your child to think. This does not happen in traditional schools.They train your child to pass tests. They train your child to conform. The school system discourages differences and independence. Children within dependent spirits generally do not function well in school without involved parents. Children who learn differently are often labeled and neglected. They are punished or despirited by a system that mandates uniformity and conformity. 7. Make certain your child's educational needs are met. Be a squeaky wheel.School officials do not expect you to be persistent. Call, write and visit daily if necessary. If the system labels or harms your child, make them pay for it. Seek legal counsel and take them to court. Charge them with educational neglect, deprivation and malfeasance.
Conclusion A tidal wave begins with a ripple. You serve as a ripple in your child's life. Join with other ripples (including committed and concerned school personnel) and make waves. When parents, community and school personnel are on the same page, working together, children thrive.
Bernard Gassaway is the former principal of Beach Channel High Schooland senior superintendent of alternative schools and programs for NewYork City and homeschool father. August 2006

On the way to swimming

Griffin had his last day of ESY(extended school year) yesterday and now the challenge begins. I must find ways to keep him occupied and keep my sanity too. An example of how tough it can be to keep him occupied and happy in a constructive way would be the example of what happened on Wednesday on the way to swimming. We passed by Best Buy where the week before we had gone in to look at some headphones but ended up buying a dvd for him. So, of course he remembered and instead of wanting to go swimming he all of a sudden wanted to go into the store to get a movie. He had a major meltdown, I had to practically drag him down into the dressing room and it took what seemed like forever for Gayle and me to get him undressed and put his swim diaper on. Gayle finally got him into the pool and he was still crying. I left for awhile to take Abby for a walk and when I returned he seemed to be enjoying himself but not to the fullest because he was still crying off and on. He didn't stop crying until we were headed toward the upstairs of the club and he was all better when we got to the vending machine where he announced that he wanted some Cheetos. I got Griffin the Cheetos and he had already forgotten all about Best Buy and getting a movie. We went home and he was fine for the rest of the day. Next week I am going to take a different route to the pool, one where he cannot see Best Buy on the way there. Whew, what a frustrating day that was! Take care my friends and I hope that all is well with you.

PLAY written on the chalkboard

Griffin's handwriting is improving greatly as you can see here. He even added dimension to it by outlining the word. I am so very proud of him. He also wrote after "PLAY", "Elmo in grouchland" all in very defined and ledgible letters. He is also holding the chalk properly in the tripod grasp. Griffin is quite proud of his accomplishments as he comes to get me to show me his work and I give him tons of praise of course. As you can see he is posing proudly by his work and being a ham at the same time. Hope that you all have a fantastic day!

2+2=4 , Happy Birthday to Me & Dad

Just a bit of news about Griffin and the computer, somewhere he has learned to type out 2+2=4. I have no idea where he learned this from because he didn't learn it at school (I checked with Kathleen) and I certainly didn't teach him because we haven't attempted that kind of math yet but it looks like he is ready for it 'eh? My little guy just never ceases to amaze me.

In other news, today is my 42nd birthday and what makes it extra special is that it is also my dad's birthday. So, happy birthday dad I sure wish that we lived closer so that we could celebrate our birthday together. Thanks for sharing your birthday with me, I love you dad.

Using the Toilet!!!!!

GREAT NEWS! Griffin used the toilet again all by himself! He was in the bathtub and I had walked out of the bathroom just for a moment and heard the toilet seat clank open so I ran back into the bathroom and much to my surprise Griffin was standing there peeing in the toilet. I gave him all kinds of praise and he stood there when he was done just gleaming with pride. About half an hour later he had gone in the bathroom again and tore off his diaper and was attempting to go again but nothing would come out but I gave him tons of praise anyhow. I am so very proud of my little guy, he is really growing up. Yesterday morning Griffin had an eye doctor's appointment and it did not go well. He ended up having a meltdown because they made us wait so dang long plus they dialated his eyes which I think may have given him a headache. I asked if we could avoid doing the dialation but the woman told me how important it was for the doctor to see behind his eyes and check them out. I was worried about his sensory issues and the light hurting his eyes but I caved in and let her put the drops in. Griffin's meltdown lasted about 2 hours even after we finally got home he was still quite upset. Do any of you know if it was absolutely necessary for them to dialate his eyes or not?????? What do you think I should have done? What would you have done? He is a happy camper today and just got on the school bus really well, happy as can be!!!! Hope that you're having a great day!

Speech, O.T., and You My Friends

Here is a cool pic of a griffin and one of these days I am going to sculpt one just like it. That is when I get motivated to do so. The weather is still on the chilly side, it is only 64 degrees here today and overcast skies. Not much of a summer that we are having this year but, I am not complaining because it still beats the heck out of sub-zero temps and lots and lots of darkness. At least we do have plenty of daylight even if it is overcast.

Griffin had speech yesterday with Lisa and he got a bit antsy and couldn't focus on the task at hand so Lisa would give him breaks which seemed to help. He did pretty good on the matching game (much like the game of "go fish") and seemed to be quite happy when he would make a match after asking me or Lisa if we had the card that he needed. Lisa thought that perhaps he was acting the way he was (restless and uninterested) because the task that she was asking him to do may have been a bit too difficult because he would stand there holding his ears in protest.
Griffin also had O.T. with Gayle yesterday afternoon. He was totally unfocused during his session but Gayle handled it very well (way to go Gayle!!!!!!!!) just like a pro. Both Lisa and Gayle are excellent in what they do and I know that I don't say it near enough but I do appreciate your hard work and dedication.

I hope that all of you visited Tina's (K.C.'s mommy) and shared with her some words of inspiration and encouragement, she can definitely use the support. I remember last December when I was having a crisis and all of you came to the resue and helped me out tremendously.
All of you may live far far away from me but, it doesn't mean that I care any less about you all and your families. You are my friends and I cherish you as such and I look forward to knowing you all much better as I read from your blogs each day/week.

Love to all of you and big hugs from Alaska

My Friend Needs Your Support

Please visit my friends blog Autism and KC, Tina could use your support right now she is going through a tough time. Her family has just lost a very dear friend in Israel and her parents are over there right now. As you know things are quite dangerous and violent in Israel and Tina and her family could use your support through prayers or just through a few kind words left as a comment. Thank you all and enjoy your day and I am borrowing the kind words of Melissa H. when I say "May the rain pour on your house but the sun shine in your heart" Is that kind of close Melissa? I got the gist of it didn't I? Melissa said that to Tina in her blog when Tina was wishing for rain since she lives in the desert.

We are doing great and everything is going really well. I don't have much time to write because Griffin wants to use the computer. He has been using the computer a whole lot lately and that is part of the reason I haven't been keeping things up-to-date and I haven't been visiting your blogs as much as I would like. I just wanted to let you all know that we are fine and that Griffin has been keeping me quite busy this summer. In the evening I will try to catch up on reading blogs and writing. Hope that all of you are doing very well and that you are having a great summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Swimming, Matching Game, and Puzzles

Griffin is doing so well in everything that he is doing lately. At the pool on Wednesday he actually swam for the first time to keep his head above water. Okay, so it was more like treading water but nevertheless he was swimming because he was paddling his legs and arms. Griffin had speech on Friday morning and he played a matching game much like the game of "concentration" where the cards are face down and you only pick up one at a time and turn it over until you have a match. Lisa, the SLP, said that Griffin has a photographic memory because he could remember the cards so well and where they were located. In the afternoon on Friday Griffin had OT with Gayle at the clinic and they played on an obstacle course that Gayle had put together. Lately, he has shown a lot of interest in doing puzzles and in particular a Sesame Street puzzle. So, what Gayle did was put the puzzle pieces all along the obstacle course so that Griffin would have to keep using his gross motor skills through the course in order to get the puzzle pieces. He had to work for each piece but he didn't seem to mind at all because he was so determined to complete the puzzle.

The weather has been a bit on the nippy side , it's only been in the high 50's and lower to mid 60's and cloudy most of the time. Today it is sunny and at 2:30 in the afternoon it is only 62 degrees so far with a breeze blowing. I can't recall in the 15 yrs. I've been living here that it has been so cool during the summer so it is quite unusual. I don't mind it so much since I am allergic to the sunlight it sure makes life easier for me that I don't have to hide from the sun all day long. That's all folks, hope you're having a great weekend.

Normal People Scare Me

This is a film that you don't want to miss and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Normal People Scare Me, is a poignant film about what it is like to be autistic straight from the mouths of the children (and some adults). It is particularly moving because there's nothing left to the imagination, it is raw and real, it is honest and candid but most of all it will make you shed a few tears. Just the theme song alone (performed by Taylor Dayne) had me bawling. This is a documentary film that is like no other that I have seen because it was put together by a 17 year old autistic young man and what a brilliant young man he is indeed! I urge you to buy this DVD and to peer into the minds and hearts of these beautiful young souls who share their everyday experiences with us. This film will leave you with a new understanding of what autism is all about and with a feeling that will not leave you. Maybe I am just a softy and a bit mushy but I really do think that even if you don't find yourself crying a little bit you will still be left with an impression of how these individuals (and your own child) struggle every day, not that you are not already aware of it. I just wanted to share this information with you and let you know that I highly recommend this film for everyone who even is remotely associated with autism, you will not regret it. If you would like to order a copy just go to the link above and there's all the information that you need to order online. If you want to order it by mail then let me know and I will post the address. Hope that you are enjoying your day and have a safe 4th of July holiday.

Jigsaw Puzzle at OT

Griffin is doing wonderfully in his ESY and seems to be much happier since going back to school. Today he went to OT swimming and did a great job of paddling his feet and going underwater. The other day at OT (at the clinic) Griffin put together an "I spy" floor size jigsaw puzzle (35 pieces) with a little bit of help from Gayle but mostly he did it by himself.

The weather has warmed up a bit, it finally got into the 60's with sunny skies and no rain, YIPEE! So, we are enjoying the nice weather and playing outside a lot. That's about it for today, not much else to report. Things are going really well for us. Have a great day!

Extended School Year (and he's going to love it.)

Yesterday I wrote out this really long post and had it all ready to be published and, BOOM the electricity went out and I lost everything and now I can't remember what I had written. So, today I am just going to write whatever comes to mind. Today was a good day we took Abby for her usual two walks during the day and we went by the school that Griffin will attend for ESY to see his teacher, Kathleen and to play on the playground. Since Kathleen was his teacher for the last school year and he will be going to the same school as he did last year then there wasn't a problem with him having to get used to anything new, which is a blessing indeed. We had a good day together and tomorrow he will begin ESY in the afternoon. I am excited for him because I know for sure that he has been missing school for the past month. Lately, I am happy to report that he has been playing on the playground instead of wandering around aimlessly. I took him to a playground and as pictured here had discovered that his favorite thing to do was to climb and climb he did all over the place. Griffin's second favorite was swinging and then as the swing slowed down he liked to drop out of it and then he says, "Griffin, are you okay?" that is until I repeat it back to him. So, he is still perseverating some and I do try not to reinforce it if I just stop to think about what I am doing/saying. I want to say "Congratulations to my dear friend Tina whose son, K.C. just said MaMa for the very first time ever the other night. You can read about it here on her blog: Autism and K.C. I dare you to not cry from feeling overwhelmed with happiness for the two of them. Well, it is way past midnight and morning comes terribly early when Griffin goes to bed on schedule. OH yes, it has been an exceptionally wet summer for us unseasonably cool I think for this time of year, in the 50's for the better part of this past week. Gota go my eyelids are getting, very , very, heavy and I am getting very very sleeeeepy.

Protesting Against the Pool

For the very first time yesterday, Griffin had a meltdown and didn't want to go to swim at OT. I was amazed at how he fought us as we tried to get him interested in getting into the pool. All he could say was, "I want to go to Fred Meyer." That is a store that he likes a lot because it's where he gets his Dora toys. In spite of me explaining to him that we could go to Fred Meyer after the pool he still kept up his protest. I was wondering if maybe it is because we had moved his OT from Tuesday to Wednesday and he noticed the change in schedule. I didn't have a visual schedule for him to take with us to show him the order in which things would happen because he has always been so very happy to go to the pool. My mistake indeed. Perhaps if I had one he would not have been such a little rebel. Finally, between Gayle and myself, got his swim diaper on and got him into the pool and of course he had fun and was very cooperative with Gayle but toward the end of the session he started again with the, "I want to go to Fred Meyer" bit. He began to protest when trying to take off his swim diaper and then trying to dress him or rather to try and get him to dress himself. Yea right, he wasn't having anything to do with dressing himself. We always get something out of the vending machine on the way out of the athletic club and that made him really happy. So, then we go to Fred Meyer as I had told him that we would but this time he wasn't getting a toy. Of course that made him unhappy and he started again but this time I think that it was mostly him having a bit of a tantrum just because he didn't get his way. I was relieved to find that by the time we got home he was fine and he was perfectly happy the rest of the day and didn't ask to go back to the store or for a toy. He even went on our usual walk with Abby without any problems whatsoever. Today we stayed in most of the day because of the rain and then later we went to speech where he did pretty good. No meltdowns, or tantrums no asking to go to Fred Meyer just a moment or two where he decided to get on the floor and not be a good listener. Otherwise, he had a great day and seemed to be his usual happy camper sort of guy. Anyone have any ideas or suggestions on what could have worked better than what I did or did not do? By the way, have a great day and a super weekend.

Griffin Used The Potty All By Himself

This is so exciting that I can hardly type fast enough to get it all out. After Griffin's bath tonight I was sitting next to the tub drying him off when he turned and pointed himself toward the bathtub and started peeing. I quickly grabbed him and lifted up the toilet seat and directed him toward the toilet and told him to pee in the potty. By then he couldn't go any longer and I wasn't sure if he got the message or not but I soon realized that he was trying really hard to make the urine come out so that he could please his mommy. So, eventually I put a clean diaper on him and he commensed to play in the living room. My back was to him and I heard his diaper come off and then I heard the toilet seat go up so I ran into the bathroom and there he was peeing very carefully into the toilet. I gave him tons and tons of praise and he grinned really big to show me how proud he was of himself and I am so very proud of him!!!!!!!!!! My little guy is growing up so darn fast, I just can't believe it.

Griffin's First Pony Ride, Happy Father's Day

Griffin rode a pony for the first time yesterday and he sure did love it. From the very first minute that he got on that pony's back he started laughing and didn't stop until long after he was off. That's not me beside the pony by the way, I was taking the photos.

It's been raining here off and on the past few days so we've been stuck inside but when we are able to we take advantage of the beautiful weather taking Abby for long walks and playing on the playground.

I hope that all the fathers out there had a wonderful Father's Day and that you feel the love from you NT kiddos but especially from your autistic children. Hopefully, you will have shared special and touching moments every day and all the days in the future not just on this day. I want to say to my father that I am grateful for having him as a dad and that I couldn't have imagined having a better father in my life. I remember in high school, some of my fondest memories of us together, working on my 1969 Mustang convertible. I loved getting all dirty and greasy and working with him on doing engine repair and body work. It was so nice to be able to bond with my dad in that way. I don't know that I appreciated it that much then but I sure do cherish those memories now. Unfortunately, I wasn't the easiest child to raise, almost always getting into some kind of trouble and giving my parents a hard time and for that I am sorry. At least though, I grew out of it and have learned my lessons in life at a young age and had the guidance of my parents to steer me in the right direction. I attribute my success as a good and decent human being and mother to the fact that my parents were strict with their discipline and tough on me because had they not been so strict I think that I would still be getting into trouble. So, I want to thank my dad for always being there for me through thick and thin and sticking by his rules making sure that I was a productive member of society. Thanks dad for showing me what it means to be loved and how to love back even though it was usually tough love, it was still your way of showing me that you care. On this day, Father's Day, I salute you dad and all that you have done for me not just when I was a child but as an adult you have lead by example how to truly love someone like you love my mom a dedication and devotion that shines like the sun. Happy Father's Day dad!

My Nightmare

I am the happiest and the most fortunate mommy on the face of this earth, no wait.....in the universe. I am so grateful for all that I have but most of all for this beautiful little creature named Griffin. He brings me so much joy and delight that I can hardly think of anything negitive to say. I guess you could say that I have a renewed perspective since my nightmare last night. I woke up terrified because I had a dream that Griffin died. The absolute worst nightmare that I could have possibly had because it not only happened and seemed much too real but it was also my fault. Apparently I had tried some sort of cure autism medication/medical proceedure and he ended up dying from it. It is all so vague now but I am left with the feeling that still chills me to the bone. So, today I am a new mommy and I appreciate my child more than ever that nightmare really hit me where it hurts and I shall swear before all of you on everything sacred to me that I will never take my child's life and well being for granted. Not that I did before last night but gosh darnit, I don't know how to make myself understood. Does any of this make sense to anybody else? Imagine a nightmare so horrid and how you might react and how you might feel after waking up in the morning. I definitely gave my guy extra hugs and kisses all day and lots of snuggles this evening. I am not telling you folks about this dream because I have something against people who want to try medications/medical proceedures in an attempt to cure autism because it's not my place to judge them. I am merely describing my nightmare and that's it. To end on a positive note: I love my special guy and he loves me and that's all I need to get me through the day and night. Regardless of some weird, off the wall, hellacious dream.

I Stand Corrected, Abby the Service Dog

My friend Peggy Lou Morgan has the best information about service dogs in one of her posts . In this post there is a link to the Delta Society and Arf Kids also to her website. It was mentioned to me that I probably should have stated in my blog that for every individual/child the service dog serves different needs, that their use is dependent upon the child's needs. Forgive me for giving incorrect or misleading information. I should have just said that it is not the role of Griffin's service dog to keep him from going out into the street because she wasn't trained for that purpose. I trained her myself and she was rescued from the animal shelter and I have been very fortunate that she is so docile and obiedient. Although Abby is very aware of what Griffin is doing at all times she was not trained to do anything directly for him however for some people that is not the case and the service dog is required to work for/toward a specific goal(s). I don't mean to insult anyone's intellegence because everyone knows that a service dog does perform certain tasks for individuals, I just wanted to clarify that just because it's not so for Griffin that it's not usually the case. I hope that made sense. If you just go to Peggy Lou Morgan's blog you will find that she explains things much better than I have. I guess that I am having an off day and am having a hard time making myself clear and getting across my point the way that I want. Also, I didn't mean to imply that I had to go through a government agency it's just that I carry that information with me to show to people the state's laws pertaining to service dogs. Griffin's pediatrician had to write a letter in order for us to have Abby in our apartment because we rent but outside of that , in Alaska it is not necessary to carry any kind of proof that she is a service dog. That is what I meant in my last post. Sorry folks for the misinformation it was unintentional and I am happy to have been corrected. Here are a few more links to check out from Peggy Lou Morgan's blog Penny Lane's purpose (service dog) and General Information for Service Dogs also Billy Ray and Penny Lane, service dog .
Kyra, Peggy Lou mentioned that you might try to e-mail the woman at Paws-Abilities for information on training your own dog or for information on a book that might be helpful.

Abby the Service Dog

This post is in response to Wendy's questions about Griffin's service dog "Abby". What would Abby do if Griffin suddenly bolted into traffic? What's her purpose?

Abby wouldn't do anything if Griffin darted out into traffic because she is not meant to protect him, that is not the purpose of a service dog. Her purpose is to merely be there for him as a constant companion. Abby doesn't need to do anything directly for Griffin her presence alone does the trick for him. When Abby is around Griffin is just more grounded and centered I can't even explain it. If you are thinking about getting a dog to train as a service dog or if you can get one that is already trained I think that you will find a marked improvement/change in not only C's behavior but also in your other children as well, that is if you don't already have a dog. Animals provide something very special for autistic and NT kiddos alike, something that just cannot be explained. The history of why we got Abby is that I had noticed when my friends dog was around Griffin (when he was about 2 years old) he had stopped his self injurous behaviors and he had less stimming and he was significantly more verbal. As soon as the dog went away all his behaviors returned. I looked into getting him a service dog that was already trained but the woman who trained the dogs said that Griffin was still too young for one of her dogs. So, I did some research and found out that in Alaska it is not necessary for a "service" dog to be professionally trained just as long as the dog was well behaved in public it could be considered a service dog. I aquired the necessary papers through the Disability Law Center that was a letter from the Attorney General that had the state's laws, the rules and regulations for businesses and public places and how they had to abide by these laws. I carry them in my purse just in case there is ever a problem but with the vest on her I typically have no problems with anyone. Abby has been in the hospital with Griffin to visit me, she has been in the cabin of the airplane to fly with us, in restaurants, and everywhere/anywhere that Griffin goes. I highly recommend that you read "Parenting Your Complex Child" by Peggy Lou Morgan if you are interested in getting a service dog because she has some excellent information in there specifically about service dogs. She does a much better job than I do at explaining how service dogs can be so very helpful to a child/individual with special needs or as she likes to call them: extraordinary needs. Please let me know if you have any additional questions and don't forget to Have a great day!!!

Griffin's Independence

I forgot to mention in my last post that I have also called the 911 dispatch and told them that I have a 4 year old autistic child in my home so that if anything were to happen they have on record that he is here and what to expect in the case of an emergency. It is my understanding that the fire fighters and the local police force have all been trained in what to do with an autistic child in an emergency situation.

I would like to brag a bit about Griffin's independence lately. He has not only show that he can function independently but is also very compliant with me, cleaning up his toys with only one request, putting items in the garbage or in the sink with only one request also. Griffin has been going to bed nicely in his own (new) bed all by himself without snuggles and even without any type of encouragement, and he stays in his bed all night long I am so very proud of him, he is doing such a fantastic job. Even though he is bored he still has an excellent disposition (bright and sunny) and tends to keep himself occupied regardless. Griffin is such a trooper, so patient and tolerant, he really is progressing nicely. Now that he is out of school for awhile there is great potential for him to have excessive energy that he doesn't know what to do with but he still remains quite stable as far as his moods go and has had meltdowns few and far between. We've been going to the playground just about every day and we take Abby (the service dog) for a walk twice a day every day and sometimes go to the store. That's about it for now folks. Hope that you're having a great day just as we are.

My Fears and Griffin's Safety

This a post about my greatest fears and one of them is me losing grasp of his hand and having him run off into traffic or getting lost. That is why, shown here, Griffin has on this harness with a leash. When we go out in public and he is not in a cart like in the grocery store, then I put this harness on him just in case. He is quick and when he has gotten loose from me I could barely catch up to him. I don't even care what people comment on when they see him in it or what they think because his safety is way too important for me to care about them. Another one of my fears is if we had a fire in our apartment and even though his bedroom is right next to mine I often wonder if I would be able to find him. What if he became disoriented and began to wander about or crawled under something. It really really scares me because he has no sense of fear himself, he doesn't understand danger at all.
As with any other caring and concerned parent I wonder about these things and hope to protect my child the best that I can. However, there are times when I feel helpless at the thought of something happening. I have put 2 extra smoke/fire alarms up, one in each bedroom in order to better help warn me in the event of a fire but I sure wish that there was something else that I could do to help me feel that he/we are safer. I even put an information packet on the front door explaining Griffin's autism so that the first responders would know, and hopefully are properly trained, that an autistic child is inside and how to best deal with the situation. I also have all the emergency information posted on the inside of the front door with phone numbers of those to contact in case of an emergency. It also states that Griffin may run away from someone offering help, he doesn't understand danger , and that he may fight with someone offering help. Are these fears rational? Or am I just a wacko lunatic who happens to be paranoid? Regardless of all my fears I try hard to allow Griffin his freedom and as much independence as possible because I know how important that is for his development.
If anyone has a comment or you have words of support to help alleviate my fears then I say "Bring it on" please, by all means. Love to you all and hugs :)

Remembering the Love

Isn't it such a beautiful thing to watch your child sleeping? They are so angelic and peaceful. I don't know which I like better, taking pictures of him laughing and playing or sleeping. I guess that they each have their own appeal because they are both so precious in their own way. With every photo that I take I fall in love with him over and over again. The photos remind me of how fortunate I am to have such a wonderful child and within each image there lies the essence of what life is all about, the beauty of this innocent soul. I count my blessings each and every day and do my best to not take him or his unconditional love for granted. When Griffin has undesirable behaviors I tend to forget temporarily that he is the reason I live and breathe that he is the epitome of why life is so precious and worth living but I always snap out of it and remember why I love him so and why I was put on the face of this earth. There lies a part of me that I can always love and care for no matter how frustrated I might become at times with him. I have a friend who is struggling with her child's autism and how badly it effects him and boy do I feel for her because I do recall hating autism and what it caused my child to do like hurting himself. There have been times when I not only hated his autism but hated being Bipolar and what it has done to me. It was a challenge for me for years but now I have come to accept it, of course being on the right medications has made all the difference in the world for me. I would like to tell my friend that it's okay to be angry and hate the autism because it is a natural response to what she is experiencing with her child. Also that it may pass in time and she may come to accept it as part of their lives but in the meantime I encourage her to continue being the wonderful mommy that she is and never forget to give herself credit for taking such wonderful care of her son. For those of you who are going through the stage of hatred and anger just remember to do as my friend does and keep the focus on the child and not the autism. Also remember that there is hope for things to be different in the future. Griffin is a living example of how far children with autism can grow and develop. He has come a long way but it has taken time, it didn't happen overnight. I attribute his success to the remarkable therapies that he has had and the education he gets at school. I think that what has made the biggest difference is the Early Intervention that he has had since age 15 months until 3 years old. It gave him the head start that he needed to grow and learn and have the structure and routine that he needed to help him develop.

I have had 10,408 visits to the blog since November 10, 2005 and I would like to say thank you to everyone who visits this blog. I hope that you are enjoying reading about Griffin and myself and all the experiences that we have each week. Hopefully you are able to take something with you from this blog that is useful to you in some way. Take care my dear friends and have a great day!

The Picnic and A Tub of Water

Yesterday we went to the "end of school" picnic for the autism classroom. There was the families, the staff, and friends there and I even met a former student of Kathleen's (the teacher) who I couldn't even tell that he's autistic or even ever was autistic. He seemed like a regular NT kiddo to me, he was about 7 or 8 yrs. of age and quite articulate. His mother reported proudly that he didn't start talking until age 5 yrs and now he is as verbal as any other child his age. It was encouraging to see this child doing so well, it seemed that the only major issue they faced was that he is a very picky eater and still has issues with food. At least that was the only issue at the moment. It was nice to be around so many other parents of autistic children and connect with them. Makes me wish that there was a picnic like every 3 months or so or some kind of meeting so that we could support each other and share our stories. Kathleen is an awesome teacher and Karen as well as Ed are pretty darn incredible as teacher's assistants. Together they make for happy and successful classroom of students including and especially my Griffin Blaise.

I think that this picture came out pretty cool looking. It's of Griffin in a tub of water that I had made for him because it was hot outside and we didn't have a kiddie pool for him to play in. I thought about getting on of those inflatable kind but they are kind of expensive for our budget and the summer just doesn't last that long here to make it worth it to spend that kind of money.I can't get one of the cheapy kinds because I don't have a vehicle to haul it in nor do I know someone who has a truck. Anyhow, if I can find a way to splurge then I will get him a pool but for now he enjoys having the tub of water (it's actually a storage container) to splash in and cool off. He doesn't seem to mind that it is rather small just as long as there's enough water in it to cover his little body when he sits down in it.

O.T. with Gayle

Griffin is in his Tuesday O.T. at the pool and he is really relaxed and trusts Gayle completely, He doesn't even mind when he accidently goes underwater even if he is coughing. I am so proud of him and of how great he's been doing. Thanks to Gayle for doing such an incredible job with Griffin and for being so patient and compassionate in dealing with him. He has grown in leaps and bounds since he has been working with her. There are so many different ways in which he has excelled, one of which is while he is in the water. At home he has shown me that his self help skills are improving greatly and needs little motivation to get things done. Griffin needs only to be asked once to do something such as with cleaning up and he happily complies. He is growing up so fast.

This is Griffin in O.T. with Gayle and you can tell that he is having a great time which is almost always the case, it is rare that he doesn't want to cooperate with her. Gayle is so great with him and seems to know exactly how to deal with Griffin so that he has fun and learns at the same time. Here he is kind of goofing off on the rope ladder by sitting down and taking a break but he loves climbing on it and it is really good for his gross motor skills.

Nancy Lake

Yesterday we went to Nancy Lake with Kathleen and her husband Carl and had a blast especially Griffin. The above picture is of them on the raft behind the boat Griffin loved that of course.

Here Griffin is in a kayak and it looks as though he knows what he is doing and I don't know where he learned to do it 'cause it wasn't from me. I am thinking that he remembered seeing it on his Zoboomafoo video where Martin and Chris are in kayaks. It was a beautiful day and we are grateful to Kathleen and Carl for taking us and to Ed and Lori for having us. It made an otherwise boring weekend into a really nice time away from the apartment. That's about it folks, hope that you had a great weekend and that you are having a good day today.

This is a wizard that I sculpted from clay years ago when I was pregnant with Griffin, he is about 6 inches tall. I wish that you could see the detail in his face and hands. Anyhow, I have posted this picture of him because I have started sculpting again and wanted my friends to see what I have done and for them to give me their opinions on what they think of him. I would like your opinion too. Tell me what you think of the wizard and maybe give me a suggestion of what I should make next. I am thinking along the lines of a mermaid or an old crone. I like creating pieces with lots of detail so keep that in mind when you give me your suggestions. Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.

In other news, the weather in Anchorage is absolutely gorgeous! It has been in the 70's with a nice breeze blowing and everything is so green and plush. So, for those of you who think that it is only cold up here all the time remember that we have far more sunlight than the lower 48 states which means that it gets quite warm. Anchoraage is in southcentral Alaska and the weather stays relatively mild compared to the more northern parts of the state, like Fairbanks that can reach temperatures in the high 90's and above and the sun will stay out for 24 hours on summer solstice. Enough of the useless facts about Alaska that you may have not even have been interested in in the first place.

My Baby Is Growing Up

Doesn't he look so mature here? Griffin is growing up so fast it is just unbelievable. It makes me cry just to think of it. As I have said before, he becomes less autistic every day it seems or should I say that he shows more signs of being NT as time goes on? It just amazes me the things that he comes up with. Kathleen told me that he saw a Coke sign behind where he was sitting at Mc Donald's and it said in big letters "Ice Cold". Griffin turned around and read it and looked at Kathleen and said, "I'm not ice cold". Now is that incredible or what? I had no idea that he could come up with such a statement, that he would understand what the sign meant and state that he wasn't ice cold. Don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of things that he does that are autistic but such things as meltdowns and sensory issues are becoming less and less common as time goes on. If it sounds like I am bragging then you would be right! I am so perfectly proud of my litlle guy all I want to do is boast about him. OH yea, and another biggie is that today I heard the toilet seat slam, I ran in there and he had taken off his pants and diaper and put his potty seat on the toilet seat and got up on there to go potty all by himself. I had stepped out of the bathroom momentarily to get a diaper and Griffin came to get me to show me what he had done in the potty and he was just beaming. He was so darn proud of himself. Way to go Griffin, you big boy you!

School Is Almost Out

The end of school is near and I am trying to think about what the heck I am going to do with Griffin to fill our days. Since he doesn't necessarily like the playground and doesn't play on the equipment even if I play with him, then I am left wondering what we will be doing. We take Abby for a walk twice a day now and try to do as much outdoors when the weather is nice but there is only so much one can do with a 4 year old who likes to run off. I have one of those harnesses with a leash that I strap on him if I want to go for a walk with him because if I don't he will take off and be out in the road in no time and I am not fast enough to catch up with him. When we go to take Abby for a walk I put him in the stroller because I can't handle a dog and a 4 year old all at once. There are things that we can work on inside but each activity only takes a few minutes to complete, we have music to sing and dance to but I was wondering if anyone else has any suggestions on what to do. In the meantime I will be in search of new things for us to do.

Two Great Pictures

This is Griffin using Pisgah as a pillow. Poor ol' Pisgah is so tolerant and patient with Griffin he has got to be the best cat that I have ever had because he is such a trooper.Oh, and by the way, Griffin doesn't hurt Pisgah I watch them carefully when they are together so that both of them are safe. Then there is the other picture where Griffin was putting the telephone up to Elmo and pretending that Elmo was talking on the phone. Just thought that I would share a couple of pictures that I got the other day that I thought were exceptionally good. Hope that you enjoy them too. What's the latest with us? Well, Griffin is still getting up at 5:00 in the morning even though he went to bed last night at 9:00 and had taken his melatonin too 5 mg. It seems to knock him out but he isn't sleeping as long maybe because that is about the time that the sun comes out and he is sensitive to the little bit of light that comes through the window. I have a couple of blankets over the window in order to make it as dark as possible in there but it isn't perfect, I guess that I need to staple the blankets to the wall in order to keep ALL of the sunlight out. In other news, I am sculpting again and am actually quite surprised at how well it is coming along. The last time I had my hands in clay was when I was pregnant 4 years ago, almost 5 . As soon as I have completed my project I will post a picture of it. Griffin has been quite mellow lately and has not had a meltdown since our flight to Anchorage from Minneapolis back in the middle of April and heaven knows that he certainly did have the right to have one then. The poor lil' guy had a fever, felt horrible I'm sure, had already been flying for a few hours and had frankly had enough of all the outside stimultation. Anyhow, it has been a month and no meltdowns! What a great lil' guy he is and such a happy camper. He is doing well in school, at speech, and at O.T. which I will post about soon. Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!

At The Playground

This is Griffin at the playground that's in the park where we go to walk Abby each day. He usually doesn't go down the slide but he does enjoy the vestibular activity where he goes around in circles at a relatively high rate of speed. I turn him around and around and he never gets dizzy nor does he ever want to stop. When he gets off of it he doesn't stumble or act like he has lost his balance, it is truly amazing. Griffin often asks to go to the playground but doesn't play for very long which is a good thing for me in the summer heat since I am allergic to the sun and have to stay out of it as much as possible. Right now, it is perfect weather for me because it is in the 50's and I just love it. It is so nice and cool with a nice breeze going some days and after walking for a bit I warm up and feel just fine. I was wondering if anyone else's child(ren) goes to the playground but doesn't seem to want to play? Some days he will just kind of wanders around aimlessly and I feel as though our trip has been wasted. Maybe you could share some of your experiences of the playground with me so that I might understand why Griffin doesn't really want to play.

Thanks To My Mother

As Mother's Day approaches I think of all that I am grateful for having such a wonderful mother that I do. I begin to remember the tough times as well as the most beautiful ones and it gives me pause to think how fortunate I really am. My earliest memories are of times of comfort and affection, receiving hugs at night and a sweet kiss on the forehead and I just knew that I was truly loved. I recall a time when I was really sick as a child and had to be hospitalized because the doctors didn't know why I had been vomiting and although I don't remember many details I do recall that it wasn't a bad time for me because my mother was always right there by my side. There was the times that us kids were probably quite annoying to my mom, after all there was three of us and at times we didn't want to leave her alone. Once when my mom wanted to go to the grocery store and us kids were hounding her to go with her and I remember her saying something to the effect of, "Can't I go anywhere without you kids?" at the time I didn't understand and it hurt my feelings but I do understand now because my mom must have felt overwhelmed and needed some space especially since she was with us 24/7 every day of the year without a break. I know what it's like to need space and time alone and how essential it is to good mental health. My mom must have desperately needed some time alone and we weren't about to give it to her so easily. Now I can laugh about times like these and relish the memories of the more pleasant times because being a mom myself I can relate to what my mother must have been going through. During the day of honor to our mother's I would like to say that I could never had a better mother than the one that I was so blessed with and even though I may not have understood why things were the way they were at the time, I do understand now that my mother was the most caring, affectionate, loving, and generous mom that I could have ever imagined having. I realize that it's not Mother's Day yet but I ask, why must it be just one day out of the entire year? My mother deserves praise and adoration throughout the year so here's three cheers for my mom and all that she has done for me from the discipline to the sweet kisses on the forehead she is my #1 and I just want to say "Thank You" and that I hope that I can be as good a mother as she has been to me.

Griffin's Haircut

Not much to report but I did want to at least post a picture of Griffin's haircut. Isn't he a cutie? Griffin has been sucking on the neckline of his shirts constantly and I don't know what to do to get him to stop. Gayle, the O.T. and I tried the NUK oral thingy(don't know what it's called) but he chewed it up into bits. We have tried chewing gum and he has lost interest in it and only licks it now. She has mentioned chewy tubes which might work at least temporarily. I hope so. Here in the photo you can tell that his shirt is wet and that's why. Nothing else going on, no news is good news. We are doing great and life is good.

Griffin's First Train Ride

Today we went to ride the train and Kathleen, Griffin's teacher, came along. It was a free trip because the railroad was having an open house today and even though it was rather short it was still pretty neat. Griffin seemed to like it as he was looking out the window but what he liked the most was the free balloon and popcorn. Before the trip on the train Kathleen and I took Griffin to get his hair cut at the barber's shop. The barber was really good as he worked as quickly as he could in getting it done. Griffin screamed a little and squirmed here and there a bit but for the most part I think that he did a good job sitting still. It took about half an hour and cost $15.00. I don't know if that is the going rate for little boys' haircuts but it seemed pretty fair considering what the man had to tolerate while cutting Griffin's hair. I am sure that it takes a tremendous amount of patience to not only to cut his hair but to deal with two women trying to hold him all at the same time. He looks so cute/adorable with his new short hair, I will post a picture of him in the next post. Meanwhile, I am going to go and read my favorite blogs.

Update on the Ears

Well, I figured out why Griffin was holding his ears and it wasn't a sensory issue or a medical issue. He was doing it to manipulate mommy. I learned that he was doing it to manipulate me when Stephanie (the respite provider) and I put him to the test. I turned on my TV and left his TV on and Stephanie distracted him by playing with him while I sat at the computer. He held his ears briefly but as soon as he was having fun he stopped. When he stopped I gave him lots of attention and praise and it hasn't happened since. Now he goes on his merry way while I have my TV on in the kitchen and there's no more covering of the ears. Everything remains the same as before so I can't see how it could have been a sensory issue. Also, I spoke with my friend Amy who said that her son, Noah, used to do the same thing. If Griffin had continued to hold his ears I would have taken him in to see the doctor but now I don't think that it is necessary. Besides, I think that if he was in a lot of pain that his behavior would have changed and that wasn't the case. Anyhow, I think that he is fine and I make sure that he gets plenty of attention while I am watching my TV and /or I am on the computer and it seems to be the right remedy for the situation. In other news, I am reading "Parenting Your Complex Child" and it is one of the most informative and insightful books I have ever read. So far one of my favorite parts is chapter 14 , Creating A Community For Your Child. It is about how it can be made easier for you and your child to be out in public and how to deal with those individuals that seem to stare and the ones who make comments. It also shows you how to deal with restaurants, grocery stores and even how to deal with haircuts plus so much more than that. I felt so connected to the author, Peggy Lou Morgan, that I began to shed some tears and get a lump in my throat. By the way that she writes it is as if you are in those shoes, she knows exactly what we go through with our 'extraordinary needs' (as she puts it) children. The way that it is all explained is easy to understand and quite clear to the reader with the solution being an easy one for each and every situation. Please check out the link above and then go out and get a copy for yourself or you can order it online though Amazon.com

The Petting Zoo, Swimming, and Ears

This is Griffin petting a sheep at the petting zoo the other day. As you can tell he loves to have contact with all kinds of animals. I am going to check into the program that they have here for children with special needs and horseback riding. I don't know at what age he can start but I am sure excited for him to be able to ride a horse. I used to ride horses when I was quite young and they were all that I cared about and loved. Griffin went to O.T. today to the swimming pool as he always does on Tuesdays. He is making lots of progress by communicating with Gayle much better. There is a ledge in the pool where Griffin can stand wiith his head well above the water but if he jumps then he goes into the deep part. He is supposed to let Gayle know that he is jumping off and wait for her to say, "I'm ready" so that he knows that it is safe to jump. Well, he did not and plunged into the water and Gayle caught him but not before his head went under. Boy, what a look of shock on his face and oh what a lesson he learned in that brief moment. But of course, he ended up smiling and laughing after the shock wore off. Now, I am wondering about his ears because he has been holding his hands over his ears lately and I don't know if it means that they are hurting or if it is a sensory issue. I wonder because he is mostly doing it whenever I turn on my TV but he isn't bothered by the sound of his TV or DVD player even when they are going on at the same time. One might even guess that it is a control issue that he is just trying to jerk mommy around but I don't think so. I think that he genuinely is bothered by my TV being on somehow. He will cover his ears and say "No no no no!!!!!" and even begin crying if I refuse to turn it off. Please tell me what you think it might be. Do you think that it is A. His ears are hurting or the sound is hurting his ears. B. It is a control issue or a power struggle/ manipulation on his part C. It is totally a sensory issue and the sound is causing some confusion or genuine irritation. I am taking him into the doctor tomorrow for his ears to be checked just in case it has something to do with the tubes in his ears. I am probably taking him to the pediatrician but will also make an appointment for the ear, nose, and throat doctor too. Please let me know what you think about this issue and maybe any experience that you have had that is similar to this one.

Autism and K.C.

Autism and K.C. is a blog that you will want to visit over and over again because Tina writes so well about the life and times of K.C. and his Big Brother. Join me in welcoming her back and letting her know that we care and are interested in what goes on in their lives. It is fascinating the progress that K.C. has made lately and it's fun to hear all the stories of Big Brother's great imagination and intellect. Go and check out their blog, you'll be glad that you did.

Here is Griffin with Gayle in O.T, he is climbing the rope ladder. He seemed to do okay while going up the ladder but going down was too much of a challenge for him apparently because he would just laugh, let go, and fall down to the mat. While climbing up he was a bit more serious and seemed to really want to make it to the top. In this photo Griffin is getting help from Gayle in helping him down the ladder, it is a lot of work for anyone to climb and desend a ladder like that much less a little 4 year old. I think that he did a great job. Griffin went to the zoo with his class on Friday and I went along as well. I am so proud of him because he did so well. He was the only child out of all the students 8 (I think) who wasn't crying. Griffin was his usual happy camper self and just seemed to have a blast watching all the animals. He especially had fun at the petting zoo of course. I just think that it is amazing that he didn't become overwhelmed with his surroundings because there are so many different sights, sounds, and odors too. So, I understand how the other children became upset probably from sensory overload. It was pretty chilly outside too, my hands were freezing, I am sure that it was a contributing factor in the whole situation. Today is really nice and we are about to go out and take Griffiin's service dog, Abby for a walk Hugs to all of you and have a great day!

Griffin Loves Animals

Griffin absolutely adores animals. When he is around them it is like magic. His favorite animal is our cat "Pisgah" and of course he loves his service dog, "Abby". Griffin is an affectionate little guy with me and other people like my family but he is most affectionate with the animals. He is always giving big hugs to Pisgah and petting him so nicely. Here you can see the sheer joy on Griffin's face as he pets the horse. My mom is holding him and of course she is thrilled, as was I, that he enjoyed feeding the horses carrots and petting them. He is definately like his mommy because I have always loved animals ever since I can remember and have always had them in my life. I highly recommend , if you are able to do it, that any of you who have a child with autism that you consider getting a service dog or even just a pet of some kind because it can make a world of difference with your child's behavior. Before we got Abby, Griffin would bang his head all the time especially when we were out in public. He had many negetive behaviors that seemed to just disappear once Abby came along. Now, Abby goes with us everywhere and she wasn't even professionally trained. I trained her myself and she is absolutely awesome. I don't know about other states but in Alaska it is not necessary for a service dog to be trained professionally. All that matters is that the dog is well behaved in public and of course it is necessary for the dog to be gentle and to have never shown any signs of aggression or having been protective in any way. I know that I have probably written about Abby before but I just want everyone to know about how wonderful a service dog can be for a child/individual with autism. Griffin had speech today and he did okay . Lisa worked on sequencing which he is not quite ready for so mostly he observed her doing it herself. Then they worked on opposites and he did okay with that with a little help. Lisa got him to answer some "wh" questions such as: What goes here? and What else is green? etc.... She said that even though the sequencing is a bit advanced for him that it is good that he is getting exposed to them anyhow. Griffin got a case of the sillies for awhile which usually means that he needs a break, Lisa is really good at recognizing this and he recovered nicely after his break. Tomorrow, Griffin has O.T. with Gayle at the clinic and he had swimming on Tuesday which went really really well of course. Gayle is so good with him, she taught him to say"I'm jumping" so that she would know that he is about to jump off the ledge that is in the kid's swimming pool. Once he jumped without her knowing he was going to and he plunged under the water and caught them both by surprise. I think that it scared him just enough to help teach him a lesson but at the same time he had a smile on his face as he was coughing. Thanks a bunch Gayle and Lisa for all your hard work and dedication. We love ya!

I Miss My Family

I miss my family so very much. I know that I keep going on about it but it just breaks my heart that Griffin bonded with them so well and now he cannot see them anymore. It is also hard for me because I am so close with them and I can't have their support, the kind that I need, so far away. I have little to no support up here because the friends that I do have do not help me watch Griffin on a regular basis only in emergency situations. Therefore, I am without support and the closeness that I need so much. I am sure that I will adjust with time and learn to be alone again like I have been for so many years. I know that it sounds as if I am complaining and I don't mean for it to be that way. I love the people who are up here who care about me and Griffin, they are very special to me and I know that they are always there for me if I need them in a pinch. I only wish that I could spend more time with them. There have been opportunities for me to meet new people but I am just not the kind of social creature who likes to meet new people. The friends that I do have don't have children so we don't get together to do play dates. I have searched for groups of moms who have children Griffin's age and are autistic but have had no luck because there are no groups that have been formed. Maybe one day I will take the iniciative and try to put together a bunch of moms with autistic children but for now it is not on my agenda. I sure do hope that this publishes because I have had problems with Blogger the past two days. I have composed several posts and once I click on Publish Post my entire post just disappeared. So, I am taking a chance and trying once more. Speaking of, I don't want to make this too terribly long just in case it does disappear this time. That way I won't be quite as upset if the post is not that long. Here's hoping that it works. Oh yes, and the picture above is of my brother and Griffin. My brother is 5 years younger than I and my sister is 1 yr. older which makes me the middle child :) and that is another story in itself :)

Griffin's IEP Meeting

Griffin is watching one of his favorite DVD's here with his cousin Emma and Auntie Lisa in S.C. Today Griffin woke up and said, " Let's go see NaNa." and it made me shed some tears as I told him that he could not. I don't know if he understood but I explained to him that it will be awhile before we would be able to see NaNa and PaPa again. I am pretty sure that it bothered me much more than it did him. I met with Griffin's teacher, Kathleen, and his SLP, Marcia, at the school today for his IEP meeting and to sign the papers for the ESY( extended school year/summer school). Marcia said that Griffin has made excellent progress. The Progress Report reads as follows: Although Griffin continues to verbalize often without the intent to communicate, he is demonstrating an increase in his spontaneous, meaningful utterances. These utterances also include emerging use of varied communication intentions. In a recent 39 utterance sample, he responded appropriately to 2 conversational questions; made a comment ("upside down") while looking at a picture; and called adult's attention to an item of interest by saying, "Look" and pointing. We are trying to teach him to say "Look" or something similar rather than, "Hi" to initially gain attention. However, his desire to bring attention to himself and to items of interest is a sign of growth in his communication competence. There is so much on the IEP-Progress Report that is positive and shows excellent progress but I don't have the energy to type it all out tonight, perhaps I will continue with more tomorrow. I am just happy to say that I am so very proud of my little guy and that I am very fortunate because I have heard so many stories of how awful some IEP meetings can be yet I have always had wonderful IEP meetings. Thanks in large part to the fact that Griffin has had wonderful teachers and O.T.'s and SLP's throughout his time in school. I say "Thank you ladies for all that you have done for my beautiful child Griffin." You have made our lives so much more fulfilled and enriched.

Griffin and Hayley

Griffin really bonded with his cousin Hayley. Here they are after playing really hard in the hotel room the night before we left to come home. It is such a sweet picture but it makes me feel like crying because I know how much she must miss him and how much I miss her and the rest of my family. I am hoping that perhaps we will be able to visit them again in the fall because it is just too hard to be away from them even though I know it is for the best, for Griffin's sake. I have checked into some of the schools that are private in Western North Carolina and I simply would not be able to afford sending Griffin to one. I am considering moving to Wisconsin where my friend Amy lives. She has sent me information on the school system and the services available to children with autism there. So far it seems to be really good but I'll have to see if they are comparable to the system here in Alaska.
Griffin just got home from school is he is a wild boy today! He is running around in circles and laughing his little head off while watching Zoboomafoo. It seems that the trip has had little to no effect on him and that really makes me glad. He never stopped being himself the entire time that we were gone and is still the same ol' happy little camper that he usually is. Check back again soon, maybe tomorrow even, because I will be posting more pictures from the trip.

We Are Home

Here is my mom with Griffin, I didn't mean to cut my dad out of the picture, and as you can see there was lots of happiness going on when they were together. Our trip was fantastic and way too short. Griffin was a trooper and adjusted quite well to all the transitions and changes from day to day. Nearly every day we would either be changing households or location always moving about and going places and Griffin just kept his happy-go-lucky positive attitude. He showed a lot of affection toward everyone in the family much to my surprise. He even showed some affection toward the flight attendant, Leslie, who was ever so helpful on our flight from Minneapolis to Anchorage on Northwest Airlines. Griffin had a pretty bad meltdown when we were boarding the aircraft at Minneapolis. I found that once I let the passengers in the near vicinity that my son had autism they were so very kind, understanding, and helpful. There were actually a few men onboard who helped by holding Griffin and Abby (Griffin's service dog) while I got situated. Griffin had a hard time on the flight I think partly due to the fact that he had a pretty high temperature and didn't feel well. Eventually, he went to sleep after crying and screaming for about an hour, I guess that he just wore himself out. I will be posting more photos on my next post In the meantime, I just wanted to let everyone know what has been going on since my last post.
There was so many reasons to decide to move to N.C. or S.C. because I want us to be near my family but I found out that the services in either state are not even comparable to what is available to Griffin here in Alaska. I was told by the woman at the TEACCH office that both states are not very good for services, not just for the TEACCH program but for all other services, especially N.C. because it is mandated and it has an influx of people moving there thinking that there is going to be great services and ultimately are disappointed because the system cannot support the amount of people. She told me that it would be best for us to stay in Alaska at least until he is ready to be mainstreamed into regular ed. So, I guess that for now we won't be moving to the lower 48. This is sad news for me and my family because I had so wanted to move to be closer to them and have lots of love and support.
For the time being we will stay here and Griffin will continue with his services at his school, which are excellent, and his private O.T. (twice a week) and his private speech therapy. We will continue to receive free diapers through Medicaid and full coverage of medical services too. It is a good thing for him and I am very grateful that we live in a state that takes autism seriously and makes life so much easier and less complicated for us.
I will be posting again soon to continue telling you about our wonderful trip and adding more photos.

Griffin Bonded with NaNa and PaPa

Griffin has been doing so very well that it just astounds me. He woke me up this morning at 5:30 saying "Let's go see NaNa and PaPa over and over until finally he went into their room and woke them up. It was a good thing that they were planning on getting up at that time already because my dad was due to have surgery this morning. Griffin gave them both hugs and said "good morning". He has bonded with my parents so well and actually seems to miss them today. As he was sitting on the toilet using it all by himself, he asked for NaNa and PaPa again and again. Now, to me , that is a big deal that he misses them so much. When my sister came by to visit, Griffin was doing a great job at initiating social interaction and wanted her to tickle him. It truly warms my heart that even though Griffin has never met these family members that he loves them all the same and warmed up to them as though he has known them his whole life. I will keep you posted on what we are doing to the best of my ability. We might be in a hotel room for a few nights so in that case I won't be able to post but as soon as I am at a computer again I'll let ya know what we're up to. I haven't checked my e-mail as often as I would like but I do still get it so Tina, Amy, and Steve, I will get your e-mail and will try to write back if I am able. Until next time take care all and hope you are all well, I sure do miss reading your blogs but I'm sure that I'll catch up as soon as we return home. Oh yea, I am having some technical difficulty with the camera situation so sorry there's no photos yet, but for sure after we get home I will have lots (I think)

We Are Here in South Carolina

It is our second day here in S.C. and the weather is beautiful. The long flight was grueling because I didn't sleep a wink. Griffin did sleep, however, because I had given him the medication so it made it better for him and easier for me. He did wake up during our layover in Minneapolis but sat quietly in the stroller as we waited for our next flight. Abby got lots of attention from the flight attendants and the captain even called ahead to Minneapolis to make sure that there would be someone there to take Abby outside to do her business. Sure enough, by the time I walked in, the gate agent greeted me and let me know that there would be a man coming to take Abby out. He showed up a few minutes later and took her out but she wouldn't do anything so he told me that he would be back to try again later. After only several minutes he had returned, took her out again with success this time. I am so grateful to the people of Northwest Airlines for their kindness and consideration of Abby, Griffin's service dog. It has been so very nice to see my parents again after 4 long years it means the world to me. Griffin has made the adjustment quite well and has shown no signs of ill behavior due to being away from familiar surroundings. He loves my mom and dad and has warmed up to them with great ease. My parents are simply thrilled to no end with his presence here, giving him lots of love and attention. I had much rather go outside and enjoy this beautiful weather and go spend time with my family than to be in here on this computer but I wanted to let my dear friends know what's going on here. We send all of you lots of hugs and smiles and hopefully I will have figured out the camera situation by the time I post next.

Getting Ready to Leave

I am writing this the night before we are due to leave because there is still a lot to do to get ready to leave. I wanted to let everyone know that we are about to go to the lower 48 to visit my family in N.C. and S.C. and I will be writing on the blog from there complete with pictures of our family. I am so excited but still anxious at the same time but I am sure that it will be a wonderful trip. I probably won't have time to visit your blogs while I am away and I will miss you all. I hope that you all are very well and that you have a happy two weeks while I'm away. The first leg of our flight will be 5 hours to Minneapolis then 1 1/2 hrs. layover, then we arrive in Atlanta 2 1/2 hours later. I sure hope that I can get some sleep. As I mentioned before, I am giving Griffin the melatonin to help him sleep and the Clonodine 1/4 tablet if necessary to make sure that he sleeps the entire flight because it is a red-eye and we'll be flying all night long. Please take a look at the book in the previous post and do consider buying it . I'm getting a copy as soon as I get to S.C. Well, I am getting very tired and still have stuff to do. Take care everyone, see ya soon!